Size 10 screaming to get out!!

Ooo yeah happy birthday :D
 
Thanks guys. I am going to try and be honest here about what I ate. It's not pretty. I think it just shows me that I still have some sort of food problem....

Wednesday night, lovely, virtuous salmon and prawn salad.
Birthday morning, smoked salmon and scrambled egg on bagel - not so bad.
Birthday evening - and so it starts - Pizza Express garlic bread, shared meatball started, huge sausage pizza and shared pudding, washed down with lots of red wine and a Baileys Latte.
Rest of holibobs - *sigh* - prawn baguette and chips at pub, late night chips in pitta bread with cheese whilst under influence of red wine, cider and Jagerbombs!! Burger King Bacon Double Cheeseburger, mocha, sausage sandwich, Markhani chicken curry with naan, rice and saag aloo, more wine, a few cookies, fry-up, mixed meat antipasti and a linguine pesto rosso with chicken (always with the stupid chicken even when I'm off diet), ice-cream with Amaretto and espresso, Limoncello (yuk yuk), more salmon and scrambled egg on bagel topped off by a huge McD's (I genuinely didn't really want this but Boo stopped off for one and, erm, I ended up having one).

No sign of a fruit or veg there then........

Too scared to WI today, might leave it til Saturday morning. Too full to eat anything at the moment. Off to the prison now xx
 
Jubbles you never let me down when it comes to food porn lol....I'm now salivating like one of Pavlov's dogs!!!! Babe- it was your birthday so please give yourself a break. You are doing so well and just look at your foxy BMI...you'll get back on your track again. You had every right to celebrate. Well done indeed missy xxx
 
Thank guys :). It's so hard to get back on it though. I have yet another meal planned for tomorrow night and I ended up eating the buffet lunch at training on Wednesday (AND I'd taken a diet bar and everything so there wasn't any excuse). And I didn't just pick a couple of sandwiches and some veg - no - I had to have 5 little sandwiches and loads of sausage rolls and two chocolately square things and had about 3 slivers of celery to make it all look OK....! *sigh*
 
Oh dear jubbly, it is hard isn't it:( I am doing ok mot of the time, but others it is so easy to say I will jut have a little bit or one of those and then you realise you have stuffed loads of bad things in your mouth :(
Never mind we are only human, and sadly we have to eat to live, so just do the best you can, have a good weekend.

Gill
X

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Thank Gill. I don't want to be like the annoying skinny (ha!!) person who comes on here going "Oh my God I just ate a burger and my BMI is, like, 22.5 and it's SOOOO bad" but I really do struggle and am really unhappy with what I look like. I take all your comments on board but I really can't keep yo-yo-ing from one extreme to the other. If I can't pick out a couple of sandwiches and veg at a training event (which isn't even a "special occasion") and just be sensible then I will be bound to put it back on again and be on another diet again in a few months. I just really want to lose so much more weight but I'm losing motivation fast at this point. I have seen my pictures from my birthday weekend and they make me want to cry, I just think I look so awful. Also I still can't weigh myself and feel so gross since I ate all that stuff last weekend :( x
 
Jubbly said:
Thank Gill. I don't want to be like the annoying skinny (ha!!) person who comes on here going "Oh my God I just ate a burger and my BMI is, like, 22.5 and it's SOOOO bad" but I really do struggle and am really unhappy with what I look like. I take all your comments on board but I really can't keep yo-yo-ing from one extreme to the other. If I can't pick out a couple of sandwiches and veg at a training event (which isn't even a "special occasion") and just be sensible then I will be bound to put it back on again and be on another diet again in a few months. I just really want to lose so much more weight but I'm losing motivation fast at this point. I have seen my pictures from my birthday weekend and they make me want to cry, I just think I look so awful. Also I still can't weigh myself and feel so gross since I ate all that stuff last weekend :( x

Yeah I get that Jubs x how about trying something like SW that promotes eating veg etc. I think you can go to a meeting and get all the kit for £15 or find it on eBay x maybe something like that would help you get used to balancing your food better x
Or have you tried the beck diet solution book it deals with dieting from a cbt stance, might be helpful to you?
 
Yeah when I get paid I might invest in the book. SW I'm not sure about, I have some stuff that Boo's mum gave me on it as she lost loads on SW. I think I just need to get a grip and eat healthier.

As for the weight loss last week, I finally plucked up the courage to WI on Saturday, after being fairly good from Tuesday onwards, barring the unfortunate sandwich buffet. I was chuffed as I was only 1lb heavier than the week before at 9 stone 9lb depite massive blow out. So that proves I suppose that if I get back on it, I don't do too much damage. In fact I was so positive about it I predictably broke the diet again this weekend with (food porn alert) slow cooked pork belly and mash, apple fritters and black pudding with a raspberry creme brulee on Saturday, as planned, but then toast, sandwiches (with chicken and sweetcorn, hurrah!), Lucozade (much needed, went to bed at 6.30am on Sunday morning), an apple (hurrah!) and a Chinese (whoops!). BUT this was one and a half days off - NOT the 5 days I had off last time, so the damage shouldn't be too bad. My aim for the week is to try and have some salad leaves or veg with the chicken I'm eating - this will at least try and get me used to eating better and not just plates of meat!! :) xx
 
Oh it's no good. I'm on the verge of tears as I'm so hungry :(. After the Chinese on Sunday, I have had just shakes and bars since, with a bit of chicken last night (no veg, despite my promise, v naughty). But now everyone in the office is making stupid toasties and I feel sooooo miserable. I really want just a bowl of soup or a sandwich :(:(:(. And it really annoys me when everyone moans that my milkshakes smell gross in the office and make such a fuss about it - seriously, one women waves her hands around and says she feels sick - and they never even think how I feel when they're all eating delicious food :(. And also I would just go and get some chicken or ham so I didn't feel so unhappy but I can't even do that as I've gone over my overdraft.

Stupid diet....I'd have a bowl of soup for lunch (have some in freezer) but I'm just so miserable with my horrible flabby tummy. My ideal weight for my height according to something on the internet is 9 stone 2 and that's still another 7lb *big sigh*...
 
108 calories for half the carton - leek and potato - sod it I'm having it....(so gonna regret this but then on other hand can't possibly be in ketosis anyway as have eaten over last three weekends)....
 
OK that was the most hotly anticipated yet startingly disappointing bowl of soup ever known. Because I tried to defrost it in the microwave and was too impatient, I ended up pouring the most liquid bit in a bowl and having it but it was like leek flavoured water as all the potatoey goodness was still frozen. Soup's just not the same without bread either. It was all so disappointing, I shoved a packet of sweets in my mouth. Now the guilty conscience is bothering me. x
 
Oh I don't know. It's all just so silly, I can't keep coming off it on weekends, eating loads of rubbish, then trying to TS (plus chicken!!) in the week. I STS this week so haven't even lost anything for my efforts but some weeks I have had more naughties and still ended up losing a lb. I think I'm due on, I am SO bloated. I walked the dog last night and felt really shakey and faint, like I was going to collapse so I'm not sure this is doing me much good at the mo. Today I have predictably eaten an Exante bar, 5 chicken thighs (yes that's FIVE), 2 cups of tea and hardly any water (I was in meetings this morning). I'll probably have a shake for dinner. BUT I still want to lose those last few lbs. This was easier last year.....seemed more motivated then.....

Mother's Day lunch looming. The thing is that I'm sure mum would understand if I said that I didn't want to eat but I'm kinda looking forward to it. In the habit of weekend eating now.....x
 
OK so the weekend's eating started Friday when I realised there was no hope at all on training day when there were Danish pastries served with the morning coffee :eek: (they were only small though). Lunch was a big roll with ham and some fries, salad, and pieces of cake (again THREE pieces when one would have sufficed). Ended up having wine that night and some yorkshire pudding as it was broken by then :(. Needless to say, I'm not even going to tell you what I had over Saturday and Sunday, although at least I was on my feet all day Saturday at our party. No sign of TOTM again though think that may help.....soooooo blobby........bleurgh.........x
 
Noooooo....I only have 2 or 3 bars left. And about 10 milkshakes. Can't possibly have just milkshakes and no bars but have no money for more Exante. What am I gonna do? How am I gonna lose those last 5 lbs if I start eating?? Eeek.
 
Right, last bar gone this morning. Decided if I'm gonna break diet persistently I need to do it heathily so I had my milkshake with some fresh pineapple at lunch. Last night I DID have evil bread but it was grainy, oaty bread with some sardines. Oh, and two cold sausages. I resisted delicious cake in larder so that's something. No idea what WI will come up with this week as not really on any diet known to man at the mo. Will be gutted if I've gained :(. Feel fat. Lovely spring weather though, makes me want to go on nice long walks xx
 
Thanks lovely. I woke up really late this morning having had a dream that I weighed myself and was 11 stone!! Panicked like mad, went downstairs, almost needed a drum roll as I did it, and, DA-DA I was 9 stone 8lb (after it teetered around infuriatingly). So have lost that lb I put on over my birthday and back on way down (even if I did have some of that cake yesterday. What's with the cake all of a sudden? I never usually eat that much cake!!). AND I didn't even have any Exante at all yesterday. Pineapple for brekkies today, soup for lunch. Sorted. Hurrah!!

Boo finally taking me on Saturday for the Cafe Rouge dinner he promised me last year when I reached target - which I did in June I think!! Seriously, this man works on Boo time. It shouldn't really be allowed as I'm not 9 stone 4lb, which was the agreement, but nevermind ;) xx
 
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