The Road Less Travelled

Sophie has given me 15 years of unconditional love and occasional indifference and today I took her to the vets and now she is no more. My poor little Sophie has gone, and I feel like a traitor to her. Ive let her down. I cant tell you how awful it was to witness her last breath. I wish I hadnt done it, I cant stop crying for my sweet little girl. All she did was love me, and I let her go.

My other 2 cats, Rose and Fats know something has happened and they wont leave my side tonight. Rose is my soul mate, she is me in cat form and was Sophies litter sister. Im crying as much for the thought that I could lose her too, as well as for Sophie.

They were 12 weeks old when I brought them home, offspring of a champion Persian and the local stray tom. Beautiful beautiful soft bundles of fur, soft long coats from mum, tabby stripes from dad. When I first set eyes on them they were the most gorgeous little things I had ever seen. I hadnt set out to get 2 kittens, but they were the last 2 from the litter and there was no way I could part them till now.

Rob is broken hearted too, as Sophie was his cat really, she had a strong bond with him. Even yesterday, even though she was blind, she knew he was there and stretched out her paw to touch him. Its an image that will stay with me.
 
Oh Lynn, I'm so sorry big hugs! Youve done it out of love and care for her, don't feel bad, the easiest thing in the world would have been to let her hang on as long as possible. But animals can't tell you how they are feeling and losing her sight must have been really frightening for her. I think you've done the right thing Lynn, you put her before yourself. Poor Rob too... It's so sad to lose a per that's been with you for a long time. Xxxxxxxx
 
:grouphugg:

I agree with Healthy, i think you've done the right thing.

I really feel for you and your family as i know how heartbreaking it is to say goodbye to family pets.
 
Hi Lynn,

I do know how you feel and,believe me, Sophie is grateful that you had the strength, courage and selflessness to let her go. It was a kindness.

Think back on the kitten she once was, fine healthy adult dog became and ask yourself: did she deserve to live the way she was living?

She had a very good life with you and Rob -- and the fact that the two of you are having such a difficult time with her passing shows how blessed she was.

I volunteer from time to time at a local shelter and I have seen the poor "pets" that have not had one microbe of what your beloved pet has had. On the behalf of Sophie, I want to thank you and Ron for the wonderful life she has had and all the years of love that were accepted and reciprocated.

It is okay to be sad, miss her, etc. but please remind yourself that she had gotten old, ill, and her quality of life was not going to improve.

You were kind and selfless -- it would have been so much easier for you to "keep her going", but you put her needs first.

MM
 
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I am having a tough time at the moment, feel very depressed after losing Sophie. I cry a lot, and cant get that final journey out of my head. I know I did the right thing, but feel horrible with guilt. I miss her so much, she was always curled up on my desk and now theres an empty space there. I just ache with the loss of her. I found this poem, and it does sum up my little furry purry girl.

Your favorite place is vacant now...
No eager purrs to greet me.
No softly padded paws to run
Ecstatically to meet me.
No coaxing rubs, no plaintive cry
Will say it's time for feeding.
I've put away your bowl, and all
The things you won't be needing;
But I will miss you little friend,
For I could never measure
The happiness you brought me,
The comfort and the pleasure.
And since God put you here to share
In earthly joy and sorrow;
I'm sure there'll be a place for you
In Heaven's bright tomorrow...
 
Oh Lynn, I'm so sorry to hear you so down. It's heartbreaking for you at the moment and I was choked reading the poem too. But it will get easier, you have absolutely no reason to feel guilty, you have Bern the best mum to her and given her a beautiful life. Big hugs my lovely, I'm thinking about you and have prayed for Sophie to have a wonderful time up there in fluffy pussy cat heaven.

Take care of yourself Lynn xxxxxx
 
Hi Lynn,

I am so sorry that you struggling with this. The cat I had to "let go of" was a Persian also. He was black with green eyes and the love of my life. When I got pregnant with our first child and people asked me, "What will you do if the baby is allergic to cats." I replied, "Healthy white male child... I'll find a home." And, I was only half kidding.

It will get easier, and know that you did your beloved Sophie a kindess.

My Cyrus had kidney problems and he was is pain. I had him on medication (including pain pills), but he would go through horrible bouts of infections, etc. His quality of life of not good, and when we got assigned to England and knew we'd have to quarantine him for 6 months (at that time) -- we knew he would never survive it, if he survived the trip over from New York.
I went to work one day -- not knowing that it was "the day" and came home to find out Cyrus was gone. It has been over 16 years and I still miss him, but it hurts a lot less.

Now and then, I think about things like how he would lay in window pretty much invisible because of his colouring and the neighbour's dog would bark and bark and bark at our house. My neighbour finally came over to apologise because she had no idea why Jet was lunging and barking at our house. I had to walk her around to window and indicate the cat -- just laying there taunting/ignoring the insane dog. She never spotted the cat! She thought her dog was mad!

The cat used to lay on the edge of the bath when I bathed, and then would jump in to the tub with me. I would get out and he would walk back and forth, up and down the tub letting the water flow through his long hair. He was the only cat I ever knew who LOVED water.

Try to think on the lovely times you have had with your Sophie, and not the loss.

MM
 
Oh hun, I haven't been posting here lately, but I'm still a follower...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm a huge animal lover and for me, losing a pet is losing a family member. Animals love us unconditionally, they don't care if we are short or tall, thin or fat, cute or ugly, dislikable or nice,... they accept us even when we're angry, they come to us when we're sad and try to cheer us up... Animals are genuine and have such good hearts, so I feel your pain :(

I just want to tell you did the right thing. She was suffering and now she's in a better place, in peace.

She did a great job on earth, she brought you happiness and love and she was loved back. She did a great job and you too for taking care of her so well.

hugs
 
Im finishing Feb where I started at 10.10. Its a success as Ive stayed the same, and ive had a few meals out in the past month with my birthday, and going away for 2 weekends, so maintenance is working, but I would have liked to have been 2 or 3lbs down for the month. Nevermind, maybe March will give me the result. Its 4 months till I go on holiday and I think I really need to be averaging 10st before I go to allow for any damage thats going to occur then.

My niece Ester (one of my bro Gingers daughters) is getting married 30th April, so thats a nice family occasion to look forward to..............or maybe not lol. If anyone watched My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding recently, a lot was made of wedding venues cancelling at the last moment. But no explanation was given why this happens to gypsy weddings, it was kind of left hanging in the air and suggested some sort of racist attitude. Thats rubbish of course, there is a very good reason why venues cancel when they find out, they actually like to have their property left in one piece after the event.

Still, Ive been to enough of these events to know the signs, and know when its time to leave lol.
 
Hi Lynn,

I love that Show (My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding)... what fun those things must be to attend.

I am glad that you have a good outlook towards working on your weight and managing it. I find your long-term success inspirational.

I was hoping to be at goal and successfully maintaining before I go to the States, but it may not happen. I'll do the best I can between now and then, and try to control/limit any weight gain whilst I'm there, and the minute I back in the UK start back on CD if need be.

How is work going? Is your SIL doing okay?

Cold and miserable in Cambridge today. Brrrrr.

MM
 
Lynn,

Hope youre feeling a bit brighter, have been thinking about you...

Brilliant maintainance !!!! Youre such an inspiration... it shows it really can be done and you can still go out and enjoy yourself. I love that programme too and know people that would pay to be at that kind of event. Sounds like youll have lots of fun and hope for your sake it doesnt get too out of hand!!!

xxx
 
My weight has been at 10.7 for a few days now so im happy with that, but i dont deserve it. I was good all day Thursday, but was really tired when i got home, so went to bed for a sleep. I woke at 6.30pm hungry and shaky but had to cook for cliff as he was home. I felt really resentful about having to cook for him lol, i think i was just feeling really tired and needed to eat. So he said we should go out. We went to the local pub and my dinner was ok, chicken breast in a BBQ sauce with a bit of mash and salad. But then i decided i really wanted something sweet as well, so we shared a chocolate brownie with ice cream. Still, so far so good, but then i broke my biggest rule of 'once back through my front door'. I couldnt stop eating, ate a crunchie bar, a piece of cake, a bread roll with cheese and butter, some walnuts and dates. It was mad lol. It was a binge without doubt. Im still really shocked at why i let go so badly. Weight didnt go up though, which was a relief so I got off lightly.

Tonight Cliff wants to get chinese, he really enjoys his beef curry and chips, so im going to break another rule about no chinese takeaway lol, but im just going to have plain rice and a curry sauce. Ive only eaten fruit today so it will be ok.

Cliff finally has his retirement date, he will be leaving work 31st March. After months and months of not knowing, its finally here. We have decided to give up the Nirvana membership, as its nearly £200 a month for us both, but we have enjoyed our trips there, but dont go often enough to justify the cost.

I feel as though my life is about to turn around big time, and not sure whats in store for us. Im pretty convinced that we should sell the house and downsize, but when i look at estate agents even small properties seem really expensive. Ive no idea what we would get for our house, its just an average 4 bed detached but the village we live in is pretty well sought after with not much coming up for sale. The house opposite us sold after just 1 week on the market a year ago when things were really bad with selling, so I dont think we will have any issues selling, but I really dont know where I want to move to. A few months ago, we thought that renting our house out on a room basis would be a good option as Rob could stay here, and we could rent somewhere else, but now i think thats just a lot of faffing around, I want to get settled, i think. Oh i dont know, maybe in April I will have a clearer idea of what I want to do, Cliff will just go along with it anyway haha.

Im undecided about everything in my life right now, sell or rent or stay here, stay at work or give up, lose more weight or stay the same, should i eat curry or salad................its all decisions. Best bet is to put me in an old peoples home and let someone else make the decisions for me.
 
Hi Lynn,

Seriously -- Old folks' home? I know you were a child bride. Do not let your husband's retirement make you feel old. Are you planning to keep on working? Maybe Cliff will want to (after a break) do something else for a time. What is he thinking?

You could always talk to estate agents and see what the house the might be worth, and then consider your options with what you would will have to reinvest.

Also, your adult son should not be your big concern. Just let him know soon that you might be selling up and moving on, and he can make plans.

Anyway, you sound as if you doing well -- and life is going okay. I am glad to hear it. I think your weight is very good for someone your height (according to your posted stats), I do not know if you would want to be much thinner.

I am sticking okay to the CD diet and have made some real progress on incorporating exercise into my fitness plan.

I hope the rest of your weekend goes well -- and stay binge free. ;)

MM
 
Was 10.4 this morning, so have lost 6lb since start of March. Looking good to hit 10st by end of March now.
I havnt had an updated pic of me since the one i have on my profile which was back in oct/now when i hit my first target of 11.10. Since then ive dropped 2 sizes and over 1 and half stone, so took a quick snap this morning to post.
10st4.jpg
 
OMG Lynn you look so slim. You look just perfect the way you are :) You have had such an amazing journey and are doing brilliantly at maintaining yout weight, inspirational :)
 
OH MY GOD, Lynn you look so much younger. And you're beautiful the way you're now, don't lose any other pound, you're just great now :)
Look at your legs woman, you are much better than most women half of your age ;)

xx
 
Hi Lynn,

You look amazing -- such long slim lines. You lose any more your bmi will be to low for you to model in Milan! ;)

MM
 
My sister Lita is a grandma at last! Her daughter Becky gave birth to twins on friday, a boy and a girl, both weighing almost 6lbs each so a really good size for twins and at 38 weeks as well. Babies are doing well although the boy had some breathing issues initially. I might go and see them today if she is still in hospital.

Lita came round to us for a meal on Saturday evening, so I made mega carb food! Paella and a pavlova, it was delicious but my weight is back up to 10.7 today, still im actually quite pleased about that. Have been buying holiday clothes already! Have raided Matalan for swimsuits t shirts shorts and sandals, and a pretty longish summer dress, also tried some bras on in M&S, im not sure what size I am, it seems that the 34E and 36DD both fit depending on the style.

Ive knitted myself a short chunky jacket/cardigan thing! I havnt knitted for about 20 years as I had really bad psoriasis on my hands and wrists and knitting just irritated it too much, but now its practically gone im back into knitting again. Its damn expensive though, the jacket cost £40 for the yarn, pattern and kneedles, and I now want to make a long line aran jacket that will cost £56 for the yarn alone. Im not overly happy with the border on the one ive just done though, so I might unpick some of it and redo it and then get the yarn for the next one.

I used to have a Kenwood Chef some years ago, and really miss it, so Ive been scouring Ebay for a bargain, but they go for a lot of money. Mostly its the model 901 that sells on ebay but these can be 20 years old or more, and they are going for up to £150 or more. I can get a brand new one for £220 with a much better motor than the old 901. Not so long ago, Amazon had an offer on the newer KMC510 1000w chef at £148, which was a steal but I missed the offer. Anyway, Cliff and I are going to the Ideal Home exhibition on Saturday so Ill have a look round there to see if there are any Kenwood Chef bargains to be had. Although I have to be honest, I cant say why im so desperate to get a large food mixer when I dont cook much, and maybe having one will just tempt me to make food I shouldnt be eating!
 
Hi Lynn :)

Two new family members, family parties will become noisier with the kids, hehe.

Congrats for maintaining weight so well. Have you been counting calories? I know it isn't easy to maintain, actually I believe (from my own experience) that we have to pay attention to our eating, no matter if we're losing or maintaining.

x
 
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