The 14st Curse: Ellie's journey

[PurpleButterfly]

Hahaha! doh it may be too late, I had the ultimate in chocolate brownies today, pure heaven and the very best I've ever tasted by far.. but I'm sure I caught a glimpse of one of those nasty lil evil bunny squatters at the bottom of the bag. Ah well. On the pleasure vs pain scale I reckon it was way more pleasure than the pain will be in evicting it.

 

[bronski]

Mmmm... brownies! I know a fantastic recipe if you like to bake!

And totally calorie free... kinda...

Bron

 

[PurpleButterfly]

Haha! Calorie free brownies sound excellent, I'd love that recipe. Mmmmm brownies.

 

[Gemstone]

Methinks Bron's nose is growing - porkie pies anyone?

 

[PurpleButterfly]

Someone give me a :coponlease!

I've been really bad today, gone way over my calories. Not the very end of the world but I do need to address those reasons WHY. Now.

For ages I've had a mental block about going under 14st. I have 80% got over it and ok with going under 14st now. It's just that now I'm exactly 14st I can feel it starting to creep back in, that old little voice that's panicking about going smaller than I've ever been..

I CAN get back on track and pull it back for a weight loss this week even though I messed today up.
I mean before, I didn't want to go under 14st because I couldn't recognise my new emerging body. I've had time to adjust and I like my new body. I even look at my wobbly bits and can't wait to lose weight and remove them..
So I need to get my head back down and work myself well again for a decent loss.

Another 2lb would be great. 3lb even better. And to keep my head on track I need to focus Just on getting to 13st7. For me that will be getting over that mental block I have about going under 14st.

:copon:

:copon:



COME ON!

 

[PurpleButterfly]

Interesting!! Ok yesterday was a binging disaster. I had loads of chocolate and fizzy drink (ok it was diet) and just not good generally. As this is part of the reason why we have these diaries, to record ups and downs and begin to see patterns I feel it's only right that I should record the consequences of having dived off the rails so spectacularly!

Today my body has felt so so rubbish. Sorry this is probably going to be tmi. But I've been really windy today, and also been a bit explosive as well. And... So smelly!! :ashamed0005::faint2: Hehe like every time I have to run out the room cos I think I'm about to die of gas poisoning! I also feel really sort of bloated and just not well/healthy feeling like I normally feel.

Bleugh that'll learn me. I already feel better emotionally, having dissected the reasons why I did that. Alright now. But wow it really did feel like pollution to my body that it's desperately trying to expel and get rid of, having got used to months of lots of healthy wholefoods..

Feeling better as the day goes on, and I'm back to my normal diet of good stuff (and probably having expelled all the crap from my body by now!).

 

[Silence]

Ellie, everyone has bad days where they lose track. What's important is to do what you have done, to draw a line under it and get right back on track.
If I were you I'd be thinking about the broader benefits about losing weight and getting fit, don't put too much emphasis on the numbers on the scale and don't put too much pressure on yourself to be a certain weight. Celebrate what you've learned and enjoy your new lifestyle choices. Give yourself a break hun.

 

[PurpleButterfly]

Thanks Silence!

Yeah actually, genuinely I do feel much more relaxed about the weight loss this time. Although I do have targets in mind I'm not being rigid about them in terms of time frame. I just want to make sure I lose *something* each week. Also with holiday looming I'd just love to get as much off before then as poss but I wouldn't beat myself up even if I STS til then. Hehe at least it's winter out there so I don't have to worry about bikini bod or anything! be covered up in salopettes and long johns!

I think it's not that I am so focused on the numbers, just this 14st barrier like I said it's a mental block for me cos I haven't ever been below that in my adult life. Once I get below and get past this mental block I'll be fine again

 

[bronski]

Weekends are massive sabatuers, aren't they? Everything goes so well until Saturday and everything changes. Seriously, don't beat yourself up about it. Everyone has bad days, even the skinniest of size 0 minnies. We can only work to make tomorrow a healthier day

Silence is right, we shouldn't put so much emphasis on what the scales read. Don't think about the numbers, think about the wonderful new clothes you'll get to buy, the fantastic compliments, the great experiences to come. You deserve to reach your goals

Bron

 

[PurpleButterfly]

Right. Made my mind up.

I had another bad day today. Started well but this afternoon just lost the plot again altho I don't think as bad calorie wise as yesterday. Good news is that there's very little I can overindulge badly with now. I think that was partly the mistake: buying too many goodies thinking they would be treats at asda. Not ready for that yet obviously.

Last time when I had a wobble like this it helped me to get back on track to ban myself from the scales. That way I will do my best with my diet without the numbers mattering. When wobble is over I'll weigh again.

Time to take a positive step forwards to help myself. No weighing. :copon: I should have read the warning signs when I started to weigh more than once a week. And I'm going to go for a weight loss this week and get back on track that's all that matters.

The weight will come off when it comes off. Time to remember that again. Scales are just numbers and numbers do not matter. Silly Ellie. Silly, silly billy.

Getting my head back on track.

 

[Gemstone]

Right - Monday morning we all push right on 'til Friday and prove that Friday Girls not only rock but they are right little

​

 

[Silence]

A lot of people I know have their friends or family hide the scales and only bring them out on WI day or switch WI to a set of scales in a public place to make it easier to only weigh in once a week!

 

[bronski]

Gem's right; we've got to set an example as friday girls

*holds out a stick to cling to for stability while wobbling* Don't fret it, bud. Tomorrow will be excellent; we've got our bad days out of our system, and it's the start of a new week And don't stop treating yourself after this one bad experience with it. Maybe don't keep anything too bad in and actually buy a treat on the day so you're not as tempted.

Have a smashing monday!

Bron

 

[Gemstone]

We'll be the Friday nuns - nun of this, nun of that and nun of anything else x

 

[PurpleButterfly]

Hahah! Yeah exactly. Today is going to be back to normal eating. Friday nuns indeed!

I had been treating myself before just buying a couple of those fudges & kids chocs at a time. It's just at the supermarket I bought too much of stuff that's tempting! Just like honey coated macademias (nom), caramel snackajacks, bag of treatsize chocs..

Today I am a Friday Nun!

Last exam today.... monday morning, eeeevil to have an exam today. Wohoo all over in a couple of hours! Off out tonight with the girls to celebrate the end of year finished!

 

[Gemstone]

Good luck with the exam.

I buy treat size packs and put in my "naughty box" and allow myself just one thing when I've been good. I haven't had any lately cos I've been bad. I don't keep it too handy - it's in a cupboard out of sight but I know it's there and when I'm "in the zone" it's something to look forward to. I never use the naughty box to binge as if I don't treat it with respect I will get rid of it.

So remember nun today, nun tomorrow nun the next day and nun Thursday - Friday Nuns are Rockin' x

 

[bronski]

Oo, good luck with your last exam! And have a great time with the girls!

Mmm, honey coated macadamias! Nice!

I have a treat box as well, though mine's called The America Box. Every friday I have something from it. It's still well stocked from Christmas, then it's been topped up since I came back from the US, and I still have all my Easter eggs to go in. It's nice to look forward to it all

Bron

 

[Gemstone]

I've had nun today - I'm going well.

........ and no snacks

 

[bronski]

Gem: I've had a nun day too! Go us

You partying hard, Ellie?

Bron

 

[Gemstone]

Way to go for the NUNS!