Unthoughtful people!

[Shirleen]

We have a 48 year old lady who chooses to only wear pink and purple because they are her favourite colourd, the only things she doesn't mind not being pink or purple is her underwear and trousers but all tops, dresses, skirts, coats, bedding you name it is pink and purple and she picked it all!

See a Pink top with a black/navy/grey bottoms is fine and also adult. I'm not kidding she was wearing childs pink trousers, coat, and barbie pink Trainers!
Even within the choices some supervision is needed. One guy I worked with would 'choose' to only eat jelly babies! So that choice needs to be removed to give him a choice of more suitable foods.
Don't even get me started on the bobbles and hairclips. One girl I see is 21 and although her clothes are ok her hair is dressed in pigtails, kiddies hair bobbles etc.
Another man wear jogging bottoms all the time, they don't even fit well!
My guy had old fogey clothes when I first started working with him, he's got some lovely stuff now and he's often complimented on his clothes (which goes completely over his head bless him), he chooses NOT to choose which is fine! The only choices he will make is cakes (he gets a cake to have when we finish shopping) he always chooses Chocolate Éclairs, always! and he prefers fizzy drinks over still (he has carbonated water). However he will only drink tea if I make it, because I don't cool it with milk, he has it strong with a splash of milk cooled with cold water, he loves it. In the morning he has coffee (he likes those yucky latte/cappuccino/Mocha sachets) and a biscuit or a banana for elevenses but in the afternoon we have tea and cake (well he does we don't share his food, the company pay for tea and coffee though), not everyday obviously, if I do a long day we have afternoon tea, and if I do a morning we have elevenses.

 

[interested92]

my mum has tea like that.

 

[Shirleen]

my mum has tea like that.

Your mum is a very discerning woman! I don't know why SW put so much milk in tea...they wouldn't drink it like that!

 

[MissSlinky2011]

I do my tea is half a cup of milk lol!

 

[GothGoddess]

Thanks all xxxxx

It really means a lot.

A restraining order, at the moment, isn't an option. Technically he hasn't broken the law, coming to me like that. I didn't report him to the police after he did what he did, partly because I didn't want my family knowing (which they still don't know) and partly because I knew that even with physical evidence, getting a guilty verdict was near-on impossible.

But at least security are aware of him now- so they can keep an eye out.

I did speak to a colleague- she was finishing just after the incident with him. So I closed the till off and took 5, went outside and had a chat with her, I did feel better. She had some understanding, her niece has been through something similar and apparently another colleague (who has left now) went through the same, and security were really good to her.

Thank god there are some good eggs at work, there are some genuinely nice ladies that I trust there, so I know if something happens, there will be someone there that I can rely on.

oh hun :bighug: that is horrendous. I could not imagine having to work with him.I've only seen him a couple of times over the years, but it's mainly in passing, when i go over to town (which isn't often). For years I refused to go anywhere near the hostel where I lived, because I was petrified of bumping into him, and the flashbacks were horrid.

It has been 5 years now, I try and get on with my life as best I can- I stopped drinking and taking drugs (both I used to stop the emotional and physical pain) and, now, i'm losing weight and trying to develop a more positive self image (i have BDD so that is pretty damn hard to do!)

I can't let this b**tard win. He took away a bit part of me after he did what he did, there is no way he can take anything else!

Today's shift is going to be difficult- Because I'm going to constantly be on edge- I know this. But after I've got today's shift out of the way- I should (hopefully) be ok.

It's gonna be a long day!

At least they are looking out for you... Well done on holding it together... Wishing you all the best in what must be a nasty situation...xx

 

[Angie_b]

changed my mind

 

[parfittaroles]

Today's shift is going to be difficult- Because I'm going to constantly be on edge- I know this. But after I've got today's shift out of the way- I should (hopefully) be ok.

It's gonna be a long day!

how was your day? x

 

[LittleFlutterby]

how was your day? x

it was pretty good- i was on checkouts aaaaaaaall shift none of my closest colleagues were there, but that was ok. it went well.

I ended up going to see some friends in a pub 30 mins walk away from work (frigging bus was early!!) most of them went, but a few stayed, it was nice. ended up cuddled next to one of my best friends (my adopted auntie) because i was so tired!

the cuddle was nice though- i gotta be honest, I really needed it. it's been a while since i've had a good cuddle!

 

[GothGoddess]

it was pretty good- i was on checkouts aaaaaaaall shift none of my closest colleagues were there, but that was ok. it went well.

I ended up going to see some friends in a pub 30 mins walk away from work (frigging bus was early!!) most of them went, but a few stayed, it was nice. ended up cuddled next to one of my best friends (my adopted auntie) because i was so tired!

the cuddle was nice though- i gotta be honest, I really needed it. it's been a while since i've had a good cuddle!

Bless you... nothing is as good as a cuddle, makes the world of difference... Love cuddles off my Kev and my Bro when I am feeling down...xx

 

[parfittaroles]

Ahh, nothing beats a good cuddle

 

[MadameLaMinx]

I can't let this b**tard win. He took away a bit part of me after he did what he did, there is no way he can take anything else!

I hope you dont mind, but THIS particular bit of your post leapt out at me.

Take whatever he took from you back. RIGHT NOW. I know you have only alluded to what actually happened, understandably, but from my own personal experience, the only way to really recover from such an incident is to recognise that it was out of your control, and to be able to put it behind you, you need to regain that control for yourself.

Acts like that are not about the act itself, they are acts of anger, of control, of feeling the power over the victim. The way to win the fight is to not take it personally, (ridiculous as that might sound, it really isnt a personal attack on you, your character, your looks, your personality, any of those things) - it is quite simply and plainly one human being wrongly exerting control over another and intimidating them.

So dont let him. I know that sounds easy for me to say when you are finding yourself seeing him in person, but you are in a safe place at work, with people around you - he cannot do it again and allowing him the power to scare you is just not giving you the credit for how far you have come in recovering.

If you can get it into your mind, that it happened, it wasnt personal, it is over, you survived it and you REFUSE to allow him to have any more influence over your life - you can really make a difference in how you feel about yourself. Its not always easy, but you just keep reminding yourself of that. Allow him NOTHING of you. It wasnt his to take and he just cannot have it. Its YOURS, and you are having it back.

(((hugs)))

 

[Shirleen]

I hope you dont mind, but THIS particular bit of your post leapt out at me.

Take whatever he took from you back. RIGHT NOW. I know you have only alluded to what actually happened, understandably, but from my own personal experience, the only way to really recover from such an incident is to recognise that it was out of your control, and to be able to put it behind you, you need to regain that control for yourself.

Acts like that are not about the act itself, they are acts of anger, of control, of feeling the power over the victim. The way to win the fight is to not take it personally, (ridiculous as that might sound, it really isnt a personal attack on you, your character, your looks, your personality, any of those things) - it is quite simply and plainly one human being wrongly exerting control over another and intimidating them.

So dont let him. I know that sounds easy for me to say when you are finding yourself seeing him in person, but you are in a safe place at work, with people around you - he cannot do it again and allowing him the power to scare you is just not giving you the credit for how far you have come in recovering.

If you can get it into your mind, that it happened, it wasnt personal, it is over, you survived it and you REFUSE to allow him to have any more influence over your life - you can really make a difference in how you feel about yourself. Its not always easy, but you just keep reminding yourself of that. Allow him NOTHING of you. It wasnt his to take and he just cannot have it. Its YOURS, and you are having it back.

(((hugs)))

Extremely wise words xxxx

 

[Tinytootz]

Dear person who smashed my wing mirror off.

Cheers very much. Obviously you felt you needed the entire pavement, including the teeny bit my wing mirror hovered over. I was not parked on the pavement, so in reality, you had no right to do it. So due to this, I had to drive to an interview down single carriageway county roads with no left mirror, and reverse down double parked terraced streets with no wing mirror. You swine!

 

[parfittaroles]

whatever he took from you back. RIGHT NOW. I know you have only alluded to what actually happened, understandably, but from my own personal experience, the only way to really recover from such an incident is to recognise that it was out of your control, and to be able to put it behind you, you need to regain that control for yourself.

Very wise words but hard to do!

 

[bevhunter1986]

Dear doctor

If you make it so hard to get a s*dding appointment I may as well look like a spaz and sit in a and e for this!!

I make an appointment nearly a week ago for this and now youre 20 minutes late! I don't have all fecking day to waste you know, and if you fob me off I will crack you in the face !

And another thing teach your receptionists some bloody manners, yes I want an appointment and no I don't want to be dead before I get here!! Not that I'm that ill but I'm sure you get my point!!

Your unhappy patient

 

[MadameLaMinx]

Very wise words but hard to do!

Absolutely, but recognising that it is within your power to do so is a great first step. It wont suddenly just fix everything, but I know when it happened to me, I internalised everything, blamed myself, (aided and abetted by the VERY kind lady from the Samaritans who asked me what I had been wearing and told me I only had myself to blame, yeah, thanks for that) - and it was only when I was able to start to depersonalise it that I could begin to rebuild myself. It took someone else pointing what I just said out to me, before I was able to recognise that I shouldn't take it personally. The problem lies with them, not with me. I am not weak because it happened to me, nor stupid, just unlucky to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.

You do have to make a concious effort to talk to yourself firmly when you find yourself scared or in a position of doubt - no question. In the back of your mind there is always going to be that thing that gets triggered and leaps out to remind you, but if you acknowledge it mentally, and then stamp on it mentally, it can make a real difference.

It takes practice, but it can be done. I just want people in the same position to know that it doesnt have to be something that blights your life forever. With time, with practice, and with increasing confidence, it can become a relatively insignificant thing that happened in the past. It needs to become that, or it continues to keep that control over your life, which is precisely what you need to avoid to truly be able to "get over" it.

 

[WelshJojo]

Dear doctor

If you make it so hard to get a s*dding appointment I may as well look like a spaz and sit in a and e for this!!

I make an appointment nearly a week ago for this and now youre 20 minutes late! I don't have all fecking day to waste you know, and if you fob me off I will crack you in the face !

And another thing teach your receptionists some bloody manners, yes I want an appointment and no I don't want to be dead before I get here!! Not that I'm that ill but I'm sure you get my point!!

Your unhappy patient

I used to get cross when docs were running late, but a very wise lady once told me-if you were the person in the there with the doc, and you had a lot of things to sort out, you wouldn't want the doc to suddenly turn round and say-that's it-you've had enough time now!!! You just have to be a bit more tolerant to this fact, and remember that at least you'll get to see the doc-even if it is 20 mins late(which in the grand scheme of things isn't that long), also life is too short to get stressed out over things out of your control. Hope you get the problem sorted x

 

[MissSlinky2011]

It takes practice, but it can be done. I just want people in the same position to know that it doesnt have to be something that blights your life forever. With time, with practice, and with increasing confidence, it can become a relatively insignificant thing that happened in the past. It needs to become that, or it continues to keep that control over your life, which is precisely what you need to avoid to truly be able to "get over" it.

This is absolutely true, I was attacked by two Irish men when I was 18 but I was never a victim I fought back like an alley cat that night and those vile men will carry the scars for life, they both went to jail for a long time because I wasn't the first to get attacked but I was the first to cause them enough damage and gather enough evidence to link all the attacks together.

I will forever carry my phone in my bra so its close enough to voice dial 999 and I will always wear stilettoes on a night out because if you kick someone with enough force you create a 3 inch deep puncture hole

It's never your fault for what your attacker did, and anytime I hear a man say she's "asking for it" when I'm out they get barage of abuse from me and my friends.

I'm glad those men chose to attack me, because they picked the wrong girl to mess with and they paid the price for their sins and made me a stronger person in the process.

 

[JamieB]

You know what? I'm in THAT kind of mood tonight so I'd better stop posting before I put my foot too far in it.

Sent from my iPod touch using MiniMins

Just wanted to post to say that my wife may have neglected to mention some details so I can see why it was taken like this

On a regular roundabout, you're absolutely right, you should never take an indicator for granted and just wait for a sensible gap.

However, this was on a mini roundabout, both cars opposite each other, with the turn off to our left and his right. He'd of course have right of way, and had he been indicating, no problem, but I'm pretty sure noone comes to a complete stop at a roundabout when all the cars coming from headon are just going over it.

Sure you slow down towards it, but you can't just sit there and wait for a gap like you can on a regular roundabout, especially on a busy main road, because the traffic will just keep on coming.

Just wanted to clear that up

p.s. She's not so bad in the car rage wise, forums is a much better outlet for it than the road, she wouldn't hurt a fly

 

[parfittaroles]

I internalised everything, blamed myself, (aided and abetted by the VERY kind lady from the Samaritans who asked me what I had been wearing and told me I only had myself to blame, yeah, thanks for that)

I'm in complete shock reading that. It's unbelievable that people still think things like that. I was wearing jeans & a hoodie so I haven't had to contend with comments about my clothes but i have to live with the way i reacted & 'provoked' him. I still blame myself for it though and I think I always will. How frickin depressing.