Hey Kitty
Reading your posts have taken me back to last year Kitty.
I had the same problem and felt totally in the middle, i.e. my Dad and my stepbrother (never been brought up to say Step so thats odd!!!). but he is on paper not on lips :O).
He and my Dad didn't get on and it was just a blinking nightmare. There were egos on both sides but the upshot was my Brother had never met his real dad, so every time there was a family do he'd hear a bit more about him or an Aunty who knew him(not related) would urge him to seek him.
Annoyingly my brother never did anything but always brought it up so one day after years and years and years of arguing and telling me how "i did'nt understand" I searched on the web, paid for searches through Births deaths and marriages and found his dad.
Unfortunately he had passed away of the C, but it was closer for my Mum (he wasn't nice to her) and a shock to my Bro.
BUT it took another year, we met with some of his family and now I think he sees the good in our family - he doesn't bring it up and doesn't even drink/stay over on family occassions now because he doesn't want to be in or start a row.
So even though sometimes we have to stick our oar in - it does help - now i leave it all to them - i've helped to break a barrier - thats all im doing - the rest is up to them!
You are right to just sit back now Kitty - just leave it - My Bro rings, but only when he wants summit :O), i'll help he's family but it does annoy me a little. Still some people are family orientated and some aren't.
You sound like you are doing fantastic - keep it up - I made grub for our lot and friends at the weekend and kept saying "is it ok, does it taste nice" bless!
Nxx