Confessions of an Indecisive Dieter - Restarting with no cheating!

[biggusburdus]

I feel really embarrassed but I cheated, AGAIN! I can't give up though! I need to stop listening to my OH and just get on with it. Why do I sabotage myself? I felt absolutely fine with the diet and I was doing great. I'm not perfect though and this is all a learning process. This will be the second time I'll get straight back onthe diet after a cheat, before s&s I would have completely given up and gone on a 2-4 week binge. Not happening this time! No more cheating either :sigh:

Stay strong! Only a blip, learn why and move on! Back on the wagon with a smile cos you can do this!!

Sent from my iPad using MiniMins

 

[ilikepencils]

Thank you! Just what I needed to hear xx

 

[ilikepencils]

So I've been thinking about why I cheated and it's definitely to do with stress! I'm such a worrier and this weekend was full of it. I nearly kicked OH out for being a total ****! We argued loads :/. And my sister thought her waters had broke, but the baby wasn't engaged and the midwife wanted her to go in for a c-section. I'm already so worried about her because she's so young and I think that just tipped me over the edge diet wise. It's no excuse though, I need to find another distraction for when I'm stressed out! I've not gained any weight though, thank god!

 

[XxAbbiexX23]

You'll be ok hun, you'll figure it out, in the mean time, have a hug! *hug* You can do it! xx

 

[biggusburdus]

So I've been thinking about why I cheated and it's definitely to do with stress! I'm such a worrier and this weekend was full of it. I nearly kicked OH out for being a total ****! We argued loads :/. And my sister thought her waters had broke, but the baby wasn't engaged and the midwife wanted her to go in for a c-section. I'm already so worried about her because she's so young and I think that just tipped me over the edge diet wise. It's no excuse though, I need to find another distraction for when I'm stressed out! I've not gained any weight though, thank god!

It doesn't matter when you try to diet life throws you curve balls, stay strong and just remember its not for always!

Sent from my iPad using MiniMins

 

[ilikepencils]

Thanks both! xx

So I'm back in the zone! Although I've not eaten anything yet. I've had a busy day and when I got back I decided to have a spring clean. I always go a bit ott with the bleach and end up with a headache! As I've not had any packs yet I thought about doing the "chicken nuggets" from the picture thread - hope it doesn't go wrong! I might post a pic of the outcome.

 

[RebekahR]

Oooo yes show us if you do them hun

Have a good evening xxx (hope your headaches gone) x

 

[ilikepencils]

I cocked that up! Haha oh dear I forgot the egg too, but it was still nice (ish) I put a few spices in with it and used half a porridge pack - I'll put a pic up but it looks pretty gross!

So today I could only manage a spinach, cucumber and chicken salad with a little salad light caesar dressing spray coated with half a porridge pack and spices. I'm full and ready for bed! I go from one extreme to another.

Here's the pic .. Don't laugh SO burnt!

 

[ilikepencils]

These were from my first week. The first one is my 2nd attempt at tofu, I had a smaller amount so I could add cottage cheese, but I didn't have my kitchen scales so they were guesstimates. Then there's the chicken coated in Italian herb & mushroom pasta & leeks. They don't look great but I liked them!

 

[TIGGERTOES]

Your food looks lovely. I am going to start experimenting to. I love that you can add fish and chicken to this diet. That alone makes it so worth it. I've read your diary and all I can say is my OH does those food Jedi mind tricks with me to. But I've started reminding him that he is part of the reason that I am so big and unhappy with my life now.. All that feeding he does.. They don't get it..

Great loss in your first week. That is really something to be proud of!

Lots of luck for the week ahead.

TT x

 

[ilikepencils]

Thanks TT. I agree, the protein and veg option make this diet so much easier! How does your OH react to that? Mine would throw a complete hissy fit! I've gained 3 stone since being with him though, and although I wasn't at a great weight when we met, I was so much more comfortable & I can't wait to get back there. On the subject of OH - he was just a minute ago trying to tempt me with Ben & Jerry's because it's on offer

I've not had anything to eat yet, can't have another repeat of yesterday as I was way under.

Feeling really motivated again. I'm determined not to cheat on this diet again, ever!

 

[TIGGERTOES]

You stick with that sister! We will conquer our food demons!

My OH doesn't really understand anything to do with a diet. He likens everything to the diets his mum use to do a million years ago. It's funny. I think he feels pity for my little plates of food I now have.

I was under 11 stone when we met. A comfy size 10. And 5 years later I'm an 18 worst part is he openly admits that he likes me to be "curvy". If only that was where it actually stopped. I have gone way past curves now. I know I shouldn't blame him but I do in part because he's made it ok for me to pig out and become so fat. That whole "I love you just the way you are" crap has been my greatest pitfall.

I've recently started listening to some weight loss hypnotherapy cd's and I really think they've helped a lot. My favourite one is Marissa Peer " you can be thin". I recommend it to anyone that has a eating problem.

Anyhow, have a great evening. I'm off to get ready for work.

TT x

 

[ilikepencils]

I think it's normal to blame others sometimes. As long as we realise we're the ones responsible for it really. I gained the most when I was with my ex. I met him as a size 8 and 5 years later when I ended things with him I was a size 16, then I got down to a 14 and when I met my fiance, I went up to an all time high of 18! It's crazy what we do to ourselves :/

That reminds me, I have some weight loss hypnotherapy apps on my phone I've not listened to I'll have a look for the Marissa Peer one.

 

[ilikepencils]

Today has been hard, but not for the usual reasons! I pretty much had to force most of the food down. I wasn't sure if I should eat less because I wasn't hungry, or force it down. Soo weird & not like me at all.

Bit annoyed because my future MIL is making a rare visit this week and my vax pet hoover, which I love! broke today, luckily I have a year warranty, but I'll have to pay to send it back and wait for them to repair or send a new one out, I've only had it 2 months! Pfft. Bit annoyed I have to pay for postage.

/rant

Other news, my mums moving this week, which means a lot of my size 8's will be returning from the attic. I'm not sure if I should throw them out or keep them just for the satisfaction of fitting back into them one day!I doubt I'd ever wear them again, they're old

Nighty night xx

 

[ilikepencils]

Lol I meant to say I'm annoyed because I can't hoover ready for when she visits, not because she's visiting..

Why am I still awake, zzz

 

[TayvionSafinn]

Hi ya ilikepencils

How are you doing so far?
Have read that you lost a stone in 9days thats fab well done you.
So what day are you on now?
We can both support each other as you have prob seen my diary i've had quite a few blips, and it made me ill so i have restarted and ready to stick at it 100%. I can seen you have done well keep up the good work.

 

[RebekahR]

Hang in there hun, it can be hard to eat once keto hits. I find the shakes pretty easy going. Meals ate harder work so filling!!

Have a good day xxx

 

[TIGGERTOES]

I'm feeling really full myself. Buts it's more like my mouth doesn't want to eat instead of actually being hungry. I'm going to have to force the food down myself tonight. Shakes definitely seem the easiest option for that. Ice cold Chocolate... Hmmmmmm!

If a size 8 is what you want to be you should keep your small clothes. Pick something favoured out and hang that on your dresser as a motivational tool. Imagine yourself wearing that again and feeling amazing.

I've recently charity shopped a whole wardrobe full of my old small clothes that I've been clinging onto for dear life but I kept a few items that I'd love to get back into again. it's ridiculous the mountain of clothes I've accumulated since I've been big. I hardly even wear 20% of my clothes... I just don't feel confident enough. I'm think of altering what I can myself once the padding is gone.

Haha I laughed at your post about your MIL. That's funny. I have to get the pet vac out every time because my FIL is a bit of a hypochondriac and is convinced my cat is killing him by suffocation. They only come around ours once in a blue moon. ( There's a good reason I got my cat )

I'm off to start preparing for another looong nightshift. Last one thank God!!

Have those shakes!!

TTFN!

TT x

 

[frumpymum]

Wow great first week loss!! After reading your diary i feel very blessed to be man free, i tried lipotrim when i was living with my husband last year and it felt like he made it his mission to break me, i'll show him lol!

 

[Want2BeSlim]

I must admit, I have had a couple of days since starting where I haven't eaten all my packs/food when I should have... oops. It was either a case of physically not being able to (not hungry and the thought of food made me gag) or I was so busy and didn't have any packs on my while I wasn't at home! naughty eh lol. Yesterday I had a shake, some cabbage (not together) and then I was full but still needed to have two more packs and a protein meal... I ended up forcing the chilli down and the tuna, not good and it wasn't easy, the shake wasn't so bad though.

Sounds like you're doing really well though great loss in your first week too! x