The RD Chronicles - Bowing out for now

IreneH said:
Well done on the marks and hope your daughter enjoys her new home. How far away is it?
Irene xx
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Hi Irene
Amy has moved to Plymouth - way, way to the West of us (about a 3 hour journey). I know we'll stay in touch and visit each other but it's not the same as having her just 10 minutes up the road. We'll miss her and our son-in-law popping in (then invariably staying for dinner ...). Still, we have our children so that they can grow up and embark upon their own journeys in life don't we ....
 
Yes, but that doesn't mean they won't leave us with our hearts in pieces wishing for a time when we could sweep them up on our laps and cuddle them to sleep. I think the grown up children are far harder on the heart than the little ones were. However, they must and will grow up and leave us and so long as they come back, every now and again, I guess we must be satisfied.

Have a good sleep tonight Debbie and congratulations on your fantastic marks.

Love Barb xxxxxxxxxx
 
I've heard on the news that gale force winds are about to hit the South ... hope they're not as bad as the ones in 1987! I remember that night well - DD number three was only a few weeks old and I had to go out and get baby milk the next day: it was a scene of total devastation with huge trees toppled over, their roots turning the pavements into what looked like tarmac rollercoasters!

Anyway - those aren't the kinds of winds of change I was referring to in the thread. I got the induction date for my new job at the Fort today; I start on January 31st and have been told I need to wear 'sensible clothes and waterproof shoes' for a site tour. Sounds ominous - hope it doesn't involve anything to do with the moat!

I have this real feeling of impending change in my life. It's exciting but a bit scary too. At my heaviest, I just hid away in my house and never put my head above the parapet (metaphorically speaking) for fear of getting hit ... of failing. Now I'm taking on all sorts of challenges and whilst I like the feeling of achievement, it's forcing me to stand out, open to scrutiny and that makes me feel a bit vulnerable. However, it's a feeling I'm just going to have to get used to as I don't want to go back into the vacuum that used to be my pitiful existance.

Our big family 'truck' went in for its MOT today and thankfully passed with just £12.50 worth of work to be done on it (adjusting the headlight beam). That was £62.50 in total ... when did they increase the price of an MOT to £50?? :eek:

On the diet front, I was a bit slack today and ate some nuts and raisins. Slack because I ate them and slack because I said 'some' which is an undefined amount and so could add up to anything from 50 to 250 calories. Daft.
But I'm taking my own advice and moving on - what's done is done so no point in turning it into a huge guilt trip.

Other than that, I had my 2 packs and for dinner, a small chicken breast with green peppers and steamed broccolli / cubed carrots.

Tomorrow is another day - and it will be a nutless one :)
 
wow Debbie, i really admire you for all the changes you have/ are making in your life. is it all down to loosing weight or just the right time to do it.
i can't imagine my life is going to change that much when i get to goal, but hey that's just me !:rolleyes:
xx:)
 
Hi Debbie,

Well done on your results:)

A lot of changes happening just now.

The future looks bright.

Love Mini xxx
 
Up, Up and away

Russiandoll said:
........Anyway - those aren't the kinds of winds of change I was referring to in the thread..............

................I have this real feeling of impending change in my life. It's exciting but a bit scary too. At my heaviest, I just hid away in my house and never put my head above the parapet (metaphorically speaking) for fear of getting hit ... of failing. Now I'm taking on all sorts of challenges and whilst I like the feeling of achievement, it's forcing me to stand out, open to scrutiny and that makes me feel a bit vulnerable. However, it's a feeling I'm just going to have to get used to as I don't want to go back into the vacuum that used to be my pitiful existance................
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Debbie,

One of the most important things in life is to push outside of your 'comfort zone' to continue developing as a person (in a controlled manner of course). :)

I have to say though that 'comfort zone' sounds all warm and cuddly when in fact it is a description relating to 'what you know/normal routines/existence' - which can be bloody uncomfortable. (things such as what you have described or a failing marriage, or a dead end job, or living with Parents when a 30 year old - hint to children - get out before getting too comfortable) :eek:

You are doing this and moving away from 'hiding' which was the 'pitiful' existance that you were living is the most fantastic move out of a 'comfort zone' that you can imagine. The start of a new direction in life. :)

All I can say is - I want one of those feelings also :D
 
mindless said:
You are doing this and moving away from 'hiding' which was the 'pitiful' existance that you were living is the most fantastic move out of a 'comfort zone' that you can imagine. The start of a new direction in life. :)

All I can say is - I want one of those feelings also :D
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It's a strange sensation Mindless. A feeling of 'wanting to go for it' mixed with 'scared to go for it'!
I think that in the past I believed that it was better not to try rather than to try and fail ... that there was nothing worse than failure.

Where did I get that idea from? Surely everyone who has ever succeeded in life has experienced failure. It's overcoming failure that makes the success that follows more of an achievement - I can see that now.

Anyway, having the courage to change direction and take the first step out of that comfort zone is something we're all doing here. I believe that for most of us, losing weight means more than just buying smaller clothes ... it's also the breaking down of barriers that we hid behind for years.

After that profound piece of babbling, I thought I'd post a link to a picture of the Fort I'm going to be working in - considering the last job I had was stacking shelves in a catalogue returns shop, I still can't believe I'm moving into a whole new sphere.

Fort Brockhurst : Properties : Days Out & Events : English Heritage
 
Another day over and it's been a pretty mundane one. Well, for me it has anyway.

Hubby on the other hand had a close scrape with the grim reaper on his way home from work. He was crawling along in traffic on a country road when I called him on his mobile. He'd forgotten his hands free and was fumbling to attach it so a gap appeared in the traffic ahead of him.

He said that all of a sudden, the car sort of 'rocked' and went dark and when he looked up, he thought someone was playing a joke as all he could see were leaves and twigs. He got out of the car and people were running over towards him ....

there, on the road in front of the car was a huge tree and there were broken branches everywhere. The front of the car is all scratched and a bit bent in places but if he hadn't stopped to sort out the hands free and had been a few feet further forward then he'd have been flattened.

Looks like his guardian angel was on duty today :)
 
that was a close shave for him.
this weather is really foul at the moment isn't it, whilst i was driving home this morning there were wheelie bins & allsorts all over the roads & part of the high street has had to be shut as one of the buildings is unsafe !
xx:)
 
Hi Debbie - how are you and Steve after his close call? You must have both felt very shaken afterwards. It takes a few hours/days for it to sink in just what could have happened. So glad he is OK, just shows you though, you need to grab and enjoy every moment you can and make the most of everything because you just never know.

Love Barb xx
 
Things on the diet front have gone to rats. There's no other way to put it so I'm not mincing my words. I've been on the CD 1000 plan for just over a week now and things were fine at first but towards the end of the week, I found myself indulging by 'having a few' (mainly vodka shots and wine) and also succumbed to some edible 'treats' ... all in the name of hubby's birthday on Saturday of course. :rolleyes:

Now, this morning, I stepped on the scales to find that I'm back where I was at the start of the week. I'm seeing my CDC later today and I won't be getting weighed. I'm finding the whole thing too depressing. Practically a whole week of being saintly was trashed in a scarily short space of time. A result like this would actually be OK if I was maintaining ... be 'good' through the week and let my hair down at the weekend - I could cope with that. But it's not OK when you're trying to LOSE weight.

It's vital that I get back into 'the zone' and shift this final 4st. It's vital to me emotionally - the sense of failure I'll feel if I don't do this will be immense.
What's more, we've booked a long weekend away to Centre Parcs in Holland for the end of March and I want to 'tiptoe through the Tulips' not lumber through them! (yep - our 'dirty weekend' is now on)

There's been a lot of mental turmoil lately over what I should do, diet wise, and it's becoming increasingly obvious that if I want to get serious about losing weight, I'm going to have to drag myself kicking and screaming back to SSIng.

But like a childish brat - I don't want to.

However, the hard reality is that, if we want to lose weight, it means doing stuff we don't want to do. It means putting on the blinkers, getting your head down and ploughing onwards.

Technically, I could lose around two stones between now and March 30th if I start SSing today. That would take me down to the high 11s ... still a couple of stones away from goal but a whole lot better than where I am now.

That's it - I'm giving SSing another go!
 
I think sometimes we have to just remove food from the equation. I love SW, it works for me but this time i just couldnt control my intake so ive bitten the bullet and returned to CD. I think thats probably what you need to do too.
 
aaaw Deb it's not fair is it! but on the bright side you have done it before and you can do it again! I think ss is the way to go, a lot of people seem to struggle when they are on the final phases of the diet and working their way up the steps, but with still 4 stones to go until you reach your target I think ss is the way forward otherwise you are needlessly suffering the hunger associated with CD1000 and no lovely ketosis to protect you :( I have faith in you and just know if you can be single minded about it you will get back into the zone and get started on losing that last bit of weight!
At the moment the only thing that is keeping me going is my single mindness and the thought that if I hadn't messed about last year I would be 6 stones lighter now and only 2 stones from my target!!!!! It is sooo depressing to have that thought and really consider how my life would be totally different now if I hadn't buggered it up lol So now my single mindness is firmly set on the summer where hopefully I will be at that point with only 2 stones to go and well on my way to a new life!!!
I refuse to have even one more "fat" summer, or 1 more "fat" halloween or one more "fat" Christmas, so 2007 will be my year to succeed and I just know it will be your year too!!!!!
 
right Debbie, hubby's birthday is out of the way, r there any more excuses not to get back SSing ? No ? right get on with it then !
don't mean to be harsh but if you liken yourself to a rebllious, resentful brat then thats how you need to talk to yourself! if it was one of your daughters throwing a strop would you put up with it ? i guess not so don't put up with it from yourself.
look 4ward to seeing you on sat & if you think i've been out of order you can tell me were to get off :D , but its only cos i care hun:D
xx:)
 
Hi Debbie, have just posted back to you on my diary but thought I would call in here too!
I totally hear what Mrs T is saying and i am sure in many ways she is right but I am not at all convinced your head is in the right place to SS. Thing is your motivation is so different to what it was - you only have four stone to lose - which compared to what you did have is very little. I know I bang on a bit about the old cal counting but have you considered it. You can go on the 'how many calories an hour' website and work out exactly what you use a day and then tailor a plan round that. You are, I can tell, a person who enjoys organisation and a defined plan, this would do it for you. Yes, it is fiddly, especially to start with, but and it is a huge but (no, not a huge BUTT - cheeky), you really do get your head round the 'value' of foods and with the labelling in supermarkets now it is not so hard to work out cals anyway.

Just my twopenneth, for what it's worth. Thing is Debbie, I really think you should only do CD again at SS level if you are 100% sure you can stick to it - otherwise you will be beating yourself up all over again and I really dont' want you to do that.

Lots of love Barb xxx
 
Hey RD,

So sorry to hear that you 'slipped' at the weekend. I think some of the problem is the choice of grub when slipping - if its the carbs, back goes the glycogen PDQ (so I am led to believe) but hopefully that can be reversed.

I have to agree that if you are serious about tripping through the Tulips in March, SSing is probably the discipline you need - the last thing you want to hear now is food selection and portion CONTROL.

If you can do this, then the 2st will happen and then chocolate buttons can be back on the menu !!!

You've done it before, you know what you can achieve - more of the same - and JUST THINK - you now know what you can do and still maintain weight (I bet the weekend was fun - apart from the mental angst of being bad).

There are plenty more of thise where that came from AFTER you got where you want to go.

Whatever you choose to do, we're all behind you
 
pandora said:
right Debbie, hubby's birthday is out of the way, r there any more excuses not to get back SSing ? No ? right get on with it then !
don't mean to be harsh but if you liken yourself to a rebllious, resentful brat then thats how you need to talk to yourself! if it was one of your daughters throwing a strop would you put up with it ? i guess not so don't put up with it from yourself.
look 4ward to seeing you on sat & if you think i've been out of order you can tell me were to get off :D , but its only cos i care hun:D
xx:)
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Well, hubby's b/day IS out of the way ... it's my birthday next Friday (day before the meet) and then it's our 10th wedding anniversary on Feb 18th.

Those are the only two 'event's hurdles between now and March 30th. As for my birthday - whoopee doo: I can live without birthday cake (hopefully, there will be plenty more birthdays in years to come to have a slice of cake ...)

As for my anniversary - that's a bit more difficult as we had promised ourselves a celebration of some kind on our 10th anniversary because our actual wedding was a tiny affair (done on a budget of £200).

We've abandoned the party idea in favour of the trip to Holland but we were hoping to celebrate with something like a big family bowling night followed by a meal. Thinking rationally, the bowling is no problem and I suppose what I COULD do is to have a meal - just make it low carb. I'm sure one meal between now and the end of March isn't going to do too much damage.

I really feel I've got to give SSing one last big 'go' because it's the only way I've ever made meaningful progress in losing weight. It's fast - which is great - but more important than that, it suits me because the bottom line is that I'm just plain LAZY when it comes to dieting. The thought of weighing and counting stuff and keeping tabs is just such a hassle ... and to have to do all that only to find I've lost half a pound (as happened on many occasions) is the sure-fire way of getting me utterly pi**ed off with the whole thing.

I suppose the fact of the matter is that I just don't want to diet at all. But how many of us truly do? And that's the brat in me coming out ... I want to eat without consequence - eat whatever I want, when I want and as much as I want ... but that just ain't happening is it? It's about time I stopped thinking about what I WANT to do and get on with doing what I NEED to do.

So of all the diet plans that I don't want to do, why not do the one that gets results the quickest?
Then I can get on with the maintenance bit and loosen the reins a bit (as I did at the weekend).
 
hey debbie i'm with ya all the way.... you can do this and it is by far the quickest way and once on it... maybe even the easiest!!!

you have done so well and only have a little bit left to go... you will finish this journey i can feel it :D :D :D

love

Gen xxxxx
 
Snap, Debbie - I'm in exactly the same boat and am totally fed up with it all tbh!
Ho hum - it's just not getting any easier, is it?

I have no wise words, I'm afraid, otherwise I'd be saying them to myself too!

Just wanted to let you know you're not alone!!!!
 
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