Gen's restart... hasn't happened yet!

[kazz]

Gen wats goin on....have ye started today??? Thought it was tomoro tomoro not today tomoro....

 

[Gen]

Hiya hun,

How's it going today?

Ooooh are you going to your weigh-in 2night?? I'll have to weigh myself later hmmmmmmm hope I've lost a few stone overnight!!

Catch ya later xxxxxx

Hey chick... hope ur weigh in goes well for ya... dying to hear how you get on especially as ur will power was brill at the weekend... remember lasagne gate lol

I'm fine, still not ss'ing... but tomorrow for defo!!!

I know I've said that before but I will explain all in a mo!!

Catch ya laters on msn if ya get it sorted

Love

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh here you are!!! Been looking on your other diary!!!!

Love the photo by the way - and now i know where to find you!!!

 

[Gen]

How ya doing chick?

Waiting for date details, I'll tell if you do !

lol ya nut... ahhhh to be honest there were no details... the date i had on sunday turned out to be another dud lol.... nice guy... just not my type at all!!!!

we arranged to meet at 4pm... he got a taxi cos he thought we were having a few drinks... i drove cos i didn't know that... anyway... i knew instantly there was no attraction so was happy to have the car with me... although he was the type of guy you totally could have had a few drinks and a chat with... just not for me!!!

so finished up around 6 ish... 4 becks non alcholics later... and he paid... awwww sooo sweet!!!

thats the details to be honest....

Supposed to be meeting M tonight he is scottish but i've put him off I think.... me thinks it would only be a sexual encounter... which don't get me wrong i'm fine with if i'm up for it... but i ain't tonight....

Sooooooooooo you spill.... lol..... c'mon chicken bawk bawk bawk bawk

otherwise i'm fine... gonna do a post about SS'ing in a bit!!!

love

 

[Gen]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh here you are!!! Been looking on your other diary!!!!

Love the photo by the way - and now i know where to find you!!!

holy ****... meant to take that off before you came back lol

bev soooo chuffed to have ya back and thanks for the lovely comments !!!!!

love

 

[Gen]

Gen wats goin on....have ye started today??? Thought it was tomoro tomoro not today tomoro....

well............ lol

nope haven't started today and i got lost with ur 'tomoro tomoro not today tomoro'... you been at them drugs again lol

gonna update now chick....

hope you are having a lovely day in work... i'm around laters on msn so will catch ya then

love ya

 

[Gen]

Ok then... Update time...

well... i haven't started SS'ing yet but i stood on my home scales this morning and i'm weighing in at 16stone 9lb.... heaviest i have ever ever been in my life!!!! how the **** did that happen... anyways won't dwell on that!!!

So.... my plan is this....

- Start SS tomorrow, do it 100% tomorrow and Friday
- I have friends coming up Friday so will probably drink wine on Friday night, but will make that decision on Friday
- We are all going out on Saturday night and I think I will eat and drink... maybe not eat but will prob defo drink... but again leaving the decision to Saturday and I hope to SS all day Saturday....
- Sunday... depending how saturday goes.... I hope to SS 100% from Sunday until.......... well haven't decided yet... but will do more thought on it over the next day or two....

so thats me plan and i really really want to stick to it.... the only reason i'm considering breaking ss'ing is because i will have only started and to be honest its a bit of a pain ss'ing when everyone else is drunk and I wouldn't even be in ketosis so it would be torture......

the reason i'm starting tomorrow is because if i don't i'll just feel massive at least if i feel i have some control i won't feel so bad....

anyways... on the positives....

- I'm very very very happy at the moment
- I started Salsa Dancing on Monday night and LOVE it - great exercise
- I'm joining pilates, it starts the 1st or 2nd of may and i did it before and loved it...
- I have gone on dates, the size i am, and felt confident doing that
- I'm finally accepting me for me

(even tho i'm like a heifer at the moment (that was a joke.... no one is allowed to agree with me lol lol))

Overall since my therapy my life is changing for the better... I have a bit to go and its constantly going to be changing but I'm happier now and for the last 2 weeks or so than i have been for a long long time!!

sorry for that rant... just needed to get it off me chest lol

lots of love

 

[kazz]

Who are these friends madam,...are they male he he he!!

 

[Gen]

Who are these friends madam,...are they male he he he!!

nope.... they is female.... wish they were male lol

how you??

 

[westiegirl]

Sooooooooooo you spill.... lol..... c'mon chicken bawk bawk bawk bawk

Ok, ok! Date wasn't a first date so it wasn't too nerve wracking anyway. Met Matt originally on New Years Eve and we've been out a few times since. Met at the pub on Monday and had a coffee and a water and then came back to mine with the intention of watching a DVD. Didn't even switch the DVD player on! It's not the first time we've not done that either .

Trouble is that I'm feeling a bit paranoid now because he hasn't been in touch since then. I texted him and he replied this afternoon but he usually texts me first. Can't help thinking that he only wants me for one thing or that I must have been really bad *lol*.

Get over it girl!!!

 

[cazmaz_irl]

Good luck on the restart Gen, you sound like you've got your head in the right place, sure the rest will follow LOL...

 

[KateF]

So glad the therapy's helping make a big difference for you.

Getting to know yourself and feeling seen and heard for who you really are is a great feeling- and even better when you get to replicate it in every day life.

Interesting about the going on dates when at your heaviest and just before ss-ing. I did that last summer- and felt like I was almost helping myself try to know that I could be accepted at any weight so that I wouldn't ever again in a relationship get hung up on worrying my other half was judging my weight...or summat like that!

Hope things are going well
xx

 

[Gen]

Ok, ok! Date wasn't a first date so it wasn't too nerve wracking anyway. Met Matt originally on New Years Eve and we've been out a few times since. Met at the pub on Monday and had a coffee and a water and then came back to mine with the intention of watching a DVD. Didn't even switch the DVD player on! It's not the first time we've not done that either .

Trouble is that I'm feeling a bit paranoid now because he hasn't been in touch since then. I texted him and he replied this afternoon but he usually texts me first. Can't help thinking that he only wants me for one thing or that I must have been really bad *lol*.

Get over it girl!!!

well gal that paranoia is well and truly gone i assume

glad you have made a friend in him.... come what may (love that song with Ewan mcgregor and nicole kidman) its me fave!!!!

hope you are having a lovely evening chick.

love

 

[Gen]

Good luck on the restart Gen, you sound like you've got your head in the right place, sure the rest will follow LOL...

hey caz... thanks for stopping by... my head is kinda sorta in the right place... will explain in a bit lol

hope you are still ss'ing like a mad yoke

 

[Gen]

So glad the therapy's helping make a big difference for you.

Getting to know yourself and feeling seen and heard for who you really are is a great feeling- and even better when you get to replicate it in every day life.

Interesting about the going on dates when at your heaviest and just before ss-ing. I did that last summer- and felt like I was almost helping myself try to know that I could be accepted at any weight so that I wouldn't ever again in a relationship get hung up on worrying my other half was judging my weight...or summat like that!

Hope things are going well
xx

hey kate...

love reading ur posts on any thread... you analyse things so well and ur posts always make me think....

thank you for that....

i read that ur therapy is going good too... sooooo glad you started doing it... we are too good to be wasting our lives on people who really are not worth our time... whether they are lovely people or not... we deserve the best eh

chat to ya soon hun

love

 

[Gen]

right then...

ss did start today and got to about 6 o'clock which was fine with me... tomorrow i hope to ss all day and have some wine tomorrow night... i have layed out my plan already here so no need to do it again...

two things...

my WW (weekend wanker) who i haven't seen since before xmas and only text/speak to very very rarely.... is going into rehab..... I'm soooo happy for him and equally as happy for me that i have absolutely no interest in him whatsoever.. i have no need to 'fix him' or 'control him' or doing anything with him.... yipppppeeeeee.....

second thing... had to buy a pair of jeans today for saturday night.... well hated every minute of that... BUT... i bought a lovely pair of jeans in a size 18... which don't go near me yet... but will.... i just thought they were lovely and for 14 euro, well i couldn't leave them there

have a lovely weekend planned and am really looking forward to it.....

hope everyone has a lovely one toooo

SS will be resumed on sunday/monday..... for defo... shopping tonight showed me that... but normally i would have been totally pissed off... but i'm not... its just the way it is... and i'm ok with that... but i know i have to sort it out... happy??? yes!!

love

 

[westiegirl]

well gal that paranoia is well and truly gone i assume

glad you have made a friend in him.... come what may (love that song with Ewan mcgregor and nicole kidman) its me fave!!!!

hope you are having a lovely evening chick.

love

Yep, paranoia has gone! But we'll see what happens.

Ooh, I'd forgotten about that song. Long time since I've seen that film. I loved it!

Having a nice quiet evening (for a change ). Although it's not till later that my drainpipe climber comes out to play lol. Not going to play tonight though. I need sleep!!!!!!!!

How you doing?

 

[westiegirl]

right then...

ss did start today and got to about 6 o'clock which was fine with me... tomorrow i hope to ss all day and have some wine tomorrow night... i have layed out my plan already here so no need to do it again...

two things...

my WW (weekend wanker) who i haven't seen since before xmas and only text/speak to very very rarely.... is going into rehab..... I'm soooo happy for him and equally as happy for me that i have absolutely no interest in him whatsoever.. i have no need to 'fix him' or 'control him' or doing anything with him.... yipppppeeeeee.....

second thing... had to buy a pair of jeans today for saturday night.... well hated every minute of that... BUT... i bought a lovely pair of jeans in a size 18... which don't go near me yet... but will.... i just thought they were lovely and for 14 euro, well i couldn't leave them there

have a lovely weekend planned and am really looking forward to it.....

hope everyone has a lovely one toooo

SS will be resumed on sunday/monday..... for defo... shopping tonight showed me that... but normally i would have been totally pissed off... but i'm not... its just the way it is... and i'm ok with that... but i know i have to sort it out... happy??? yes!!

love

Posts must have crossed lol.

Glad you have finally been able to lose the grip of WW. You have a fantastic sounding weekend planned, so just enjoy it and come next week you can do what's best for you.

Really pleased that you sound so positive hun, can't wait to meet you in June! I've got my next counselling session tomorrow. Can't believe it's been 4 weeks since my last visit!

 

[MissPiggyFi]

Hiya gorgeous!!!

Good to see you sounding so perky! (considerin you're usually such a miserable beeeeeeeeyyyyyaaaaach!!! just kiddin lol ) Good to have a plan. Plans are good.

Well done on the day-time SSing You'll be speeding down those numbers on the scales once you get into SSing properly on monday!

Bet those jeans will look on you HOT for your date with hunky fireman when he eventually realises you are destined to be together!! (and even better on the bedroom floor! )

By the way, i've been quite a good girl today, although I think the 6 million gaviscon cool tablets i have consumed may have knocked me out of ketosis as i am very hungry :sigh:

ho hum!!!

chat to ya later chick xxx

 

[kazz]

Alreet ch ix....dunno wat u went and bought new jeans for....once ye get back into SSing they will be soooooooo too big on ye!

Anyway glad u lasted longer than I did....1pm and I caved in and went to m&s....was yummy though lol

Where ye off to on saturday?? There BETTER be sum men involved (but not ny1 dat I know cos dat wud be weird!!)

Must go....dunno when I'll talk to ye again....but give SS another go on Sunday....I might try again tomoro....