The RD Chronicles - Bowing out for now

[Russiandoll]

Sounds like I could be an experiment in the making ladies!

I just checked out the Rosemary Conley website (I had great success on the plan once). Unfortunately, there are no classes in my town but there's one 6 miles away.

My sister has been talking about starting WW (I tried that once - not my cup of tea). I might suggest to her the RC class and see what she thinks. If she's interested, I might change tack altogether and try to complete my journey that way.

I used to really like RC because it wasn't 'fiddly' and had no gimmicks or catch-phrases (points, syns etc) but the thing I liked best was the exercise class that accompanied the meeting. Great fun and mega effective (I could crack walnuts with my thighs after a few months on RC ).

Watch this space ...

 

[georgiasmum]

Debbie, it is one hell of a journey this dieting lark isn't it! I think that you should take it one day at a time - this is my strategy at the moment! I nearly lost my husband in the week and thankfully he is now improving and yet I cried all the way home from the RUH on that first day because I hadn't taken my packs with me and had eaten during the day!!!! FFS. What is wrong with me???

Anyway, everyday is a clean sheet and you will find a strategy that works. Do you remember on DH Hayley had an excellent post on how to ease yourself back into ss starting with cd 1500 working all the way through the stages till you are back at ss comfortably?? I'm sure I saved it somewhere and will post it if you like.

I admit to feeling resentful about ss at times. I resent not being able to eat but I also resent my body for not responding to ww, sw (all that 'free food') and any other programme. I think its ok to acknowledge that feeling of resentment. I'll have a little moan and then dust myself off and truck onwards. This wonderful diary will do 2 things for you - focus your thoughts and energies but it will show you that you have a wonderful talent for words - you can write well Debbie! Isn't it amazing what opportunities open themselves up through difficult circumstances.

I wish you many happy thoughts, cheerful days and a meeting wilth will, sirius and all the dieting companions that the lovely DQ advocates! (She does get around a bit though...!!!!)

 

[cah-ching]

(((georgiasmum)))

 

[DQ]

I wish you many happy thoughts, cheerful days and a meeting wilth will, sirius and all the dieting companions that the lovely DQ advocates! (She does get around a bit though...!!!!)

Me?!!

You are so so right. Acknowledging that feeling of resentment has brought me one step closer to accepting it and moving forward. You can do this Debbie

 

[Russiandoll]

Well, I've taken the first few tentative steps on my new path. I emailed my lovely CDC to tell her what I was doing and thanking her for her support during the first part of my journey: Cambridge 'broke the back' of my weight problem and I feel able to deal with what's left at a slower pace - It gave me the kick-start and fast results I so badly needed in the beginning but now it's time for me to learn some long term control and the meaning of the word 'moderation'.

I went shopping and stocked up on some low GI foods ... porrige oats, rice cakes in various flavours, cottage cheese, tuna, chicken etc. And lastly, I telephoned the Rosemary Conley instructor and had a chat about starting this Thursday. So I'm all geared up to take a gentle stroll along the remaining part of my journey.

I weighed myself this morning and, as I suspected, I gained loads over Christmas. Problem is, MY Christmas started as soon as I told my CDC I was taking a break on Dec 4th! At that time, I was 12st 7lb and this morning I was 13st 13lb ... a 20lb gain - ouch!

Admittedly, half a stone of that will be glycogen but that still leaves almost a stone of fat. That's 45,000 EXTRA calories I consumed in a month. Quite shocking really but goes to show what can happen when you get into a starve/binge/starve cycle. I ate more than I'd ever eaten before on any previous Christmas and I can only put that down to the fact I knew I'd be SSing again in January and with total abstinence staring me in the face, I ate anything and everything whilst I had the chance.It was the feast before the famine.

So, now that I've publicly confessed the extent of the problem, all that remains is to take a deep breath and see what I can do about it using the RC method. I think I'm the only person on Minimins who will be on RC (unless anyone knows better) so it should be an interesting experiment.

 

[georgiasmum]

Onwards Deb. The future is brightand you have accomplished so much. You will succeed.

 

[IreneH]

Lots of love to you Debbie. So pleased to see this thread
Irene xx

 

[mindless]

hey Debbie - good luck with the Rosemary Conely approach.

Always have wondered how difficult it must be to swap horses, mid race. CD got you a long way and the break from Dec 4th is quite long and with our lovely excessive enjoyment of Xmas, a stone in weight (ie not counting the glycogen) is not so surprising (1500 cals per day if you look at it that way rather than 45,000 cals total)

reckon you may still need the food control that CD gave you - I worked my ass off in the gym last year and because I didn't sort out the 'food control' issue - after a while, all I did was convince myself that because I was doing more exercise, I could eat a bit more - therefore lost weight (4 st) slowly went back on.

Sorry - tell me to sod off if you want, you have done brilliantly to date and I sincerely hope that you can make it for the rest.

 

[Barb]

Debbie, I think you are right.Now is the time to sort out your relationship with food once and for all. The all or nothing approach of CD has worked in your favour for a long time but from your description of eating over Christmas it has not got rid of your original probs. I am the same, as soon as I have decided to get on with a diet I promptly eat all the bad stuff quick, while I still can. It is so silly. Yet give myself permission to do it softly softly and it works. I have to write everything down, otherwise I lose track but other than that I feel organised and pleased with myself. Now thata you are so much lighter and moving about so much more there is no reason why you should not lose weight very effectively with the RC plan and at the same time build in good permanent eating habits that will help you stay slim. I look forward to hearing your journey as you start your last leg!

Good luck, lots of love, Barb xx

 

[Russiandoll]

Thanks for the feedback peeps.

Mindless - I know just what you mean about the food control thing and I have to confess that I'm pretty nervous about the switch of plans - it's a bit like the first time you walk again after a leg injury: it's done very tentatively!

However, although I'm a GREAT fan of VLCDs (I could never have come this far without CD), they only work if you do them properly. All my messing about over the last three months means that I've not progressed at all ... in fact I'm almost the same weight as I was when I joined Uni in September. Now, on the face of it that looks like I've maintained which seems OK. But in actual fact, I've swung dramatically up and down in 18lb sweeps gaining and losing this amount in two week periods over and over again. Not so good.

Every time I lose control and gain a stone, I find solace in the fact I can lose it again quickly by SSing and this thought seems to sanction my binges: This obviously isn't a good state of mind to be in.

I know I need some sort of monitoring: I can't rely on myself to do this alone - that much I can freely admit (and hence going along to a class and not freelancing). But I think it's time I begin to nurture the concept of 'levels' of control - that I can have 'some' ... it doesn't have to be all or nothing. I'm afraid moderation is not a word that has featured high in my vocabulary!

It's scary after the security of CD - of not having to think for myself. I've failed so many times on conventional diets - can I really do it this time? At the moment I'm feeling like a kid trying to ride a bike without stableisers for the first time. CD has been running alongside holding the saddle and not allowing me to fall .... now I'm asking it to let me go. I may wobble, I may find it scary and I might not even like it at first and want to go back but what I'm hoping is that with perseverance and a bit of confidence in myself, eventually I'll be bowling along and find I'm actually enjoying the ride!

Quote for today:

To reach a port we must sail, sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it. But we must not drift or lie at anchor.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes​

 

[Russiandoll]

Well, it's the start of a new week and only four days to go before I start Rosemary Conley. In the meantime, I'm trying to eat healthily, keep my carbs down and drink plenty of water.

The downside of that is likely to be that I won't get the familiar 'WOW' first week weigh-in result because I'm already technically dieting but I'm not going to apply any of my famous 'twisted logic' and stuff my face just so I can have a good weigh-in the following week!

So today, I had 2 tbsp porrige with four prunes for breakfast and rice cakes with cottage cheese and some mixed seeds with yoghurt to follow for lunch.

I weighed myself this morning and the scales are still at 13st 13lb having not budged an ounce since I weighed myself on Friday despite a weekend of healthy eating. Here's where I have to take a deep breath and not press the panic button. I'm so used to seeing super-fast results on Cambridge that I'm finding it hard to be patient and give my body a chance to adjust after the mega-foodfest over Christmas. So I'll carry on with my plan - go to RC on Thursday and see what happens. I should at least give this new plan a fair crack to see how it goes.

I went into town earlier because I need a shirt for an interview on Thursday afternoon. I only have T-shirts and that's just not suitable 'interview wear'. I've had to resort to buying stuff in a size 20 because of the extra stone I put on which depressed me no-end! It's also a bit annoying because I'm obviously hoping to lose weight which means I won't get much wear out of the three new tops I bought.

The interview I'm going to is at a Fort near me in the role of Education Facilitator. Basically, it's showing school parties around and setting up work-shops teaching them about the history of the fort. As I'm doing public history as a part of my degree, it would be very complimentary to my course and it's for only one day a week and so would fit in brilliantly with Uni. It would also give me the opportunity to gain some experience in the Heritage Industry which is where I think I'd like to work once I graduate. So fingers crossed.

The shirt I bought is a bold red one ... a colour I never normally wear but I thought 'Hey - go for it ... at least they'll remember you!'

Right - off for some more water

 

[pandora]

good for you Debbie, whats wrong with a bit of colour?
i've never subscribed to the " fat so wear black" theory, not saying i don't wear it, but plenty of red, brown, cream, turquoise etc in my wardrobe !!

 

[Ajax]

Good luck Debbie with RC. I am looking forward to seeing how well you do. Also Very good luck for your Interview on thurs, knock em dead! You will look stunning in red.

Don't forget to let us know how you get on!

 

[Barb]

Debbie, that job has your name all over it - it has to be yours, fingers crossed for you. Size 20, so what, what wouldn't you have given to be buying that size a while ago? And the good thing with shirts is if they are a bit loose they look great open over a t shirt. There encouragement and clothing advice - can't be bad!
Try not to worry about the scales too much either, if you are moving more and eating less YOU WILL LOSE WEIGHT, it is that simple. You know it's not gonna be the mega amounts of CD but you are prepared for that, so (God I hope I am listening to this) stay calm, eat healthily and the results will follow.

Lots of love Barb xx

 

[Eclipse]

Hi Debbie

I too have been thinking about doing RC for mainly the same reasons. Yo-yoing, doing SS then back to normal, then back on SS and messing around. Want to lose a few pounds, tone up and learn a different way of eating.

We actually have a class down this way, which I was very surprised about.

Have you checked on the RC website, as there is a voucher there for free registration, no need to pay the £10, just the class fee.

Might pick your brains at the Portsmouth meet, or if you seem to be getting on well with it from your posts, I might sign up with them the day before the meet, as the voucher expires on 31.1.07.

 

[Russiandoll]

You're a star Cheryl! I was wondering if they would have a New Year offer and a £10 saving is just what I need at this time of year!

I did RC before back in 2002 when I was 21st 12lb. I did pretty well on it but it did take the best part of two years to get down to 15st 2lb whereupon I experienced a six week plateau, and with Christmas looming, I lost heart and threw the towel in (fool!).

Over the next two years I regained four stones, signing up for CD on March 24th 2006 weighing 18st 13lb. I think I gave up back in 04 because, although I'd already lost 6 stone I still had another 5 to go and the thought of another two years of dieting just depressed me (especially as the scales hadn't moved for six weeks). With hindsight, I know I should have just carried on.

Anyway, I know it's a plan that works. The exercise is great and after a few weeks you really feel the benefit. I just hope I don't find the long journey every week too much of a bind.

 

[Russiandoll]

I weighed myself this morning and the scales are still at 13st 13lb having not budged an ounce since I weighed myself on Friday despite a weekend of healthy eating. Here's where I have to take a deep breath and not press the panic button.

Well, this morning I weighed myself (yes, I'm getting obssessed by the scales again) and I've gained a pound.
Now this is where I DO very much press the panic button.
I haven't eaten chocolate, bread, potatoes, pasta, rice, cakes, biscuits or ANYTHING unhealthy since Jan 2nd. Talk about sinking heart when I saw that this morning.

I can't tell you how my mind has swung dramatically to and fro over the past few weeks. It all started when I decided to take a break from CD at the beginning of December with the full intention of returning to SSing in January (believing that the break would rejuvinate me and kick start my enthusiasm for abstinence). Instead, I found I had lost all interest in the shakes and especially the soups. I almost gagged at the thought of another soup.

So I thought perhaps I needed a whole change of tack. After all, with only 4 stone left to lose (an amount a LOT of people have to lose) why not do it conventionally? A slower, more considered route, adopting healthy eating habits blah, blah, bloody blah.

I did my best to think positively, to try and BELIEVE I could do it this way. LOTS of people lose weight successfully this way - right? But deep down, this nagging little voice was whispering ... yes, lots of people DO lose weight that way - but not you.

Yesterday, having to buy tops a size bigger dealt me a blow that started the cracks in my resolve to go the slow route. Today's encounter with the scales just about obliterated any confidence I had left in my ability to lose weight by any means other than CD.

So what do I do now? I've already emailed my CD and told her I'm jumping ship. I've already phoned the Rosemary Conley woman and said I'll be there on Thursday.

Several scenarios have already been played out in my mind - some feasible, some just plain crazy.

Scenario 1 - Stick with my plan: ignore the weight gain and go to RC on Thurs ... give it a chance.

Downside: What if it doesn't work? What if I waste a month finding out it doesn't work? Plus it's slow ... I know that's supposed to be good but I'm not good with slow.

Scenario 2 - Admit to myself I just can't do it without the security blanket of CD: ignore the boredom, the hunger ... regard the shakes as 'medicine' to get me where I want to be and crack on. In short- bite the bullet.

Downside: I've already told my CDC I can't get my head around SSing anymore - I feel an idiot. And what if I have another go and STILL can't do it? I'll feel an even bigger twit!

Scenario 3 - Buy CD supplies from my CDC (she wouldn't have a problem with this) AND go to Rosemary Conley.

Downside: What the hell am I thinking here?? Straddling the fence? And what about the cost? The RC woman would be highly impressed by the great losses I'd be experiencing but it would all be a sham as I'd be doing a VLCD ... I must be going nuts to have even considered this one!

I feel I'm losing my mind. I feel like a ship in a storm being tossed one way then another: I'm just a screwed up mess right now.

It's our 10th wedding anniversary on Feb 18th and we were going to organise a party but that was when I thought I'd be at goal. At 4st over goal, I don't want a party. I know the whole idea of celebrating an anniversary is just that - to celebrate the event and not how you look but I wanted the whole package .... celebrating 10 years together and do it at my slimmest and loveliest. I DIDN'T want to compromise yet again and have to find an outfit that disguised my fat - that wasn't in my plans at all.

Today I am miserable. Probably more miserable than I have been since starting CD last March. On balance at this precise moment, I'm leaning towards running back to the shelter of CD like the weak willed wimp that I so obviously am.

 

[pandora]

oh Deb i do feel for you,its awful being stuck in head limbo.
i don't really know what to advise you this time, cos like you've said b4 it's got to be right for your head.
do you think you relationship with food hasn't changed cos you havn't done maintainance or is it a demon you will allways have to cope with?
i know where you are coming from on the party issue, as it's my 40th this year & so don't want to still be fat by then (got till July). We are hoping to have a party & have visions of shopping & trying on loads of fab dresses & not knowing which to choose.
take time to think & decide, your CDC won't think any less of you if thats the route you choose to back down, & you havn't met the RC lady so no prob there in not doing that.
I hope you get in the right place hun, i'm here for any help i can give, just like you've been there for me
xx

 

[kazz]

Debbie, your not going mad!!

Firstly, dont worry about the lb gain....could be absolutely anything...

If you feel you want to go back to CD, dont worry about looking silly or anything like that, your not silly...losing weight is hard and you need to do wats right for you, not anyone else.

If your finding the idea of SSing hard you could try the higher cal programmes couldnt you? Like 790 or 1000 for maybe a week until you can get back to SSing

I have no idea wat to advise you really but I would defiantely not be doing a combination of RC and CD!! You seemed so geared up for RC though that maybe you should give it a go, even til the end of January and see how you are getting on with it, cos if you go back to CD and find it hard you will prob constantly be thinkin of wat u could be doing on RC

 

[KD]

Aww Debbie. You know, you can still put on weight eating healthily. I've done it myself on many occassion Which is why I chose to calorie count, but you know RC works for you and though the weight loss is likely to be slower, it'll be easier for you to keep to it with the amount of food you can eat.

Be excited again. You are going to get some control back and eat. You will see someone each week who'll behind you. This is a fresh start for you. Take it week by week.