Who are you dieting for?
- Thread starter KD
- Start date
, very honest answer there That's the thing isn't it. Doesn't matter if it makes you feel bad...shortness of breath, difficulty getting around, reduced lifespan, sweaty under the boobs etc etc etc
What most people really want is for others to think they look nice. And they do all this hard work mainly for that reason.
It's not enough. It may get you down to target. You might even stay at target by constantly eating too much then panicking and pulling back, but until people chose to want to do it totally for themselves then it's could be difficult in the very long term.
I used to think that if I loved myself or had high self esteem, I was basically saying that I looked as good as the next person, but now I think that anything to do with my appearance has little to do with my self esteem. My self esteem comes from how I feel about myself. Whether I care enough to look after my health and wellbeing.
It has little to do with how others view my appearance, and if I try to slim because I think I look better that way, I'm really fooling myself and only thinking of how others will view my size.
Doesn't mean I have to go out looking like a wreck though and we all like to dress up etc, but it has little to do with self esteem.
I think I've said half of this already. Oh well
Mrs Pink
Banned
Hi Karion article here about self-esteem you might find interesting - I found it very thought-provoking.
Self-esteem - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Self-esteem - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
minilady
Gold Member
It has always definately bothered me what other people think about me and how they see me. I hated feeling that I was the fat one in my circle of friends, and always the shoulder to cry on for the lads and not the object of their desire (this isn't true today as I am now old and married) but these feelings I've harboured for many years.
Some may say, well you've lost weight to gain approval from others then, which I guess is true in one respect, but the main thing for me is by gaining approval (if those are the right words), I feel more confident in myself, and it's how I feel that matters.
There are some people who aren't as happy about my weight loss as others, and are waiting for me to pile on the pounds again.
The difference is, now I've lost weight and feel confident, healthy and happy. I don't really care what they think
So to begin with maybe it was a bit of both, but now I've done it, it's made me realise that what other people think isn't worth worrying about. Peoples reactions are still positive and negative towards me, just as they were when I was fat.
Tracey
x
) but these feelings I've harboured for many years.Some may say, well you've lost weight to gain approval from others then, which I guess is true in one respect, but the main thing for me is by gaining approval (if those are the right words), I feel more confident in myself, and it's how I feel that matters.
There are some people who aren't as happy about my weight loss as others, and are waiting for me to pile on the pounds again.
The difference is, now I've lost weight and feel confident, healthy and happy. I don't really care what they think
So to begin with maybe it was a bit of both, but now I've done it, it's made me realise that what other people think isn't worth worrying about. Peoples reactions are still positive and negative towards me, just as they were when I was fat.
Tracey
x
clairejen
Lurker
The more you think about it the more complicated it gets. I started dieting this time for my health, my doctor told me my blood pressure was up and that was the deciding moment - I was not going to take pills, I was going to lose weight and see what difference that made. But it might have been pride, maybe I couldn't face the thought that he might tell me I had to slim down and wanted to do it by myself before he got the chance.
Now it is a combination of things, I am enjoying buying and making clothes again, that was something I hated when overweight. My main hobby is dancing, I want to see my body in the mirror and think I look good (not quite there yet!), OK larger dancers can look good but it is nice to see the muscle work, see a good line. I love amateur dramatics, I don't want to be turned down for parts because I am too big. All sorts of things are better when I am slimmer.
How you view yourself is the important factor. I never thought of myself as a fat person, having been slim most of my life it was quite a shock the first time a wardrobe mistress said "you're a 14 aren't you". I am determined I will never be overweight, or even approaching it, again. I hate feeling rolls of fat on myself, hate seeing bulges in the mirror.
I'm not fooling myself that my life would be perfect if I lost more, been there and it isn't. But I feel better about myself if I think I look good, and to me part of looking good is being within a healthy weight range.
Now it is a combination of things, I am enjoying buying and making clothes again, that was something I hated when overweight. My main hobby is dancing, I want to see my body in the mirror and think I look good (not quite there yet!), OK larger dancers can look good but it is nice to see the muscle work, see a good line. I love amateur dramatics, I don't want to be turned down for parts because I am too big. All sorts of things are better when I am slimmer.
How you view yourself is the important factor. I never thought of myself as a fat person, having been slim most of my life it was quite a shock the first time a wardrobe mistress said "you're a 14 aren't you". I am determined I will never be overweight, or even approaching it, again. I hate feeling rolls of fat on myself, hate seeing bulges in the mirror.
I'm not fooling myself that my life would be perfect if I lost more, been there and it isn't. But I feel better about myself if I think I look good, and to me part of looking good is being within a healthy weight range.
rowanx2
Losing the baby fat
I began losing weight seriously because of health problems.
pre diabetic and i was having symptoms.
I scared myself thinking the next step is to lose a leg!
I might have gone over the top with that, but you know whats it like when you get looking on the net....
Also when I was cutting off my breathing with the fat on my neck - that was scary.
That was my initial motivation. If it was for approval I would have lost it sooner. Fact was my then boyfriend didnt seem to mind my size, although he's happier now i've done something about it. He can lift me up instead of me lifting him up!
anyway, after my health probs were fixed then it became about how i looked and what size clothes I could get. When I bought a pair of size 18 canvas cropped leg trousers I was over the moon!! I could get size 18 in any shop - I was normal!!
Then I thought but a 16 is better, and then ooh a 14 would be even better!! then when i managed to get a 12 on that was like wow!! because I realised how big an 18 was when I tried on my old pants, that I was so stoked about fitting in at the time, just how much difference a few sizes makes!
I would then be dragging my husband around and telling him to keep up, and it had always been the other way round. i felt strong and powerful and fit. I liked the feeling!
i don't want to ever get back how I was, and a good incentive is I KNOW i will end up a diabetic and i'll die early.
health is the main factor - looks and everything else is a bonus!
pre diabetic and i was having symptoms.
I scared myself thinking the next step is to lose a leg!
I might have gone over the top with that, but you know whats it like when you get looking on the net....
Also when I was cutting off my breathing with the fat on my neck - that was scary.
That was my initial motivation. If it was for approval I would have lost it sooner. Fact was my then boyfriend didnt seem to mind my size, although he's happier now i've done something about it. He can lift me up instead of me lifting him up!
anyway, after my health probs were fixed then it became about how i looked and what size clothes I could get. When I bought a pair of size 18 canvas cropped leg trousers I was over the moon!! I could get size 18 in any shop - I was normal!!
Then I thought but a 16 is better, and then ooh a 14 would be even better!! then when i managed to get a 12 on that was like wow!! because I realised how big an 18 was when I tried on my old pants, that I was so stoked about fitting in at the time, just how much difference a few sizes makes!
I would then be dragging my husband around and telling him to keep up, and it had always been the other way round. i felt strong and powerful and fit. I liked the feeling!
i don't want to ever get back how I was, and a good incentive is I KNOW i will end up a diabetic and i'll die early.
health is the main factor - looks and everything else is a bonus!
Flab-u-less-Flower
Silver Member
I chose this lifestyle change because heart problems run in my family and I wanted to get healthier for me because not the best heart genes are probably in my future as well. So I decided I wanted to get healthier now, not later. I think you have to do it for yourself first and foremost and if you get some vanity points out of it in the end so be it!
Cowgirl
Licks the lid of life!
I know I'm doing this for me! I feel like I owe it to myself and my life to be happy with the way I look and be healthy. There are plenty of obesity related illnesses in my family and I know I don't want them, so at 28 years of age I know Im doing the right thing for me. Sure, I've been called names for being fat throughout my life, but Im not doing it for these people to accept me as I know people like that shout out your imperfections before someone announces theirs. Everyone has insecurities about something, the spiteful just plague others with their insecurities to shield the world from seeing their own.
Georgiestar
Silver Member
I started dieting to look good and maybe for others as well, I think to myself most people who are 20 are slim! if I didnt care about the way I looked I would be heavier by now..
rainbow brite
~Starsprinkled~
I'm doing it for me - the approval of others means a lot to me, shallow though it may be, but in a roundabout way that also turns out to be for me.
I've struggled with my weight for a long time now and I've only just turned 24. I miss out on social occasions, my family and boyfriend have no pictures of me as I refuse to allow them to be taken. I hate shopping with a passion and don't even like walking around town for fear that all of the thin girls are staring at me.
Obviously I want to be healthy. That part goes without saying. But I have to admit that vanity plays a big part too. I hate being big. I hate the way I look in my clothes and lets not even think about the way I look without my clothes!
So in part I do crave the approval of others when I'm thinner as it will provide me with a much-needed boost of self-confidence and in turn make me feel better.
~Gem xx
I've struggled with my weight for a long time now and I've only just turned 24. I miss out on social occasions, my family and boyfriend have no pictures of me as I refuse to allow them to be taken. I hate shopping with a passion and don't even like walking around town for fear that all of the thin girls are staring at me.
Obviously I want to be healthy. That part goes without saying. But I have to admit that vanity plays a big part too. I hate being big. I hate the way I look in my clothes and lets not even think about the way I look without my clothes!
So in part I do crave the approval of others when I'm thinner as it will provide me with a much-needed boost of self-confidence and in turn make me feel better.
~Gem xx
gettingtogoal
Member
I am doing it mainly for me and to be able to feel good about myself and have the confidence that comes with it.
However I would be lieing if I wasn't looking for approval from others as well. We all want to look good and to think that other people think that we look good so that drives me on as well.
However I would be lieing if I wasn't looking for approval from others as well. We all want to look good and to think that other people think that we look good so that drives me on as well.
Petrina
Full Member
I'm dieting for me. I've put on weight in the last two years and I just don't feel confident and comfortable anymore. I felt so much better when I was smaller. I was confident and happy with myself. Being 5'1 and a half as soon as you put any weight on you see it lol. So I have 23lbs to go and i'll be happy.
phishfood
Full Member
I have found everyone's posting in here really interesting - am glad I am able to read them. Personally I am dieting for myself.
I want to fit into nice clothes (what I term nice) and I also want to be healthy. From going to SW and sticking to the IMAGE sessions I have grown in confidence and my self perception has changed. Partly because I have let the people in the group help me and partly because me and my friend find it one big giggle.
I guess being single I don't feel like I have to do it for my partner and I don't feel like I have to slim to get one either. Friends are just that - if they care about my size then their opinion is not really worth worrying about.
I'm happy to be a 'Fat Loser' just for me!
I want to fit into nice clothes (what I term nice) and I also want to be healthy. From going to SW and sticking to the IMAGE sessions I have grown in confidence and my self perception has changed. Partly because I have let the people in the group help me and partly because me and my friend find it one big giggle.
I guess being single I don't feel like I have to do it for my partner and I don't feel like I have to slim to get one either. Friends are just that - if they care about my size then their opinion is not really worth worrying about.
I'm happy to be a 'Fat Loser' just for me!
msblonde
a new way of living!
ooh just found this thread...
well I think partly for OH as he is so lovely and its a shame he's never seen a slim attractive me, although i doubt he see's it that way!
and also i feel so darn good when i am slim, i love to see my reflection, and preen myself like a vain cat! shallow i know.
and also i want to look normal and responsible, and i think when you are big people look at you - as less of a person, because you are 'appearing' to present a look of lack of discipline, self worth, and control. they dont look beyond the weight and the appearance. human nature i guess.
the one thing i dont like, is male attention, i get so embarrassed! i guess i would feel different if i was single! lol
well I think partly for OH as he is so lovely and its a shame he's never seen a slim attractive me, although i doubt he see's it that way!
and also i feel so darn good when i am slim, i love to see my reflection, and preen myself like a vain cat! shallow i know.
and also i want to look normal and responsible, and i think when you are big people look at you - as less of a person, because you are 'appearing' to present a look of lack of discipline, self worth, and control. they dont look beyond the weight and the appearance. human nature i guess.
the one thing i dont like, is male attention, i get so embarrassed! i guess i would feel different if i was single! lol
I would say for me as I love clothes and fashion but I can't wear the fashionable clothes i'd like to as nothing is made in a size to fit me! I wanna shop in anyshop and pick what i want and have my own style and not just the plus size section. It is also for vain purposes, i have never been slim so i'd like people to look at me and think i looked nice.. and my bf to think wow! lol. Health of course.. but acceptance more if im totally honest.
Just spotted this thread. Suppose mostly for me, but theres a lot of me wanting to show all the people who have bullied me or laughed at me in the past that there is a gorgeous woman underneath all of this and to literally put 2 fingers up to them all. Lol mmmmmmm think I might have a wee bit of bitterness there. But having lost weight before and knowing the feeling of going into any shop I wanted to pick clothes......I want that back!!!! And I want to be fit, being able to walk up a hill again and not feel like I'm gonna have a heart attack at the end of it. (think the cigs will need to go too though!!)
Janey xx
Janey xx
