Lou's Diary - onwards and inwards!

How are you feeling today? School starts tomorrow for us and Thursday for our students. Cant believe the sumer has gone.
 
:( Lou! Lovely Lou you deserve so much better but now my dear is your time! You can focus on yourself and on a future where you'll have your pick of men but now is totally about you.

Hope you're really bouncing off your losses, you should be elated at your progress, hitting a big old plateau here but as long as I can see SW working for others then it motivates me so please keep it up and look at life on the brighter side. x
 
Morning everyone, thanks for all your advice, I do feel a lot more empowered!

However, I still don't know what to do, I know I can find someone else etc who will make me happy, but I still love him so much.

This is what happened.....

I looked at his phone bill and saw he'd been texting a number I didn't recognise, so in a moment of madness (but glad I did) I text the number, she called be back and said she'd met him on plenty of fish etc and they'd been on a couple of dates.

Ok - so, bye bye to him, however - even though I know she'd have no reason to lie to me, we (me and ex) ring each other loads every evening and he is always at home etc, so I honestly don't know when he'd have fitted it in, especially as she said she'd last been with him on Wednesday, when I know for a fact he was at home as it was the day I came out of hospital and I had to tell him not to come and see me!!

His story is.... he forgot to cancel his POF account when he met me as it was free (hmm), he did reply to her email and text her, but never met up with her. He claims he is really sorry and is beating himself up over it etc, I've even had his mum call me saying she'd never seen him in such a state before etc.

So there you go - I'm in two minds, he should never still have been on POF and I'll never forgive him for that, but do I throw this relationship away because of it? Will I be able to trust him again? If not, surely the is no point in the relationship?

Love is poo.
 
How are you feeling today? School starts tomorrow for us and Thursday for our students. Cant believe the sumer has gone.

Hi hun, I'm ok thanks, got weigh in tonight so hopefully that'll cheer me up. How are you? Good luck for tomorrow, at least it's a short week to get you started again. xx
 
Hello diary....

My hunger caught up with me yesterday and I ate my first meal since Wednesday..

Monday
B: Yogurt
L: Banana and M&S jam doughnut (8 syns)
D: Roast peppers, onions and sweet potato with balsamic vinegar and supernoodles
S: SF rice pudding
S: 2 hard boiled eggs and a penguin (6 syns?)

Back to plan today and want to eat normal meals again..

B: Yogurt
L: Supernoodles
S: Banana
D: Pasta with homemade arabatia sauce (1B)
 
I think he needs to grovel some more first. Make him work for it cause really you're worth it and he needs to prove he knows that. If everything slides back into place straight away then he'll find it easier to do again with less guilt.

I can understand him forgetting to delete his PoF account but he was still replying to her, that's not something you can idly forget. Just be careful hun and remember what ever you decide you won't be alone. Some of us have moments of madness and hurt the ones we love so perhaps a trial second chance?
 
Thanks hun for understanding the other side of it. The is no way I'm going to let it slide under the carpet, I've told him to leave me alone for a few weeks.

Hopefully in those weeks I'll be able to work out what I want. x
 
I think the important thing is to decide if you can trust him again.

No relationship is worth it without trust in my opinion.
Will it be harder in the long term to deal with a break up or to check his texts and e-mails out of paranoia / suspiscion for the forseeable future?
Breaking up with my ex was the hardest thing I have ever been through and sometimes I was in physical pain it hurt so much. It took me quiet a long time to realise that our relationship as it had been was ALREADY over, just from me knowing about his indiscretions. Even if i stayed with him, things would never be the same no matter how much I would have wanted them to be.
Also, I'm not at all a forgive & forget type of person. I would have brought it up in every argument from here to eternity ;)

Good luck deciding what you want my love :)
 
Hey hun.
I've text you x
 
Hi Prawn - yeah, that is what is bugging me, I don't want to be someone who is paranoid and keeps checking his phone etc, I just wish I could turn off the "love button".

Also - blooming heck....... ONLY I CAN BARELY EAT FOR A WEEK AND ONLY LOSE HALF A SODDING POUND.

Sorry, just had to shout that out. Hmmm, not happy, I thought at least one good thing would come out of this week and that was a good weight loss, but no. Oh well, there is always next week xxx
 
........ and Ive replied to your text and message on my page lol, this will get confusing! x
 
Yeah maybe it will take a week to catch up with you as it were. You've had some traumas as it were, both mental and physical-its a lot for your body to take on board. x
 
Hi loo,
Just been catching up with your diary and sorry to hear your news.
Chin up old bean, and remember, there is no one in the world who has the right to make you feel this way.
We all love you on here!
 
Ps,
oi oi saveloy!!!
Is that a rainbow I see!?
 
Teehee - I think it is Rosie... yay!

I forgot to tell you yesterday.... I joined a health club at a local hotel, omg - it's AMAZING!!! Just been for a swim, had the pool to myself for most of the time, did 50 lengths (only a 10m pool - hehe) then had 10 minutes in the jackuzzi before having the longest shower ever, using all the lotions etc. I've my gym induction on Friday so guess that is where the hard work starts!!

Red day
B: Porridge (B)
S: Yogurt and banana
L: Turkey salad
S: Alpen light (3 syns)
D: Steak, chips (B and 5 syns for extra pot) and salad
S: flump (1.5 syns)

LUSH xxx
 
awite rosie me old mate - i dont know why i did it in what is a terrible southern accent! indeed it is me, I'll be rocking over to your diary shortly as Im in need of a very good joke!
I am going to a 40th soon where they are a awarding a prize for the best joke that the birthday boy hasnt heard - i think you'll be able to help me! xxx
 
Good luck in the gym, loo, and no oogling the men's bums!
 
Hehe - as if I would...

Anyway, green day today, off to the gym again shortly for a swim.

B: 42g crunchy bran and banana
S: Yogurt
L: Jacket potato with coleslaw from canteen (5 syns for mayo?)
S: Few peanut M&Ms (5 syns?)
D: Pasta with h/m arabatia sauce (B)
 
My worse week is getting worse....aarrgh.

Came out the house this morning and had a flat tyre, so my brother came round to change it and promptly announced all 4 were knackered and I need 4 new ones.... arrgh.

I've got a sporty type car so the tyres are STOOOPID money, looking at over £100 a tyre.

:-(

Food wise...
B: Bacon and onion omlette
L: Yogurt and 2 dry crackers (5 syns)
D: Duck in plum sauce (4 syns) with spoon of rice and a few chips = BAD LOU
 
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