The Road Less Travelled

[CatCrazy]

I think you are right Cat that no one else has said my face looks a mess, maybe I am being too critical, or maybe its just a matter of getting used to the new me. My face has changed a lot in the last month or so, and its a bit scary seeing that kind of change.

A good friend will say something without it even entering your head that its jealousy so I'd say you're just not used to the reflection in the mirror yet. Enjoy those 12's! Yayyy!!!


Side note; Isnt it funny how weight and size can differ. I was a size 14 bottoms at 154lb (Top half was 18-20 due to my e cups!) Think I was 130lbs when I was a size 12. Not going there again, i'm the wrong side of 40 and KNOW my face will suffer at that weight

 

[Aline]

Sweet Lynn, you can't be that perfectionist. We're human, and you know that most women at your age (50, right?) would kill to look healthy as you do. Do you realise it, right?

Also, as you age the body and face changes, it's not only because of the weight and I think you're aging so lovely. I'm serious when I say I hope to look as vibrant and healthy as you do when I'll reach your age. You have gorgeous eyes, great 12 size legs (wow), a good sense of style, a beautifull smile... So, instead of overanalyse your flaws (that only you see, because no one else sees a "mess" face or "scary" arms), instead of that focus on every nice and exciting thing you got now.
Do you think there are many 50 woman who wear a size12? No, there aren't Enjoy you fabulous legs and eyes and smile instead of looking at your arms. Because sometimes people looks so much time for their flaws that they start to see them worse than they really are.

Sorry for the long post, I just want to make sure you look at what is good as well and keep you in perspective

xx

 

[Lynn_]

I think this is what has suprised me the most Cat, the weight v size issue. 17 years ago I lost all the weight and the lowest i got to was 11.10. At that weight then i was a size 16 ( I was 37 then) and there was no way that another 5lb off would have put me in a 12. This time when i hit 11.10 I was an easy size 14, its very strange how it works out. Even when I got married at 21, I weighed 10.7lb and was nowhere near a size 12, i was a 14 to 16 then, in fact my wedding dress was a size 16. I guess its down to fat distribution and ratio of muscle, but its all a bit of a mystery.

 

[Lynn_]

Sweet Lynn, you can't be that perfectionist. We're human, and you know that most women at your age (50, right?) would kill to look healthy as you do. Do you realise it, right?

Also, as you age the body and face changes, it's not only because of the weight and I think you're aging so lovely. I'm serious when I say I hope to look as vibrant and healthy as you do when I'll reach your age. You have gorgeous eyes, great 12 size legs (wow), a good sense of style, a beautifull smile... So, instead of overanalyse your flaws (that only you see, because no one else sees a "mess" face or "scary" arms), instead of that focus on every nice and exciting thing you got now.
Do you think there are many 50 woman who wear a size12? No, there aren't Enjoy you fabulous legs and eyes and smile instead of looking at your arms. Because sometimes people looks so much time for their flaws that they start to see them worse than they really are.

Sorry for the long post, I just want to make sure you look at what is good as well and keep you in perspective

xx

Ahh your so lovely Aline and of course you are absolutely right. At my age (actually 55) Im not doing so bad I guess.
I think there are 2 parts to this problem im going through. First I regret badly that I didnt keep the weight off when i lost it all before, when i was young enough for my body to recover from losing 6 stone. And second, and maybe the hardest to get to grips with is that Ive never really looked my age before. People would be shocked to discover that i have 5 grandchildren, 1 of whom is now nearly 19 as most people put my age at around 40. BUT the reason I looked younger was because the excess fat filled out my face and made my skin look smoother.

So, im having to make a lot of mental adjustments. Ive gone from being fat to being thin in 6 months. Something that Im totally over the moon about and dont regret for 1 single second, despite all the problems ive had getting there. But the price of that is saggy skin and a saggy face, however as you say I have fabulous legs lol, even I will admit to that . And my other great feature is my hair, I really do have great hair, so im pretty grateful for that small mercy.

I need to focus on whats good, and stop looking at the things im not so comfortable with, because short of surgery, I cant change it so unless I simply accept it Im going to end up making myelf unhappy when really I shoudl be over the moon.

This is the wonderful thing about this site. Im not sure who I could turn to to discuss my worries about my weight loss, about my worries of keeping it off, how i will deal with maintenace. But here I can air all this and people understand the issues, or at least can relate to them. My hubby is lovely and so is the rest of my family. They see that ive lost weight and they are all thrilled with me for doing so, so when i try to tell them about my worries, i get told that i look wonderful, that I look thin and so on. They dont see that there is a problem for me to adjust to this. I dont get the feedback I really need, which I do here. To my family, the fact that ive lost the weight is the end of the problem, but for me I see it as just the beginning of the problem.

So really, thank you to everyone who gives the time to comment on my worries and especially to Healthy Cat and Aline for being so understanding

 

[Aline]

I'm glad we can support you in a way

I didn't know you lost all the weight in 6 months, it's a great achievement, but the changes happen so fast that it's natural that you hadn't the chance to fully adjust to your new self.

Regarding your last words, well, a supportive forum is meant to be supportive. Besides I really like to read your posts because you're always a very genuine person, you talk about food/diet, but also about clothes shopping, funny hubby and son, etc and it's enjoyable to check your thread

xx

 

[Healthy2010]

Lynn,

I must say your last post was such an endearing post to read, as I think its so good to say how you feel and air things that otherwise wouldnt have an outlet. Losing weight at whatever age is very emotional and getting to know the new person looking back at you in the mirror is hard. I'm glad you share how you feel, as it can only help to work through your thoughts and it's thought provoking for the rest of us . I honestly think you look absolutely brilliant and absolutely do not look your age, despite your weight loss.

I really don't think you should regret previous weight loss/gains, with your help and advice I got past this as you made me realise that we all go through stages in life and it's such a waste of time regretting things you can't change. Just try and think how good it feels that you've got there now and focus on accepting the new you.

I really think you should film yourself and see what others see as I bet you still can't see how slim and gorgeous you are, maybe that would help you to focus on the brilliance of what you've achieved rather than see aspects of your body you dont like.

Once you've stopped losing weight, your body will settle down and you'll get used to things and hopefully love every part of the new you.

Xxx

 

[Lynn_]

Ah thanks Healthy I needed that reminder . Of course there is no point in regretting the past, and I know its something I will tell others but forget to apply to myself haha .

Have really pigged out this weekend, Fridays party wasnt too bad foodwise, I did drink a lot though and had a lot of fun . The really funny part was that I got 'warned off' in a strong body language way by a female colleague, if you know what I mean when I went to sit and chat with one of the guys. It was bloody hilarious, I had no idea she had the hots for him, I know now though lol. Her hand was clamped so tight to his knee that I thought it might become a permanent fixture. They are both married, not to each other I might add, but good luck to them.

Saturday hubby and I went out for Indian, and I ate way too much! Then Sunday evening we were invited to the new neighbours who recently moved in, for mulled wine and mince pies. I think i drank about 6 glasses of the mulled wine, it was gorgeous, Jamie Oliver recipe apparently. At least I think thats what she said. I almost fell over when we were leaving and couldnt stop giggling when we got home. I lost count of the mince pies and other bits I ate there. Rob was cooking roast lamb when we got back so he dished me up a small slice of lamb and a yorkshire pudding. Yummy.

My weight was 11.6 this morning, 2lbs up from midweek last week, hardly surprising lol. The jeans still fit though

 

[Healthy2010]

Lol you sound like you had fun, and it's funny how some women become threatened by a slim attractive woman and assume their agenda is the same! If the woman wasn't such a marriage wrecking jezzabell it would be a fine compliment lol! It does make me laugh reading your post as I can tell you had such a jolly evening, and I'm glad you did as now you've got to your target you absolutely can!! Bet the couple if pounds will go away as quickly as they came, which is the beauty if where you are now... No huge journey just a couple of good days and you're back to where you were. I cannot wait to be in that position!

Your sons roast lamb may bf a temptation too far for me though!!!

Xxx

 

[Lynn_]

Actually her response to me chatting to the guy really did boost my confidence about the way I look now. They are both in their 30's so if she felt threatented by a saggy 55 year old, I dont look as bad as I think I do lol.

Weight is down a lb this morning, so the weekends damage is dissapearing. I hope I can shift that other lb by the weekend as we are going to Isle of Wight to see Dicky (Cliffs father) and then in the evening we are going out for Indian (again!) with Cliffs 2 sisters and their hubbys. Staying at one of the sisters Saturday night so we can have a drink - ooo im getting well into this alchohol lark now lol. Also, got the other works Xmas party Thursday as well, almost forgot about that.

Im feeling pretty grotty today, got really bad sore throat, so I havnt gone to work, but its starting to subside now. I have a driving course to attend tomorrow. A couple months ago I was sent a questionaire through work listing about 40 questions on my driving habits. The only 2 questions I failed on was my age! and the number of miles I drive! So the other 38 questions where a complete waste of time lol as I was gonna fail anyway on things I have no control over. The only accidents Ive had in 12 years doing this job was once when some idiot was driving too fast and too close behind me and ploughed into the back of me, and another time when someone veered over the central line into the side of me. I have picked up a few speeding points in that time though lol, so maybe they can teach me how to ease my foot off the accelerator.

Rob was away all last week staying with his brother Richard in Thatcham as his van died. He bought a car this weekend so is home again, I missed him all last week, but i didnt miss the mess he leaves around the house! especially the kitchen! I had to fill the dishwasher twice to clear up after his roast dinner on Sunday. I know I should have made him do it, but it would still be sitting there.

Right, Im going back to bed to watch some Come DIne with Me, I love that program.

 

[kas getting slimmer]

Your doing so well Lynn and have so many nice things planned. Your life sounds full of fun. Enjoy, you sooooooooo deserve to and i think she must have felt threatened you. Your gorgeous and certainly don't look 55

 

[Aline]

Hello Lynn, you're having really funny days I also had (and will have) some Christmas dinners, fortunatelly I've been maintaining so far.

I see you love Indian food and I totally understand why, hehe, and I belive that have that special dinner once a week won't hurt

Hope your throat is better, have a nice week lynn

xx

 

[Lynn_]

Just a quickie, WI today im still 11.4. I did drop to 11.2 midweek but Thursdays Xmas party put paid to that lol, although it was probably as much to do with the alchohol. It was a nice evening but there were some moments that were not so great. Ill update later. But right now we are going to the ISle of Wight and its snowign heavily, so not sure if we will make it or not. Wish me luck!

 

[Healthy2010]

Hope your journey has gone ok, the weather is so bad in the south, my brother is stuck in london and had to abandon his car and find a hotel! Really hope you avoid any disruptions.

Well done on maintaining, youre just doing brilliantly and every week you give me hope that it can be done!

Have a lovely evening xxx

 

[elm]

Well done, love. Enjoyed reading this.

 

[Lynn_]

Well we got to the Isle of Wight and back without incident. Had a very nice weekend with hubbys family and went out for Indian meal Saturday night, then back to sister in laws for fruit salad and cheese and biscuits. I did have a little, but was pretty full from the Indian. Also, drank quite a lot of wine again and was a bit stupid drunk.

I was determined to get to work today, as tomorrow is a write up day at home and if i couldnt make it today I would have had to go out tomorrow. Then im finished until after the New Year! Had to go to Prices Risborough, which is just north of High Wycombe. It was -9 when I left the house and the roads were pretty bad, but got really awful after High Wycombe. Then I arrived at the wrong address, got my car stuck in snow and had to walk to the clients about half a mile away. I dont do walking at the best of times, and especially when im slipping and sliding on ice! But the client kindly came back with me and pushed my car out of the snow. Just managed to get home, but I did a detour on the way home and went shopping, got a half price 6ft white christmas tree, decorations and lights. So when Rob gets home later we can tackle the front room and put the decorations up! Ill take a pic and post it when its done.

Despite all the food recently im still 11.4! really pleased about that

I discovered that the little single portion xmas puddings are only about 320 calories and i would only eat half a one anyway, so i bought myself a selection. I love xmas pudding! In fact I love Xmas! Am getting really excited about it now Most of my present and food shopping is done, just have to get the turkey and we are all set to go.

Thursdays Xmas party was a bit mixed, I havnt seen the guys at the Bristol office for months and a lot of people didnt even recognise me until I spoke to them. It was shock all round and I hated it. Then in the taxi going from the restaurant to the cocktail bar there were people making jokes about another auditor (not present) who is almost as overweight as I was. That was pretty uncomfortable as no doubt they would have said the same things about me not so long ago.

I made some wonderful soup last week, It was a Jamie Oliver recipe, chorizo chickpea and spinach and was absolutely deicious. We finished up the last of it last night so I may make another batch later, it will feed me for the rest of this week anyway.

Cliff went off to Wales today, I was kinda hoping the weather would be too bad for him to go, but he got there ok, but now its snowing heavily there. I just hope he can get back home again on Thursday.

 

[Lynn_]

There isnt one bit of me that doesnt ache or feel ill today, its paracetamol all round at the minute. My sore throat from last week has developed into a full blown chesty cough that wont go away, so I have pulled all the muscles in my ribs and stomach from coughing all night. And yesterday I fell over in the snow, banging my back and legs and pulling the muscles in arms as I tried to stop my self from falling. Im gonna have the biggest bruise on my ass im sure lol, theres no fat there to pad it anymore haha.

Its midday and Rob hasnt got up yet so I assume he isnt going to work today. I asked him to come home last night to help me with the decorations, but he stayed out late playing snooker and I went to bed at 8pm anyway cos i felt so ill. So im just waiting for him to make an appearance so that we can get started. It will do my aches and pains good to get moving around a bit anyway.

I didnt get round to making my soup yesterday so I guess i could get started on that while I wait for him to appear, but I didnt get up till gone 10.30am anyway. Ive only just had breakfast and I think the dose of paras is starting to kick in. Better get moving I guess.

Ohhh was 11.1 on the scales this morning! that bodes well for keeping my weight down over christmas, even if i do gain a few pounds which I could do with anyway.

 

[Healthy2010]

Oh Lynn hope you're feeling a bit better, so hope you get rid of the cough before Xmas! Nobody should be poorly over Xmas it's just too unfair.

Hope you and your son have got your tree and the decs up, nice to do something like that together. Especially when your poorly, good not to have to do it on your own.

Massive well done on the WI , I can actually see you getting into the 10s!!! Your metabolism had obviously come back strong , it's just brilliant , you must be over the moon.

Sounds like the Xmas party was a bit yin vs yang.. Couldn't have been nice hearing people mocking someone who is overweight. It's really cruel of them and makes you realise some people will look for any reason to be unkind. Glad people noticed how fabulous you loom, but completely get the feeling of. 'that's enough now ' !!!! Next Xmas party they will be used to it and the new you will be normal you ... Iykwim ...

Take care and get plenty of rest xxxx

 

[Healthy2010]

Hope youre feeling a bit better Lynn, was thinking about you today as I saw one if my neighbours and they said they had pulled their ribs coughing... They seemed to be in so much pain... Hope you're not that bad hun...

Sending you a big get well hug xxx

 

[Lynn_]

Thanks Healthy, Im not sure if im feeling better or not yet. I have a few hours where I feel ok then it all gets too much again and I have to go back to bed. Had docs appointment this morning anyway for diabetic check up, so that was fortunate. She has loaded me up again with antibiotics and steroids, so I should be good to go by Xmas day with any luck. Ribs were horribly painful the first day but not so bad now. I wonder if coughing counts as excecise lol, it must do somthing for tightening up those muscles.

My bloods are now perfectly normal! My cholestrol is low and my blood pressure which was never high anyway, has also come down. And she said I wasnt to lose anymore weight lol. We talked about the byetta, i have such mixed feelings about it, but im gonna give it another 3 months. I think 3 months more will be make or break with it anyway for lots of reasons. Doc said she hoped I could keep going with it for another year, but im not sure I can. We will see. One thing we did both agree on was that I need to eat more. I told her it was the weirdest conversation Ive ever had, discussing how I can eat more when for nearly 40 years Ive been seriously overweight.

My weight is now 11st exactly, I weighed the same on the docs scales as I did on my own, albeit i was dressed when i got on the docs scales. Ive started to get used to my horrible saggy skin now, Im not so scared of it. Im at 11st now, I might as well make it the target weight now ive seen how much damage has been done. I cant change what happened to my skin which is as much to do with my age as it is with the weight loss anyway. I think i might aim to set my lower weight at 10.10 and upper weight at 11st. But Ive got to get christmas and new year out the way first before I think about it too much.

 

[Healthy2010]

Lynn, so sorry you're still not better, good that the doc has loaded you up and steroids particularly should work really fast! You have to be well for Xmas, especially if your son is going to cook something tempting?!

Fantastic news about your check up and all of your blood levels etc, what an amazing Xmas present you've given yourself !! I wouldn't worry about your skin, I bet it will improve massively over the next 6 months as it needs time to adjust. Your weight now is brilliant and must be a constant source of joy, you really do inspire confidence in us lesser morals that haven't achieved the holy Grail and that there is a way to maintain after losing a lot of weight..

What are your plans for Xmas and new year? How long do you have off work, hope it's plenty of time for you to relax and recover ...

Hope you have a wonderful Xmas, whatever you do and you and your loved ones have a happy and healthy new year.

Xxxx