HAPPY NEW YEAR DIETERS.

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by luckybug, 1 January 2008 Social URL.

  1. luckybug

    luckybug Full Member

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    THIS MADE ME LAUGH SO i HOPE IT DOES YOU TOO.

    'Twas the week after Christmas, and all through the house
    Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
    The cookies I'd nibble, the eggnog I'd taste
    All the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

    When I got on the scales, there arose such a number!
    When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
    I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
    The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared...

    The wine and the rumballs, the bread and the cheese
    And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."
    As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
    And prepared once again to battle the dirt...

    I said to myself, as I only can
    "You can't spend a winter dressed like a man!"
    So...away with the last of the sour cream dip,
    Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.

    Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
    'Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
    I won't have a cookie, not even a lick,
    I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

    I won't have hot biscuits, or cornbread, or pie,
    I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
    I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore...
    But isn't that what January is for?

    Unable to giggle, no longer a riot
    HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD DIET!
     
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  3. Flabbyfay

    Flabbyfay Silver Member

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    :giggle:That's fab!!!!!!!!!!
     
  4. canireallydothis!!

    canireallydothis!! Gold Member

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    Brilliant!!
     
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