Pheonix's Diary

STS again , Crikey that means I havnt lost anything in 9 days ,(well briefly lost 1lb then gained it again )
I know i had a tough weekend and a couple of indescretions but Ive been good the rest of the time this is really getting ridiculous now

Anyway biger things to worry about , 2 hospital appointments today , Im having a 24 hr heart monitor fitted to findout what , if anything is going on wit my heart , been getting some arythmia ,like a jolt/thud in my chest and shortness of breath
Then straight to ENT to try and figure out if there is anything can be done for my tinnitus
fingers crossed for good results or at least some answers , cant see me getting much sleep tonight all wired up and im awful if i dont get enough sleep

Oh well has to be done , have a good day everyone
 
I know how STS feels, not nice but keep going!

Good luck with both your hospital appointments, I had a 24hr heart trace done a couple of years ago, nothing to it, after a few hours you tend to forget that you have it on. Make sure you wear something that you can put the data recorder into, a pocket or something? Otherwise it will drive you mad lol

Let us know how you get on later! X
 
thanks thats a good tip , ill have to dig something out with a pocket now , tend to wear leggings these days , as all my jeans are either too big or too small
 
Oh dear today is an absolute right off already , recived some free thorntons chocolates this morning and have devoured the lot , now feel a bit dizzy and sick form the sugar rush

what was I thinking ? well i was thinking , 9 frigging days and i havnt lost an ounce so sod it , whats the point !!!
and Im now tempted to just eat what the hell i like for the rest of the day or even week/month /year , it does seem like a bloody thankless task at the moment :cry:

People are losing massive amounts and my scales wont budge and i know i messed up at the weekend but im still eating less than 1000 calories even n the days ive cheated and about 600 on the days i dont so why the hell arent i losing weight it doesnt make any sense to me

when im in ketosis im still blody hungry and its not fair :mad:

Im so pi**ed off

sorry about the swearing :eek:
 
Well what u going to do with ur months supply then? Lol do u feel u want to do the diet, or you just having a bad moment? I have em all the time lol its just such an all or nothing diet isnt it. Those with the bigger losses tend to be heavier and doesnt mean its going to stay off i.e me!! Lol x
 
I think the frustration comes from being stuck at the same weight for so long , been hanging around 11st 1 for 6 weeks now and i just want to see 10 on the scales
If it was straightforward then I wouldnt get so peed off
stick to the plan lose weight , dont stick to the plan gain weight , it just doesnt work like that and when you try really hard and nothing happens you just think what is the point
I do want to do it , Ive got more like 8 weeks supply actually. lol.
 
Oh dear I'm really sorry its not going well for you - I dread that happening to me if I maange to stick it out and then don't see any loss on the bloody scales.

But thats whats so great about this forum you can come on here and rant and get advice support, telling off....whatever it is you are looking for!!

So stick with it!! Logic says if you are following it and eating so few calories you MUST lose weight. xxx
 
thankyou so much
well so far today , 8 thorntons chocolate , 2 slices ham , 4 biscuits , one small bowl of fruit and fibre ,15 jelly beans

...hardly healthy choices but im really not in the right frame of mind today , possibly other things on my mind , had 2 hospital appointments today and im now wearing a 24 hr heart monitor as ive been having arrhythmias , also had to go to ENT , have tinnitus and as i thought they can find no physical reason for it which means no treatment , which was what I was dreading.

Im going to try to get back on tomoro :-(
 
Chin up Phoenix. If it makes you feel any better I got 'into the 13s' 6 weeks ago and I'm still only halfway through the 13s. I'm not looking forward to another 6 weeks to go before I get 'in the 12s' but I know it's harder than it was to start with as I've lost quite a bit, and obviously you lose more when you're heavier, plus some people, ie me! are slow losers.
 
So yesterday was a complete right off , head all over the place

Im not even going to weigh myself today because Ive most probably regained about 5lb of water and it will just bring me down again :break_diet:

Im going to get back on track and do 100% between now and Monday , weigh myself monday and hope Ive broken through the 11st barrier , what are the chances , well not good!! but thats my mini goal

and speaking of goals Im going to re-evaluate all mine becasue I think Im putting too much pressure on myself , my journey is definitely going to be via the scenic route and it may take longer but once im there Im staying put :)
 
Couldn't agree more about not weighing in. It won't be a true reflection and u already know what you've got to do so there's no need. I've been inspired by you sticking to plan in the past so I know for sure you can do it. Just don't let the negative options creep in. Say no and arm yourself ready with all those positive reasons why you are doing this. We all slip usually so don't stress about it - a few days will fly by and you'll be right back on plan xx
 
Hehe, I'm sure u will! Maintaining is proving a challenge already lol but like you I'm re focusing again! X
 
Where art thou Phoenix? xx
 
Im here Juliet :) Just updating

mon 16 11.2
tues 17 trying and failing
wed 18 still trying still failing
thurs 19 have all but given up at this point
fri 20 went food shopping
sat 21 emptied fridge , avoiding scales
sun 22 emptied cupboards , still avoiding scales
mon 23 11.8 :eek: 5 packs plus ham plus cheese
tues 24 11.5 :) aiming for 100% today

would be happy at this point to end Jan where I started to be honest at 11.2 as this month has been such a disaster for me on so many levels , personally , healthwise , and complete lack of motivation

I refuse to feel guilty , that is not a healthy emotion , and what is done is done , Im not sure where I go from here and im not looking for motivational words or judgements , simply keeping my diary updated as whats the point of a diary if you dont keep it honestly , one day someone might read it and see that some peoples journeys are longer than others and self sabotage is a very complicated issue.

Hope you all have a good result for January :D
 
Glad to see you back Phoenix I was just thinking about you this morning!! You've only gone up 3lb that'll be off in no time and you can pretend your difficult time didn't happen. Hope things are going a bit better for you in other areas of your life! xx
 
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