Nikki in ??? IT STOPS NOW!
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great things
Gold Member
think i've up 4lb minimum. well that's what you get for not sticking to plan and struggling all week then ending it with takeout, cake, crisps and birthday cake. today is the start of the new week and a more focused me. loads of exercise to look forward to this week. might even try to get to sat am zumba if hubby will agree. he's on call for 2 weeks constant now as his business partner has gone to belgium on business. so we'll be going no where fast.
cdc wants me to move to a 2 week weigh in. not sure if i'm strong enough to cope for 2 weeks. what to do! will talk to her today. i suppose the whole idea of maintenance is that you're trying to stay around the same weight but will fluctuate up and down. i suppose a 4lbs up and down is a bit excessive. however, i know if i stick to it that it will come off within the next week or 2. just need to be very strict.
cdc wants me to move to a 2 week weigh in. not sure if i'm strong enough to cope for 2 weeks. what to do! will talk to her today. i suppose the whole idea of maintenance is that you're trying to stay around the same weight but will fluctuate up and down. i suppose a 4lbs up and down is a bit excessive. however, i know if i stick to it that it will come off within the next week or 2. just need to be very strict.
angie-bum
Gold Member
Me and you both my dear ;-)
You and me both ;-)
I've used food like a drug, it calms me, it seems to help me forget too. I lost both my parents 5 years ago and ate myself into a stupor, came back up for air and noticed I had put on Nother 2 stone. Lost 5 stone, felt vulnerable got pregnant ate my way up another 6 stone, lost 3, started to put on again. Good grief, this effect food has on me!
I'm totally the same. I am messing about somewhat. Scared if maintenance. Don't know why exactly but for various reasons rolled together.
E.G.
Worried that I'll never eat what I want again ever.
Worried that I'll loose control fully and just eat.
Worried that cause I don't have the perfect body and never have had that I'm a lost cause.
Worried that I'm inferior.
I'm always sure that others eat more than me yet STS in the long run.
I worry that I just don't have enough hours in the day to exercise enough to keep my weight off
I've always thought that I've had to work extra hard at loosing cause I don't loose weight easily enough. This point cause of my pcos. I used to be on metformin but since having my 2 kids the doc stopped it saying that I don't need it now but I do cause my blood sugar spikes when I've eaten anything I shouldn't and takes ages to come back down (these were the tests done which implied I needed metformin, I'd not met my hubby then and kids were not even on the agenda).
I used to exercise each day when I was very big before cd and I used the cals to live on. If I burnt 1000 I'd eat 1000. To loose weight from 22st I starved myself. I've never been a cream cake eater and never lived off takeouts. My biggest downfall was always chocolate and when I was sad and upset I used to eat loads of it. Being bullied at school for being fat made me eat more which made the bullying worse.
The turning point was leaving school at 16 then between loosing weight at 16/17 I put so much back on I reached 22st at 22. I don't even know of much happening to me except for my mum's strokes. She had her 1st the day of my 17th birthday. We'd been out for a meal and we thought she had had too much to drink cause she slurred her words. The next day she was taken into hospital with very high bp. She couldn't talk well and we couldn't understand her. She had to learn to talk properly again. I didn't eat. I stopped eating and was made to by my mum and dad.
6mths after my mum's strokes my dad had his first heart problem. His heart was beating strangely (arythmia sp?) and he had to have his heart stopped and was zapped. 17 was a problematic year for me looking at it!
The next 5 years must have just been me eating! I don't think I remember much.
I think I need a counsellor after reading this through.
You and me both ;-)
I've used food like a drug, it calms me, it seems to help me forget too. I lost both my parents 5 years ago and ate myself into a stupor, came back up for air and noticed I had put on Nother 2 stone. Lost 5 stone, felt vulnerable got pregnant ate my way up another 6 stone, lost 3, started to put on again. Good grief, this effect food has on me!
Surfhunny
Laugh in the face of food
Morning Nikki I hope WI goes well. I've got a really good food diary app called Shape Up for my phone. That let's you add your meals, tells you how many cals you've had but it also let's you put in exercise you've done and takes into account the cals you've burnt. I used it when I was trying to cal count last year and found it really helpful, especially the fact that it adjusts for exercise cals.
You can put as much or as little detail into it as you want. At the moment I keep popping back and updating my weight. If you search the app store for Shape Up Club it's the only app that comes up usually.
Good luck at WI xx
You can put as much or as little detail into it as you want. At the moment I keep popping back and updating my weight. If you search the app store for Shape Up Club it's the only app that comes up usually.
Good luck at WI xx
great things
Gold Member
3.5lb on. So now 11st 5lb. CDC said that looking back um doing well cause I've been around the same weight since December, before Xmas. So 3mths of hovering around the same weight going lower at times.
Greeneyes11
Gold Member
Morning Nicki, thats good if you have managed to maintain your weight for 3 months, I guess it depends whether you are happy at this weight or want to lose more.... if you are happy there and your BMI is good, then you are maintaining okay and just need to keep up the good work. A bit of birthday cake and takeaway is normal, I would just try and pick a less fattening takeaway nowadays than I used to.....
great things
Gold Member
i hate pizza to tell you the truth. it's just greasy, salty with no taste but it was hubby's choice.
we went out on the sat too and i had lunch out. went to pizza express but chose what i wanted which is their lovely tuna salad, no capers or anchovies as i hate them. i tend to leave the bread stick things too. hubby had pizza and choc fudge cake, i was full so just had my salad. i was happy with it too.
great things
Gold Member
i am such a cr@p mum. :cry:
i'm so tired today. dude fell last night. he had a massive egg on his face which is now a big bruise. put ice on it. i kept going to see him. we kept him down for ages to keep an eye on him. so obsessed with the idea of loosing him as i love him so much it hurts. i love my emily but i never bonded as well with her so we are not as close. ashamed of this fact. bad day yesterday emotionally, another hard day today.
exercise tomorrow to look forward to.
core, 4-5 mile run and an hour's zumba class. i'll burn around 1000 cals.
little worried about thursday. it's my exercise day and i think i'm not going to be able to do it. i think i'll need to pick up my aunt from the train station or stay with my mum. i desperately need my exercise. the only thing i can do is talk to my hubby and see if i can do a thursday night zumba class cause i just don't think not doing anything is good for me. it worries me. talk about obsessive. just don't know what to do. worried, very worried. my mum can't be left on her own for 90 mins. so one of us needs to do one job and the other stay with mum. i could do a mega session wednesday. running at the gym then run on friday morning with an extra zumba saturday.
i've gone on to 2 weekly weigh ins now. i'm worried about it all but as my cdc pointed out i have stayed around the same weight going down then back for 3 months.
i need to focus, i need the bum kick every day.
i'm so tired today. dude fell last night. he had a massive egg on his face which is now a big bruise. put ice on it. i kept going to see him. we kept him down for ages to keep an eye on him. so obsessed with the idea of loosing him as i love him so much it hurts. i love my emily but i never bonded as well with her so we are not as close. ashamed of this fact. bad day yesterday emotionally, another hard day today.
exercise tomorrow to look forward to.
core, 4-5 mile run and an hour's zumba class. i'll burn around 1000 cals.
little worried about thursday. it's my exercise day and i think i'm not going to be able to do it. i think i'll need to pick up my aunt from the train station or stay with my mum. i desperately need my exercise. the only thing i can do is talk to my hubby and see if i can do a thursday night zumba class cause i just don't think not doing anything is good for me. it worries me. talk about obsessive. just don't know what to do. worried, very worried. my mum can't be left on her own for 90 mins. so one of us needs to do one job and the other stay with mum. i could do a mega session wednesday. running at the gym then run on friday morning with an extra zumba saturday.
i've gone on to 2 weekly weigh ins now. i'm worried about it all but as my cdc pointed out i have stayed around the same weight going down then back for 3 months.
i need to focus, i need the bum kick every day.
*Shanny*
Gold Member
Oh Nikki you not a bad mum .. accidents happen hunnie, its normal to watch your lil one after a bump on the head.
I do that at school.. when the kids have fallen over etc.
these no harm in trialing the 2 weekly weigh in..i really hope u start to take all this pressure off yourself.
look forward to the future hun.. you have done so well, and we all know it.
Make sure u have an early night and get plenty of sleep. xx
I do that at school.. when the kids have fallen over etc.
these no harm in trialing the 2 weekly weigh in..i really hope u start to take all this pressure off yourself.
look forward to the future hun.. you have done so well, and we all know it.
Make sure u have an early night and get plenty of sleep. xx
Surfhunny
Laugh in the face of food
You're not a cr@p mum Nikki, it's perfectly normal to feel like you do. Not that I know the first thing about parenting.
As for exercising on Thursday, if you can't get there make sure you're extra careful with you food intake and it'll balance out.
I don't think I'm all that great at bum kicking but I am always here xx
As for exercising on Thursday, if you can't get there make sure you're extra careful with you food intake and it'll balance out.
I don't think I'm all that great at bum kicking but I am always here xx
Here you are!! Why do I feel sad you've closed your old diary? Like a bereavement but so so happy fir you having 'graduated' to maintenance. You've been such a good friend and support to me. But I'll just have to come on here to find you!
I seriously don't know how you don't lose every week with the amount of exercise you do. But you'll be ok maintaining nikki. You're strong and sensible, so flipping stand up and finish what you started girl!!!
I seriously don't know how you don't lose every week with the amount of exercise you do. But you'll be ok maintaining nikki. You're strong and sensible, so flipping stand up and finish what you started girl!!!
great things
Gold Member
hi leeds
i'm glad i left enough trails so that my friends can find me.
i felt that i really needed to come here. i felt that by keeping my diary on the diary page that it was contributing to my struggle. i feel that this might help, a sort of graduation, a passage of right type thing. daft or what. i was going to write in both diaries but thought that it might get confusing. so i'm here. i really feel i need to be here too. i need to stand up and finish it off and this is one way i believe that i can do it, i can finish my struggles in one sense. i now need to feel like i belong like i did on the diary page, that i'm not an impostor.
i know that i've worked hard to get here and now need to keep going. i tell you maintenance is hard work. the diet is only the first part of the longer journey to finding yourself.
exercise, it might well be working against me in a sense but i can see my shape changing even more. i love my exercise. i really don't know how i ever coped with not doing it. i get really edgy when i don't do it. i get a real high when i do.
i'm glad i left enough trails so that my friends can find me.
i felt that i really needed to come here. i felt that by keeping my diary on the diary page that it was contributing to my struggle. i feel that this might help, a sort of graduation, a passage of right type thing. daft or what. i was going to write in both diaries but thought that it might get confusing. so i'm here. i really feel i need to be here too. i need to stand up and finish it off and this is one way i believe that i can do it, i can finish my struggles in one sense. i now need to feel like i belong like i did on the diary page, that i'm not an impostor.
i know that i've worked hard to get here and now need to keep going. i tell you maintenance is hard work. the diet is only the first part of the longer journey to finding yourself.
exercise, it might well be working against me in a sense but i can see my shape changing even more. i love my exercise. i really don't know how i ever coped with not doing it. i get really edgy when i don't do it. i get a real high when i do.
great things
Gold Member
bed, i was supposed to be there about 22 mins ago.
right check on dude, check on emily and take her to the loo. night time potty training is going well.
a wee and a weigh for me and i might get a little beck's read before lights out.
right check on dude, check on emily and take her to the loo. night time potty training is going well.
a wee and a weigh for me and i might get a little beck's read before lights out.
cornishkez
Gold Member
Just wanted to quickly add that you said you've stayed around the same weight for the last 3 months. That sounds like maintaining to me! So what if you fluctuate a bit!
And you aren't a bad mum, I'm sure every mother on this planet with more than 1 child has 1 which they bond better with, it doesn't mean you love them any less or that they are treated any worse. Do you think maybe you're compensating dude for your parent and ems relationship? Just a thought?
I get on better and am closer to my day and my sister gets on better with my mum. Like anyone in life, you bond better with different individuals. It's nature, that doesn't mean you love em any less and don't have unconditional live for her . As well, you've had a really rough time with her this last year or so haven't you? With her toilet training etc.
Don't worry about Thursday, it will be good for you to break the habit once in a while, like you said you can up the exercise Wednesday and Friday to compensate.
Is there anything you can do with em to spend some you time together? They do a bambino zumba class down our way.
And you aren't a bad mum, I'm sure every mother on this planet with more than 1 child has 1 which they bond better with, it doesn't mean you love them any less or that they are treated any worse. Do you think maybe you're compensating dude for your parent and ems relationship? Just a thought?
I get on better and am closer to my day and my sister gets on better with my mum. Like anyone in life, you bond better with different individuals. It's nature, that doesn't mean you love em any less and don't have unconditional live for her . As well, you've had a really rough time with her this last year or so haven't you? With her toilet training etc.
Don't worry about Thursday, it will be good for you to break the habit once in a while, like you said you can up the exercise Wednesday and Friday to compensate.
Is there anything you can do with em to spend some you time together? They do a bambino zumba class down our way.
great things
Gold Member
tuesday..... exercise day... whoop whoop whoop whoop. i can't wait. if i didn't have kids i'd be there right now. however, there's the school run to do etc.
focus day.
hunger is not an emergency after the gym i will scoff an apple to keep me going until i can get to proper food! really food, not cr*p!
today's plan....
brekkie - cd bar (not hungry and have eaten it) 175 cals
snack - apple 50 cals
lunch - quorn sarnie 300 cals
snack - apple 50 cals
tea - cottage cheese and salad 350 cals
cd product 140 cals
total from plan.... 1065 - giving me 135 left for another eat....
possible ideas:- yogurt, couple of baby bell cheeses if necessary, a few apples, or a banana - a snack of healthy food not cr*p!
focus on healthy eating, choosing the right thing and not rubbish. my body is a temple of goodness.... i need to worship it to help heal it.
focus day.
hunger is not an emergency
after the gym i will scoff an apple to keep me going until i can get to proper food! really food, not cr*p!today's plan....
brekkie - cd bar (not hungry and have eaten it) 175 cals
snack - apple 50 cals
lunch - quorn sarnie 300 cals
snack - apple 50 cals
tea - cottage cheese and salad 350 cals
cd product 140 cals
total from plan.... 1065 - giving me 135 left for another eat....
possible ideas:- yogurt, couple of baby bell cheeses if necessary, a few apples, or a banana - a snack of healthy food not cr*p!
focus on healthy eating, choosing the right thing and not rubbish. my body is a temple of goodness.... i need to worship it to help heal it.
cornishkez
Gold Member
Yay! Hope you have a great day!
Greeneyes11
Gold Member
Hope your little one is okay now, always scary when they hurt themselves but they are very resilient you know....... probably forgotten all about it now!! Have fun exercising and have a good day food wise xx
great things
Gold Member
Back from exercise. Feeling great
Core stability
3.75 mile run (ran out of time)
Then an hr Zumba
Cals burnt:- 1001
Eaten:-
Cd bar 175
Quorn sarnie 300
Banana 80
Babybel 50 (r.t-605)
Dr pepper zero can
1pt water
1ltr water
Core stability
3.75 mile run (ran out of time)
Then an hr Zumba
Cals burnt:- 1001
Eaten:-
Cd bar 175
Quorn sarnie 300
Banana 80
Babybel 50 (r.t-605)
Dr pepper zero can
1pt water
1ltr water
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