notsoskinnymarge
Marge
Oh wow that's a great loss.
Nearly 3 stone in 2 months is fab
Nearly 3 stone in 2 months is fab
Blue's last chance with exante.
- Thread starter Blue Butterfly
- Start date
Blue Butterfly
Gold Member
Well I knew something would happen to crush the happy! I've been in such a great mood the last few days but........
I found out last night that the whole sexual abuse thing story has made its way into a couple of newspapers They have loads of details about me, no idea how they got them. Feel like crap now
I am about to call the doctor though because I cant cope while all this is going on, I need help somehow.
Just hope they have an appointment today, I cant stop shaking
I found out last night that the whole sexual abuse thing story has made its way into a couple of newspapers
They have loads of details about me, no idea how they got them. Feel like crap now I am about to call the doctor though because I cant cope while all this is going on, I need help somehow.
Just hope they have an appointment today, I cant stop shaking
notsoskinnymarge
Marge
Awww Blue
Thinking of you xxx
Thinking of you xxx
Blue Butterfly
Gold Member
Thanks ladies
The police called this morning (well the one guy who did my interview, he's been in contact a lot and it really supportive) and asked if I've talked to any reporters over the last few days.
I said nope. They know who went to the papers, they were just checking to see if anyone had gotten my full details somehow.
The police then went on to say I *should* talk to the papers and get some money out of this! He said after all I've been through a few hundred ££ is the least I deserve!
I don't think I'm going to though, would be a bit weird.....although some money would be nice!
The police called this morning (well the one guy who did my interview, he's been in contact a lot and it really supportive) and asked if I've talked to any reporters over the last few days.
I said nope. They know who went to the papers, they were just checking to see if anyone had gotten my full details somehow.
The police then went on to say I *should* talk to the papers and get some money out of this! He said after all I've been through a few hundred ££ is the least I deserve!
I don't think I'm going to though, would be a bit weird.....although some money would be nice!
Blue Butterfly
Gold Member
Definitely wont be going to the police, I'm getting abuse as it is without more people knowing about what's happened and what's going on now
Finding it really hard to cope right now.
Spent last night in hospital because I'd let everything get to me, my head was all over the place, I cut a lot and after that was a blur....my family and doctor who was called out were worried about me because apparently I was not myself at all (go figure!)
The psych at the hospital reckons I am having an emotional breakdown.
I am sitting here right now crying....but not really crying. I just have tears streaming down my face, I'm like a leaky tap atm.
I just feel........nothing. Empty. It's a horrible feeling.
I haven't even been able to come home and rest quietly to get my head straight.
The f*cktards upstairs are being SO noisy. I cant take this noise anymore, I wanna go up there and stab the first person who answers the door. I've never hated people so much in my life.
I have a doctors appointment but that isn't until 8th may. God knows what's gonna happen between now and then. I would just like to disappear forever. :wave_cry:
Sorry my diary is all doom and gloom.
I don't want to feel this down, I would give anything to not feel like this.
Finding it really hard to cope right now.
Spent last night in hospital because I'd let everything get to me, my head was all over the place, I cut a lot and after that was a blur....my family and doctor who was called out were worried about me because apparently I was not myself at all (go figure!)
The psych at the hospital reckons I am having an emotional breakdown.
I am sitting here right now crying....but not really crying. I just have tears streaming down my face, I'm like a leaky tap atm.
I just feel........nothing. Empty. It's a horrible feeling.
I haven't even been able to come home and rest quietly to get my head straight.
The f*cktards upstairs are being SO noisy. I cant take this noise anymore, I wanna go up there and stab the first person who answers the door. I've never hated people so much in my life.
I have a doctors appointment but that isn't until 8th may. God knows what's gonna happen between now and then. I would just like to disappear forever. :wave_cry:
Sorry my diary is all doom and gloom.
I don't want to feel this down, I would give anything to not feel like this.
jael001
Gold Member
Oh hon If you were at the hospital did they not offer any kind of follow up? If they think you're having an emotional breakdown then just sending you home isnt going to help is it? You shouldn't have to wait a week to see someone, not in the state you're in.
I wish I could do something to help but I can only offer virtual hugs right now :bighug:
If you were at the hospital did they not offer any kind of follow up? If they think you're having an emotional breakdown then just sending you home isnt going to help is it? You shouldn't have to wait a week to see someone, not in the state you're in. I wish I could do something to help but I can only offer virtual hugs right now :bighug:
Blue Butterfly
Gold Member
Thanks Jael.
I know I sound a little over-dramatic but when you're feeling down you feel like nothing is ever gonna be right again!
When I was at the hospital they told me that I could either agree to see a psychiatrist (but waiting list is 6-8 weeks) or they would admit me to the closest mental health unit.
I obv don't want to be committed because once you are in the mental health system (involuntarily) it's sometimes difficult to get out again.
So I've agreed to see a psych when my appointment comes through and they have re-referred me to my cpn again so I should hear from her soon.
I know being on holiday in just over a weeks time will be great for me. Cant be coming at a better time really. Cant wait to be away from everything for a little while.
When I come back hopefully my head will be clearer and I can start getting things back on track....starting with finding somewhere else to live.
I know I sound a little over-dramatic but when you're feeling down you feel like nothing is ever gonna be right again!
When I was at the hospital they told me that I could either agree to see a psychiatrist (but waiting list is 6-8 weeks) or they would admit me to the closest mental health unit.
I obv don't want to be committed because once you are in the mental health system (involuntarily) it's sometimes difficult to get out again.
So I've agreed to see a psych when my appointment comes through and they have re-referred me to my cpn again so I should hear from her soon.
I know being on holiday in just over a weeks time will be great for me. Cant be coming at a better time really. Cant wait to be away from everything for a little while.
When I come back hopefully my head will be clearer and I can start getting things back on track....starting with finding somewhere else to live.
notsoskinnymarge
Marge
Oh blue x
I hope that the stress goes for you soon xxx
I hope that the stress goes for you soon xxx
Blue Butterfly
Gold Member
Well I'm feeling a little better.
Not coping too much with the noisy ******* in the flat upstairs but I'm at a loss as to where I go from here, don't know who to report it to when the housing association and environmental health refuse to do anything.
Good news on the heat/hot water front though! I called up today and everyone I spoke to just kept apologising and saying they thought it had been fixed weeks ago.
Someone will be out Thursday to fix everything, yay.
I also have a doctors appointment tomorrow at 4pm to try and get my moods sorted out at least.
Also since being diagnosed with sleep apnoea (where you stop breathing in your sleep due to soft tissue closing up in your throat or something like that!) I have been having difficulty swallowing and nearly drown myself sometimes when having a drink because it wont go down, that's a little scary. So gonna ask my doctor what's going on there.
And my holiday is just 5 days away
Feeling much more positive and still sticking to exante so woop!
Not coping too much with the noisy ******* in the flat upstairs but I'm at a loss as to where I go from here, don't know who to report it to when the housing association and environmental health refuse to do anything.
Good news on the heat/hot water front though! I called up today and everyone I spoke to just kept apologising and saying they thought it had been fixed weeks ago.
Someone will be out Thursday to fix everything, yay.
I also have a doctors appointment tomorrow at 4pm to try and get my moods sorted out at least.
Also since being diagnosed with sleep apnoea (where you stop breathing in your sleep due to soft tissue closing up in your throat or something like that!) I have been having difficulty swallowing and nearly drown myself sometimes when having a drink because it wont go down, that's a little scary. So gonna ask my doctor what's going on there.
And my holiday is just 5 days away
Feeling much more positive and still sticking to exante so woop!
Blue Butterfly
Gold Member
Hey everyone, thanks for the lovely positive comments
@Vixter, enjoy your holiday! This is my first every 'proper' holiday Only ever had weekends away, this time I'll be away for 8 days which will be heaven I'm sure!
Well things at the doctors went better than expected.
I've been referred for counselling at the hospitals psychiatric place, they have amazing psychiatrists there so I'm positive this is going to be good.
I have to go to the local sexual health clinic because the police have asked my doctor for a full examination and the doctor has been lovely about it, talking me through everything and is making my appointment for me.
I've been put back on some anti-depressants for now and also been given something for when I have my panic attacks.
So all a big step in the right direction I think.
Tomorrow my mum and sister are coming round to mine for a 'girls' day! So another thing to look forward to.
They are going to help me get my suitcase from the back of the junk cupboard in the hallway! Then I can start packing for my holiday, wooohooo
I hope all you lovelies have had a great day x
@Vixter, enjoy your holiday! This is my first every 'proper' holiday
Only ever had weekends away, this time I'll be away for 8 days which will be heaven I'm sure!Well things at the doctors went better than expected.
I've been referred for counselling at the hospitals psychiatric place, they have amazing psychiatrists there so I'm positive this is going to be good.
I have to go to the local sexual health clinic because the police have asked my doctor for a full examination and the doctor has been lovely about it, talking me through everything and is making my appointment for me.
I've been put back on some anti-depressants for now and also been given something for when I have my panic attacks.
So all a big step in the right direction I think.
Tomorrow my mum and sister are coming round to mine for a 'girls' day! So another thing to look forward to.
They are going to help me get my suitcase from the back of the junk cupboard in the hallway! Then I can start packing for my holiday, wooohooo
I hope all you lovelies have had a great day x
notsoskinnymarge
Marge
Wow blue !
That all sounds great.
I am glad now that you went to your docs before your holiday. At least you can relax whilst away
Happy packing
That all sounds great.
I am glad now that you went to your docs before your holiday. At least you can relax whilst away
Happy packing
