Hugs Judi, there is nothing that will make this right overnight, its going to be slow process of inner healing. You have got to just take your time and not hurry the process (easy said when we all want things yesturday), but most of all, you have to stop thinking about others and put yourself first. The NHS will carry on without you and your work collegues will be getting through the day. They would rather you were well and happy, than at work and suffering. I understand how you feel having been off sick since February this year myself, and my stomach was in knots for weeks cos I felt guity about being off. But time does change things hun, you begin to realise that your health is more important than anything else. Don't try and rush things Judi, do things you enjoy doing and that make you happy while you are off, If you can have a couple of hours feeling relaxed then that is progress. Most of all, don't feel guilty about putting yourself first, its necessary. I'm always here for you if you want to pm me for a chat or a moan.
Love Carolyne xxxxx