Barbs thoughts for the future ......

Discussion in 'General Weight Loss Discussion' started by Barb, 14 August 2007 Social URL.

  1. Barb

    Barb Gold Member

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    Well as the Juddd diet slips quietly over the horizon the realisation that another weight loss plan goes with it has hit me square on. Probably about time, if anyone needs a reality check it's me.:cry:
    So this morning I woke up thinking about my weight, as usual and I decided to make some firm decisions, instead of mulling everything over endlessly and never really getting on with anything.
    1. I am not going to 'diet' any more. EVER.
    2. I am not going to use the above as an excuse to stuff my face with rubbish.
    3. The excellent advice I give others I will apply to myself. :D
    4. I will eat as healthily as I can and not beat myself up when I don't.
    5. I will weigh myself once a month on the 1st and no more than that; I am sick of the scales ruling my life.
    6. I will be grateful and proud of what I do have in life. Instead of whining about not being slim.
    7. I will look in the mirror and see what others see, I will not be horrible to myself anymore. I'm not a bad looking person, so why do I call myself names? No more of it!:eek:
    8. I will 'move' more. Look for excuses to walk a bit further and run upstairs at every opportunity.
    9. I will visit minimins regularly and share with myself and others how my journey is going.
    10. I will add to this list as I think of things!

    So here begins a new chapter, a non food/weight obsessed one. I feel happier already and I hope to see a change in myself in things other than weight.:cool:
     
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  3. JEM

    JEM Cambridge Diet Counsellor

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    Hi Barb

    Sounds like a fab plan - wishing you lots of luck with it......not that I think you'll need it!

    Jem xx
     
  4. Russiandoll

    Russiandoll Carpe diem

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    That's my girl! Down but never out - that's us eh?

    Your plan sounds great ... one where you can take life's inevitable knocks without it throwing your eating into a cocked hat. It's a very positive approach and one that, I'm sure, you will be happy and relaxed with.

    As you've probably noticed, I've finally accepted that I can't keep beating myself with a big CD stick anymore and have to learn to back off and ease up on myself. I think that, accepting that there ARE negatives in our lives but there are ALSO positives to help balance them out is a really healthy attitude. Living in 'Negativity-town' is no place to live happily at all.

    Good luck dear friend xx
     
  5. Barb

    Barb Gold Member

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    Thanks Jem for your confidence and positivity, thats just what I need.

    Thanks to you too Debbie, I think once again you and I are starting similar journeys at the same time. It is time both of us were nicer to ourselves; I am glad we are on the right track together, I am always happier travelling with you.

    Much Love
     
  6. MadamDotty

    MadamDotty Back again!

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    Barb that sounds spot on, be kinder to yourself is something we all could do more of that's for sure.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us and all the best with your changes and a happier, more positive time in your life.

    All the best

    Jan
    xx
     
  7. clairejen

    clairejen Lurker

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    Well done for making your decision Barb, I know you have been beating yourself up over this dieting for a while. Being happy is way more important than being thin, and we do see people on here who reach goal and are perplexed that it hasn't given them the happiness they sought. And happiness can bring a natural weightloss, my sister is living proof of that. Always a bit on the plump side she used to be a teacher, a job in which she was miserable. When she finally decided to give it up and work as a freelance musician her weight slowly started to fall off. No trying, no dieting, she was just happy enough not to want to comfort herself with chocolate all the time, just to eat it for pleasure occasionally.

    Enjoy your diet free life, and I hope we will still see you here.
     
  8. MandyB2

    MandyB2 Moderator/CD Counsellor

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    This sounds like a brilliant approach Barb:) Wishing you loads of Good luck :D

    love xxxxx:)
     
  9. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    Good on you Barb. No more beating yourself up. You're one very special lady :)
     
  10. Barb

    Barb Gold Member

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    Thanks everyone! Thats what I love about Minimins, there is always encouragement and kindness to be had!
    Had a good morning, busy but good. Just had a ham sandwich for lunch and was about to add a packet of crisps and I thought, ' why don't I have half a packet today and the rest tomorrow' so I did. I think if i can sneak in a few little changes here and there that are neither painful or difficult then I will be onto a winner. Also when I had my cup of tea I had 2 ginger biscuits, taken from the packet and the packet put away. If I take the packet with me and my tea then I am sure I eat 4 or 5 without even noticing.
    Its so nice not to feel 'hysterical' about the whole thing, you made a good point Claire, it is about being happy and if a slimmer me is a by product of that then FAB, if not, at least I am happier!

    KD - it takes one to know one!
     
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  11. Russiandoll

    Russiandoll Carpe diem

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    A really good tactic Barb! Two of my worst habits are to eat from the packet - I can get through loads that way - and also to eat whilst wandering about ... munching my way through a few biscuits or a handful of dried fruit, for example, whilst faffing about in the kitchen.
    It's as if eating 'on the hoof' means it doesn't count. Well, I have some very tight trousers that says it does! ;)

    These little but painless changes will add up to a big difference in the long run - not just to your weight but to your way of thinking. I can lose weight all I like, but if I continue to think in the same 'fat' way then I reckon I'll just keep jumping on and off the same old merry-go-round! Hat's off to you for recognising the potential pitfalls and making positive adjustments. :)
     
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  12. Barb

    Barb Gold Member

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    You're right Debbie, it is the little changes that add up. I am a born nibbler, everyone comments on how little I eat at mealtimes but they don't realise the cals I consume inbetween! That is a habit I want to beat.
    Just got back from shopping and had a nasty experience in the car park. I was parked right in the middle of my slot but when I got back to my car some T**T had parked so close there was no way I could get in. I tried climbing in from the passengers side and hurt my back so stopped. Eventually the daft woman arrived and said sorry about 30 times and I drove home again.
    Thing is instead of having a go at myself for being too fat to get in my car I was realistic, no one could have got in my car, thin or fat. It wasn't my fault, I didn't have a go at myself. I am home now and feel no need to comfort myself with sugar as I am not upset!

    Wow, hows that for positive thinking!!!:D
     
  13. Russiandoll

    Russiandoll Carpe diem

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    Three cheers for Barb! That's a huge leap forward in the positive thinking dept!

    This is an area I could do with addressing too. From not fitting through a 12" gap to tripping over a wonky paving slab, I blame it on the fact I'm overweight - even if it could have happened to anyone! So a huge well done - and it had the desired effect didn't it: no comfort eating back home ... you didn't need comforting. :D
     
  14. Barb

    Barb Gold Member

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    Well I have had a triumph already and it's only 9am! I didn't weigh myself! I didn't, at all! Now that may not sound like much but for me it really is. I have got in the habit of hopping on and off at least twice a day. But not last night and not today. So pleased, if I can stick to promises like that to myself then a new me is on her way.
    We were going out last night but as it was such a disgusting night we stayed in and I made a curry. had mine with boiled rice, no hardship there and we shared a bottle of wine. Then stopped. Lately, as I have felt a new diet coming on I seem to have been drinking more in readiness for the abstinence. Now I just don't feel the need. I think my twisted thinking is beginning to unravel - Hurray!

    Today I have had my tea and 2 ginger biscuits and a bit later I shall have some fresh fruit and a dollop of greek yougurt. I am going to look after myself and my health - I'm worth it!
     
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  15. Russiandoll

    Russiandoll Carpe diem

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    You seem so much calmer Barb ... and in control. Isn't that the thing that throws us into a spin? Feeling like we've lost all control?

    Then we throw the baby out with the bathwater and abandon ALL efforts - it's a vicious cycle.

    You sound like you are now back at the helm :)
     
  16. Barb

    Barb Gold Member

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    Do you know Debbie, I think I am! I just feel better and I notice I am enjoying my food more, no frenetic gobbling of chocolate when no-ones looking, no sneaking an extra biccie because I can. It's very interesting, I just do feel, well you said it, CALM!!!
     
  17. girlygirl

    girlygirl Silver Member

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    Good for you, Barb. So much of losing and not losing weight is in our heads. The problem is, we feel distress and all other negative and positive emotions in our stomachs!

    I, too, can nibble all day so I made a firm decision to stop. As you say the little changes make all the difference, and they soon become habit, if we let them.

    When you've lost weight by VLCD-ing it can be very hard to go back to a life of smallish weekly/monthly weight losses. As with most of us who make the switch back to normal food, one key reason is usually that we can no longer SS nor even 790. We keep buying the product and restarting and making plans to really, really stick to it, but we fail. Next comes the harsh reality of going back to carbs. I worked up through the steps, as they say, and STILL regained a ton of water. It has taken months for this to settle down. Now it has I feel much better.

    I hope you will relax into a comfortable pattern of eating, banish the guilt, and take it one day at a time. Good luck!
     
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  19. Barb

    Barb Gold Member

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    Thanks GirlyGirl, its great to have your thoughts.

    Although I have never done a VLCD I do know what it is to exist in a world where weight loss is the only thing you want, where every morsel of food makes you guilty and every pound gained reminds you of how useless you are.
    I just feel the need to put a stop to it, who am I to be so judgemental about myself? Why is it my job to punish myself all the time? I have made a decision to stop it and although I still feel driven to lose weight I am going to do it gently, kindly to myself, without the usual pressure that inevitably, for me, results in failure.

    I sometimes wonder how much physical damage I have done to myself with this relentless quest to be a shape that seems frankly unattainable. The stress over the years of hope followed by failure cannot have been good. :(
    However the positivity that I am now going to employ is going to be good, I will celebrate each victory; from resisting a biscuit, to not weighing myself to walking an extra few feet. :D

    Look out, there's a new Barb in town!:p
     
  20. Russiandoll

    Russiandoll Carpe diem

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    You're so right Barb ... nobody, but NOBODY is as mean to me as I am to myself. I don't deserve my hateful attitude - none of us deserve the thrashings we give ourselves. You've inspired me to TRY and treat myself in the same way my friends do - with kindness and respect.
     
  21. Barb

    Barb Gold Member

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    Then that has made me very happy Debbie because that is what you deserve.
    Isn't it amazing to be 48(well I am anyway) and still be learning such life changing stuff. When I was a younster I looked at older people and thought how 'sorted' they seemed. I now realise they probably weren't at all.
    Good day yesterday, took Ozzie for a nice walk in the park then DH and I went to the pub! 3 glasses of red wine and scampi and chips later I felt very mellow. Ate all the scampi, half the chips and had an ice cream when we got home. No more wine though, even though naughty Dh suggested it! Had a lovely evening but no guilt at all. That is so rare for me, I felt like I had a 'normal' evening, I chose what I fancied, ate what I wanted of it and went home satisfied and happy. Result!

    This morning the scales were calling very loudly ' c'mon, come over here, you know you miss us, you know you want to hop on just for a minute, wouldn't take a sec, go on, don't ignore us, thats rude. We've stuck by you through thick and thick, get over here' very persuasive my scales, but not persuasive enough. I ignored them, so thats 2 days of no weighing, it feels good!
     
  22. Russiandoll

    Russiandoll Carpe diem

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    Sounds like you had a top day Barb! Even though I'm counting cals, I don't feel like I'm actually dieting as such because I'm eating without guilt (an alien concept to me recently!)

    Have another fab day - look forward to reading about it later xx
     
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