Getting my mojo back!

Evening all

Hi Jodie *waves* Nice to see you :)

Busy day today. BodyCombat this morning then tidying and sorting for the rest of the day. Nipped out to the shops for a wee while and treated myself to a new lipstick to cheer myself up. I'm about to head of to bed soon. Nice short day tomorrow thankfully. Think I will go and get my eyebrows threaded and tinted, or getting my scouse brow done as I call it.

Night night lovelies xx
 
Last night was difficult. Not sure if I'm making it hard for myself with LL 'crooked thinking' (remember that?!). It's surely only as hard as I want it to be (ooer missus lol)? I'm thinking the difficulty into this. It isn't actually there. The plan itself is simple: do this = lose weight.

Anyway, managed to stop myself after four raw mushrooms and a couple of small pieces of corned beef (which I don't normally even fancy!)

This morning I thought I'd see whether there's any progress on the scales. My weigh in isn't until Wednesday but I'd been making such heavy weather of this I thought it might give me an interim boost (like the midweek 'pop in' you do in the first week of LL).

Hehe. It's going to be a GOOD first week, is all I'm saying! :-D (tease)
 
You can't tell us you've weighed yourself and then not spill the beans! That's just unfair :)
I guess 6lbs off..... x
 
Sorry! Mean of me (more!).

Been a weird day. Was totally in the zone until the end of the day, when I ate my way through some left-over sesame sticks and a packet of crisps left in the car from a picnic I did for the family on Saturday. No idea what that was about, other than that they were there and I was feeling sorry for myself post-work. I need to pull myself together, both sns-wise and work-wise. Gah!

Was going to go to fitness tonight but decided not to. Now feel I'm rubbish. Hmm. Balance, anyone? Perspective?!

Looks like I'm trying to self-sabotage. Why?!
 
Hmm, because habits are hard to break no matter if its food, drink, smoking or drugs :-( don't stress over it but don't eat any more x
What do you do for work?
10? :)
 
Very true. And yes, I've stepped away from the food, had a pack and a decaf and feel more normal.

I'm a publishing director. I have a love/hate relationship with it as it was my 'dream' job on paper and I couldn't believe it when I got it(just after I'd lost the weight) but I find I don't have anywhere near the autonomy I thought I was going to have and find it very frustrating, especially when I'm having to implement plans I disagree with. Hey ho! Have been tackling it in various ways (in a reasonably direct fashion) with my boss - but it's still sometimes a bit of a let down really. I have a long commute each day too, which is very tiring. Thankfully the office is relocating to central London some time next year though so my journey will get shorter,

Also (this is VERY shallow of me and I apologise in advance!) I find it really demoralising that after years of working at my career I finally reached a senior position, but because my husband has MS and has had to give up work, we're no better off financially than we were ten years ago. In fact we're signfiicantly worse off Sigh.

I also feel trapped, because I carry the mortgage on my own these days.

Sorry. I'm grateful for my lovely husband and family and home and for actually having a job in the current climate, but sometimes I feel grumpy!
 
Sounds very stressful TBH :-( Don't apologies for your feelings, you can't change them and it's better to let them out than to let them fester......

Thankfully the office is relocating to central London some time next year though so my journey will get shorter,
next year or this year? Where's your 'lovely leafy small town' outside London? It sounds nice :) I'm in Hertfordshire and used to work in central London and the commute was fine.
Sorry to hear about your hubby's MS, has he had it long?
 
Thanks for listening and not judging, wt. the office is moving next year, ie 2014. We don't have a date yet. Most of my dept are long-serving and live locally (the office is in Hampshire) so they are struggling with choices at the moment. I'd rather not say where I live. It's in Surrey and is a lovely spot :).

Possibly just post-holiday blues (especially as holidays aren't really holidays for mums, are they?!). Ooh I'm such a martyr. Really need to tackle this and sort myself out!!!
 
In answer to your other question, he was diagnosed the year after we got married. He had only minor symptoms at first, but now has mobility issues (walks with a frame or crutches for a few steps, or uses a wheelchair or mobility scooter), co ordination and balance problems, and bladder dysfunction (uses catheters) and daily Cialis to retain what limited erectile function he has left. He's on the latest treatment: beta interferon injections 3x a week didn't do any good, so he goes to hospital once a month for a Tysabri infusion. his eyesight has also deteriorated so much in one eye that he's had to surrender his driving license permanently (it won't get better but may very well get worse).

Sometimes he has difficulty finding the right word, or slurs his speech, but on the whole we're lucky that so far it hasn't significantly affected him cognitively.

We wanted three children, but with all that going on we decided on vasectomy a year or so ago. Even though it was totally the most sensible and adult decision, I'm still mourning the third child a bit to be honest :(. some would say we were mad to have the two we DO have, but it was a calculated risk: that he would be well enough and that I could cope. They are wonderful <3

The MS is pretty hideous, actually. He's on the cusp of being categorised 'secondary progressive' but his consultant has been holding off so he can have a trial of the tysabri (which is only licensed for relapsing-remitting). It's the unpredictability that can be really scary. You adjust to one level of disability, but then he has a fall or a serious relapse and it throws everything out. I constantly worry about what will happen if I have to give up work to care for him and the girls. Where will we live?!

:(

I feel rubbish writing all that out.
 
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From reading your posts you sound like a very determined person, I am sure whatever the future holds you will tackle it head on and win through.

Sometimes just saying you worst fears makes them easier to manage.

Sent from my iPad using MiniMins
 
Thank you for listening (and thanks to anyone else who may be reading but not posting). I can't tell you how much more "centred" I feel today, having got that lot off my chest! It builds up and builds up until I get thoughts of "I can't do this!" bouncing round my head - when in actual fact I can totally cope. It's just not very nice, is it? But then, whose lives are actually uncomplicated? Everyone has difficulty in their lives of some sort or another. We all have things we'd prefer not to have to deal with. The fact of the matter is I'm healthy, in a happy marriage, got two amazing daughters, and a lovely job. I couldn't be more lucky really, could I?!

(well... there's the small matter of the lardage I've managed to accumulate over Christmas of course... :p)
 
Sorry Spangly, I've only just managed to sit with a cuppa and read and reply.
From your post you sound like you have more than your average persons complicated lives (it makes me feel bad for my complaining) and to think how well you cope. I admire your determination x
Well done and I'm glad that you feel better for sharing x
 
A calm has descended. All gently, like snow, but it's here nonetheless. I think I was premature in thinking I'd reached ketosis and it's on its way right now. I haven't felt this mellow in AGES. Hurrah! Kind of like loads of my usual anxiety has just dissolved and basically THINGS ARE OK. I like this! Now to remember how this feels when in future I'm tempted off my usual low-carb path...
 
At risk of blowing my own trumpet... here's a reminder to myself of what I achieved in 2010/11 on Lighter Life. I can do this!! I can get back to the glamorous (really? yes, really!) me!!

user39547_pic17269_1294587914.jpg


379888_10151029369975321_199065440320_21523220_1249928450_n.jpg
 
omg look at you! you little glamour puss!!!!! what weight were you then?! xxx
 
At risk of blowing my own trumpet... here's a reminder to myself of what I achieved in 2010/11 on Lighter Life. I can do this!! I can get back to the glamorous (really? yes, really!) me!!

<img src="http://www.minimins.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=73772"/>

<img src="http://www.minimins.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=73773"/>

Wow you look amazing! Notnlong till your back there again!
 
Wow! I've seen these pics before (before I started I lurked for a few weeks!) and I remember this :) stunning picture!
 
I was 10st 5lb - my 'perfect' weight. I will do this! I will!!

Weigh in tomorrow. For some reason after a brilliant day I found myself inside the peanut butter jar this evening. What gives? Don't I want this?! I am still hoping for a good loss though. At the very least I feel less bloated!

Thanks for the compliments. It's hard sometimes to believe I was that size for almost two years. It still doesn't feel real. Maybe that's my problem? My psyche still sees me as big?

Anyway - will keep plugging away and undoing the carb madness!
 
At risk of blowing my own trumpet... here's a reminder to myself of what I achieved in 2010/11 on Lighter Life. I can do this!! I can get back to the glamorous (really? yes, really!) me!!

<img src="http://www.minimins.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=73772"/>

<img src="http://www.minimins.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=73773"/>

Holy moly u look like a superstar!!!!!! :)
 
Thanks!!! :D

But (irrationally) disappointed today with 9lb off, as that's what the scales said a couple of days ago and i was hoping for more! Doh! Anyway - 9lb off! :)
 
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