Everyone welcome, come on in and have a chat, anything goes....!

well he has just been looking up flights to germany.....how many places are there to stay....and he decides he wants to go to Frankfurt......and yes she lives just down the road form there......hmmmm?????????????

The only saving grace is he is on about taking Dan with him as an early birthday treat.
 
omg. how about taking YOU with him?! how can he afford a trip to germany when u r being told u cant have treats for losing weight?? and why does he need to go to germany?

he makes ur confidence crap mate and i think he ought to get a one way flight. plenty better men out there and i will ensure u meet every last one of them til u find one u like if thats how he wants to be!!

sorry im not trying to trivialise it. I just cant believe u r so laid back about this. u deserve so so so much better than that. i will be round in the morning for a coffee!!
 
Sonkie that is awful. Don't know what to say (that's a first for me!!) but Karen is saying what I'm thinking.

Don't let him treat you like this though - you are worth so much more.
 
OOOO it will cost £400 for the week in summer school, then there will be somewhere to stay and the flights.....and he moans that I buy myself £12 worth of creams etc from avon.....????????

There is this and then the mother issue too....why am I here ?
 
well im stumped!! sorry i know its not good to be negative about anyones marriage and i wouldnt ordinarily be so nasty BUT i see how he crushes ur confidence and it makes my blood boil.

i sincerely hope he wakes up and starts treating u properly...then i'll take everything back and mind my own business but in the meantime...i am truely disgusted!!! he doesnt even want u to lose weight cos he feels threatened by it!!

u have no idea how lovely u r and its cos selfish people have knocked that out of u. grrr!!!! u dont deserve this rubbish u really really dont!!!
 
Well I am gonna stick with it until after my surgery, then if his attitude to me the boys and his mum dont change he will be going. I know he has played a big part in Callums behaviour and he always winds him up more and cal dont need it.
 
good idea to concerntrate on urself and the boys in the meantime. you've got amazing and wonderful changes in ur own life to deal with. sod him! let him make an idiot of himself cos thats all he is doing and u and the boys will be fine either way.

xxxxxxxxxx
 
OMG I have just realised we have waffled....lol, sorry to all reformed pickers dont mind us, you dont have to avoid this post cos we are ranting, it all has to come out if we are to change our ways......I can now see I have not been happy in my marriage for a while and turned to food instead of facing the fact.

Oh well we will see what happens by the end of the year.
 
Aww Sonkie, just caught up with this thread, don't really know what to say. You seem very calm about things though and you're facing up to it all.

Just wanted to send you a mega hug & lots of love
:grouphugg:

Keep on trucking girl - you're doing a fab job :)
 
Well its been in front of my face for 15 yrs, we even divorced for 6 months then he said he had changed his ways, and of course it didnt last long. He is constantly texting or phoning his mum, she lives 30 second walk up road. If she wants something done he drops everything to rush up and do it, I am sick of coming second to her....she`s a nice enough woman but the way she expects him to come running all the time is so sad, but he cannot see how it affects our relationship. He has to run all ideas by her first too, it doesnt matter what I think.
He also has an anger problem, he cant talk he always shouts so this is not helping my youngest son who is becoming just like his father with anger issues and my even have adhd, but dad does not even try to calm down......

Anyway I am trying to keep the atmosphere as calm as possible for the sake of the boys but then hubby cant do it.

Right enough of this talk, hope everyone is ok, and if he is going Germany he has no way of saying I cannot come to the Bath meet up.
 
Hi Sonkie, i havn't posted on your thread before so a big hello to you :D

But girl how can you put up with that?? you must be one strong person to be so calm about it! I for one ,if i thought my OH was speaking to a woman any woman over the net in favour of me well i would have burst a blood vessell by now!! I would be sooo mad i wouldn't be held responsable for my actions. Sorry if you think im being harsh since we havn't spoken before, but im just being honest hun.

Take Care and look after yourself and the boys.
 
What is it with men hey? dont seem to be happy unless theyre finding new ways to upset us. Im having something similar with my hubby at the moment, mine is swapping text messages with a woman who supports our local football team, its been happening for a couple of years now very infrequently up until recently. He is now emptying his outbox cos he knows i check his phone since he was a bad boy years ago. I checked his bill this month and he has texted her regulary sometimes late at night, even when he was in spain painting my holiday home. We have had many conversations about her over the years and he assures me that she's just a nutter who texts everyone. Doesnt quite ring true anymore. My first thought was to blurt out what i knew but after speaking to DQ i have said nothing. She pointed out that he is deliberately trying to wind me up because he knows ill eat. As much as he says he wants me to slim, his actions say otherwise. I just wonder if thats what happening with yours, getting a bit insecure so try to make you think someone else is interested. Dont take the bait, you carry on with your diet, you say nothing. If and its a big IF he goes then sod him, youre better than that.
 
Hi Sonya,
i feel for you, my oh can be a bit of control freek, allways has to be right, allways has to have the last word & we have to know his oppinion on everything, unfortunatly so does my eldest daughter, so you can imagine the arguments sometimes. On the other hand he works hard at work & at home, he's doing me a fab loft conversion at the mo, but we do tend to lead seperate lives, occasionally meeting up.
do what you think is right for you & your kids, & do it when you are ready, look after yourself first hun
:hug99:
xx:)
 
He said to me today "are you in the 20 stone mark yet"? I said not quite, then he said " when you get into the 20`s I will have to start getting worried".....cheeky bugger he is eating junk all the time, and I know he is feeling insecure and is wanting me to eat crap again, because then he knows no one will want a fat bird and he will be safe in the knowledge I wont be walking.....though he is worried as I have not crumbled big time, especially in front of him....so he better watch it....lol
 
that should make you more determined than ever to get the weight off, if he can't cope with it THATS HIS PROBLEM NOT YOURS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
XX:)
 
You are losing the weight for yourself first and foremost, then your boys and him ............ he should be PROUD of you - not belittle your efforts ....

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhh ..... glad I don't live too near you would want to box his ears for him ... and that's me being polite by the way!!!

You do this for YOU! and show him that you can ...
 
You are losing the weight for yourself first and foremost, then your boys and him ............ he should be PROUD of you - not belittle your efforts ....

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhh ..... glad I don't live too near you would want to box his ears for him ... and that's me being polite by the way!!!

You do this for YOU! and show him that you can ...


OOOOO I intend to, thanx everyone for your support. It has made me realise why I put all my weight on in the first place.
 
We're with you all the way Sonkie, even if it is in Cyberspace
xx

p.s I'm right behind Bev with the boxing gloves on standby!
 
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