Unthoughtful people!

Dear 'Manager'

I will make this simple for you...

We are still down two bodies due to sickness and we are training a new temporary member of staff.
For the last two days...
I have been sitting in the attendance officer's chair.
I have been logged onto the attendance officer's programme.
I have been referring to the attendance officer's instructions.
All the notes and absence slips on the attendance officer's desk over the last two days have been in my writing.
I have been sending the texts to non attendee's parents/carers.
I have been answering calls on the attendance officer's phone.

Therefore it does not seem a giant leap of understanding to figure it out that I have been doing the attendance officer's job!

That is why when you gave me that other job to do I said I would not be able to do it until after lunch when I had completed the attendance tasks, and that is why I gave you a rather strained and incredulous look when you said 'Oh, you're doing that are you, I didn't know,' especially considering:

a) All of the above.
b) You have walked past and seen me there about eight times over the last two days.
c) How the **** did you think it was getting done otherwise? I know Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy aren't real. Have I missed the Attendance Fairies?

I think you are losing the plot. Me, I don't get paid enough to ever have known what the plot was! :rolleyes:
 
Dear whimsical fates,

Please stop tugging at the strings of my life. It's already frayed enough so I don't need it to unravel anymore.
You decided to throw a spanner into the inner workings of my satellite box so now I've got nothing to watch on an evening to relax. Thanks.

Sent from my iPod touch using MiniMins
 
Dear OH,

Stop behaving like a stroppy child. Yes, Subway were out of sausages, but there was no need to rant and swear about it for 10 minutes. And yes, Greggs didn't have the exact hot baguette in that you wanted, but there was no need to flounce out the store, moaning. And I'm sorry that nowhere had the trainers that you wanted. I know you want colourful trainers, but as you are a size 11, it seems it ain't happening. So either get a pair that you semi like, or stop winging about it. You behaved like a total child yesterday, and drove me bonkers. I go out of my way to try and get what it is you are after, and the like, and all you do is moan and throw strops. And yes, I will get grumpy with you if I like. After driving a grand total of 100 miles in a day with a splitting headache, I wasn't exactly feeling happy. Upon asking what you want for tea, your reply was "don't think I'll bother", even though I know for a fact you were hungry. So yes, I will snap back with "fine, I'll sort myself out then".

Yours,
your still ticked off girlfriend who you are going to get an earful from upon your return, and who, quite simply, isn't doing it again!
 
Dear cyclists,

If you insist on riding on the road when it is pitch black at night please DO NOT do this wearing dark clothing with no lights or reflectors.... Do you have a death wish?? If I hit you, I WILL kill you and it'll be my fault and not yours for being completely irresponsible!!!

Ps. RED LIGHTS MEAN STOP!!!

Yours,

Annoyed car driver.
 
Dear Bf,
I get it. You bought an iPad 2. I'm sure it is the most amazing and wonderful thing you've ever bought but can I maybe have a conversation with you in the next 3 days or are you going to be stuck to that for the whole weekend?

Oh and by the way, we're supposed to be saving for a deposit and furnishings for our first house. Can you really justify £600 for something that's just "cool"? And while I'm here, that could have bought me a really nice diamond so no, I'm not elated at your purchase and oops, I might have just hidden the charger!

P.s. It's your turn to make the tea.
 
I have only just found this thread and I haven't laughed so much for ages. I hope you don't mind but I've copied the idea for the lipotrim forum.

You have really made me laugh today.
 
Dear Admiral Taverns...
Please refrain from selling pubs from under your tenants, when they have a good buisness going... Not only have you lost us for your rival, customers have defected to follow us... Well done in this economic chaos... Hope the seagull of life continues to s*** on your heads...

Sent from my HTC Wildfire using MiniMins
 
Dear bus driver

why did u feel the need to literally scream at someone boarding the bus today? so loudly, in fact, that even i could hear you despite having my earphones in and music on at MAX VOLUME

also, you are meant to SLOWWWW DOWN when you want to go around a corner

you stupid passive-aggressive idiot

truly yours,

tempted-to-report-you
 
Dear motorway drivers,
you see those lines in the road? Well you're supposed to drive between them. When you want to change lanes 1) Indicate 2) make sure the next lane is clear 3) check your speed is fast enough 4)THEN MOVE!
Please don't drift, indicate, move, gradually increase your speed, making everyone behind you brake hard!
 
Dear studpid lorry driver
Next time you are driving, please don't shed your load of christmas trees all over the road so that the poloice have to close it and I end up on a 90 minute detour.

Yours
Fed up driver
 
Dear referee's
When you are reffing please can you keep the eye on the ball and the players and when someone is kicking a player(who this week happened to mostly be my son) for most of the match don't take no notice until nearly the end when the other player/s have enough and respond and then send them off!!!
If you do not show the lads fairness they are not going to be motivated to play fairly!!! :mad:
 
Dear OH,

Do not go into the kitchen to make a brew (and not offer me one btw) and then say "no it's too far" when I ask you to fill the kettle (before you've switched it on) so I can make myself one.

And yes that mugshot I just had was one of "yours" but that's what you get for being too lazy to walk two steps further to fill the kettle so nar na nar nar nar :p

Your fiancee x

(bit childish nicking the mugshot but hey ho lol) x

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
 
When your OH complains that there is to much washing ( which I washed and dried) and asks where it has all come from? Mmhhh while I was sorting it out most of it was yours, and when I folded it it was still mostly yours.

Sent from my iPad using MiniMins
 
Dear Travelodge people

It is NOT acceptable to only have one towel in a double room, nor is it ok to not put enough milk or teabags in the room and then when we ask for some just give us teabags because you've run out of milk. Actually, I can handle that, it cant be helped that there is no milk I suppose. But what I CANT handle is having NO hot water in the room for the past three hours and when we tell you about it you just tell us that you'll ring your manager then dont even let us know whats happening. Strongly worded email winging its way to you on Tuesday morning when I get home.

Yours
Still waiting for a shower and a cup of tea......

Sent from my GT-S5830 using MiniMins
 
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