Spanglymum
Gold Member
Really badly wanted to cheat today. Even bought snacks! But can you believe I didn't actually open them? I'm so impressed with myself. This is a huge thing for me. I just reasoned with myself that breaking my diet wasn't going to make a stressful and annoying day any better, which is quite true, isn't it?! It sounds so simple, but at the time all I wanted was the carb comfort.
Thing is, I'm really not very happy at work at the moment. On paper it was my 'dream job' but in reality I have the weird combination of a lot of responsibility (29 staff and a multi-million budget) coupled with almost total lack of autonomy. It's very frustrating. I am trying to tackle it head on as much as I can, but find it exhausting. What I really want is to have my cake and eat it I guess (pun intentional!). On the one hand I want the material things that my job allows me to provide for my family, but on the other I want to go back to being creative, drawing and painting and writing. Sigh. Typical midlife crisis fodder, eh?!
And somehow reaching goal a couple of years back felt like I'd 'made it'. But in fact what I'd done was expose a whole load of difficult truths about my career: having listened to others rather than my heart and ended up in a completely non-creative role. I have achieved a lot, after all I remember feeling so dissatisfied years ago in my first job after university... And I've made this career, I've created it. But it's not 'me'. Not really. The corporate politics and so on is really getting me down.
Oh well. Reality check! I have a mortgage to pay after all... Best get up early and start writing some more of the 'great British novel' as my Mum calls it.
Thing is, I'm really not very happy at work at the moment. On paper it was my 'dream job' but in reality I have the weird combination of a lot of responsibility (29 staff and a multi-million budget) coupled with almost total lack of autonomy. It's very frustrating. I am trying to tackle it head on as much as I can, but find it exhausting. What I really want is to have my cake and eat it I guess (pun intentional!). On the one hand I want the material things that my job allows me to provide for my family, but on the other I want to go back to being creative, drawing and painting and writing. Sigh. Typical midlife crisis fodder, eh?!
And somehow reaching goal a couple of years back felt like I'd 'made it'. But in fact what I'd done was expose a whole load of difficult truths about my career: having listened to others rather than my heart and ended up in a completely non-creative role. I have achieved a lot, after all I remember feeling so dissatisfied years ago in my first job after university... And I've made this career, I've created it. But it's not 'me'. Not really. The corporate politics and so on is really getting me down.
Oh well. Reality check! I have a mortgage to pay after all... Best get up early and start writing some more of the 'great British novel' as my Mum calls it.