Flirty's diary ...............

[flirty40greeneyes]

You are so not a ditherer so take that back!! You are really encouraging to others on here and we will be here to support you (well I know I will and think the others will).

As for finding out things were too tight. At least you didnt lie to yourself and say 'all those clothes must of shrunk in the wash, fancy that'!! No Flirty kicked her proverbial ass and made the best choice for her now that new information had come to light.

So your doing the 790, So What, at least you can eat on it and at least it cuts out the tempting things that you thought may have been your downfall!!

I think that you have done brill so far and you have done brill in this decision. Im there right with you girl!!!

Oh bless Claire - thank you ... why do your posts always make me weepy???!!!! In a nice way!! My middle daughter is called Claire - maybe we have a connection??

Laughed at the shrunk in wash comment - as that's exactly what my OH reckons has happened to his trousers and shirts!! Mmmmmm strange my daughter and son are not having the same problem with their clothes! Must be a selective washing machine!!!!

 

[happygal]

Flirty Said:
Laughed at the shrunk in wash comment - as that's exactly what my OH reckons has happened to his trousers and shirts!! Mmmmmm strange my daughter and son are not having the same problem with their clothes! Must be a selective washing machine!!!!

Im laughing my tits off at this one. Selective washing machine!! lol Now I have heard of selective hearing but that takes the biscuit (or dosent if its on a vlcd).

Your post just had the same effect on me. I had literally tears runnning down my cheeks. I think u deserve some rep for that so I will try to give you more!!

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

Well can't sleep - so on here .... really am addicted aren't I???!!

Day 1 over and I feel such a sense of achievement. Not because i've got to the end of a day without cheating ... I've been there before - only to cheat the next day! but because I got inside my own head today and recognised that if I'd done the 1500/1200/1000 plans I'd have failed. I can't eat just 2 choc chip biscuits, 1 small hot cross bun and whatever other lovely snacks were on the menu. For me to diet has to be SS or maybe 790 - and for today or yesterday (god I'm confused!) it worked.

My ex is an alcoholic - not recovering but doing things his way. He use to drink a bottle of vodka a day and then became a not very nice person. We went to AA for him and Al-anon for me and learnt about the 12 steps and how to take one day at a time. He has not stopped drinking - just stopped drinking vodka - for which he is a nicer person and for today that suits him. But I've not put that into practise myself ... and went charging ahead of myself. Today I've conquered my diet - tomorrow is another day. I must dig out my old Al-anon books as they have a quote for different occasions/days and they apply in all life circumstances not just alcohol related.

So today I had my 3 shakes, a lovely chicken breast fillet cooked in garlic granules and herbs, broccoli, cauliflower and sugar snap peas. My daughter had the same but with potatoes and gravy and my partner the same minus the chicken (he's veggie). I enjoyed cooking for them, eating with them and being back in control - which I wouldn't have been on 1500 cal plan. So tomorrow is the same - but with salad instead of veg and potato salad for the non CD members of my family!

I feel really positive now and hope that tomorrow is as good as today.

 

[happygal]

Flirty Said:
Today I've conquered my diet - tomorrow is another day. I must dig out my old Al-anon books as they have a quote for different occasions/days and they apply in all life circumstances not just alcohol related.

So today I had my 3 shakes, a lovely chicken breast fillet cooked in garlic granules and herbs, broccoli, cauliflower and sugar snap peas. My daughter had the same but with potatoes and gravy and my partner the same minus the chicken (he's veggie). I enjoyed cooking for them, eating with them and being back in control - which I wouldn't have been on 1500 cal plan. So tomorrow is the same - but with salad instead of veg and potato salad for the non CD members of my family!

I feel really positive now and hope that tomorrow is as good as today.

You are now at the top of a mountain looking down into a valley of paradise. There is water flowing through the valley that is clear and cleansing. It will wash away the guilt of the past and rejuvenate that control that you now possess.

Once you are in control now it will be easier. You knew how to follow it before but without being in control it didnt work. Guess what!!!! Now that you are in control you can make it all work!!! Every last bit will work out because you now have the power to make things happen. And after you finish the decent down the mountain you can bask in the clear waters flowing through the valley of paridise!!

ps if this sounds like drivel Im sorry! lol

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

You are now at the top of a mountain looking down into a valley of paradise. There is water flowing through the valley that is clear and cleansing. It will wash away the guilt of the past and rejuvenate that control that you now possess.

Once you are in control now it will be easier. You knew how to follow it before but without being in control it didnt work. Guess what!!!! Now that you are in control you can make it all work!!! Every last bit will work out because you now have the power to make things happen. And after you finish the decent down the mountain you can bask in the clear waters flowing through the valley of paridise!!

ps if this sounds like drivel Im sorry! lol

Not at all - but I want some of what you're on Claire!!! Only joking - what you say sounds exactly where I want to be!

 

[happygal]

Flirty Said:
Not at all - but I want some of what you're on Claire!!! Only joking - what you say sounds exactly where I want to be!

Even I want some of what Im on!! LOL

Just being very philosophical today. Its like Im seeing things a little more clearly than before. spent a lot of time praying thinking etc and just came out of it kind of rejuvenated. So Im a bit high!! Prob why Im still up at this time!!

Im glad I have described exactly where you wanna be cause thats were your gonna be when you lose this weight. Im not saying that it will be easy. Im sure that occasionally there will be rough currents in that river that flows through. But you will be able to look back and see so clearly where you came from and realise that you want to stay in paradise!

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

I'm really pleased 2lb off this morning ......... so only another 26 to go!!!! Won't update my ticker until every week's loss.

Feeling really positive and drinking so much water. I will succeed this time, I wonder what it was that clicked yesterday that hasn't other days??? Oh well if I could work that one out I'd make a fortune!

Good luck to other day 2ers and anyone else who is in the early days.

 

[Roch]

Morning Beverley hun u will sucseed as u r a fighter u just have 2 start believing in yourself more as u r a special lady with so much going for u,and we all know it.

U will soon lose that 26 pounds and feel happy and contented.
Beverley like i said b4 u have alot on your plate at the momment but making small changes and getting back in control is the way forward and that is what u r achieveing now.
Soon u will be SSing aagin and by the time that comes round u will only have a small amount of weight left 2 lose.

We r all here with u on this journey holding your hand and spurring u on and celebrating each pound u lose that gets u nearer to your prize.

Sorry if i have waffled on quite a bit this morning and maybe not made alot of sense this morning, am feeling emotional and also a bit high on pain killers as have chronic sciatica and taking 8 strong painkillers each day just to be able to function.

Have a good day hun and catch u later xxx

 

[Petal01]

Hi Beverley just want to add my tuppence worth on your 2lbs weightloss! u'll get rid of the other 26lbs in no time!

 

[happygal]

Flirty Said:
I'm really pleased 2lb off this morning ......... so only another 26 to go!!!! Won't update my ticker until every week's loss.

Feeling really positive and drinking so much water. I will succeed this time, I wonder what it was that clicked yesterday that hasn't other days??? Oh well if I could work that one out I'd make a fortune!

Good luck to other day 2ers and anyone else who is in the early days.

Thats brilliant!! Look at what a day can change!! This should make you more determined to forge on to the end of the week. Imagine what your loss will be after a week!!

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

Thanks Tracie - and will keep checking on you too - no falling off this bandwagon now!

Roch - what can I say??? You too have a lot on your plate ... and keep going, you are amazing!!!

I may have a lot on my plate (figuratively speaking!!!) but it is always fairly full. My life has always seemed to be one drama after another - and not always my doing, but my family and the people I hook up with. That said I wouldn't have it any other way .... but what I am waffling on about here is to say that it is unlikely that there will ever be a calm/serene time in my life where I can potter about and do the diet nice and quietly ........ so having thought that through in my reflective mode yesterday - decided now was the time to grab the bull by the horns (not sure what I am meant to do with him now - and it's scary having him here in front of me!!) But I am going to do it - and having everyone behind me helps so much.

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

Thats brilliant!! Look at what a day can change!! This should make you more determined to forge on to the end of the week. Imagine what your loss will be after a week!!

Can't wait to see Claire!

 

[happygal]

Thats the spirit girl!!

 

[Mich]

Hi Beverley!

Well done on the 2lb loss - you are doing well.

Hope you have another good day tomorrow

Me - I've been off track for a couple of days - and not being able to log on hasn't helped me but back at it tomorrow - FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION FOR ME!!

Love

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION FOR ME!!

Love

Good for you Mich! I'll be there checking up on you!!! .... so no sneaking off to the fridge when you think no-one's watching!!!

Well another 1lb off this morning!!!! So that's 3lb in total so far over 2 days!!! I'm really pleased and for me 790 is wonderful!!! I know I'm not going to lose whole pounds every day ......... but it is so motivating the last 2 mornings to look at the scales and see them go down. Only 25lb more to go before Xmas - but then will do 790 in the New Yr followed by 1000/1200/1500 so that i do maintainence properly and don't fall back into my old ways!

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

Morning all! Well do you want the good news or the bad news first???

Bad news is I've put on 2lb
Did my 790plan really well yesterday. Dinner was plaice done in a veg soup that I'd made into a sauce by not mixing it with very much water, mushrooms, cauliflower, broccoli and sugar snap peas. LOVELY - if I say so myself ... but it was because my daughter had it as well (except she had potatoes and carrots with hers!)

Had been feeling low all day ... not really sure why, other than general day to day problems. I use to suffer with reacive depression, that required anti-depressants, because of the situation with my ex alcoholic husband. I finally came off the tablets this summer and have felt ok - but know that I do get low easily. I don't have a very good self esteem, or body image and even though I am 2stone lighter than I was this time last yr I am obsessing about my weight ... looks etc etc etc. My OH is fantastic, but not very good at giving compliments and unfortunately if I don't hear nice things I tend to think the worse - does that make sense??? So as he's not been paying me any compliments recently, I've felt unattractive, fat and negative about myself. It doesn't help when I try my clothes on and rolls of fat squeeze through the seems. But I refuse to go out and buy size 16's or otherwise I'm on a rocky road back to putting on the other 2stone I lost.
So anyway to get back to last night .... went to make OH and daughters packed lunch for work ... and that was it. Went off the rails BIG TIME! I won't go into what i ate .. it doesn't make pleasant reading - surfice to say after eating 2 of the granary rolls with choc spread (eek!) nothing that was edible in the kitchen was safe from me. Hence the 2lb gain this morning.

Good news .... bet you'd forgotten there was some of this too! Back on it this morning ... not going to call it day1 - but going to continue. Someone (I think it was Roch) said failure is not an option!!! This applies to me ... and I've got up off the floor, dusted myself off and I'm going to fight this 2st+ I want to lose. Oh and OH is now making his own sarnies!!!!!!

 

[Mich]

Hi Beverley!

I can so relate to what you have just written although fortunately for me I have never suffered with depression - which I understand is a really terrible thing - my uncle and cousin both suffer really badly and have to take medication and it's a real worry.

I did manage to stay 100% yesterday - and the scales are 3lb down this morning (but when I started yesterday they had gone up 2lbs from my 'binge' the 2 days before ) - I wrote on my thread about how I don't know why I do it - almost like a red mist settles and I eat uncontrollably for about and hour and then just stop - why? who knows? bizzare!

But like you I have clothes in my wardrobe that the flab is just slipping over and I won't buy a thing in a bigger size! - I was saying last night I haven't bought or even looked at clothes since I came back from hols at the beginning of Sept and this was the girl who was buying new clothes every other day We even have a big shiny new huge Primark just opened - 4 floors worth and I've not even been for a look (I must be ill...lol!)

Anyway, like you I am not having day 1's but a continuation - we are very similar in that we have both put on 2 stone - but we can both get that 2 stone back off - and if we get our fingers out quite quickly too!

Glad your back on track today - them 2lbs will be gone by tomorrow hang in there and them size 14's will soon be loose on you

Have a good day.
Love

 

[happygal]

Flirty Said:
Good news .... bet you'd forgotten there was some of this too! Back on it this morning ... not going to call it day1 - but going to continue. Someone (I think it was Roch) said failure is not an option!!! This applies to me ... and I've got up off the floor, dusted myself off and I'm going to fight this 2st+ I want to lose. Oh and OH is now making his own sarnies!!!!!!

Hi Flirty

If you look back at some of my original diary entries you will probably see the Failure is not an option thing as well!! The thing you are looking for and we are all looking for is Success. But sometimes we forget that Success is a journey and not a destination. You have maybe hit a slight bump in your journey while your body adjusts but that is only temporary and you my friend are still on the Journey of success.

Im not sure but I think that because you are eating on the 790 that you start to store some glycogen again. Mini posted some good info about it on my diary.

Sorry I wasnt around. I was feeling a little low and didnt want to be too much of a misery guts! lol

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

Hi Flirty
Sorry I wasnt around. I was feeling a little low and didnt want to be too much of a misery guts! lol

Same here Claire - was feeling really low yesterday - and still today. So please excuse me if I don't post as much as usual.

Thanks to you and Mich for support - it makes all the difference.

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

4 days ago - that was the last time I posted on here and I've been feeling sooooo down during this time that I just didn't feel like coming on here - I'm sorry.

So what's going wrong??? When my life's out of control my eating goes out of control and so somehow I need to change that and get both back. Easier said than done, but otherwise it becomes a viscious circle of unhappiness , eating , unhappiness eating .

My mum's still really poorly - she's now starting to get incontinent - I won't give you TMI but she's having a commode delivered today and also looking at a wheelchair. This has been such a rapid shift in her health from reasonably healthy to bedridden since 21 Aug. Her memory is going and I'm not sure if that's because of the shingles and losing track of things or the onset of dementia. Feel helpless watching her almost slip away, especially as I'm 250miles away. We're going down to Kent this weekend to visit them and I'm dreading it as I know that she will have declined since last time I saw her.

She would often start sentences and then not be able to finish them. Quite scary actually, not at like your mum. I do hope she can recover her memory as she gets better.

She does look very frail and her eyes looked a bit ....vacant sometimes.

These are comments from my sister in law who saw her on Saturday.

The other thing is my brother has been moved to an open prison and I'm going to visit him at the weekend too. Him and his wife have split up since he's been in prison and he's so angry/bitter about her. He obviously can't speak to my parents so rings me ... and at the moment he makes me feel "bogged down" with his worries and concerns, which then makes me feel guilty as he has no-one else to talk to. I've tried writing to him to say that he's going through a grieving process etc and that's why he feels like he does. He's after revenge on my S-I-L and I'm trying to talk him out of it, advising him to put it behind him etc. But it's opening old memories (both him and my mum are very manipulating and controlling characters and my relationship with them has often been fraught) and I'm finding myself in a spiral of talking to him on the 'phone, then worrying about it half the night when I should be asleep. As you can see I'm a troubled soul at the moment.

So not surprisingly my diet and SS or 790 has gone out of the window!!! I haven't put on - but I soooooo want to lose 2stone + and be back in my size 12's ... I'd even settle for not feeling so uncomfie in my size 14's at the moment! I'm ashamed and embarrassed that i've posted claims on here about doing SS, then going down through the plans, and now 790 and failed at sticking to any of them. So no claims, promises etc ... except that I will come on here offload the s*** in my life in my diary and hopefully have a go at getting some normality(??????????!!!!!!!) and control back in my life!