Daisy's food log...

[daisydoll]

hi there
i have been messed about a bit meetings wise - some of it because i have been away and some because the LLC was ill.
i should go on a saturday, but missed last week as i was away and will miss the next 3 weeks too as i am away

i am going to ring her tomorrow and see if there is another one i can go to for 4 weeks or i might lose the plot.

i feel like i am massive again - which i'm not, but i could be if i carry on like this....

i don't know why i'm doing it - foundation was sooo good and i feel so good being this size, i can't understand why i would do this to myself.....

really fed up

x

 

[Mel P]

Hi Daisy

Sorry to hear you are struggling. You have done so well (don't forget the weight you have still lost during RTM) and you are a real inspiration.

I'm only just starting my RTM journey so no words of advice.

Good luck and I'm sure you will soon get yourself back on track

Mel

 

[thin_inside]

i am going to ring her tomorrow and see if there is another one i can go to for 4 weeks or i might lose the plot.

Sounds like it would really help to go back to hear a bit of the CBT/TA stuff and put your head back into the place it was in Foundation and Developers. Is there another LLC in your area who might also have alternative class times? Sometimes a change of personality helps too.

i feel like i am massive again - which i'm not, but i could be if i carry on like this....

Daisy - You have done brilliantly so far, and everyone has said that RTM is the toughest part. Don't be too hard on yourself. Sit down and refocus on your aims and reasons for wanting to maintain your weight as it is now. Then set out the steps you need to follow to achieve this. One day at a time. We're here for you! xx

 

[Anders]

Hang on in there! Its useful to have someone to pave the way for me as I'm in week 2 of RTM...

 

[daisydoll]

better day today - again great in the day, its evenings i'm really struggling with.

my rebellious child is really playing up - and winning at the moment.
am re reading some of the stuff i read in foundation which is helping...

i will do this!
am allowed rice/pasta etc tomorrow but am going to keep off it til i can get myself sorted, i want to get over this half way blip

daisy x

 

[brumchick]

Sorry to hear things are a bit tough at the moment Daisy.You seem to know what to do tho'- keep reading...I do and it does help, especially looking back at some of the exercises I did in foundation about why I wanted to do this in the first place- remembering that pretty scared but determined person keeps me going. Our rebellious child will always try to undermine us- thats her job!!But as adults we can be the ones in control- think hard about "punishing" her by not having the trigger foods you are allowed- might she rebel even more? But its your call- you are doing so brilliantly- not many finish foundation and do RTM- you are one of the LL shining stars

 

[Minerva]

Hey Daisy - I think you're doing really well. Never give up!
It takes time to actually put what we have learnt into practice - and to make it into a habit! I know it took me over 6 months to implement all the CBT and what-not, and I'm STILL learning and STILL struggling (on occasion) even now!
So, never be down heartened. Yes, the rebellious child is winning a bit at the moment because your body has come out of 'starvation' mode and is desperate - that's why it's pointing you towards the highly sugary foods (I know the cake feeling, I was just there last week! ), however, as I go on to describe in my log in a few; this small period of time is nothing to judge your further actions by. You are on the right road, so what if you stumble a few times? A few rough patches on a beautiful path should never make you turn back.

x

 

[daisydoll]

hi
lightbulb moment! just read minervas post about glycogen and ping! i feel much more positive!!!

had a good day today food wise
LL porridge & frozen fruit
banana
apple
grapes
goji berries and almonds snack whilst clothes shopping (not really allowed yet, but so good for me so stuff it!)
cranberry bar

1 egg omlette cut into strips 'fried' with soya sauce & freshly sprouted beans mixed in with salmon - absolutely gorgeous and only took about 5 mins to make!

greek yoghurt

yum

 

[daisydoll]

hi
today is good so far....

breakfast LL porridge and frozen fruit
soya yogurt

banana
prunes

veg soup at the pub

greek 0% yogurt
LL cranberry bar

dinner:
100g sweet potato dry roasted for 10 mins
added in 20g macadamia nuts and 2 sundried tomatoes roasted for another 10 mins
50g salmon and 30g king prawns mixed infor 2 mins
served on raw spinach drizzled with dressing made with white wine vinegar, mustard and half a teaspoon of hemp oil(not allowed yet!)

OMG - how delicious was that!!!!
the macademia nuts are sooooo lovely and crunchy - quite high in fat, but still within daily calorie limit

i have just re-read marisa peers book and this week am trying to follow one of her principles - the warrior shopping she does with kids..

for those who haven't read it..... she goes to the supermarket with kids and they have to pretend they are warriors hunting/gathering food

so you have to eat things that look like they would in the wild ie fruit, veg, seeds, eggs, fish and avoid anything that doesn't ie pasta, bread and anything else that is processed

will see if it works for me, well as much as possible while still on the LL packs.

I'm off to bristol tomorrow for my 1st wedding anniversary so think it might go out of the window a bit but i will try my best

daisy x

 

[Minerva]

Just noticed something....

I'm off to bristol tomorrow for my 1st wedding anniversary so think it might go out of the window a bit but i will try my best

daisy x

You are going in with a mindset of failure - before even giving yourself a chance! The way you wrote it, just portrayed an image of someone who isn't control. Why?


Have a think about it.

 

[daisydoll]

oh you are right...nothing gets past you does it, lol!

quick slap on the wrist for me - thanks though, you are right.

it won't go out the window at all - just packed a bag with fruit and stuff. I will make the right choices!

daisy x

 

[daisydoll]

Had a fab time in bristol
the hotel was lovely - boutique style, with a tv in the bathroom tiles!

did really well with food yesterday
kept on plan all day - found a sea food resturant at night and stuck more or less to plan. had 2 peices of 'illegal' melba toast and a bit of eton mess, but everything else was allowed.

had some alcohol - prob a bit too much, but not stressing

im getting weighed tomorrow nite. its been over 2 weeks since last weigh in and i think i will have gained 4 or 5lbs.

some of this is to do with the fact i have not been 100% on plan, but some is due to the fact i have been eating lentils/beans/sweet potatoes etc for a couple of weeks which have meant my calories have gone up.

i expect/hope to be the same at the end of RTM as i was at the start -

i think i was 8.13 - i got down to 8.6 so i've got 7lbs to 'play' with.

i just hope i don't get too depressed with a gain, as even tho i know it will happen it might still seem 'bad'

daisy x

 

[daisydoll]

so i have put on 3lb over 17 days.

not surprised really as i had weighed myself at home.

so if the 3,500 to put on 1lb of fat is right i have over eaten by 10,500 calories over the 17 days

hmmm, don't think that is the case as i have been logging everything and although i have gone over my approx 1250 a day its nowhere near that much and i have not eaten over 1500 daily (apart from 1 occasion when it was nearly 2000)

so....
is it my glycogen now back on? if so thats fine
or
am i going to have to eat less than 1250 cals a day to stay at this weight - which is a bit worrying

Ive not been doing week 8 properly as i wanted to get back on the straight and narrow before introducing trigger foods

i have kicked my go-ahead habit which is good!

i have had a small jacket potato, and some veggie sushi so had rice but not tried pasta yet.

i'm a bit confused about the triggers - is it to see if they 'upset' your stomach or is it to see if if it makes you crave/pig out on it?

my fav food previously was pasta and i'm a bit nervous about trying it. Ive decided i'm going to eat wheat free pasta anyway from now on (but obviously at friends or a meal out it will prob have to be normal pasta - mind you i may have trained myself to choose something else)

things i'm pleased with recently ...
i ate out 3 times last week at lunch as it was the last week of term and each time i chose soup - which i have never, ever done before! i saw soup as a 'diet' food and would use the excuse of lunch out to 'treat' myself

on saturday we chose to eat at a fish restaurant - again something i would never have done before, i would have chosen pasta, risotto or something 'satisfying' then felt uncomfy

i have started listening to my marisa peer cd and certain things are getting into my subconcious i think.

'my stomach is the size of my fist' - is working portion control wise

viewing cereal as 'glue' is making me think about the type of food i used to eat and what i'm eating/going to eat in the future

'i am enough' mantra is beginning to work when i'm tempted to pick when not hungry - tho i'm still argueing with my rebellious child on that one!

daisy x

edited to add that although i have cracked the 'go ahead' habit my LLC gave me a whole box of the chocolate and raisin maintenence bars - gorgeous!!!!!! (they run out of date at end of month, but will be fine for a while after) am only have one a day tho and they are really satisfying my choc and cereal bar cravings!

 

[Anders]

Hi Daisy,
Its likely that the weight gain is glycogen rather than fat - I guess it is expected that you'll put back on the glycogen you lost in the first week of LL. I think the 'Trigger Week' is to add back those foods that are know to cause cravings and "pig outs". I know that I'm going to have to avoid bread/white rice/pizza/pastry like the plague if I want to keep the weight off.

Mind you now that I'm on RTM I find myself enjoying things like natural cottage cheese/fromage frais/yoghurt that I never really liked before - am also eating more salad than I have ever eaten before and really enjoying it

I'm looking forward to being able to eat cooked vegetables again next week (Week 4)

 

[Sean(JSF)]

Hi Daisy,
Its likely that the weight gain is glycogen rather than fat - I guess it is expected that you'll put back on the glycogen you lost in the first week of LL. I think the 'Trigger Week' is to add back those foods that are know to cause cravings and "pig outs".

Precisely.

Weight gain will be glycogen and should not worry you (although I KNOW that's easier said than done).

I'd not try & avoid food groups as long-term that will simply not be possible. It is a challenge and we all fall along the way (I guess something we have to be aware of for life), but challenges make us all stronger.

Keep up the good work

 

[Mel P]

Hi Daisy,

Not that I know a huge amount, but I'd have to agree with Anders and Sean on this one that it is probably your glycogen store building up again.

As I understand it, the trigger weeks are to see if they set you off onto your old habits again.

I think your doing really well, pushing the boundries here and there but on the whole keeping things in perspective.

This RTM lark definitely isn't easy though!

Good luck with your final 4 weeks of RTM

Mel

 

[Minerva]

You're doing much better there Daisy! Seems after the initial over-excitement you are taking on the more mature role, listening to your adult ego state rather than the rebellious child! Brilliant work; you sound a little bit more at ease with it all.
I am not going to lie, it's going to be difficult... But if you start building up your "adult" state now, it will pay off in the long term. Perhaps start working on an 80/20 sort of philosophy if it's helpful. That will give you more defining week structures and boundaries; at least for now, while you're getting back on your feet. :hug99: That is to say, I felt very much like you did after abstinence. RTM does almost feel like taking a plunge in the deep end, and it's very hard to see how to make things work.

The weight gain? Just rememeber my post on my holiday gain - all you will have gained is glycogen. For me it was about 7lbs because it came on and off extremely quickly. So don't panic. Panicking only makes things worse, so deep breaths Daisy!

Trigger weeks... as the lovely people above me said: things that make you eat too much. Such as, some people can't stop at just one piece of cheese, they need the whole platter, or can't stop at just one slice of bread, they want to eat the entire loaf.
For me : my trigger is definitely sugar. While I prefer savoury foods, sugar is a lot harder to stop eating; so I just watch my intake of those and learned to take preference to artificially sweetened things and diabetic sweets, because they're much less likely to give me that 'binge' craving for more.
So watch your triggers and perhaps start writing down what made you want to go back to the fridge/cupboard/kitchen for more! And then we'll have a go at working out how to live WITH those foods rather than living in fear... after all... no one can avoid something forever. Developing a healthy relationship with everything is a better step forward!


ok.. I'm rambling again... I'm avoiding playing my online game character... ugh!

 

[daisydoll]

hi there
well i'm back from holiday - had a great time

made some good choices but also some bad ones.

start with the bad ones....
i drank 5 nights out of 7 - a couple of glasses a night - never to excess so was pleased about that

i had one mr whippy ice cream - was a really hot day, the last day and i just thought, sod it!

one night i had 3/4 of a thin crust pizza (tescos finest)

pub meal - had about 15 chips and scampi (there was no healthy option at all - i did look - no jackets, no salads, no soup)

i had a few biscuits each day

i had 4 slices of malt loaf over the week

i had 2 squares of dark chocolate each night

good choices.....

no take aways/ no meals out (except the one pub meal on the last night)

with the exceptions listed above stuck to the plan

did well over 10,000 steps each day

went for 3x 25 mins runs

Weighed myself at home and this morning i was 8.12 - so 124lbs
which is a couple of extra since last weigh in so taking time into consideration i am expecting to weigh in at about 9 stone - 126lbs tomorrow

this isn't good really as 9 is my top limit

my lowest was 8.5 i think - so i have put on around 8lb, which was my first weeks loss....

am not panicing - yet

i have one 'event' left of what has been a full on summer - since starting RTM i have been away or doing something every weekend, which has been hard.

i go to the V festival a week on saturday- and after that i will have officially finished RTM

i feel as if i haven't really been doing RTM for the past 7 weeks- what with missing meetings, the councillor being away etc and i think i may need to rethink going over some of the stuff when i have finished...

i certainly haven't been doing the trigger weeks properly, haven't tried pasta, cous cous etc yet - cereals not really, have got a bit 'lost' with eating and need to re-focus and have been reverting back to living on yoghurts today!

i am getting the excercise better tho. walking much more, starting running -going to get a pair of running shoes fitted tomorrow. went on a 10 mile bike ride today with my son - so am pleased with that side of things

anyway, am rambling a bit so will go and get my head round stuff tomorrow - am having my hair done, bliss, so will have time to myself and to think whilst in the salon!

daisy x


however

 

[Morticia]

Welcome back Daisy. Hope you had a nice week. The lack of choice does make things a bit harder, but I think you did well considering it was a holiday.

 

[Mel P]

Hi Daisy and welcome back - good to hear you had an enjoyable holiday ... that's the main thing.

You don't seem to have done too badly at all and wait to see what the official weigh-in is before panicing.

I guess the whole part of maintenance though is learning about balance so I'm sure if you are just careful with what you eat over the next couple of weeks, your weight will balance itself out (say she who's never done this before )