RD's life diary: I'm back (sort of)
- Thread starter Russiandoll
- Start date
Russiandoll
Carpe diem
Yesterday was a tough day. Not sure why ... maybe it's the perpetually grim weather which, frankly, is getting just a bit tedious now. A bit of blue sky is desperately needed!
All day I had the overwhelming urge to chow down on whatever food was around but I managed to ward off the call of the Nutri-grain bars, thank goodness and my diet for the day finished intact.
I started making some greetings cards last night and intend to sell them at some point to raise money for The ARC - my local big car booty has indoor tables and I think there are discounts for charities. I made about 20 or so (I've just got a few embellishments to add) and will do more whenever I have a bit of spare time. Apart from the potential for making a bit more cash 'for the cause', making the cards also has the added bonus of keeping my fingers busy and my mind off food. Result!
I'm hoping that there's a long enough break in the weather today for me to take a good long walk along the bay. I'm afraid I'm a bit of a fair-weather walker: I get no pleasure from being drenched and cold. Fingers crossed for a few hours of decent weather so I can get some blood pulsing instead of going boggle-eyed in front of the Jeremy Kyle show!
All day I had the overwhelming urge to chow down on whatever food was around but I managed to ward off the call of the Nutri-grain bars, thank goodness and my diet for the day finished intact.
I started making some greetings cards last night and intend to sell them at some point to raise money for The ARC - my local big car booty has indoor tables and I think there are discounts for charities. I made about 20 or so (I've just got a few embellishments to add) and will do more whenever I have a bit of spare time. Apart from the potential for making a bit more cash 'for the cause', making the cards also has the added bonus of keeping my fingers busy and my mind off food. Result!
I'm hoping that there's a long enough break in the weather today for me to take a good long walk along the bay. I'm afraid I'm a bit of a fair-weather walker: I get no pleasure from being drenched and cold. Fingers crossed for a few hours of decent weather so I can get some blood pulsing instead of going boggle-eyed in front of the Jeremy Kyle show!
Russiandoll
Carpe diem
I didn't get the chance to go for my walk today (although the weather DID hold off - maybe summer is coming?). Reason is that my eldest daughter has been admitted to hospital and I've got my two granddaughters to stay.
My daughter has been suffering from stomach pain under her breast-bone for weeks but recently it's become much more acute and ended up with her being admitted to hospital for tests. She's had a saline drip and one for pain relief put in and initial tests show that her liver function is cause for concern.
There's talk of possible gall stones - she's having more tests tomorrow to see if this is what's causing the problem.
The good news is that despite yet another set-back I didn't turn to food this time. I haven't totally SS'd today to be honest: I had a small tin of tuna earlier but I'm not thrashing myself over that ... at least it wasn't a carb-fest!
Now I'm just hoping that my daughter will be out of hospital soon.
My daughter has been suffering from stomach pain under her breast-bone for weeks but recently it's become much more acute and ended up with her being admitted to hospital for tests. She's had a saline drip and one for pain relief put in and initial tests show that her liver function is cause for concern.
There's talk of possible gall stones - she's having more tests tomorrow to see if this is what's causing the problem.
The good news is that despite yet another set-back I didn't turn to food this time. I haven't totally SS'd today to be honest: I had a small tin of tuna earlier but I'm not thrashing myself over that ... at least it wasn't a carb-fest!
Now I'm just hoping that my daughter will be out of hospital soon.
Summerskye
Gold Member
Summerskye
Gold Member
Russiandoll
Carpe diem
Yahoo!! Summer is here at last!! 
Russiandoll
Carpe diem
Thanks minilady. I've found out that my daughter will probably need surgery but I'll know more later.
canireallydothis!!
Gold Member
Hey RD, Was it gall stones they found?? Hope today has been ok for you, you struck a cord 2 days ago with the post about food constantly being there, bugs the hell outta me too.
Go for it RD, thinkin of ya x
Go for it RD, thinkin of ya x
Russiandoll
Carpe diem
My daughter had an ultrasound yesterday and they found gallstones and also a cyst on her ovaries.
I think they intend on surgery but we're still all waiting to hear what the final plans are: you know what it's like in hospital ... you sit waiting for an eternity even to find out if you're allowed a cup of coffee let alone what the plan of action is!
I've had my two granddaughters since Friday and although it's been nice, I'm worn to a frazzle. It also means hubby and I have had no quality time alone which, with him working away, is a rare enough commodity already. I feel like my life is racing along at break-neck speed, careering from one crisis to another and not giving me a chance to take a breath in between.
We took them and my two daughters to see Shrek the third last night - it was great and we all enjoyed it. We took some sweets along to avoid the high cost of the cinema's concessions counter and during the film, I very unfortunately succumbed to the call of the fun-size Bounty bag, ending up eating six ... yes, SIX.
I'm truly annoyed with myself as I've probably ruined a whole week of good CDing: I could scream! I get weighed on Monday at 5.30 so there's not much time to put things right: I'll just have to take the result on the chin.
The sun is shining today so I'm really hoping that I can get out in the fresh air for at least a little while - I feel desperately at a low ebb.
I think they intend on surgery but we're still all waiting to hear what the final plans are: you know what it's like in hospital ... you sit waiting for an eternity even to find out if you're allowed a cup of coffee let alone what the plan of action is!
I've had my two granddaughters since Friday and although it's been nice, I'm worn to a frazzle. It also means hubby and I have had no quality time alone which, with him working away, is a rare enough commodity already. I feel like my life is racing along at break-neck speed, careering from one crisis to another and not giving me a chance to take a breath in between.
We took them and my two daughters to see Shrek the third last night - it was great and we all enjoyed it. We took some sweets along to avoid the high cost of the cinema's concessions counter and during the film, I very unfortunately succumbed to the call of the fun-size Bounty bag, ending up eating six ... yes, SIX.
I'm truly annoyed with myself as I've probably ruined a whole week of good CDing: I could scream! I get weighed on Monday at 5.30 so there's not much time to put things right: I'll just have to take the result on the chin.
The sun is shining today so I'm really hoping that I can get out in the fresh air for at least a little while - I feel desperately at a low ebb.
Barb
Gold Member
Yes, but they were fun size, not full size, see it could have been worse!
I am worried about you though, I just think the level of pressure in your life at the mo plus SS is asking for trouble. I accept that you know best but I do feel you are being incredibly tough with yourself and question if you would advise a dear friend in your exact position to put themselves through a punishing weight loss program.
Don't mean to nag, its only because I care about you. Would now be a good time to mention Judddd? Tee Hee!
Love
I am worried about you though, I just think the level of pressure in your life at the mo plus SS is asking for trouble. I accept that you know best but I do feel you are being incredibly tough with yourself and question if you would advise a dear friend in your exact position to put themselves through a punishing weight loss program.
Don't mean to nag, its only because I care about you. Would now be a good time to mention Judddd? Tee Hee!
Love
Russiandoll
Carpe diem
It's tempting Barb I have to admit.
I just feel everything is out of control at the moment - it's like I'm on a horrible roller-coaster ride involuntarily and am constantly bracing myself for the next drop.
Talking of which, my dad is still declining day by day: I think he has now resigned himself to the inevitable. He was talking to my sister on the phone yesterday (the nutty one) and was reminiscing over old times ... not big events but really tiny details like when we used to go and pick our own sweetcorn and spuds many years ago. He's obviously been running through his life now that he can hardly move and has a lot of time to sit and think.
I'm more worried about my mum who told another sister on the phone the other day that she hopes my dad has 'another few years in him'. If you could see my dad, you'd know this isn't likely.
We think my mum is in denial - you only have to look at my dad to see he hasn't got much fight left in him: he's in constant pain and is woefully thin. But my mum obviously doesn't want to face the impending loss of her soul mate. They married after knowing each other only 9 days and have been together for 47 years: they live in each other's pockets and love it. Before my dad became ill, my mum told me that she still got butterflies in her tummy whenever she heard my dad's car pull up outside - how lovely is that?
I know me and my sisters will have to be there big time to support her when the time comes and I'm bracing myself for that.
2007 is, so far, turning out to be an 'annus horriblis' for me - I'd like to hope that things will turn around in the second half of the year but with what's on the horizon, I can't see that happening.
Consequently, I'm cherishing ANY happy moments (even a trip to the cinema) to stop me from going completely mad!
I just feel everything is out of control at the moment - it's like I'm on a horrible roller-coaster ride involuntarily and am constantly bracing myself for the next drop.
Talking of which, my dad is still declining day by day: I think he has now resigned himself to the inevitable. He was talking to my sister on the phone yesterday (the nutty one) and was reminiscing over old times ... not big events but really tiny details like when we used to go and pick our own sweetcorn and spuds many years ago. He's obviously been running through his life now that he can hardly move and has a lot of time to sit and think.
I'm more worried about my mum who told another sister on the phone the other day that she hopes my dad has 'another few years in him'. If you could see my dad, you'd know this isn't likely.
We think my mum is in denial - you only have to look at my dad to see he hasn't got much fight left in him: he's in constant pain and is woefully thin. But my mum obviously doesn't want to face the impending loss of her soul mate. They married after knowing each other only 9 days and have been together for 47 years: they live in each other's pockets and love it. Before my dad became ill, my mum told me that she still got butterflies in her tummy whenever she heard my dad's car pull up outside - how lovely is that?
I know me and my sisters will have to be there big time to support her when the time comes and I'm bracing myself for that.
2007 is, so far, turning out to be an 'annus horriblis' for me - I'd like to hope that things will turn around in the second half of the year but with what's on the horizon, I can't see that happening.
Consequently, I'm cherishing ANY happy moments (even a trip to the cinema) to stop me from going completely mad!
Barb
Gold Member
Please re-read the above and then see why I don't want you pushing yourself any harder. Its just too much. You have to give everybody else so much, where do you and your needs fit in? Nowhere would be my guess.
I think your plan for raising money in Jame's name is totally admirable, but remembering him and the kind of boy he was, would he want you to be under this kind of pressure? I doubt it very much.
I think what you achieved on CD was phenomenal and I know what a brilliant plan it is for so many people, but it sounds like something you need to do when there are not a shedload of other demands on you. That is not you at the moment, is it? You are being pulled in every direction by family worries and needs.
I think it is important that you halt any weight gain, you then need to find a plan you can live with and I mean live with. Not something that has you constantly banging your head against a brick wall. I think Juddd would suit, or a simple cal counting plan. You are not going to drop 6 stone fast, maybe it would be better to say, ' I did the first 6 stone fast now the second 6 stone will be slow' . Make a plan that allows you some slack, you cannot and must not keep building yourself up only to knock yourself down.
End of lecture!
Much Love
I think your plan for raising money in Jame's name is totally admirable, but remembering him and the kind of boy he was, would he want you to be under this kind of pressure? I doubt it very much.
I think what you achieved on CD was phenomenal and I know what a brilliant plan it is for so many people, but it sounds like something you need to do when there are not a shedload of other demands on you. That is not you at the moment, is it? You are being pulled in every direction by family worries and needs.
I think it is important that you halt any weight gain, you then need to find a plan you can live with and I mean live with. Not something that has you constantly banging your head against a brick wall. I think Juddd would suit, or a simple cal counting plan. You are not going to drop 6 stone fast, maybe it would be better to say, ' I did the first 6 stone fast now the second 6 stone will be slow' . Make a plan that allows you some slack, you cannot and must not keep building yourself up only to knock yourself down.
End of lecture!
Much Love
Russiandoll
Carpe diem
I know you're talking total sense Barb: I'm my own toughest task-master most of the time (although it's true to say that I haven't had much say in the emotional work-load lately).
The sponsored slim thing I'm doing for James is a way of not only raising funds for his favourite cause but to 'encourage' me to stick with some sort of plan. To people offline, I've stated that I aim to lose 2lb a week ... I refrained from committing myself to a stone per month for the very reason you pointed out: I should cut myself some slack and allow a margin for lapses. Under the circumstances, who could condemn me for the occasional blip?
I do NEED to lose some weight though: I'm utterly miserable at this weight - not to mention clotheless! But I take on board your comments on pressurising myself and I think that maybe I need to stop waving such a big stick. I'm not super-woman after all.
So, I'm resisting all temptation to feel guilty about last night's 'fun-size Bounty' incident and am moving forward today. I've had a thick CD shake this morning and a small tin of tuna and a CD bar for lunch. I shouldn't have had the tuna on SS really but hey, it's not a hanging offence. I promise to try and be a little kinder to myself from now on
Thanks Barb: you're a rock as always xx
The sponsored slim thing I'm doing for James is a way of not only raising funds for his favourite cause but to 'encourage' me to stick with some sort of plan. To people offline, I've stated that I aim to lose 2lb a week ... I refrained from committing myself to a stone per month for the very reason you pointed out: I should cut myself some slack and allow a margin for lapses. Under the circumstances, who could condemn me for the occasional blip?
I do NEED to lose some weight though: I'm utterly miserable at this weight - not to mention clotheless! But I take on board your comments on pressurising myself and I think that maybe I need to stop waving such a big stick. I'm not super-woman after all.
So, I'm resisting all temptation to feel guilty about last night's 'fun-size Bounty' incident and am moving forward today. I've had a thick CD shake this morning and a small tin of tuna and a CD bar for lunch. I shouldn't have had the tuna on SS really but hey, it's not a hanging offence. I promise to try and be a little kinder to myself from now on
Thanks Barb: you're a rock as always xx
kandy
Silver Member
Hi Debbie,
Just caught up with you, i am so sorry to hear of your loss. Also sad that your Dad is very poorly and your daughter too.
I hope (as lovely Barb has already said ) that your not straining yourself you need to take care of you too !
Your a lovely person who gives great support and advice and i hate to think bad things are prevelant in your life right now i will be thinking of you and hoping for good things to come your way soon x
I will be happy to sponsor you, but dont force yourself m8 i would be just as happy to make it a donation.
sending you all my love special lady .
Love Julie XXX
Just caught up with you, i am so sorry to hear of your loss. Also sad that your Dad is very poorly and your daughter too.
I hope (as lovely Barb has already said ) that your not straining yourself you need to take care of you too !
Your a lovely person who gives great support and advice and i hate to think bad things are prevelant in your life right now i will be thinking of you and hoping for good things to come your way soon x
I will be happy to sponsor you, but dont force yourself m8 i would be just as happy to make it a donation.
sending you all my love special lady .
Love Julie XXX
IreneH
Gold Member
sorry to hear everything seems to be going wrong at the moment and you wonder if anything else can happen. I totally understand how you feel about your dad. I now look back and realise I am glad mam went when she did as she was so in pain and very independent and would have hated someone to have to do everything for her. Your mam will not want to see what is happening. Again this is a day at a time situation for you. Hope your daughter is getting better and that your dad is comfortable
Thinking of you all
Irene xx
Thinking of you all
Irene xx
Russiandoll
Carpe diem
My granddaughters went home with their dad about 1pm - my daughter is still in hospital and is booked in for surgery tomorrow morning so I'm going to be picking the girls up from school and playing it by ear from there.
We decided that we needed to 'get away from it all' after a hectic few days and weeks of foul weather and so went to the beach at about 2pm - just me, steve and our youngest, Sophie (11). It was very breezy to say the least but the sun was shining and the surf was up ... there were dozens of kite surfers out and Sophie 'the mermaid' took to the sea with her body-board.
:character00180:
I wish I could show you just how wonderful it all looked with the huge multi-coloured kite canopies floating in a blue sky - it was really breath-taking!
Sophie spent the next three hours messing about on the waves whilst we just chilled and watched the amazing scene. I took along some crisps and there was an ice-cream van nearby but I was happy sipping water.
At 5pm, we went home, Sophie jumped in the shower & changed then we met my sister and her kids down at the bay and went for a walk to Fort Gilkicker, a disused fort right on Spithead where the dogs can run and the kids can climb, mess about and just be kids.
After a good long walk, we went home where I made a chicken casserole with mash & veg for the others and I had tuna followed by a CD mousse.
I am totally pooped - but in a good way for once. Today has been a good day.
PS
Your support and kind comments have meant the world to me - thanks everyone xx
We decided that we needed to 'get away from it all' after a hectic few days and weeks of foul weather and so went to the beach at about 2pm - just me, steve and our youngest, Sophie (11). It was very breezy to say the least but the sun was shining and the surf was up ... there were dozens of kite surfers out and Sophie 'the mermaid' took to the sea with her body-board.
:character00180:
I wish I could show you just how wonderful it all looked with the huge multi-coloured kite canopies floating in a blue sky - it was really breath-taking!
Sophie spent the next three hours messing about on the waves whilst we just chilled and watched the amazing scene. I took along some crisps and there was an ice-cream van nearby but I was happy sipping water.
At 5pm, we went home, Sophie jumped in the shower & changed then we met my sister and her kids down at the bay and went for a walk to Fort Gilkicker, a disused fort right on Spithead where the dogs can run and the kids can climb, mess about and just be kids.
After a good long walk, we went home where I made a chicken casserole with mash & veg for the others and I had tuna followed by a CD mousse.
I am totally pooped - but in a good way for once
. Today has been a good day.PS
Your support and kind comments have meant the world to me - thanks everyone xx
Russiandoll
Carpe diem
I started the day with a nice long walk. I dropped my youngest off for a visit to the secondary school she's going to in September (can my baby REALLY be going to secondary school?? ) and as it's situated right on the bay, I thought I'd take the pooch with me and start the day with a good dose of ozone!
We walked though the big wooded park next to the school that leads to the beach and even though the sky was a little cloudy, it was gorgeous: cool and fresh - perfect for a brisk walk. The sea was like glass and was dotted with little white-sailed yachts; there were ferries, cargo ships and one lone nutter in the water taking a morning dip!
I walked right to the end of the bay and sat for a while, taking in the view. I moved away from here in 2000 - It took five years away to really appreciate how lucky I am to live here now that I've come home.
A brisk walk back to the car, a trip to Asda for some bits and bobs and here I am (just about to put the kettle on).
I don't think I've done particularly well this week: I was supposed to be SSing but ended up having the odd tin of tuna and slice of chicken (not to mention the six fun-size Bounties at the cinema ... oops!). Oh well ... anything DOWNWARDS will be better than nothing - we'll see at 5.30.
) and as it's situated right on the bay, I thought I'd take the pooch with me and start the day with a good dose of ozone!We walked though the big wooded park next to the school that leads to the beach and even though the sky was a little cloudy, it was gorgeous: cool and fresh - perfect for a brisk walk. The sea was like glass and was dotted with little white-sailed yachts; there were ferries, cargo ships and one lone nutter in the water taking a morning dip!
I walked right to the end of the bay and sat for a while, taking in the view. I moved away from here in 2000 - It took five years away to really appreciate how lucky I am to live here now that I've come home.
A brisk walk back to the car, a trip to Asda for some bits and bobs and here I am (just about to put the kettle on
).I don't think I've done particularly well this week: I was supposed to be SSing but ended up having the odd tin of tuna and slice of chicken (not to mention the six fun-size Bounties at the cinema ... oops!). Oh well ... anything DOWNWARDS will be better than nothing - we'll see at 5.30.
