Who is on week 2 or thereabouts?

dont get me wrong i could go to the chinese tonight and have everything on the menu. i have been craving a kebab all week. i have had a bit of a heart to heart with partner, just admited i have always tried to feed him up cos i didnt want him to be lighter than me, he is 6ft. lol. i know i have to do this now, or admit defeat, keep getting fatter and be lucky to reach 40.
sorry if this is a bit deep, but need to share.
i hate myself this way, and when im down i eat, and eat, and eat. enjoy every mouthful then hate myself for making myself worse.
i started gaining weight cos at 16 and a size 10 my step dad would say you cant eat that your getting fat, so i hid in the loo and binged, or snuck downstairs in night and scoffed. then for the next 15yrs still blamed that. when it is me that have continued this, i used food as love for all the years i wanted a baby, now hes here i need to enjoy him, the love i feel from my son and partner is 1000 times better than a bar of my fav choc. their cuddles last longer and dont add weight.
so now i just need to love myself and realise im worth this , a can do it, and i will be happy with me, so that my family can love me as much as i love them.
sorry needed to get that out, thanks for listening,
xxxxx
 
sorry that was a very long thread xxxx
 
Good evening girls..

Hope you have all had a good day. Broxi.. In it to win it Butterflies is a good one!. Might be easier to start a new thread, and we will still have so much supportive stories to look at daily as we head on to that last pound! Had to wait for my son to get off the laptop and just watched Britains got Talent. Just so happens my friend is neighbours with some of the group, Diversity.. small world. I think Susan Boyle is fab.

I had a small blip earlier, I ate a piece of toblerone..:busted:.. i bought it for my son and was helping him with his revision and as I leant over, I ate it out of his fingers which he was about to pop in his mouth.. How sad is that! x
 
you naughty girl lol,
xxx
 
claira07 said:
dont get me wrong i could go to the chinese tonight and have everything on the menu. i have been craving a kebab all week. i have had a bit of a heart to heart with partner, just admited i have always tried to feed him up cos i didnt want him to be lighter than me, he is 6ft. lol. i know i have to do this now, or admit defeat, keep getting fatter and be lucky to reach 40.
sorry if this is a bit deep, but need to share.
i hate myself this way, and when im down i eat, and eat, and eat. enjoy every mouthful then hate myself for making myself worse.
i started gaining weight cos at 16 and a size 10 my step dad would say you cant eat that your getting fat, so i hid in the loo and binged, or snuck downstairs in night and scoffed. then for the next 15yrs still blamed that. when it is me that have continued this, i used food as love for all the years i wanted a baby, now hes here i need to enjoy him, the love i feel from my son and partner is 1000 times better than a bar of my fav choc. their cuddles last longer and dont add weight.
so now i just need to love myself and realise im worth this , a can do it, and i will be happy with me, so that my family can love me as much as i love them.
sorry needed to get that out, thanks for listening,
xxxxx
Click to expand...

Claira.. honey, you are on week 2, I got cravings sooo bad last week. Its normal. You are worth this fight, dieting isn't easy and this diet is hard to start with.. But just think as your baby gets older, you will be able to play with him in the park and have the energy to do it.. and thats worth every bit of pain, frustration, boredom and emotion that we go through. You'll be fine and we are all hear to listen to each other. xx
 
thanks for support,
im off to gym tomorrow , not going to mad as ive not been for 10 days, but will enjoy it. its my timeout. xxx
 
claira07 said:
thanks for support,
im off to gym tomorrow , not going to mad as ive not been for 10 days, but will enjoy it. its my timeout. xxx
Click to expand...

Claira.. You are welcome. I like the gym, its theraputic i feel.. even though we can't do much cardio work, i'll do some walking on the treadmill for 3o mins, and some machine work, especially for my arms and thighs, lol.. Have thought about stepping up a gear to 810 cals,so that I can do some classes again.. but need to chew that one over for a while yet. x
 
Hi Nicky, your poor wee boy- his mother stealing his chocolate from him! Myson used to scream if I did that and tell everyone I was stealing his food.
Hey Claira, it's great you shared. We've all our own reasons for being fat and for wanting to be slim. Food is my main enjoyment and life seems very empty without it. Yet that is so sad cos I've a great life too. I've a darling sexy 12 years younger than me husband, a stunning 17 year old son, a great fulfilling job, loads of things I love to do and interests but sadly, it all seems dead and empty without food. I stopped drinking years ago (I didn;t have a drink problem but I just didn't like how it made me act as I wasn't very good on the moderation thing. I also stopped smoking years ago and I was very addicted to that . On both occasions I had to totally change my life style to suit my life change. The smoking felt like this - empty but it went away and I couldn't bear to smoke again. I'm hoping after a while my food obsession will go too.
 
i wish you loads of luck, my will power is rubbish but you guys make me feel sooo strong, i love it here, xxx
 
I love it too Claira, I'm never off. My life is a bit on hold now though till I get this weight off. But that's what I was thinking about stopping smoking. I avoided smokers like the plague at first and I had to stop going out with my friends who smoked for quite a while. This will be the same for me. I can't watch ppl eat just now or go where food is. But it will be so worth it. I'm hoping in June to start feeling a lot slimmer and more confident. What about you?
 
I can't even really think about food as it depresses me!
 
lol.. Broxi, my son is 16 and he had some more! I have 2 daughters too, aged 20 and 19 and a BF I'm about to move in with in 5 weeks. Like you, my life is good and I used to live for food, chineese used to be my twice a week treat. Heck, that used to cost me too as well as all the cals. Used to WI at WW or SW and then treat myself after with a chineese! Madness..

Claira.. its a good site and this thread is buzzing.. its sooo the place to be right now with the CD. xx
 
haha, I imagined a wee toddler holding onto his chocolate bar!
Oh Chinese is my very favourite! Stop it. Can't bear it! Choc Mint Shake is my very favourite! mind over matter!
 
bless, when i stopped smoking i loved the smell and stayed around smokers, i went from 60 a day. although i do still enjoy one occasionally, if im drinking lots out with friends, although that rarely happens. so im the same with food loving the smell of cooking.
i really want to be lighter by my birthday in august which will be week 13 so looking forward to a little chicken or tofu.
how long are you planning to do 100% ss before going ss+ or 810.
x
 
Me too at the moment, but needs must when you're cooking for the kids.

Change the subject, lol..I have had some feedback from the thread i posted re periods.. its really good, she's a CDC and it makes sense.. plus other ppl have gone through the same. I'm a little put out though, that my CDC said it can't possibly be anythin to do with the diet. Just some honesty would have been nice, or "ill get back to you". I will carry on with it as it's not that bad and its only really light anyway. x
 
You must be excited about moving in with your BF. A new life with a new you! Excellent!
Claira when is your next wi? and you Nicky? Mine's on Tuesday. Do you not think that time moves really slowly on this diet? I feel like I'e been on it for weeks instead of under 2.
 
i used to eat chinese at least twice a week, pizza once, kebab once, chiquitos, miss millies curry, you name it, or go shopping and buy a whole choc cheese cake WITH cream and eat the lot. i actually feel quite disgusted at myself right now, what a bloater. we should be rich if i stop eating lol.... if only
xxxx
 
My period came 2 weeks early, yesterday but it is so light.

I want to stay SS as long as I can. I do have a coffee or tea every day (only 1) and I take a little skimmed milk but I couldn't give up my caffeine addiction as well. I'll be able to start my own version of The Priory by the time I finish all this!
 
Broxi.. mine is on Thursday and yes, time moves sooo slow! I'm a little excited now, but also apprehensive, as lived on my own as a single mum for 15 yrs. It's going to take some getting used to, thats for sure. He realises that i need my independance though and respects that.. So it should work out, even though its a risk, its a risk worth doing. Went out bed shopping on Friday (his money, lol). He asked me to choose and then yesterday asked me to help buy some conservatory furniture, so met up in Habitat, again.. asked me to choose. Its lovely, never had that before! x
 
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