Exante WILL help me lose 3 stone

[curveappeal]

OH MY GOD. My brain today. Give it a rest. It's doing the same thing as yesterday - Giving me a head ache making me think about the same thing over and over. Does anyone else find this diet doesn't help if you have mild depression / anxiety? Yesterday it was the dresses, now I'm thinking about past mistakes and regrets from YEARS ago. It's like my brain just wants SOMETHING to be negative about? JEEEZ! xx

Id say it's the drop in serotonin that most naughty food gives ya that causes the downers xx

 

[Angel72]

OMG I do the same thing. I haven't slept properly for weeks now. My head keeps playing back conversations, dreading and rehearsing for next meetings with people I've disagreed with or have upset me, agonising over choices of building materials, flooring, paint. Stressing about money, panicking about work, even replaying stuff from childhood. You name it and I'm super analysing it at 4am.

Ketosis is apparently a great state for the brain to get energy in so thinking becomes clearer and you have to sleep less. It doesn't help if you're anxious because it means we go into analysis hyperdrive. We need to find a way to let things go but it's not easy.

A friend bought me a little notebook to write one liners in of happy things experienced in a day, from nice comments or thoughtful deeds or even the fact that the sun feels nice when I'm out. It's nice to look at when I'm stressed because it gives my brain a happier angle to remember. We tend to forget the nice stuff because the crappy stuff can feel overwhelming sometimes.

I hope the brain storm calms down soon. Maybe Alfie can help distract have a good evening x

 

[curveappeal]

OMG I do the same thing. I haven't slept properly for weeks now. My head keeps playing back conversations, dreading and rehearsing for next meetings with people I've disagreed with or have upset me, agonising over choices of building materials, flooring, paint. Stressing about money, panicking about work, even replaying stuff from childhood. You name it and I'm super analysing it at 4am.

Ketosis is apparently a great state for the brain to get energy in so thinking becomes clearer and you have to sleep less. It doesn't help if you're anxious because it means we go into analysis hyperdrive. We need to find a way to let things go but it's not easy.

A friend bought me a little notebook to write one liners in of happy things experienced in a day, from nice comments or thoughtful deeds or even the fact that the sun feels nice when I'm out. It's nice to look at when I'm stressed because it gives my brain a happier angle to remember. We tend to forget the nice stuff because the crappy stuff can feel overwhelming sometimes.

I hope the brain storm calms down soon. Maybe Alfie can help distract have a good evening x

I'm the exact opposite.. I'm normally a high functioning list making multitasker... on shakes??? Fuzzy brained hermet lol

 

[Empath]

now I'm thinking about past mistakes and regrets from YEARS ago. It's like my brain just wants SOMETHING to be negative about? JEEEZ!

Oh, I can totally relate, and I'm not even into the TS yet!!

"Yes, brain, thanks - I needed that reminder about that fight I had in pre-school, and re-playing my first crush on a bloody loop...
now can we focus on how GREAT my ASS is going to LOOK in my skinny-jeans so I can get some damned sleep tonight?"

 

[Queen Bizzle]

Aww I'm glad it's not just me! Thanks guys! It helps to know I'm not alone. I agree with the food induced serotonin or lack of being a factor. I think it's TOTM too which prob isn't helping. I'm a natural worrier anyway. But I feel like I've had a lot more down days recently since starting the diet, even before the stuff with Cath / bridesmaids dresses / failing a module at uni etc. Maybe down is the wrong word to use, it's more just having obsessive thinking patterns that focus around regrets, old mistakes and things I have no way of changing! I've been like it a bit at work tonight, especially when it was quiet. Weird how I brains work.

I think a happy list is a good idea. Thank you angel. I wrote a list at the start of the year of things I'd achieved in 2014 and felt so happy and accomplished. Maybe something similar would be a good idea for now. I do worry a lot, and then I worry about how much I worry then I worry about the reasons behind my worried nature. It's a nightmare! And also ridiculous when I see it written down haha!

Hopefully tomorrow will bring new light and less dwelling. There's that word again. Why am I always dwelling! Least not dwelling on dresses, the bride never replied, but in happy with how I left it ... I do think this will be a hell of a lot easier as soon as I start a new project, cause then that's all I think or talk about. At the start of this diet it was so new and exciting, I felt like the diet was a personal project and it was good that I had that to focus on. Now it's more of habit, and as I haven't started uni work I'm just working for other people. I have more time to think at intern and pub, neither require a lot of decision making so my mind can wander.

I also need to cling on to what's happened to cath and use that to stop my worrying. My regrets are nothing on what she's going through. I need to get over myself!!

Oh and cath is on a plane!! As we speak!!! Can't wait to see her next week!

Anyway I've rambled on a lot for 3am. And I haven't even talked about the diet!!! Will update diet wise tomorrow! Xx

 

[Queen Bizzle]

Diary

Week 5

Day 2 - Friday

So yesterday was a long day - gym, intern, pub til 2am. So I decided to man plan kinda. Was also a bit like TS plus. Basically my own version just so I could have a REAL meal.





I kept my carbs under 60g and cals under 800.

Worked out in gym and was on my feet most of the day. Xx

 

[Queen Bizzle]

Today plan :

At work at the pub 12pm-8pm

Coffee for breakfast ... Eat as little as poss during work!

Shake for lunch & Bovril for snack

2 packs left for the evening.

3L Of water.

And blocking out negative thoughts with positive ones! I've wrote a note on my phone to help keep my brain from relapsing!

 

[Queen Bizzle]

Todays mantra - repeat:

You're a good person

You made mistakes, everyone does, but they have made you grow and you've learnt from them. You've made up for them now and moved on.

You have drawn a line under that bad time and not everything must be dragged up again, discussed and dwelled upon

Without your mistakes you may have not been where you are today

Without your mistakes you may not be living in London and going to a good university

 

[curveappeal]

Todays mantra - repeat:

You're a good person

You made mistakes, everyone does, but they have made you grow and you've learnt from them. You've made up for them now and moved on.

You have drawn a line under that bad time and not everything must be dragged up again, discussed and dwelled upon

Without your mistakes you may have not been where you are today

Without your mistakes you may not be living in London and going to a good university

Perfect!!!! Sounds great

 

[ExanteLesley]

Great mantra! You can do it x

 

[Queen Bizzle]

Thanks girls!! I ended up having an ups and downs day yest. I had a rant on curves diary and everyone's advice left me on a high. I felt like I wasn't alone and it made me feel normal!! I even offered to stay late at work as I was all bubbly. But then it got to 10pm and all the negative feelings came back.

All I'd had to eat was a shake and chicken shish with salad.

I spoke to Alfie in the eve and he told me off for not eating enough and said I'm gonna make myself ill he's supportive of my weight loss and he's fine with the exante TS if I'm doing it properly, but I keep waiting til really late until I eat anything at all (like 5pm yest) and sometimes I will substitute packs for zero carb food...he reckons that's what's making me so miserable. He says everything is perfect right now, that these feelings aren't real and so I'm looking in to my past to find things to be upset about to allow my depression to have something to focus on. These things haven't bothered me for years so why now? I think he's right. I need to treat my body & mind with a bit more respect.

I've agreed to start eating my packs earlier to see if that helps with these negative thoughts. I only want to eat late in case I get hungry in the eve, but if I do get hungry I guess I can just man plan and have some chicken. It's not worth draining myself and also him. He is in the middle of Cambridge exams so I should be being here for him, not the other way round! He was really stern yesterday so I know he's worried about me. He said I need to have a long think about what is best for me and if I want to keep TSing I need to be sensible with it.

I'm borrowing a book from my friend today about some kind of life enlightenment. She has a life coach who gives her great books. I think that's a positive thing to do for my mind. I've also already had a shake and brought another one to work.

I feel really really awful again this morning. Back to where I was yesterday. I think I need to start keeping a mental diary for my poor brain as well as a diet one for my body. I want to start writing down all my positives for each day to remind myself that life is great. And I will start on my uni project tomorrow as that is always on my mind usually, hopefully that will keep my brain too busy to think about the past. And hopefully eating earlier will make me feel better anyway! Xx

 

[Queen Bizzle]

ALSO on a massive woman flex, I've noticed some massive TOTM difference since starting. Mainly cause I'm actually having it now :/ I have the implant so for a year and a half I've not had it at all, maybe a mini one here n there but nothing like now. This is a proper one and is maybe contributing to all this negativity. Has anyone else noticed any changes. I thought VLCDs stopped them of anything! X

 

[Queen Bizzle]

ME AGAIN?! Does anyone know if there are any good, non judgemental mental health forums where I could keep a diary and get feedback like i do here? xx

 

[Angel72]

Hey Biz. Alfie sounds a great guy with good advice. Having regular packs every 4 hours will keep your blood sugar even. Drops and spikes can make a big difference to moods. I find I feel things more keenly on VLCD because I'm not burying feelings in food. A written diary could be a great idea but you always have here too.

My TOTM cycle shortens and becomes much more regular on Exante.

Good luck with your uni project. X

 

[Lily]

Thanks girls!! I ended up having an ups and downs day yest. I had a rant on curves diary and everyone's advice left me on a high. I felt like I wasn't alone and it made me feel normal!! I even offered to stay late at work as I was all bubbly. But then it got to 10pm and all the negative feelings came back.

All I'd had to eat was a shake and chicken shish with salad.

I spoke to Alfie in the eve and he told me off for not eating enough and said I'm gonna make myself ill he's supportive of my weight loss and he's fine with the exante TS if I'm doing it properly, but I keep waiting til really late until I eat anything at all (like 5pm yest) and sometimes I will substitute packs for zero carb food...he reckons that's what's making me so miserable. He says everything is perfect right now, that these feelings aren't real and so I'm looking in to my past to find things to be upset about to allow my depression to have something to focus on. These things haven't bothered me for years so why now? I think he's right. I need to treat my body & mind with a bit more respect.

I've agreed to start eating my packs earlier to see if that helps with these negative thoughts. I only want to eat late in case I get hungry in the eve, but if I do get hungry I guess I can just man plan and have some chicken. It's not worth draining myself and also him. He is in the middle of Cambridge exams so I should be being here for him, not the other way round! He was really stern yesterday so I know he's worried about me. He said I need to have a long think about what is best for me and if I want to keep TSing I need to be sensible with it.

I'm borrowing a book from my friend today about some kind of life enlightenment. She has a life coach who gives her great books. I think that's a positive thing to do for my mind. I've also already had a shake and brought another one to work.

I feel really really awful again this morning. Back to where I was yesterday. I think I need to start keeping a mental diary for my poor brain as well as a diet one for my body. I want to start writing down all my positives for each day to remind myself that life is great. And I will start on my uni project tomorrow as that is always on my mind usually, hopefully that will keep my brain too busy to think about the past. And hopefully eating earlier will make me feel better anyway! Xx

I've been quietly reading your posts for a while now - particularly love your reviews of Exante products.

Re the negative thoughts - it's the free time. It's all the bl**dy free time. :sigh: Eating generally takes up a huge part of the day. Shopping for food, cooking and preparing food, washing up afterwards. All of a sudden, when you do a VLCD, you've got spare hours in the day where there were none before. And, if you've always used food as a diversion, what can you do instead? Well, I think think think think think when I'm VLCD-ing. Tie myself up in knots, revisit past hurts, worry about future encounters, obsess about things I should've done differently. Plus - and this is an interesting one - dieting reduces the amount of a particular type of thyroid hormone in your body. It's called triiodothyronine and there's less of it because your body, responding to impending famine (AKA your weight loss diet) has down regulated production to preserve energy. Of course, that's the last thing we dieters want it to do, but that's what it's supposed to do, and we prone to being larger folk are really good at it. It's no comfort at all in these times of plenty that we are the people who would have survived actual famine and food shortages - the skinny ones would have keeled over and died.

There's no way of upping production except coming off the diet - so we're kind of stuck with it. But what many people - including doctors - don't realise is that if you're low in thyroid hormones you'll be low in mood. It actually is a side effect of dieting - feeling down. So, you're probably not as low in mood in reality as you think you are - what you're feeling is horribly normal. So the battle - as if dieting isn't battle enough in itself - is to find coping strategies. Writing down your feelings like you are now, taking up a new hobby, or even punching a pillow - whatever works!

I spend a lot of time writing here when I'm dieting. The people who come here to share their dieting battles are among the most lovely people I've ever met - and seem to understand, even when I'm having my worst day.

Alfie does sound lovely but make sure whatever decisions you make about the way you want to diet are your decisions, not his. We don't diet for other people - we do it for us.

Big hugs :hug99:

 

[GreenEyedGirl]

Hi QB, just wanted to drop by and give you a hug :bighug:

 

[Queen Bizzle]

MORNING!!

Thank you guys! It's so annoying that food is now not even really the battle for me! Well, I guess it still is as its the lack of it that's making me a miserable cow bag, even food is not making me crave it, it's still emotionally effecting me. I've overcome the hunger, I'm able to stick to plan so easily - great, good job. But I guess I just need to be more regimented with what I eat and when. No one ever said this would be easy!!

Yesterday I felt loads better making sure I ate earlier and more regularly. I had half a shake at 12 when I got to work, then half at 2pm. Then some chicken snacks at 4pm. By 6pm I was all happy and hyper (victory) and wanting to go out as I'd been stuck working in the pub all weekend. Me and my work mates decided to go out when we finished the shift.

So here's where I go off plan a bit.

I line my stomach with loads of chicken, well done here We buy a bottle of rum, and each buy our own mini bottles of coke as we all want different cokes, me obviously needing zero. Good idea again. We had a few drinks at mine getting ready, and for the journey, some bright spark tips all the rum in to the diet coke for us to take. So I end up drinking diet coke which I've resisted for 5 weeks. Round of applause.

It's a Sunday night and nowhere is really open, or it's just not any good. We wanna go dancing really and everywhere is really quiet. We wander round East London for ages just popping in places but having loads a fun just being out and about. By the time we reach more central London, one friend is so drunk that were now not even allowed in places. Ah well, there's still off-licences open! The world is our bar!

We buy cans of g&t and decide to walk down the river. There was no one around for miles and the views down there at night are amazing! I remember getting a few buses here n there, but we must've walked miles! My feet are killing! I'm eating pork scratching trying to stay away from the carbs, but my mates got a massive thing of Pringles which I also ended up eating and I can't remember how many.

After walking for what feels like forever, we end up in a 24hr McDonald's at 2am. I opt for the chicken selects, but end up also eating mozzarella dippers and quite a few bits of this chicken burger thing.

GOD KNOWS IF IM STILL IN KETOSIS??

I don't even know where to start carb counting in myfitnesspal.

Despite the food errors. The night out really lifted my mood, maybe not now as I'm hungover but I can focus on that rather than being negative for no reason. And before I went out and I was feeling happy, I made myself think the negative thoughts on purpose, to see if they still bothered me, and they really didn't. They made me laugh. I need to cling on to that so tightly and remember - food alters your mood, which alters your perception of your feelings. ITS NOT REAL.

 

[Queen Bizzle]

Victory- size 14 jeans - hello!!!

 

[honeyz]

well done, looking good x

 

[ExanteLesley]

Sounds like a good night out, and just what you needed! Hope the good mood continues! x