Liz's CD Diet to Goal

Thanks everyone :)
Not been on for a while sorry! Just caught up with all your diaries, but have been avoiding mine a little I guess.

I guess I feel a need to move away from CD to a certain extent. I'm almost at BMI 25 and my weight seems to have plateau-ed. I've heard talk of this happening, but never had it happen to me. Lost 2lb last week and it's back on this week. I'm not actually upset, but I think because I'm not losing I'm feeling less part of this community IYKWIM.

I am still calorie counting, exercising and occasionally integrating tetras. I am due to see my CDC on Wed and she is eager for me to stay in touch, monthly weigh, even go on a lower programme when I come back off hols.

I don't want to do that, so am a little nervous about Wed. I just want to see how I get on on holiday and I am quite confident that I can make good decisions.

I need to move away from 'diet' and onto 'normal' and even though I would like to be lighter it's more because I think that will make me more toned (I still have quite a lot of excess fat).

I am grateful to my CDC but feel like my journey is starting now - the real job of maintaining and I am looking forward to it.

I have had a normal day today, despite having a chinese for lunch. I asked BF to pick up a KFC on the way home and then thought 'what the hell am I doing?'

That's not normal to me, or healthy. I had indulged at lunch and it wouldn't be kind to my body to do the same in the evening and it was more because the chinese was triggering my binge mode. I got through that and stopped myself for the first time in my life I think.

Today I have done a good amount of exercise and it makes me feel energised, stops me falling asleep midday! I bought bananas and strawberries to snack on instead of craving chocolate. It's not that I won't allow myself that, but I want to get the point where I naturally know what is good for me and in order to get there I need to listen to and work with my body :)

Right, going to sign off before I start to feel like I'm on an episode of Dr Phil
 
Wish I had the insight you had today hon. Well done!!!

xxx
 
well done with today hun!
Sounds like your really focused on where you are, where you want to be and how to get there which is very inspiring for a "maintenance virgin" to see! lol
xx
 
Well done Liz, on stopping the binge mode. There comes a time when we all have to step away from 'the diet'. You are part of this commmunity, well I feel you are. In the end non of us will be still losing weight, just maintaining and hopefully being of some use to new maintainers and dieters along the way.
I get so much encouragement from those who post on here who have reached their goal and are keeping steady.
 
Thanks everyone for the kind comments.

Today is going horribly so far. Got up and found one of my cats sitting unresponsively next to her own urine in the kitchen. The wee was almost clear, which is not like her at all. Cleaned that up and she didn't even move. She just seemed different, don't know how to explain it.
She won't go outside, which is unheard of for her, she let me pick her up and didn't struggle (again, strange), she won't sit on me knee and it very unsteady on her feet.

She just sits in the corner with her head drooping and won't respond to her name. She is purring loudly, which cats do to comfort themselves and I think something is seriously wrong.

My old cat (RIP) had a stroke and I came home to find her unable to walk. Kuma seems similar, but not as bad. So am taking her to the vets any minute now - appoint at 9.

One of my other cats Trinity keeps going over to her as well. Just everything is making me think she is on her way out. I feel so bad for her. Am on my own as well, as BF had to go to work and I just know I'll end up crying at the vets if it's bad news.

I hate crying in front of people. Anyway, fingers crossed it's nothing serious, but she is old now. Not sure how old as she's a rescue, but she was at least 6 when I got her and I've had her years.
 
Oh Liz. Big hugs. I hope the vet appointment goes well, guessing you will be on your way by now. I know it doesn't help really, but if she's a rescue you have hang onto the thought that you gave her many happy years she wouldn't have had without you... and whatever happens now, you are with her to love her and she will know that.

We recently lost one of our three cats to a road accident, she was a wanderer and was 'missing' for a while and then we were told by a neighbour they had seen her body. We looked and looked but couldn't find her. Not nice, but I had to tell myself that she was an adventurer and that her nine lives had been well-used.

Also lost a dog in may, a rescue greyhound who used to belong to my dad (he died almost 2 years ago). She came to us and we loved her, and her death was awful, awful, but I was with her and I'm glad she had all of those extra years with my dad and then with us that she'd not have had otherwise.

Rambling now Liz, just wanted to say I know how it feels.

Hugs.

xxx
 
oh liz! hope everything is going ok at the vets hun!
Fingers and toes crossed!
We rescued a blind cat 5 years ago and he is the apple of my eye...i will be mortified when he goes! :(
BIG hugs and hope its treatable!

xx
 
Thanks everyone :)
Just a quick pop in. Am at work now and had to leave her at the vets. She hasn't had a stroke, but they have found a mass in her stomach.

Too early to say if it's a tumour, but they are going to run some tests today - blood test and do an ultrascan to see what it is. She doesn't have a temperature, which is good.

Just hope it's not a tumour, as my cat had a stroke and a tumour and I had to make the decision to have her PTS.

They're ringing me at about 2 or 3 o'clock, so should know more then.

xxx
 
Chin up honey, try and lose yourself in the work. At least you know she's in the best place.

xxx
 
Not a lot i can say but as a cat owner, feel for you Liz. Hope she comes through ok xxx
 
Well the vet has just called and said it doesn't look good. All tests point to a problem with her kidneys and he thinks that the lump must be around that area. So he's doing the ultrasound now to see what it might be.
I have to go in at 3pm after this to find out and talk about what to do.
So I might not be on later if it's bad news, but thanks everyone for the kind messages xxx
 
oh honey......!
Wish there was something i could say to make you feel better! Its just horrible what your going through
Sending you huge hugs sweetie

xxx
 
Awww Liz, I am so sorry that your cat is so poorly, I know exactly how you feel, one of my cats was run over about 2 weeks ago.... maybe in a way it was better as it died instantly and I didn't have to make the hard decision... hopefully the news will be good and you wont have to either. Big {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}} to you hun xx
 
Hey everyone, just got back from the vets and cried all the way home, although managed to keep it together in the vets.

He showed me the blood tests and the main things they look at are urea, creatine and another I can't remember. The creatine was the worst - should be up to 200 something, but is over 1200.

Also saw the scan pictures and her left kidney is 3 to 4 times the normal size and the right is very small. Her said it was chronic kidney failure. He thinks the left one might have grown to compensate for the right if it's not working.

He said she won't have been in pain until today he didn't think. He can keep her in over night to see if fluids reduce the levels of bad things in the blood and he also needs to take urine samples after she has had more fluid.

If they don't go down by tomorrow or the urine samples don't look good then he recommends having her put to sleep. If they do go down and urine looks more normal then there is the option to do a biopsy, but he said he would still consider the put to sleep option because some cats don't respond well to treatment (chemo etc)

TBH I don't think I want her to have to have an operation or chemo. She's about 14, completely lifeless today and various medications now to get rid of the pain. So he's calling me tomorrow to let me know how she's got on over night.

So it looks bad regardless really :(

Going to take tomorrow off because I can't stop crying. Keep thinking that I should have noticed, but it was only a couple of days ago she was playing in the garden with my dogs toy. My other half left her out during the day a couple of days ago and she wouldn't have had access to water, so am feeling guilty about that too.

Anyway, going to sign off now. Thanks for thinking of me everyone, I really appreciate it and the empathy. Sorry if I don't respond and haven't looked at anyone's diary or any new posts.
 
Honey, so sorry. Poor little kitty.

Remember she isn't in pain, though. And please don't feel bad for not seeing it... how could you know? I also bet she'd have found water the day she was outside - have never known a cat not to find water somewhere out in the big wide world.

Hugs Liz, take care.

xxx
 
Oh no! I've just caught up on all this. You poor thing. Thinking of you. Hope you're okay and manage to get some sleep tonight. xxx
 
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