Attitude to fat people
- Thread starter Guenevere
- Start date
2hourglass
Silver Member
misscheeky
Gold Member
msblonde
a new way of living!
i'm a red hed naturally( almost ginger but not quite), i bleach it blonde, what is worse?? ginger jokes, blonde jokes, being over weight, short, being disabled?? blimey if i were sensitive to comments i'd be annoyed with everyone all the time!
although i beleive you have to respect people as they are, i also beleive that this PC thing has gone too far generally.
it is not people that make you react, or what they say, its your own association with it. the people making the jipe are usually insecure, lonely or feel unloved. making others feel bad is their weird way of trying to make themselves feel better. if the receipitent of comment is already sensitive about their (insert whatever) then it is their association to that insecurity that affects them, not a stranger making a comment.
obviously when you are younger and less mature you take things to heart more, but as you grow older and see and experience more in the world, you learn to accept yourself as you are; and try to improve the areas that you can. i.e. dieting, dying your hair! like me
I am the same helen underneath, still got ginger collar and cuffs!!
as for having lost weight, dont worry Guen, if you start feeling differernly towards larger people, it doesn't make you a bad person. you are most likely a)wanting them to work on positive transformation, like you are, or b) wake up to what they do have going for them and appreciate it, or c) scared that you may end up losing control and gain weight yourself again.
i heard a quote recently:
when you are in your 20's you worry what everyone thinks of you, when you are in your 40's you dont care what everyone thinks of you, and when you are in your 60's you realise that not everyone was thinking about you anyway!
i think if you behave in a way that wouldn't embarras you if you realised you mum was standing behind you - then you are doing ok.
A famous poem by Marianne Williamson:
"Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us: We ask ourselves 'who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory that is within us. It is not in some of us, it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
personally, i wil prob feel a reaction to overweight people too, either wanting to help them or give them a good shake! its human nature to be passionate about something you have worked hard to conquer yourself, the frustrating thing is, not everyone is ready or willing to change. it is their individual choice. all we can do, if asked/appropriate, is gently remind people that they do have choices.
all the best
xxxx
although i beleive you have to respect people as they are, i also beleive that this PC thing has gone too far generally.
it is not people that make you react, or what they say, its your own association with it. the people making the jipe are usually insecure, lonely or feel unloved. making others feel bad is their weird way of trying to make themselves feel better. if the receipitent of comment is already sensitive about their (insert whatever) then it is their association to that insecurity that affects them, not a stranger making a comment.
obviously when you are younger and less mature you take things to heart more, but as you grow older and see and experience more in the world, you learn to accept yourself as you are; and try to improve the areas that you can. i.e. dieting, dying your hair! like me
I am the same helen underneath, still got ginger collar and cuffs!!as for having lost weight, dont worry Guen, if you start feeling differernly towards larger people, it doesn't make you a bad person. you are most likely a)wanting them to work on positive transformation, like you are, or b) wake up to what they do have going for them and appreciate it, or c) scared that you may end up losing control and gain weight yourself again.
i heard a quote recently:
when you are in your 20's you worry what everyone thinks of you, when you are in your 40's you dont care what everyone thinks of you, and when you are in your 60's you realise that not everyone was thinking about you anyway!
i think if you behave in a way that wouldn't embarras you if you realised you mum was standing behind you - then you are doing ok.
A famous poem by Marianne Williamson:
"Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us: We ask ourselves 'who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory that is within us. It is not in some of us, it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
personally, i wil prob feel a reaction to overweight people too, either wanting to help them or give them a good shake! its human nature to be passionate about something you have worked hard to conquer yourself, the frustrating thing is, not everyone is ready or willing to change. it is their individual choice. all we can do, if asked/appropriate, is gently remind people that they do have choices.
all the best
xxxx
howdy-doody
Eloquent hooligan
cuddlyfairy
Gold Member
I hope that when I get to target I don't become intolerant of those overweight, although I do find myself looking at obese people now and fighting the urge to tell them about LT!!
I know I have been treated differently coz of being overweight - my bro-in-law will flirt with my skinny sis but seems to actively dislike me! I'm sure it's coz she is pretty and I am not! Either that or he hates ballsy women! Lol!
As a teacher you have to be careful not to discriminate and I don't treat pupils differently just coz they are black, asian, ginger, disabled, wear glasses, have buck teeth or different in any way. It's not what's on the surface it's what's inside that counts.
x
I know I have been treated differently coz of being overweight - my bro-in-law will flirt with my skinny sis but seems to actively dislike me! I'm sure it's coz she is pretty and I am not! Either that or he hates ballsy women! Lol!
As a teacher you have to be careful not to discriminate and I don't treat pupils differently just coz they are black, asian, ginger, disabled, wear glasses, have buck teeth or different in any way. It's not what's on the surface it's what's inside that counts.
x
2hourglass
Silver Member
The voice of sanity ! Great post !
BTW - I for the record find red-headed women hot
kiss ass
howdy-doody
Eloquent hooligan
kiss ass
yours or mine ?
I tried mine - couldn't quite reach nearly had a faux pas at work today - a large colleague commented on my weight loss & was talking about LT - verrr' nearly said to her 'I'll give you the details....'
msblonde
a new way of living!
kiss ass
LMAO
trimlee
Love God; Love People
Good topic Guen. It's not that hard to think 'why aren't you doing anything about your weight?' about other overweight people. I hope I will alays be understanding and not judgemental, and if I do say anything I hope it will be helpful, not critical. Only this evening I was watching East Enders and I thought of Pat and Charlie 'they ought to go on lipotrim....'
thefutureisbright
Banned
who ate all the pies?
It is a tough question you are asking here. I don't think that you will become a "mean skinny". People who are mean and cruel to overweight people can't have been fat themselves. I have been both thin and fat and I must admit that you get treated so much better when you are not fat. It is terrible because if you swap out fat with being an ethnic minority or disabled - it is called discrimination! I think that as long as we don't give advice to other people about losing weight unless they ask specifically about it, you should be fine. I always try to remember that giving advice without being asked for it is really critisism.......
I have found myself looking at peoples size, and what they're eating more. I saw a girl getting on a bus with a bottle of coke...and I thought..."That wasn't a wise decision", and then I realised that 1000s of times in the past, I was that girl! I tended to eat n drink out cos mum didn't approve!
Something struck me when I was reading all your posts, EVEN if we do lose weight, which we will, AND keep it off, it took us all a long time to reach the place where we could diet, it took me my entire 22 years, so who am I to judge people who haven't got to that place yet?
Guen
Something struck me when I was reading all your posts, EVEN if we do lose weight, which we will, AND keep it off, it took us all a long time to reach the place where we could diet, it took me my entire 22 years, so who am I to judge people who haven't got to that place yet?
Guen
msblonde
a new way of living!
my ex was a fatist, if he saw an overweight person in the street, he'd wind down his window and shout 'fatty' and laugh, and once on holiday he saw someone choosing lunch at one of those self service counters, he actually walked up to them, and wispered 'i'd chose the salad if i were you love' needless to say EX BOYFRIEND! i was slim at the time, but HE was definately not slim, he had a massive beer belly - which i used to poke if he was mean to people.
towards the end of our relationshit (yes spelled right!) i gained weight, (looked like avatar picce though) and his comments got me down so much i left, found keith and we are now getting married
while with keith i gained another couple of stone, before joining LT, and keith has always loved me no matter what size i've been.
in fact the other day he said, you are stunning now, if you do choose to lose weight, you will be drop dead gorg! now that is the kind of motivation a girl needs 
keith is the man!
towards the end of our relationshit (yes spelled right!) i gained weight, (looked like avatar picce though) and his comments got me down so much i left, found keith and we are now getting married
while with keith i gained another couple of stone, before joining LT, and keith has always loved me no matter what size i've been.
in fact the other day he said, you are stunning now, if you do choose to lose weight, you will be drop dead gorg! now that is the kind of motivation a girl needs
keith is the man! 
Barb
Gold Member
What an interesting thread! I think the one of the things you have to watch if and when you become slim is your own assumptions about other people.
Why assume they are unhappy and deserve your pity? I am well and truly overweight but I don't want or need your pity. I'm not stupid, I know how to lose weight and if I put in sufficient effort I guess I would be slimmer. Trouble is life gets in the way! I am not prepared to sacrifice my fantastic social life etc.. on the alter of slimdom.
Yes, I am sure there are people who are very big and very miserable, but we are all different. Fatism is wrong, so is staring at someone with a big nose. People do though.
I would like to live in a world where appearance was not the MOST important thing about anyone. Perhaps we would have less eating disorders, less body dysmorphia and generally happier people around getting on with their lives instead of fixating on how they look.
Oops, that was a bit of a rant! Sorry!
Why assume they are unhappy and deserve your pity? I am well and truly overweight but I don't want or need your pity. I'm not stupid, I know how to lose weight and if I put in sufficient effort I guess I would be slimmer. Trouble is life gets in the way! I am not prepared to sacrifice my fantastic social life etc.. on the alter of slimdom.
Yes, I am sure there are people who are very big and very miserable, but we are all different. Fatism is wrong, so is staring at someone with a big nose. People do though.
I would like to live in a world where appearance was not the MOST important thing about anyone. Perhaps we would have less eating disorders, less body dysmorphia and generally happier people around getting on with their lives instead of fixating on how they look.
Oops, that was a bit of a rant! Sorry!
Sheep
on the up lol
Being very fat my self(now shrinking)
i never look at people in horror, no matter what is wrong being fat, disabled, or even ginger, dont get me wrong i use to(being a teenager), but i had a life changing time for 10 years, my mum got ill with cancer, she was very slim but the lack of moving around she piled the weight on, comfort eating, u name it she got cancer there , made her disabled to a point where she had to use a wheel chair out side couldnt walk far , seeing her go through all that nearly killed me (she passed away 21/12/05,,,,,,, made me relise what and why some people are mean.....They are insucure them selfs and to take p*** out of people stops them thinking of there own worries
this is only my opinion but each to there own as my mum use to say
i never look at people in horror, no matter what is wrong being fat, disabled, or even ginger, dont get me wrong i use to(being a teenager), but i had a life changing time for 10 years, my mum got ill with cancer, she was very slim but the lack of moving around she piled the weight on, comfort eating, u name it she got cancer there , made her disabled to a point where she had to use a wheel chair out side couldnt walk far , seeing her go through all that nearly killed me (she passed away 21/12/05,,,,,,, made me relise what and why some people are mean.....They are insucure them selfs and to take p*** out of people stops them thinking of there own worries
this is only my opinion but each to there own as my mum use to say
howdy-doody
Eloquent hooligan
Sorry to hear about your loss Sheepy xxx
Totally agree too - people project their own insecurities onto others to divert attention away from themselves...
Totally agree too - people project their own insecurities onto others to divert attention away from themselves...
newstarter
Full Member
Hi,
I am with Guen on this - I was overweight as a kid, and worked extremely hard to lose the fat when I was 20. Managed to lose it all very quickly by healthy eating and going to the gym, and maintained for years. I never ever said anything hurtful to fat people but I always thought to myself - if I could lose it so could they.
Its only when I got PCOS and started piling on the weight that I understood that some people are fat due to medical issues. Mind you - I think I may have used it as an excuse when I couldn't lose the weight - and now that I've lost 2 stone (haven't updated my ticker and signature since I came back from holiday) - I worry that I will start thinking like i did when I was slim - that anyone can lose weight if they put their mind to it. I for one have very very little willpower, and if I could stick to LT for 2 months than anyone can do it! I really hope I won't go back to my old ways of thinking little of fat people especially since I lost the weight despite having PCOS.
rugen
Full Member
excelent question G!!
I think if I ever reach a normal size id still be the same with overweight people. the reason i started this diet is I havent flown before and went to florida last month and paid an extra £400 for seats for the 4 of us to have extra legroom.the ones we got were next to the E-Exit door. i squeezed my ass into the seat but the belt needed extending. the plane was packed and the hostess told me to move, told her I had paid for the seats extra she got a bit harsh and informed me that i was too big and would block the exit in an emergency so went around the plane asking for someone to swap. i could hear the sniggers..........totally gutted virtually to tears and dreaded the flight home as we had the same seats. fortunatly the trolly dolly was an uber cool gay guy who sorted me out discreetly and professionally in my eyes.
but guess that the first ***** gave me the kick in the ass i needed as i sometimes think you try and beleive your not as big as you are.
carl
I think if I ever reach a normal size id still be the same with overweight people. the reason i started this diet is I havent flown before and went to florida last month and paid an extra £400 for seats for the 4 of us to have extra legroom.the ones we got were next to the E-Exit door. i squeezed my ass into the seat but the belt needed extending. the plane was packed and the hostess told me to move, told her I had paid for the seats extra she got a bit harsh and informed me that i was too big and would block the exit in an emergency so went around the plane asking for someone to swap. i could hear the sniggers..........totally gutted virtually to tears and dreaded the flight home as we had the same seats. fortunatly the trolly dolly was an uber cool gay guy who sorted me out discreetly and professionally in my eyes.
but guess that the first ***** gave me the kick in the ass i needed as i sometimes think you try and beleive your not as big as you are.
carl
shell
hates diets
i work in an enviroment where we are taught to be diverse!!! infact have been on 4 courses about it...no matter what your colour , race, religion, gender, age , size , hair clour , sexual orientation, dissability....etc..someone will always mock, sad thing is its not usually to your face....you usually find those who do mock are those with hang ups about themselves....
i put on a serious amount of weight last year, my husband and i were the victims of a terrible arson attack (pre threatened) i ate and ate and ate a bit more....but its weird no one said anything to me about my weight piling on ....probably coz i would have punched them one!!!!
i put on a serious amount of weight last year, my husband and i were the victims of a terrible arson attack (pre threatened) i ate and ate and ate a bit more....but its weird no one said anything to me about my weight piling on ....probably coz i would have punched them one!!!!
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