Step one ... Well okay perhaps step one hundred or so

So I thought that keeping a diary might help, but I'm thinking more about compiling (not hoarding ... In no way am I hoarding) a daily insight into my strange but rewarding life, as well as my weightloss journey.

So like I said ahem, step one.
So far I've lost three pound of fat (gross) I'm hoping I'm not like Samson is with his hair with my fat, is it fat power?
fat is my foe. My nemesis. My ultimate evil enemy. And it's pretty much been like this for most of my adult life, well I was a rather chunky kid to be honest too.
I'm doing slimming world, because loosing a couple of pounds a week is suitable to me so it's not to stressing and also I only needed to loose 1 stone 8lbs this time around as I'm determined not to go back to the having to lose a million stones yet again, I'm really annoyed with myself for allowing me to get chubby oh yet again, but food is just too good.
In fact everything is good. It's also my biggest downfall. My whole relationship with food has been a nightmare, I'm not sure I want to share all that as yet, but I don't really like to share anything as I much prefer collecting.
I like to collect things including food, my family like to call it hoarding, but collecting suits me best.
Why I like to have lots of stuff is in simple terms because I'm greedy. And lazy, if I have lots of everything then I don't have to go any where, but I still get to have it. See ... Lazy n greedy!
Perhaps that's what I should have called this diary.

Anyhow my plan tonight
I'm off to cook up a storm in my kitchen ... Chops for tea tonight (no fat on them tho ... Boo hoo) with slimming world chips and peas, delishious

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Well that never went to plan, I ended up just eating a couple of chops. Why, I'm not really sure, another combination of laziness and greed, and also the temptation to just eat everything or they looked too lovely and I couldn't be bothered to wait for the chips to be ready so I ate the chops by themselves, and my fella got the chips chops and peas.
Oh well halfway is better than nothing I suppose. :(
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Okay so today is the 5th of July, not really got much planned but I fancy a nice salad type affair already today as it's hot.
I have a shed load of other stuff also but just about to have breakfast, so here's the food plan

X2 weetabix and milk
(Sometimes this is a killer to get down in the morning first thing but I've woken up feeling unusually peckish, very odd for first thing in the morning)

X1 apple
Crunchy Salad
Wholemeal wrap
X1 teaspoon Extra light mayo

Pasta, tuna, sweet corn, extra light mayo

I'm also trying to incorporate lots of water, and diet lemonade as I need to incorporate other drinks. In the past I've restricted my self to just water and if I get into the unhealthy super speedy diet mentality (which i do rather easily, I hate to admit) it's a slippery slope, so aiming for 1-2 lb a week, and at the moment this suits me fine. I mentioned on someone's page that if you loose just 1lb a week that's 52lb a year which equates to 3 and a half stones, happy days. Therefore having only a stone and a half to loose at the beginning of this journey (this time around) that means roughly in a third of a year or four months and I'm there. Not really struggling too much with restricted food rations etc.
I have to say I'm finding slimming world really good as far as allowing me to eat unmeasured portions and thinking it's helping to retrain my brain into healthy eating and not dieting as such. However that said, I do tend to binge or as I like to call it ... Pig out
And this is another thing I have to watch out for, and slimming world allowing me to eat super large portions if I so wish of things like pasta and potatoes, well it's scary to think if I take my eye off the ball how that would end up.
I've done it a million times over. People say I'm not fat but my body image is really out of whack. I also know that at 5ft 2" and 11st 1lb when I started this that er yes I am overweight.
However I'm determined if nothing else to show my children that I can sit and eat with them at meal times something that until very recently I've not really done, and the fact that they are 13 and 10 makes me a little embarrassed to admit that. Also it prepares them and introduces them to normal healthy eating habits and something I am proud to admit is although my relationship with food has always been a rough one, I've fully encouraged good food habits with my children and their food, although this is probably why I never sat down and ate with them very much.
So anyhow, without further ado
Roll on four months and my brain retrain. I wonder if when I read this back if I will see changes in myself and my thoughts related to food.

*First thought for the day.
Already there's a change I'd have never ever eaten weetabix especially not in the morning and I brought porridge this week too (haven't eaten any yet) but porridge would have never been on my food list. Don't think I've eaten porridge since I was about 10. So building up to that.
Right diary overload! Ah well so what ... It's my diary!
Did lunch and breakfast as planned had a walk up town too... no car so nice light ecercise, I'm going to admit I haven't done my DVD today ... Why not ... Errrr because the sun is shining and it's nice and hot hot hot. And couldn't be bothered to get wet n sweaty, jumping around the front room, but up the town today I treated myself to a weighted hula hoop. It's wicked and super easy to use. I've never really been able to do hula hooping but last year I tried my friends weighted one and it was simple , just like this one ... Yes in the zone
Ah also some snaps of my chubbiness, these were taken on the day I started. I hate pictures of myself but had to be done if only for motivational purposes. "Cringe" also thats either a hole in my top (oh the shame) or something stuck to it (just as much shame) IMG_20170705_130034583.jpg IMG_20170705_130024116.jpg
Hope everythings ok, you and me are similar I was 11st as well I am about 5ft 3 it has taken longer for me to lose weight and I haven't really noticed the weight loss
, anyway ive lost 9 pounds and thought i had stop losing weight until today when I weighed myself! I have had a few junk food i don't feel deprived but some days I eat less than other days, i also try and do excersise. Its not easy but can be done. you haven't got far to go either. I too feel chubby at times im a bit top heavy as well which doesnt help. You say you are lazy and greedy, I too sometimes feel this way but I try and keep busy as im not working at the moment. I go to the gym library and I volunteer at my local theatre. You should think about what you enjoy doing. I understand that hoarding can be triggered by an emotional trauma, if you can have a clear out Xxx
Hi there.
I am quite an emotional person but I actually think I just like having stuff (not actually sure any of it is any good) to be honest. But yes I think I'm going to start by clearing me out (out with the old me and in with the new) then I've given myself a deadline of Christmas for the clearing of my collections from my house.

Oh yes back to food
So I've also eaten some pea snacks from aldi (wahoo go me) they was working out at 4.5 syns a packet so quite a tasty little treat actually. As I like a packet of crisps, these were a nice alternative. And ok 4.5 syns is not super low but seen as my meals today have only seen me spend 1+1/2 syns so far I thought I could afford to push the boat out.

On another kind of disgusting note, I brought some sticky fly paper things from up the town today and I know they are vile but they do work at reducing the fly problem in the summer. Anyway like I was saying I got these fly tapes and while putting one up it swung around and stuck to my flabby bingo wing (erugh) even more disgusting as I peeled it off, my bingo wing then whilst covered in sticky gunk decided to attach itself to my boob and my hair ... Thank heavens it was fly free. Oh imagine yuk
6th of July.
Breakfast: x2 weetabix and milk
Lunch: pea crisp from aldi.
Dinner: roast gammon, boiled pots, brand and egg.

This is the plan.
Fingers crossed.
Thats good that youve set your self some goals. I too have a lot of stuff mainly clothes but I have donated some to charity shops and put most of the stuff in boxes in the cupboard. Im so glad I have a cupboard. I do however need to sort out the things in cupboard maybe be a bit ruthless! Come to think of think of it I don't really use the stuff that I've got so wouldn't really miss it.

Wow I didn't you could get pea snacks!

Your food plan looks good.
The pea snacks was a light bite to be honest, but I was in a rush. I'm a mobile hair stylist, so it was grab something on the run in between clients. They are like crisps sort of. But they are only 4.5 or 4 syns on slimming world depending on what ones you have.
Also think I'm going to join a slimming world group this week, maybe tonight don't know yet as I have a free membership ticket in my magazine so it's only the £4.95 weekly fee to pay and that seems good to me. Also I've been reading up on the lady who is training to become a consultant and you have to be a member of slimming world to do that, and i think that would be a fun job, but also one to help keep me on the straight and narrow in the future. It's no way a plan just keeping the possibility there as I already work self employed and who knows, life is too be lived.
So I've decided to go to group tomorrow morning at 9:30 as I'm up early anyways. So I'll let you know how that pans out.
Breakfast: porridge
Lunch: couscous Moroccan style
Dinner: chicken curry and rice
Food was lovely today and I had some chocolate too .. naughty I know but i thought a little of what you fancy as opposed to a binge, which is what I normally do. But hey i needed it.