Getting my mojo back!

[Spanglymum]

Slept brilliantly last night. I think it's a relief to have stopped messing about and to know I'm back on track. Day two, here I come!

I'd been thinking, 'oh but it's going to take ages to get back to goal' and keep reminding myself that those 'ages' will pass, whether I stick to the plan or not. Which would I prefer? To get to the end of the 'ages' still unhappy with my body, or get to the end feeling successful?

 

[Spanglymum]

Done myself a new ticker - 35lb (gulp!) - as it makes it feel "real". Like I'm committing to this 100%. I am so determined! I really want to get back to goal. I've raised my goal 5lb from my original target of 145lb as I always seem to struggle with the last few pounds. As I get closer I might re-evaluate that and put it back at 145lb. We'll see.

Got visions of myself wearing my black jumpsuit to the Christmas party again this year. I wore it a couple of years back and got so many compliments. I've way too much "junk in the trunk" (!) at the moment to pull it off - but it's thoughts like this that make me motivated to do this and succeed again.

I've got another counselling session this evening. I don't really know what to expect, except that it will be thought-provoking. Last week I ended up talking a lot about art, and how I feel I took a wrong turn in giving it up at school in favour of what my school called "academic" subjects. I did some painting at the weekend - and have also approached a local painting group. I'm seeing them on Thursday evening - they're going to look at my work (I don't have much so am a bit scared they will send me away!). I'm showing them some paintings and some drawings, with a view to maybe joining them for their next season, in September. My dream is to really explore my art work and also get back into creative writing (poetry and short stories)... then my life will feel more "balanced" I think, with the corporate business side offset nicely by creative pastimes.

And did I also tell you I'm growing tomatoes and strawberries?! I may have gained some weight back, but I'm in a much better place mentally each year that passes I think, getting closer to being back to the real "me". It's good!

 

[porshe04]

Done myself a new ticker - 35lb (gulp!) - as it makes it feel "real". Like I'm committing to this 100%. I am so determined! I really want to get back to goal. I've raised my goal 5lb from my original target of 145lb as I always seem to struggle with the last few pounds. As I get closer I might re-evaluate that and put it back at 145lb. We'll see.

Got visions of myself wearing my black jumpsuit to the Christmas party again this year. I wore it a couple of years back and got so many compliments. I've way too much "junk in the trunk" (!) at the moment to pull it off - but it's thoughts like this that make me motivated to do this and succeed again.

I've got another counselling session this evening. I don't really know what to expect, except that it will be thought-provoking. Last week I ended up talking a lot about art, and how I feel I took a wrong turn in giving it up at school in favour of what my school called "academic" subjects. I did some painting at the weekend - and have also approached a local painting group. I'm seeing them on Thursday evening - they're going to look at my work (I don't have much so am a bit scared they will send me away!). I'm showing them some paintings and some drawings, with a view to maybe joining them for their next season, in September. My dream is to really explore my art work and also get back into creative writing (poetry and short stories)... then my life will feel more "balanced" I think, with the corporate business side offset nicely by creative pastimes.

And did I also tell you I'm growing tomatoes and strawberries?! I may have gained some weight back, but I'm in a much better place mentally each year that passes I think, getting closer to being back to the real "me". It's good!

You sound really focused, I'm sure that weight will be gone in no time and you can dust your catsuit off x

 

[Kira]

Just dropped by and well done Spangly for getting through day 1. Hope day 2 today has gone well so far! I'm on another attempt at S&S day 1 today and so far so good! Only 3 and half hours until an early night!

 

[Spanglymum]

Thanks, Porsche and Kira! I'm v focused. Wobbled momentarily after work as it was a stressful day but I didn't cave. I really want to do this and cheating isn't going to help. I hope I will stay this strong. I so want to get back into my lovely clothes.

 

[Kira]

Awh! Totally understand what you mean! Well not long for day 2 to come to a close and you can tuck yourself into bed early! That's what I'm going to do as its the only safe place!

Will drop by tomorrow to see you are doing! Keep,going!

 

[Spanglymum]

Thanks, Kira! See you on here tomorrow!

 

[Spanglymum]

Slept amazingly well last night. It's incredible what a difference deep sleep makes to my mood the next day as well. I've had months of waking at 4am and not being able to get back to sleep, which all feeds into the general feeling of malaise and rubbishness and keeps the vicious cycle going of carbs and caffeine just to get through the day. Went to bed at 8:45 and woke up at 6am. Yay! Day two done and dusted. Feel a bit bad as I had some sugar free chewing gum in the car on the way to work and I know that isn't strictly allowed and could prevent me getting into ketosis. I need to watch that and see whether it triggers any cravings later in the day. So far so good though. Had one shake so far and a black coffee and a glass of water. I am doing this!

 

[Kira]

Morning! Spangly! Don't worry about the gum and see how it goes. I have to say I have had gum doing vlcd in the past and it didn't affect me getting into ketosis. I had to have it because of ketosis breath! Have a great day 3 and you will be so much closer to half way through a full week! Yeah!

I think I am going to find day 2 tricky as totm arrived yesterday and I'm feeling really bleurgh! Had best intentions of decluttering but not really doing a productive job on anything other than managed to hang up washing before the school run! Do you find you have to space out your packs or are you ok with one long gap?

 

[Spanglymum]

I try to space my packs out. I find that 6:30am, 10:30am, 2:30pm and 6:30pm works best for me (or thereabouts). I don't feel too "deprived" if I have reasonable gaps. I'm struggling a bit today, possibly because of the gum (or because of the thought of the gum, ie, "I've had something off plan...") but I'm sticking to it. Trying to remind myself to take one day/hour at a time and keep plodding on.

I need to get new scales. Does anyone have a recommendation? My last set have died and I'd like to get some that are accurate.

 

[Kira]

It's definitely psychological that "I've had something of plan....." then we fall off the waggon! It's fine it was a piece of gum and it won't make a bit of difference! However, I am finding it a bit harder this afternoon so you are not alone. I may have to have a zero coke or sparkling water as I just need that fuller feeling in my tum!

I've got Tanita Body Fat scales and they are great. Show stone pound and ounces, or just pounds and also kg so you can select any. The body fat facility is pretty good too but I always forget how to use it! But seeing the numbers go down on that is good too. They're not cheap but managed to get mine from TK Maxx less than half the shop price!

 

[Spanglymum]

Bad headache most of today. It isn't dehydration as I'm good with my water. Could be carb withdrawal maybe? Or caffeine? I don't drink as much tea as usual when I'm on packs as I don't like it black as much as with milk (unsweetened soya usually). Actually I bet it is caffeine...

Onward! Had some sugar free gum today but otherwise have been 100%. Proud of myself as it was quite difficult at times today but I didn't cave.

 

[Blonde Logic]

Well done!!! One more day under your shrinking belt!! I am the same with coffee as you are with tea. I am a coffee fiend - except on packs. Hard as I try I just cannot fall in love with black coffee.

Glad you are getting through the tough bits in these early days - won;t be long and you will be in the wonderful world of Ketosis where hunger is just a distant memory!

xx

 

[Spanglymum]

Ugh. Woke up half an hour ago with a bad headache. Not a migraine, thankfully, but bad enough to wake me up. Decided to have some paracetamol in the end. I guess this could be ketosis on its way? (hopeful) need to get some new scales ready for weigh in on Monday. Hope I've done ok. At the very least I am proud of myself for focusing again.

 

[Minerva]

The headache may very well be mild caffeine and carb withdrawal... Two weeks ago I gave up caffeine completely along with starting SnS - for the first 3/4 days I thought my head was going to explode. Carb withdrawal never had such a strong effect on its own, it was rather horrid!! Still, you're nearly over the hump - day 5 will come and it will be so much easier again!

You're doing so well Spangly I'm so glad the counselling has been helping and that you finally have a ticker! It's a funny thing, but making this leg of the journey "official" like that does help psychologically.

I'd stay away from gum - it does have 2g carbs per stick depending on the brand. As for milk - as you're having Unsweetended Soya milk with it's extremely low carb content, I'd say have your usual amount of coffee/tea with the milk. It does have similar calories per 100ml as skimmed; but carbs are a fraction. If you want to have an even lower calorie content to be able to have more - try some Unsweetened Almond milk. 0.1g carbs per 100ml and about 13 calories.

Fingers crossed for WI on Monday!

 

[Spanglymum]

I think you're right re gum and unsweetened soya milk and carbs, Minerva. I will steer clear of the gum: I don't think I need to make this any more difficult for myself than necessary!

I'm a bit apprehensive about this evening. I've been hiding my creative skills for many years, and then a couple of years ago (around the time I started LL) I started drawing and painting again. I'm really really rusty at drawing, and never learned to paint, so am teaching myself. Anyway, something my counsellor said last week prompted me to find a local art group. I'm very excited but also scared, because they sent me their details and I kind-of have to "audition" (?!). I have to take some of my pictures (I have very few) and they will decide if I can join. Hmm. Not quite the supportive and welcoming/inclusive atmosphere I was hoping for. Keep wanting to chicken out but now the day is here I guess I can give it a go...

I was just wanting to meet other amateur artists and have an opportunity to paint/draw once a week, which I think would focus me more - trying to fit it round other things isn't easy. Anyway - if it turns out they don't want me in their group I guess it will be a useful learning experience, eh? Especially if I DON'T get carbs as a reaction lol.

Actually, feel pretty secure today on the carb front. I'm not going to count my chickens or get complacent (been there before) but I'm optimistic that the peace of ketosis is finally starting to arrive...

 

[Minerva]

I hope all goes well with the art group!! Art is such a wonderful therapy tool and from the sounds of it - it's something you've been craving to do. Even if they don't accept you, it's not the end of the world. You can join an art skills class at a local college on the weekends, it's something I'm considering doing too, I'm way out of touch with my artistic side!

I'd love to see some of your art - post some up on here?

x

 

[Spanglymum]

A recent drawing... (you can see it bigger if you click on it)

 

[Kira]

You are doing fab Spangly! The headaches shouldn't go on for too long and you will begin to feel better. The first few days are always the hardest as we know. Keep going! Cheering you all the way!

 

[Kira]

Meant to add great picture! I wish were that good at art! I'd love to paint but something I've never tried but perhaps I should? It will certainly keep me away from the kitchen!

Minerva that's great post I didn't realise the difference in carb contents in skimmed and almond milk.