Lauren's diary - a new year, & a new beginnings!

Discussion in 'Calorie Counting - Diaries' started by laurenmay, 1 January 2013.

  1. laurenmay

    laurenmay Well-Known Member

    Good morning everyone! & happy new year :)

    Well today is my fresh start, the day where I kick myself up the butt & turn my life around and wave byebye to the old me! I feel so good about this for the first time in a long time, maybe the fact it's the start of the new year is helping? I'm not sure!

    Took my starting weight & measurements this morning, and my weight was a little heavier than I thought.. so I'm 15.10 stone, 41.6% body fat & my measurements are:

    Bust -- 45ins
    Waist - 38ins
    Belly -- 45ins
    Hips -- 43ins
    Upper arms -- 13ins
    Thighs -- 29ins
    Calves -- 17.5ins

    I always heard the blokes in work & my guy mates saying that there's nothing attractive about a women whose boobs stick out as far as her belly, & now mine do!

    I'll be consuming 20% below my TDEE, so that's 1961 calories, and I'll recalculate along the journey to make sure my TDEE and calorie numbers stay accurate.

    I'm a bit nervous at eating at the higher calorie end of the scale, but really hoping it works & more than anything gets inches and my body fat percentage down!

    Time to get my HUGE pile of ironing done & then when my brekkie has gone down I'll pop upstairs to do a Jillian DVD! Will update my food journal later on today.. also my MFP is lozzieemay for anyone who uses it & wants to see my progress on there too!

    Toodle pip :)
  2. mrs-s

    mrs-s Well-Known Member

    Good luck Lauren! And a happy new year!
    Really really hope this it for you now!
  3. laurenmay

    laurenmay Well-Known Member

    Thank you :) happy new year to you too! I've just finished my ironing & I've broken a sweat just from that, so god help me after I've done my DVD! Lol x
  4. laurenmay

    laurenmay Well-Known Member

    Well, I feel really down & crap about myself now :( I've got loads of Jillian Michaels DVDs - 30 day shred, killer buns & thighs, ripped in 30, extreme shed and shred and her complete body revolution program.

    I've attempted body revolution before, and found the DVDs tough but doable, but gave up after a few days last year when my willpower was zilch.

    So I just popped phase 1 workout 1 of body revolution in the DVD player, which is a 30 minute workout that I've completed on a few occasions, but after 8 minutes I've had to turn it off.

    I've always had weak joints in my knees and ankles since I was little, but since I've gained 6 stone the pain is extremely bad. I've been to the doctors who have referred me to physio, but I'm still waiting to hear back from them for an appointment.. Anyway, it hurts to walk, climb up & down stairs and trying to squat or kneel down is impossible and can't be done.

    Body revolution involves a lot of plyo jumping work & squats etc, so after 8 minutes the pain in my knee was so severe it felt like it was gonna snap and I had to turn it off and admit defeat :(

    I feel rubbish. I really wanted to workout & have a good solid exercise regime in place to help lose this weight quicker & get toned and fit in the process. But when I can barely walk for an extended period of time due to the pain then how am I meant to do anything else?! My local gym is closed today & as I'm back in work Thursday I won't be able to go regularly, I'll be lucky to get there for an hour workout maybe 3 or 4 times a week cause of my job and my LO.. I could probably attempt the bike, crosstrainer & treadmill walking slowly, but that's all I could do without being in a lot of pain & possibly making me knee worse. Which is why I wanted to workout from home a lot cause its easier time wise & convenience wise, but now that's a no no.

    A year ago I was really fit and would workout for at least an hour to two hours a day, so to be like this now is just a slap in the face :(

    I'm considering making a 30% cut from my TDEE now rather than 20%, as I can't exercise like I wanted so won't be having an exercise calorie burn, plus being morbidly obese on the BMI scale says I could make a 30% cut anyway.

    I just wanna cry :( sorry to sound dramatic but this has really brought me down.
  5. mrs-s

    mrs-s Well-Known Member

    Nooooo!! Don't even think about cutting your calories already! You havnt even given it a chance yet! Get some weight off and worry about starting to exercise properly then. When you've lost a stone or so, your joints will have abit less impact and you can try again then. You really don't want to give yourself an injury. I feel that would make it very difficult for you to stay on track with diet. Just put your LO in his pram and go for walks for now, start slow and not very far and build it up. Do not push yourself too soon, you've said yourself too many changes will mean you're less likely to stick to it. X
  6. laurenmay

    laurenmay Well-Known Member

    I'm not cutting dramatically! Lol, I'm going to try 30% under TDEE rather than 20%.. it's advisable for obese or the morbidly obese - which I am - to do a 30% cut but the only reason I was gonna start at 20% is because I thought I'd be burning a lot of exercise calories, but now that I won't be I'll go for the 30% deficit which has me at 1736 calories a day. xx
  7. laurenmay

    laurenmay Well-Known Member

    I'm not sure if anyone's actually following my diary, so might be talking to myself.. but need to update what I'm doing anyway.

    After asking people both on here & MFP, it's been decided for me that as I can't exercise properly at the moment, that following MFP's guidelines would be more beneficial for me than the TDEE guidelines.

    So as of tomorrow I'll be consuming 1580 calories a day to lose hopefully 1.5lbs per week as MFP suggests. When I can start exercising properly I'll up my calories in the respect that I'll consume some exercise cals back.

    I worked out my TDEE earlier based on being sedentary as I can't workout, and with a 30% deficit of a sedentary TDEE it gave me 1530 calories. So at least the MFP suggestion is on par with the TDEE one to a degree.. somebody said that MFP doesn't include exercise cals but TDEE does, so that's why MFP would be better for me.

    Anyway, enough rambling..

    I've also started making a list on my goals, both mini & along the way, and my ultimate end goal.


    -- Lose 14lbs, preferably by February 1st
    -- Get out of the 200's and back into the 190's
    -- Get down to 192lbs, meaning a 2st loss!
    -- Lose 2 inches from everywhere
    -- Get down to 182lbs (13 stone)
    -- Lose another inch from at least one spot
    -- Lose 3 stone!
    -- Fit comfortably into size 16 work trousers
    -- Get down to 168lbs (12 stone)
    -- Try a size 14 pair of jeans or trousers on, do they fit yet?
    -- Do your best to take up running again, but pace yourself..
    -- Get out of the 160's and into the 150's
    -- Be 150lbs, meaning a 5 stone loss!
    -- Have lost 6 inches from everywhere, taking bust down to 39inches
    -- Get down to 140lbs & see how I feel there
    -- Fit into size 10/12 clothes, both top & bottom
    -- Start training for a 5K run
    -- Get back to November 2012 measurements of 28ins waist, 32ins bust and 34ins hips
    -- Fit into size 8/10 clothes, top & bottom
    -- ULTIMATE GOAL of 133lbs!!
    -- Get cosmetic surgery done (for those who are unaware, I booked & pair for breast enlargement when I was my smallest last year, long story short is having a baby changed things a lot for me in the boob area & losing weight shrunk them down to nothing! The company have my money on hold until I'm ready to go ahead with surgery again)
    -- Book holiday abroad with OH and LO
    -- Wear a swimming costume & get in the pool, for the first time in 8 years
    -- Maintain weight & be happy!
  8. huwiesmummy

    huwiesmummy Well-Known Member

    just adding your dairy so i don't forget to do it later.
  9. linski24

    linski24 Well-Known Member

    Subscribing x

    Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
  10. laurenmay

    laurenmay Well-Known Member


    Thank you! There is loads of conflicting information about calories & it gets a bit much, and I don't wanna over complicate it cause that's when I'll find it a struggle.

    I had my consultation with the hospital group last Feb when I was 10st 7lbs, I was a stone heavier than what I'd been a few months previously but the surgeon said a stone is fine & he could still plan surgery and give me a full consultation there and then.. so had that & booked the date for April 20th, but by April instead of losing the stone I'd gained, I'd managed to gain a stone making me 11st 7lb.. so I postponed till May, then by May was even heavier, postponed till June, then July until I'd gotten so big I had to postpone till further notice & explained the situation, but thankfully they were able to keep my money on hold & will wait till whenever I'm ready, so when I'm down to goal it's my mission to get the surgery done! I know I'll lose my boobs again, I did last time, they were teeny tiny little fried eggs! It looked like someone had put a pin in me & deflated them! Lol

    Good luck to you too :) x
  11. laurenmay

    laurenmay Well-Known Member

    Dropped to 1580 calories per day as MFP suggests in order to lose 1.5lb per week. Will give it a week or so to see how I get on, and if I need to drop calories or increase then I'll readjust until I find the number that works best for me.
  12. laurenmay

    laurenmay Well-Known Member

    Feeling really down in the dumps today. I'm sick of feeling fat & frumpy, and of how much my weight wears me out from doing the littlest of things. My knees are extremely painful & I'm walking with a bit of a limp to avoid hurting them anymore - when I bend my knee it makes a big pop like its gonna discolate! My work uniform is pinching everywhere & my bloody back aches like crazy from standing around. God I'm so miserable! And usually when I feel this way I turn to food for comfort.. so this is gonna be a challenge.
  13. linski24

    linski24 Well-Known Member

    You can do it ... Think of all the goals ... Look at the goals ... That should motivate you ..
    You have a plan :)

    Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
  14. huwiesmummy

    huwiesmummy Well-Known Member

    I find when I need food that I turn to here and vent my problems. If that doesn't help I eat one piece of fruit and a big glass of water flavoured with something. Then if I still feel like **** by bed time I have a hot chocolate weather I have cals or not. I use options hot chocolate so 40cals per cup. (just make sure you measure correctly). Just take a deep breath. It's only the beginning we don't have a magic wand that fixes it right away. It's not like a vlcd. Results will take time give it time.
  15. laurenmay

    laurenmay Well-Known Member

    I think I'm gonna write out my goals properly on paper tonight.. it always seems to mean more when it's written down...
  16. laurenmay

    laurenmay Well-Known Member

    I'll no doubt be spending all night here to distract myself! & gonna have a nice soak in the bath and start moisturising my tummy later too... It's a vicious cycle with me of feeling down about my weight, so then binging & feeling worse, gaining more then feeling down again & it goes on and on. It's gonna be hard to break the routine of scoffing junk food when I feel crap, but I have to do it... I've got a freddo and hot chocolate for after dinner tonight so hoping that chocolate fix will help perk me up!
  17. littlemiss

    littlemiss Well-Known Member

    Hey Lauren,

    I've just found this, I'll be subscribing and hopefully will keep you motivated!

    Ok, so the first week is the hardest, you see no results and the change in eating ect is alot. Try and make your first goal to get through 7 days. Once you have been doing this for about a week you get willpower from somewhere and feel more motivated. I used to say to myself that every time I was hungry that was my body burning my fat, I know it doesn't work like that, but still...The worst part of all this is still being bigger for a wee while.

    I dont know if you seen the photos of myself (now photos) that I posted on your other thread earlier today (to show you how similar our body shapes are, now) but when I read this, I've noticed that your measurements are almost exactly the same as mine. Its so un-canny. My stomach is 45.5. I will post all my measurements on my diary thread later (i took them 2 months ago so they might need adjusted) I also get terrible knees, I have stairs in my house and omg what a moan I have going up and down them a million times a day. Especially coz LO doesn't sleep brilliantly so i'm up and down them at night too. I thought they would keep me skinny, but it appears not! I actually said to my OH last week, I think I need a knee replacement lool

    Have you ever been this weight before?

    I was heavier than this before, and had exactly the same issues, no motivation, sore knees, ect ect. and I done it and i'm the worst in the world for motivation.

  18. ingeh

    ingeh Well-Known Member

    il follow too, Iv got a diary to in my sign iture if anyone wants to follow :eek: You'll do it! my goal is to get to size 10 or maybe less, Iv got a lot of flab to lose lol! definatly the first week is the hardest but once you get into the routine it will become second nature to you x
  19. mrs-s

    mrs-s Well-Known Member

    Hi Lauren! Hope you're doing well! X
  20. laurenmay

    laurenmay Well-Known Member

    I haven't been so good with keeping my diary up to date this time round! Should really try harder and use this as an outlet for whatever's going on in my head to help me with my journey..

    Decided to get my butt back in the gym as of this morning, but didn't realise just how much my knee would get in the way of what I could and couldn't do.. Even some weight training is a big no cause the pressure on my knee is so painful & it feels like it'll snap at any moment.

    Really hoping that as this weight starts falling off my knee will get better & I'll be able to do more. It's so upsetting when I compare the person I am now with the super fit girl I was 12 months ago that could spend 2 hours in a gym doing back to back workouts and not break a sweat :(

    I'll be consuming 1600 calories on workout days, and then 1400-1600 on days I don't workout & am more sedentary. Also trying to aim for 10,000 steps a day but will need a pedometer to measure that correctly!

    It's weigh in day Tuesday morning, even though I haven't been 100% and have had slip ups diet wise.. I'm not calling it a fresh start cause that'll give me permission not to try my hardest. So I at LEAST wanna lose a pound between today & Tuesday morning!

    Will update food diary at the end of the day. Happy Saturday everyone :)

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