Westiegirl: Restarted Day 1 Under my Belt!

Day 2 - Just Beginning

Well, I made through day 1 and I feel fine so far! Still very hungry but am I sick by actually liking feeling hungry? It means to me that I am doing something right and that I am in control. I am making the decisions and changing my own destiny.

I hope today goes just as well. I have nothing planned but the sofa, the tv and minimins! The weather outside is awful so I'm staying indoors. Oh the luxury! Mind you the weather has just become worse I was quite lucky to miss the rain when I went out to the doctors. I've had my blood test - appointment was at 8.40am and I was back home by 8.50am. Easy as! Oh what a change from a year or so ago. When I was at my lowest, just before David and I split up, I was pretty much scared of my own shadow. My independance was gone and I would hide indoors. The thought of a needle would make sick and I never went to the doctors at all. Now I've had 3 blood tests in 6 months and I'm reclaiming my life. It was never that David repressed me, in fact it was just the opposite but my depression caused me to hide behind him. Being forced to go solo has actually been very good for me and I am a much more confident person.

So, bring on day 2 - I'm waiting for you!
 
Hi Sarah!

Glad you survived Day 1 - well done you...... :D You are sounding very upbeat and positive......:D

I'm starting my Day 1 today - couldn't face it yesterday after the weekend - needed carbs:rolleyes: Anyway just had first litre of water and not feeling too bad - still very tired.... Taken the kids to school and am gonna do pretty much what you are as the weather here is awful tooo..... it's soooo windy.......

Have a great Day 2 hun...... you are doing brill:D

Lots of love
 
I'm so glad that you're feeling stronger today Sarah. I was thinking about you this morning, hoping that you had got through the night ok.

I've always found that dieting can be a very lonely business. Alone with the self-destructive thoughts that threaten to take over, with no-one (who has any understanding) to talk to about it, it's really, really hard.

Luckily you've got Minis to dip into (rather than a dip!) when the going gets tough. I hope that it's enough to help you get through this difficult time.
 
AmandaJayne, you are so right! It is lonely, especially when you live with a family who have no concept of "eating issues". Thank goodness for Minimins is all I can say. I have had the support of all these lovely people for such a long time, I don't know what I would have done without them!
 
Hey hun - glad to hear you're still going strong!!!

I've just nearly cried cos the kids are eating my luvverly casserole and they hate it so there's loads left - aaargh!!!!!

Just as well I'm off out to work again! Might have to find something nasty to smell to put me off scoffing it lol!

lots of love
 
Day 2 - Update

Well it's 4.30pm and time for Ready Steady Cook - why do I do this to myself? I do love that program (sorry if this makes me sad lol).

I am now REALLY HUNGRY grrrrr! Just made a coffee and a big mug of peppermint tea. So far I have had a nut crunch bar, a vanilla coffee shake and a vegetable soup. I have 1 pack pack left to go which I will have a bit later. I don't think I will be too bothered tonight because I have other plans. Big footie match tonight - Liverpool v Arsenal in the Carling Cup. I'm going to my brothers to watch it on his 42" HD Plasma TV. They better win this time, after the humiliation of the FA Cup at the weekend. If we don't I might not be back for a while (tail between my legs).

So today I have done the sum total of nowt, nothing, nada! Have been loading tunes on my MP3 player and having a dance around my lounge! Can't hold a dancing queen down! I have also been trying to fill in my job seekers allowance form. God I hate forms! I have an interview at the job centre tomorrow morning. I have never claimed before as I have never been out of work so it's all new to me! Filled in about 2 pages and will do the rest tomorrow before I go. Why do I always leave things till last minute! :eek:

I had a call from my ex boss from the kiltmakers in scotland at lunchtime today. He's poorly and wants be to come back and nurse him better ;). We had a nice conversation till I managed to cut him off (not intentionally mind, he's a funny guy!). It was nice to chat to him - I miss my scottish pals but it will probably be summer before I get back up there.

Have a "date" with P shortly. He finished work at 4pm and has just texted me to say he'll be with me shortly. He is rather nice. He says all the right things - gosh I hope he is genuine! Mind you I am still keeping him at arms length at the mo. Still quite wary but i think i might just take a chance soon! :eek:
 
Isobel1965 said:
Hey hun - glad to hear you're still going strong!!!

I've just nearly cried cos the kids are eating my luvverly casserole and they hate it so there's loads left - aaargh!!!!!

Just as well I'm off out to work again! Might have to find something nasty to smell to put me off scoffing it lol!

lots of love
Click to expand...

Glad you are having an ok day. The little minxes though, not eating your casserole after all the hard work, especially whilst ssing :(

Don't work too hard tonight. At least it's a distraction! You will be in ketosis in no time now, lucky thing! Mind you I'm only a day behind. Can't wait :D
 
Took the Plunge - Spoke to P

Well, as per my last post, P called me and I decided to take the bull by the horns and speak to him.

That was a VERY BIG DEAL for me. I haven't mentioned before but since my depression hit I have have a real hard time talking to people on the phone. Not official calls but personal, talking to friends, phone calls. Texting has made life much easier for me as I am not pushed to speak. I don't really understand it as I was always happy to chat for hours on the phone - when I was younger I used to be the one who ran to answer the phone. It's funny how depression affects you isn't it. I guess I haven't really thought about that aspect of it before, but thinking about situations where I can avoid the phone I have. Living with my old flatmate was great because we both screened calls! I'm not even sure what scares me about it though? Feelings of inadequecy perhaps? I think that maybe I will get tongue tied and not know what to say. I hate awkward silences. I also don't think I'm witty enough to hold my end of the conversation.

Anyway, as I said, P called and we chatted. He sounds really nice but quite "posh". I'm used to rough and ready north of england/scottish types. Never been involved with a southerner before. He does sound a bit geeky and knows a bit about wine and goes salsa dancing. Not my usual type at all! I am inclined to run for the hills :eek:. We were talking and I was a bit uncomfortable and I kept thinking "he's not my type" but I guess that I would probably think that anyway. Maybe I am just looking for excuses to not get involved. Someone at the weekend had a conversation with me about perfection and my expectations on myself. She is totally right and I also believe I place these expectations on others too. That's just not realistic is it? I know I do it, I did it with David. When we were together I wished for something different and that probably put the nail in our coffin. No one can live with that pressure can they? I look at him now and realise what a good person he is but I don't regret our parting. There were lots of ways in which he drove me mad and that was to do with him and not me lol!:D

OMG what a mixed up cookie!

Anyway, this post wasn't meant to get that deep. I really need to just relax and go with the flow don't I? I guess if I keep talking to him I can make an informed decision and if we get on, we get on. If not ho hum!
 
Hope you've had another good day hun...... I managed a whole day SSing and I'm well impressed....LOL!!

Here's to tomorrow and us both being smaller by BHam.... we'll have alot of fun you know - Flares is great (although sadly no half naked men strutting their stuff......LOL)

Lots of love
 
Here's to tomorrow and us both being smaller by BHam.... we'll have alot of fun you know -
Click to expand...

To all 3 of us being smaller by Bham WeMITTS meet.

Good luck with P.

Flares is great (although sadly no half naked men strutting their stuff......LOL)
Click to expand...

Just young nubile ones willing to give you a run for their money if you let 'em. :D
 
Darling Sarah - if you don't want to speak to anyone, be it P or whoever, then just don't! It's what you want, doll - not what other people expect/want/demand that you do!

Well done on getting another day's ssing under your belt!!

I just threw away the remains of the casserole - not the nicest thing to do so early in the morning - I nearly threw up lol!

You are such a beautiful person xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
Day 2 - End Of!

The less said about last night, the better, ahem!

I was full of optimism when I headed to my brothers but my footie team soon knocked that out of me as they continued to be knocked out of the second competition since the weekend!

As said by a famous footballer:
'Some people believe football is a matter of life and death.
I'm very disappointed with that attitude.
I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.'

I really could have done with a stiff drink to drown my sorrows, but I stuck to black coffee and a litre of water. It was quite hard watching my brother eat his tea as well. He only had a tin of french onion soup and a baguette but it smelt lovely. The worst bit was when he sprinkled cheese on the top! I can usually cope but I was sooooo hungry!

Came home in a very bad mood, refused to come out to play and went to bed instead!

Day 2 sucessfully completed!
 
Condolences Sarah, don't follow footie .... had to check on BBC website to see which was your team!

Well done with sticking to the diet though. And now you're on day 3 ...wheyyyyyyyy!!!
 
Day 3 - In Ketosis Already

I'm pleasantly surprised to find that I am in ketosis already this morning. Used a ketostix without really thinking I would be in the pink but not only was it pink, it was bright pink! :D

I have slipped back into ketosis very easily this time considering what rubbish I was eating for the last couple of months. I have also not felt ill at all. No headaches or nausea at all. In fact I've felt fine for the last 2 days. Although I still feel hungry this morning. My stomach is rumbling like mad! I do remember that I felt exactly the same for about a week the first time I did LL, even though I knew I couldn't physically be hungry.

I know that I shouldn't have, but I did weigh myself this morning and I am 12stone 1.6lbs. So that's 6lbs lost already. My aim is to be back in the 11s by my official weigh in on Monday morning.

Will have to get myself out of bed soon, got lots on today and I must shower. Got a text from P this morning saying "morning gorgeous". I almost choked, if only he could see me, he'd run for the hills! My hair doesn't cope very well overnight. I literally look like I've been plugged into a socket! I'm not sure why but when I'm well into SSing my hair stays more in place over night - that I am looking forward to even though why is mystery to me! I'll take all the positive side effects I can!

I have my appointment with the job centre today at 11.40am and I still have to complete the forms. I think I might actually be quite happy to go back to work - in a week or 2! I am actually enjoying not doing anything at the moment. That's a first for me. Usually I have to be occupied and if I'm not doing anything I feel guilty, oh so much guilt. It really can't be good for you to have so much guilt!

It's also my brother's birthday today so I need to get his present. I really don't know what to get him though!
 
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