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Setting a goal weight & self image (9stone weight loss so far)

I'm a bit confused atm - I've been doing Cambridge Diet since January and have lost 9 stone stone so far - I'm starting to near my original goal weight but part of my brain is telling me to keep going (although I've discussed it with my CDC and she still thinks my original goal is most sensible!) It's just it'll put me at the top end of my weight range and I'm worried I'll still be 'fat'.
Has anyone else had this dilemma?

I'm also struggling a bit to see that I have lost weight - logically I know I have - my clothes are now a lot smaller and other people generally point it out but part of me thinks it's a bit of a fluke.
It's partly because I'm wearing size 14 clothes atm (well apart from the size 16 shirts that still wont do up around my boobs!) but I'm still really heavy (probably where a lot of people start their diets) so generally I'm a bit confused!
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Cambridge Counsellor
You know, if you've lost nine stone, you must look dramatically different - no question!! That's an amazing weight loss, and you should be very, very proud.

I 'only' lost five and a half stone, but can certainly relate. I started off wearing size 22s, and have now been wearing size 10/12s for the past two years. However, it takes a long time for your head to catch up, and I still often see myself as 'fat', even though the logical part of me knows that I can't be too bad in the sizes i'm wearing! Some days, I feel no different to how I did before I lost the weight, although I think that's gotten better as time's gone on.

What made you set your goal as it is in the first place? Is it because, with such a lot of weight to lose you couldn't see yourself being any slimmer than that? When I began cd, I just dreamed of being a size 14 - even the thought of a size 16 was thrilling! However, when I got to a 14 I wasn't satisfied and didn't want to stop. As i've said, even now i'm not always satisfied, as there are parts of my body that I still don't like.

My advice would be to just wait and see. There's no reason why you can't get down to your original goal and then re-assess the situation from there. None of our goals are set in stone, as you might be perfectly happy heavier than that, or might realise there're still more 'fat bits' you want to get rid of once you get down to your original goal. So long as you don't become obsessed and wind up underweight, then I say whatever makes you happy when you get there. :)

Well done on your achievement so far, and good luck with the rest of it. :)

Jo x
I totally envy your size 10/12s! It must be a great feeling! It's also interesting to hear that sometimes you feel the same Had you spent long as a size 22?

I'm not entirely sure why I settled on the original goal weight, I guess it was a weight I'd had in mind for a while, my CDC thought it was sensible - it's around the same weight she's happy at + I generally look a stone or two lighter than I am (apparently). I'm 24 but I've spent all of my life 'big' (I was a size 18/20 for most of my adult life - apart from for a year where I put on a monsterous amount of weight and went up to a size 26!) so it would be nice to be skinny (I'm 5'7 so to be in the middle of my healthy weight range I should be about 10 stone) but then I'm not sure I'd be happy then either and I'd just want to keep going.


Cambridge Counsellor
I never had a real weight problem as a youngster (never 'skinny' as a child or teen, but not 'fat' either), but I did have to be fairly careful about what I ate once I reached about 16. However, I then got pregnant with my daughter at the age of 21 (born whilst I was 22) and put on over five stone! I ate for England whilst pregnant, if i'm honest, and couldn't get around much as I had PSD (separated pelvis). I lost around half the weight 12/18 months later, but then got pregnant with my son. I probably 'only' gained about three stone with him, but, because I started off heavier, I wound up heavier still. During the rest of my twenties I dieted on and off, would lose enough to get to a size 16, then would wind up ganing it all back again due to never actually changing my eating habits permanently. I discovered cd at the age of 31, and finally found the diet that worked for me! As I said, i've maintained my loss now for just over two years, so am very pleased about that.

So, anyway (i'm rambling now!), in answer to your question, I spent ten years of my life - the whole of my twenties - as a 'fat girl' who struggled with her weight, so I guess the perceptions I have of my body shape are fairly deep-rooted.

Like you, I seem to be 'lucky' in that I tend to look like I weigh a stone or so less than I actually do. I used to always take a stone off if I ever told anyone my weight, and they'd still be surprised and say they couldn't believe I was that heavy. I am now right at the top end of the healthy BMI, which I know wouldn't be light enough for most people to wear size 10s. Only my jeans are size 12s, and that's because I still have wobbly thighs! Like you say though, i'm never entirely happy - I think that before cd I only had one problem with my body, and that was it being 'fat'! Now I see loads of different things I don't like about it, which I think makes me even more critical of myself. Does that make sense?

Don't get me wrong, it is a great feeling to be wearing size 10/12s, and to be able to choose the clothes I really like, not just the one's that I feel make me look the least fat! Two years on, I still catch my reflection in shop windows, etc, occasionally and have to do a double take because that 'normal-looking' slim person is actually me! On the whole, I like what I see whilst i'm fully dressed - it's just the 'naked me' i'm not so fond of!

I guess I haven't really given you any answers there as to what is best for you! I can't guarantee that you'll ever decide you've lost enough because you now love your body as it is, but then does anyone believe that they're perfect in every way?

Jo x


Gold Member
S: 21st10lb C: 21st0lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 42.2 Loss: 0st10lb(3.29%)
Hi, I've been very overweight all my adlut life and like you don't know what my ideal weight is. I'm aiming to be a comfortable size 14, started size 26, and see how I feel when I get there. Why don't you get to your current goal and then have some photos taken next to people you know. A few years ago I got down to an 18, thought I was actually quite slim until a photo next to friends showed me I was still very heavy!! But of course I wish I was there now.
Nobody is totally happy with the weight/shape that they are, no matter how good they may look to the rest of us. It is hard to know what the "right"weight is, but bear in mind that your body can redistribute fat after you finish dieting so the shape you are at target might not be how you end up. I would be tempted to go a little lower (assuming you are still happy to diet) because it is common to put on a few pounds once the steps are finished. That way your target can be your alarm point, where you know you should be losing a little again.

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