dukannotsofatty
Gold Member
Does anyone have her email or friend on FB....hope she's ok xx
Ok here goes, my journey
- Thread starter Jojo25
- Start date
Awwwww bless you all 
It's been a rollercoaster of a few weeks to be honest, you know I made a formal complaint. Well the comments I made really made them take notice, firstly we had a big meeting, loads of people there to discuss what's been going on. Turns out they are short staffed & some of the staff they do have are in their word "work in progress" they admit there has been instances of neglect & my nan's care hasn't been up to standard. I had passed it on to the CQC & apparently I'm not the only one so they have been down & done a spot check on the ward. Plus I was watching the news one night & there was a report about a baby that had been "neglected" - he had died - poor mite. The interview by the parents were exacytl what I had been saying about the care on my nan so I got in touch with them & they are investigating too.
Ok now onto the important bit my nan. She has been up & down good & bad days. We have been going as much as we can to ensure she is being looked after properly. We had another meeting yesterday where basically they told us because of her age they are not going to do anything more for her. So we are being faced with a decision on whether she goes home with a care package or we try & find her a care home. It was a bit of a shock as previously they had said that she would make near enough a full recovery. I think both my uncle & I are of the same thoughts that she should maybe go into a care home - not that she is going to like it, but at the moment she still thinks that she can do things & if she was to go home & no one was there she could have a fall etc.... plus the fact she is bed ridden now so all she would be doing is waiting for the next person to come in. Ultimatley though they said she is going to get infection after infection & each time she will become weaker & weaker, until......... It's been hard for me to accept, she has been such a major part of my life, more of a mother to me than my own & mainly the reason i have turned out the way I have.
I feel absolutley dreadul about it but I can't given up my job to look after her & my uncle has said he would do all the practical stuff but he just can't wash her "bits" & stuff.
So now next week we have a meeting on getting things kicked off - the hosiptal don't know what our decision is yet but they did say she need continuous care so I think they are trying to steer us in that direction.
TDM's brother has had the all clear regarding cancer but they still aren't happy with him so he is undergoing more tests.
I now have a prolasped disc - I've had them before hence me having 3 operations so I am suffering too
Diet is hit & miss - some good days & some not so good but I guess I can be forgiven My nan had lost 2st in 6 weeks !!!! I think that's mainly because they were leaving her food tray out of reach.
Apart from that I still haven't got my place fully emptied & let out but I am giving TDM lists of things to do at his We've fully moved bedrooms now & that is all finished. He moaned about it as men do but secretly I know he is pleased with it as I overheard him showing it off to his daughter.
Thank you all so much for thinking about me, much love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
It's been a rollercoaster of a few weeks to be honest, you know I made a formal complaint. Well the comments I made really made them take notice, firstly we had a big meeting, loads of people there to discuss what's been going on. Turns out they are short staffed & some of the staff they do have are in their word "work in progress" they admit there has been instances of neglect & my nan's care hasn't been up to standard. I had passed it on to the CQC & apparently I'm not the only one so they have been down & done a spot check on the ward. Plus I was watching the news one night & there was a report about a baby that had been "neglected" - he had died - poor mite. The interview by the parents were exacytl what I had been saying about the care on my nan so I got in touch with them & they are investigating too.
Ok now onto the important bit my nan. She has been up & down good & bad days. We have been going as much as we can to ensure she is being looked after properly. We had another meeting yesterday where basically they told us because of her age they are not going to do anything more for her. So we are being faced with a decision on whether she goes home with a care package or we try & find her a care home. It was a bit of a shock as previously they had said that she would make near enough a full recovery. I think both my uncle & I are of the same thoughts that she should maybe go into a care home - not that she is going to like it, but at the moment she still thinks that she can do things & if she was to go home & no one was there she could have a fall etc.... plus the fact she is bed ridden now so all she would be doing is waiting for the next person to come in. Ultimatley though they said she is going to get infection after infection & each time she will become weaker & weaker, until......... It's been hard for me to accept, she has been such a major part of my life, more of a mother to me than my own & mainly the reason i have turned out the way I have.
I feel absolutley dreadul about it but I can't given up my job to look after her & my uncle has said he would do all the practical stuff but he just can't wash her "bits" & stuff.
So now next week we have a meeting on getting things kicked off - the hosiptal don't know what our decision is yet but they did say she need continuous care so I think they are trying to steer us in that direction.
TDM's brother has had the all clear regarding cancer but they still aren't happy with him so he is undergoing more tests.
I now have a prolasped disc - I've had them before hence me having 3 operations
so I am suffering tooDiet is hit & miss - some good days & some not so good but I guess I can be forgiven
My nan had lost 2st in 6 weeks !!!! I think that's mainly because they were leaving her food tray out of reach.Apart from that I still haven't got my place fully emptied & let out but I am giving TDM lists of things to do at his
We've fully moved bedrooms now & that is all finished. He moaned about it as men do but secretly I know he is pleased with it as I overheard him showing it off to his daughter.Thank you all so much for thinking about me, much love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
CPL
Dukan Veteran
oh Jo what a nightmare, you hear now of so many cases like your Nans, its a tragedy that this is happening so frequently but with the state of the NHS its not that surprising. Im sure you will make the right decision for your Nan, you need to go round and have a look at some care homes and ask lots of questions. The same goes for care agencies providing care at home. Ask about contingency planning.
Glad you and TDM are sorting yourselves out too
Take it easy sweetheart x
Glad you and TDM are sorting yourselves out too
Take it easy sweetheart x
CheeseGirl
Gold Member
Good to hear from you Jo, and very glad you're managing as best you can. Agree with Col to check places out and you're right in taking this decision because caring for a sick elderly person at home is very challenging and emotionally and physically exhausting. Also seems like good news on the future BIL, so you need to take care of yourself as well, don't do yourself completely in with that disc - then you'll be of no use to anyone Take care!
Take care!dukannotsofatty
Gold Member
Jo good to hear from you, thanks for taking time to update us, its an awful time that you have been having. We too had to make that decision for my nan but ultimately it was the best decision. Everything you have said about yours almost echoes what happened with her....check out a few homes, talk to residents, get a feel for staff if you can.
But take the time to chill yourself otherwise you will burn yourself out hunni, been there !!!! Hope the pain of your disc isn't too bad, back pain is an awful thing, people just don't realise how bad it can get. take care and hugs xxxxxxx
But take the time to chill yourself otherwise you will burn yourself out hunni, been there !!!! Hope the pain of your disc isn't too bad, back pain is an awful thing, people just don't realise how bad it can get. take care and hugs xxxxxxx
Hey sexy ladies, well the old coaster called my life continues
The beginning of the week we had a meeting with the social worker who told us that if my nan wanted to go home they couldn't stop her even if they knew she would end up back in hospital. We then went out & spoke to my nan who of course said she wanted to go home. Problem is she is bedridden so we are worried she might try & get up thinking she can & end up breaking a bone or worse. So we then pushed for an assessment & the person doing the assessment said they didn't think my nan understood the questions & deemed her not to be able to make such an important decision on her own. So now we are waiting for a "best interests" meeting which hopefully will say she can go into a nice home & be looked after
The other news I have is TDM's brother has got cancer don't know much yet. He has a meeting next week..
We have a week's holiday planned for July Sara but I doubt my nan will be sorted then so it looks like we won't get away until maybe September.
I'm also no neater to letting my place out so maybe in the July holiday we can get everything sorted out.
Hope you are all looking forward to a nice long bank holiday xxxxx
The beginning of the week we had a meeting with the social worker who told us that if my nan wanted to go home they couldn't stop her even if they knew she would end up back in hospital. We then went out & spoke to my nan who of course said she wanted to go home. Problem is she is bedridden so we are worried she might try & get up thinking she can & end up breaking a bone or worse. So we then pushed for an assessment & the person doing the assessment said they didn't think my nan understood the questions & deemed her not to be able to make such an important decision on her own. So now we are waiting for a "best interests" meeting which hopefully will say she can go into a nice home & be looked after
The other news I have is TDM's brother has got cancer
don't know much yet. He has a meeting next week..We have a week's holiday planned for July Sara but I doubt my nan will be sorted then so it looks like we won't get away until maybe September.
I'm also no neater to letting my place out so maybe in the July holiday we can get everything sorted out.
Hope you are all looking forward to a nice long bank holiday xxxxx
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Paulinegin
Gold Member
xxx
CheeseGirl
Gold Member
I think P summed it up
CPL
Dukan Veteran
Oh sweetie things are really trying for you at the moment. It's sounds like the social worker is a good one using the mental capacity act to assess your nan is really good.
it's a tough decision to make but you have to assess the risks of living by herself against her living in care and does she understand them too.
My uncle who recently passed away had nurses coming each day to see him at home he had four visits a day, it's what he wanted, my mum and a friend went to see him everyday it was a worry for them leaving him at times on his own.
if she is going into care just make sure you go round a few places and ask tons of questions just go to places and knock on the door and ask to see round.
So sad about your bil hope he gets all the treatments he needs xx
it's a tough decision to make but you have to assess the risks of living by herself against her living in care and does she understand them too.
My uncle who recently passed away had nurses coming each day to see him at home he had four visits a day, it's what he wanted, my mum and a friend went to see him everyday it was a worry for them leaving him at times on his own.
if she is going into care just make sure you go round a few places and ask tons of questions just go to places and knock on the door and ask to see round.
So sad about your bil hope he gets all the treatments he needs xx
dukannotsofatty
Gold Member
Good grief JoJo, so sorry to hear about BIL, fingers crossed for hopeful news on the treatment front. As for Nan, I think Col said it right, visit as many as you can and don't ring in advance, just turn up and ask if you can have a word and a look round. it puts them on the hop and if there are problems they can't sweep them under the carpet.
