Bluegirls journey to ar*e island
- Thread starter bluegirl
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bluegirl
Silver Member
I know, I'm either working away from home or knackered. Funny how situations can make you switch off parts of your life. Hope I can switch it on again when I see my fella on Thursday.
Had a crap day at work, well crap week actually, but managing to stick to the plan. Home problems are spiralling out of control. Well out of my control which is never good if you are usually the chief plate spinner. It's tough being a step mum to a 13 year old boy. Especially when his mum is encouraging him down a path I don't approve of. It's hard as he lives with us, I know I have to respect her wishes, but I'm the one that will pick up the pieces and perform damage limitation and nurturing afterwards.
Ok. Rant over. I've 2 lovely cats who are no trouble at all! Xxx
Had a crap day at work, well crap week actually, but managing to stick to the plan. Home problems are spiralling out of control. Well out of my control which is never good if you are usually the chief plate spinner. It's tough being a step mum to a 13 year old boy. Especially when his mum is encouraging him down a path I don't approve of. It's hard as he lives with us, I know I have to respect her wishes, but I'm the one that will pick up the pieces and perform damage limitation and nurturing afterwards.
Ok. Rant over. I've 2 lovely cats who are no trouble at all! Xxx
That must be really difficult n there must be a lot of tongue biting going on on your part. I find no matter how stressed I get with life when I go to bed and I'm still on track with plan I think ahh at least I'm in control with this and I sort of cling to it more! Either that or I go total other way!! U got a lot of time off work over Xmas? Any nights out planned? I have two the weekend after this 1 and really looking forward to drink more than anything!!!
Keep up good work- n listen to the cats purrrr! X
Keep up good work- n listen to the cats purrrr! X
Lose2Win
True Believer
At the moment my eating is the only thing I can control, which for me gives me some form of satisfaction amongst the turmoil that is my life. So you can take comfort that you are following the plan and your food destiny is in your hands!!!
Everything else will eventually sort itself out
Everything else will eventually sort itself out
bettiesrevenge
Gold Member
Oh I am the biological parent of a teenage girl (17) and my hubby is the step parent and BOY do they go at it hammer and tongs. It's hard, I feel for them both, and for myself for that matter. BUT, you sound like you have more influence, at 13 he is still "moldable" materials
I dont know how you cope being all over the country and doing this diet, I tried it last year, to get back on the waggon and it was so hard. It was the lack of availalable toilets mostly.
God I feel so poo, I was just checking in to say well done...now I can crawl back to my pit.
I dont know how you cope being all over the country and doing this diet, I tried it last year, to get back on the waggon and it was so hard. It was the lack of availalable toilets mostly.
God I feel so poo, I was just checking in to say well done...now I can crawl back to my pit.
bluegirl
Silver Member
Hi everyone, thanks for your messages and comments. I ended up having a row with the birth mother last night (really not sure what to call her polietly), anyway on the phone I challenged her decision making, with the proviso that I wanted to clear the air and if I didn't say what I was thinking I'd forever be angry with myself. Anyway, the response from her was 'I'm his mother, I'm closest to him and I know what's best for him' before I even thought about it the words 'is that why he's living with us then?'. You can imagine what followed. Safe to say I am now being blamed as contributing to the worst day of her life. Talk about dramatic. Anyway. I'm the bad guy. Nice to meet you!
In other news I've been whaled - loss of 3.75lbs - which because was done pre wee I am happy to count as 4lbs. Yippee!
And I find doing this diet away from home a benefit, I don't have to cook for anyone, I can avoid the fridge, and be locked up in my room with only packs and water for company every night! Xx
In other news I've been whaled - loss of 3.75lbs - which because was done pre wee I am happy to count as 4lbs. Yippee!
And I find doing this diet away from home a benefit, I don't have to cook for anyone, I can avoid the fridge, and be locked up in my room with only packs and water for company every night! Xx
damsel_inadress
Full Member
Ahhh, don't you just hate it when that happens!! My vocal chords often work minutes before my mind has decided on the appropriate answer. A few weeks a close friend announced he was back with his girlfriend (also a close friend) and I replied, "Well, that's a terrible idea!". We all have to be the bad guy sometimes right? I'm sure she will get over it in a few days!
Good on ya for being a step mum to a teenager.. I was a nightmare to mine but couldn't imagine life without her now!
Congrats on your journey so far. I was well impressed with your weekend away loss! Whoop whoop
Good on ya for being a step mum to a teenager.. I was a nightmare to mine but couldn't imagine life without her now!
Congrats on your journey so far. I was well impressed with your weekend away loss! Whoop whoop
bettiesrevenge
Gold Member
Utterly impressive.
You know what I think...it's classic absentee parentism.
I will give you some headlines of what Heather's absent father ludicrous behaviour has been like over the years.
* buying her a yorkshire terrier for her 7th birthday, without consultation. It was a REAL dog, not a animatronic version. You can imagine my face. I love dogs, but I work full time, she was at school full time = terrible idea.
* Paying for her to go and watch a band at manchester academy when she was 13, she missed the last train and got stuck - I then had to go and rescue her. I was under the impression she was staying with his mum (after I had spoken to him and they had picked her up)
* Encouraging her to go and get a body piercing at 15
*Encouraging her to go and get a tattoo at 16 (thankfully she never followed through after seeing the tattoo gun)
*Encouraging her to go to Leeds festival (by paying for her ticket) and lying to me (again) at 16.
they are just some of the more irresponsible, child pleaser highlights, they dont like being the bad guy, they like to be the irresponsible, fun good guy. Wouldnt we all, I mean it's nicer than having doors slammed in your face and "I hate you" bellowed through the keyhole.
Anyhoo...back to you lady - fair point about the travel, the thing is, I never got to abstain from my wifely/motherly duties, I was rarely able to do an overnight as the baby was only small at the time. SO...I envy you...grrrr.
You know what I think...it's classic absentee parentism.
I will give you some headlines of what Heather's absent father ludicrous behaviour has been like over the years.
* buying her a yorkshire terrier for her 7th birthday, without consultation. It was a REAL dog, not a animatronic version. You can imagine my face. I love dogs, but I work full time, she was at school full time = terrible idea.
* Paying for her to go and watch a band at manchester academy when she was 13, she missed the last train and got stuck - I then had to go and rescue her. I was under the impression she was staying with his mum (after I had spoken to him and they had picked her up)
* Encouraging her to go and get a body piercing at 15
*Encouraging her to go and get a tattoo at 16 (thankfully she never followed through after seeing the tattoo gun)
*Encouraging her to go to Leeds festival (by paying for her ticket) and lying to me (again) at 16.
they are just some of the more irresponsible, child pleaser highlights, they dont like being the bad guy, they like to be the irresponsible, fun good guy. Wouldnt we all, I mean it's nicer than having doors slammed in your face and "I hate you" bellowed through the keyhole.
Anyhoo...back to you lady - fair point about the travel, the thing is, I never got to abstain from my wifely/motherly duties, I was rarely able to do an overnight as the baby was only small at the time. SO...I envy you...grrrr.
Wow bettiesrevenge that's quite a list there! But yea I see way too many "nice" parents who say things like "if you keep misbehaving we won't go to McDonalds" (sorry food reference lol. - the kid continues to get worse and misbehave throwing tantrums n all sorts and after the parent finishes what they were doing ten minutes later - "come on then let's go to McDonalds"! If you apply that from a young age it's just easy short term but is actually selfish long term as you are pleasing yourself more than the long term well being of the child. I feel for both of you must be a tough one - I have no kids though i just observe! Have a good day x
bluegirl
Silver Member
Did you hear that swirling noise over the weekend? It ended with a big thud? That was me. I fell off, out and down.
As you know I'd been having problems with parenting. And then, I had to do a really stupid long shift miles away from home of Friday night. So, to get me through the 250 mile car journey without my usual supply of sweets, crisps and pop I had a latte half way. Skimmed milk and sweetener. No biggy. I would say it was a planned extravagance, it was allowed. I was ok with it. I worked until 1.30am and only had 2 packs all day. Hindsight tells me that was the mistake.
Journey home on Saturday included a mid point stop at Warwick services for a skinny Latte. I couldn't work out why I was so hungry. By the time I got back to Manchester at 2 ish I'd had 3 packs. Did my keytostix shortly after returning and it'd gone. No pink. Mnothing. No ketosis. Now this sent me half mad with panic. No ketosis means I'm hungry. Means I'm noton the diet. Means an excuse to eat.
So it was a controlled binge. But I had the same feelings that I used to have. Same blindness. Same feeling that I had to fill. I now recognise them.
I didn't go mad, but it wasn't planned. It wasn't accounted for. It was 3 packs, peanuts, cheese and Atkins bars. Imagine binging on Atkins bars, they're yack! The only thing I can see is that I was obviously, even n the panic remembering to avoid carbs.
So where does that leave me? Out of ketosis - not sure why I initially fellout - maybe just a quirk, maybe a dud test stick, but enough for me to lose control. So why did I lose control. Maybe just the week I'd had, maybe my TOTM. Maybe because I just had to in order to make me feel those feelings, see the warnings signs for next time and document them on here.
So I'm now in Newcastle. Here until Thursday. I feel tired, emotional and really just want to eat. But I remember something that bettiesrevenge said. How much out of 10 do you want to binge? The answer, honestly, thinking about how I feel after, 2/10. And how much do I want to lose weight, feel healthier, be in control? 8/10. So that does it. I need to get back on track.
Today, I've had 3 packs. Waiting to have number 4 before bed. Haven't got any scales because I have a previous manic addicition to them, so I've 4 days to get back on track. Tuesday is a works night out. 3 courses booked and paid for. Other than that I belong to Cambridge.
Thanks for listening xx
As you know I'd been having problems with parenting. And then, I had to do a really stupid long shift miles away from home of Friday night. So, to get me through the 250 mile car journey without my usual supply of sweets, crisps and pop I had a latte half way. Skimmed milk and sweetener. No biggy. I would say it was a planned extravagance, it was allowed. I was ok with it. I worked until 1.30am and only had 2 packs all day. Hindsight tells me that was the mistake.
Journey home on Saturday included a mid point stop at Warwick services for a skinny Latte. I couldn't work out why I was so hungry. By the time I got back to Manchester at 2 ish I'd had 3 packs. Did my keytostix shortly after returning and it'd gone. No pink. Mnothing. No ketosis. Now this sent me half mad with panic. No ketosis means I'm hungry. Means I'm noton the diet. Means an excuse to eat.
So it was a controlled binge. But I had the same feelings that I used to have. Same blindness. Same feeling that I had to fill. I now recognise them.
I didn't go mad, but it wasn't planned. It wasn't accounted for. It was 3 packs, peanuts, cheese and Atkins bars. Imagine binging on Atkins bars, they're yack! The only thing I can see is that I was obviously, even n the panic remembering to avoid carbs.
So where does that leave me? Out of ketosis - not sure why I initially fellout - maybe just a quirk, maybe a dud test stick, but enough for me to lose control. So why did I lose control. Maybe just the week I'd had, maybe my TOTM. Maybe because I just had to in order to make me feel those feelings, see the warnings signs for next time and document them on here.
So I'm now in Newcastle. Here until Thursday. I feel tired, emotional and really just want to eat. But I remember something that bettiesrevenge said. How much out of 10 do you want to binge? The answer, honestly, thinking about how I feel after, 2/10. And how much do I want to lose weight, feel healthier, be in control? 8/10. So that does it. I need to get back on track.
Today, I've had 3 packs. Waiting to have number 4 before bed. Haven't got any scales because I have a previous manic addicition to them, so I've 4 days to get back on track. Tuesday is a works night out. 3 courses booked and paid for. Other than that I belong to Cambridge.
Thanks for listening xx
bluegirl
Silver Member
Oh and in other news. The thing that I was so bothered about the other mother doing on Friday. She slept in so it didn't happen. All that worry and stress and she just proved her previous form and missed the appointment from pure laziness.
Sorry. Sometimes I just have to rant! Xx
Sorry. Sometimes I just have to rant! Xx
bluegirl
Silver Member
Evening ladies, sorry for lack in posts and support. I've done 2 13 hour days the week. Had to get some commercial stuff done so stuck in a room with lawyers. How I wanted to EAT! But hey I didn't! Mainly because I knew last night was our Christmas do, well meal and I planned and wanted to go. So as a vegetarian I didn't have choice on the menu, so mushroom soup, I didn't eat the bread roll, Brie Wellington - I didn't eat the roasties but managed a couple of bits of veg. Pudding was chocolate nemesis, which was really a brownie. I had 2 bites, just couldn't resist. No mince pies, no mints, just a black coffee with sweetener. Went of to a few bars in Newcastle and stuck to water. Can't tell you how supportive all my colleagues have been. Not one of them criticised my diet, and they're all really interested in how much I'm losing and how my shape is changing. Even the blokes were interested in a quick weight loss.
So, after all that i am not expecting to lose this week, but I can live with that. I can even live with a gain as I know it'll only be water and glycogen.
My plan going forward. Next time out is Tuesday eve, I'm eating but not drinking. Buffet at the office on Wednesday, I'm not going to eat. Christmas day I'm having veggies and not much else.
How are you all doing? Thank you so much for your comments and support xxx
So, after all that i am not expecting to lose this week, but I can live with that. I can even live with a gain as I know it'll only be water and glycogen.
My plan going forward. Next time out is Tuesday eve, I'm eating but not drinking. Buffet at the office on Wednesday, I'm not going to eat. Christmas day I'm having veggies and not much else.
How are you all doing? Thank you so much for your comments and support xxx
bettiesrevenge
Gold Member
Yay! You are rocking the spangle with great effect! You are making your diet choice into a lifestyle and thats how it's got to be!
Reading spangle day 4 about boundaries, it's all about saying"here is the line and I don't go beyond it" you did the two bite rule on desert and had a touch of mushroom soup sans bread roll. Kudos!
Reading spangle day 4 about boundaries, it's all about saying"here is the line and I don't go beyond it" you did the two bite rule on desert and had a touch of mushroom soup sans bread roll. Kudos!
bluegirl
Silver Member
I'm fan-blimmin-tastic, and it feels so much better than feeling bloated, full and hungover. Thanks for pointing me in spangles direction. I've found some of it useful. I'm looking at the "when you eat at the fridge...." which I'm finding really easy to read, short chunks I can pick up and read in the day. It's all helping to change how I view me, and view where and who I want to end up xx
damsel_inadress
Full Member
Congrats Bluegirl,
That must have taken some will power! You know what they say, the first two bites are the only ones you really taste. Bet your glad for a night of though
That must have taken some will power! You know what they say, the first two bites are the only ones you really taste. Bet your glad for a night of though
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