meowws diary..

[meoww]

Ive been updating in another bit!!

ok my official WI saw me lose 2.5lbs which im pretty happy with!
but then I looked on scales the following morning and was down another 4lbs!! so... Im waiting till next week before I count that officially but I am feeling amazing! really and truly!

so today Ive had all sorts to eat, nothing huge and keeping carbs fairly low but it seems good, Ive been really controlled and calm about it all, not been worried id eat loads and not wanting to!
I got some food in town to share with the OH, there was plenty and after so much I just knew I was full and stopped, it wasnt forced I just thought yep, im done. a few times ive been full and he has been too (which is amazing for him) and so he left food too which I was like oooh? as normally I know he'll polish off what I leave but now hes not doing that so its interesting!

At work there were some amazing looking cakes and I kept walking past them and my gosh I wanted some! so I took a big mixing bowl and covered them up!

not sure what else has happened.

Just generally Im feeling great, positive and looking slimmer! I must be careful with this weekend and ensure I keep my carbs and calories low but I have plenty of tricks up my sleeve now! -earlier I 'breaded' some turkey in cauliflower bits -similar way as the cauliflower crust pizza is made on recipes page. just one to add!

 

[meoww]

cant believe its nearly another week gone!!

well, today Ive virtually booked my tattoo slot in! well I have, its deffo happening, just confirming the day when I see my rota. Its going to be a huge thigh piece, my biggest tatt so far! and my thighs are FAT lol, well im working on them obv!

so Ive got about 2 weeks before I need to present them in their naked flabbyness to a nice man who will then be squashing them and drawing on them for several hours..
Im feeling a bit nervous about this.. I hope he's seen a fatter leg this close up before!!

after writing that Im wondering what im doing now!

NO, thats not the attitude, I've got two weeks which I could lose 7lbs in! and that would take me to possibly fitting back into my little denim shorts, which I did wear out on holiday with no tights or leggings!

So, this week
I have been eating fat.. Im not sure how much. Ive been snacking on my low carb bread a couple of times, which is about 3.8g carbs and 100cals
Had tuna salad today with mayo and some dips.. had a low carb 'pizza' with a small amount of cheese. had some yogurts. (all in the week NOT a day lol!)
so... I dunno, the scales will tell me tomorrow im sure!

I think it was when I read something about fat being good for you when theres no carbs, but before that I believed that although fat is ok in ketosis, losses will be smaller as it is calorie dense. but then what ive learned so far is that calories in/out is not actually true as different forms of energy (that are all measured in calories) have different effects, for example; protein takes more energy to be processed by the body, so eating equal calorie values in protein to say carbs would result in less energy being left over after processing. (there are studies and proof showing this)

anyway, I will see and if my loss is bad, at least I know!

also, more positives; I went to the supermarket and I was in one of those moods where you just buy loads of stuff without a plan, I was just throwing things in the basket (I promise its a good story) and I get home and find Ive bought ALL healthy good things, chicken, salad, vegetables, fish and nothing bad! hows that for victory? and I mean there was no metal battle or anything!

 

[meoww]

Ive also formed a future plan for myself with help of my Beck Book!
Think ive written this somewhere before.. or maybe I was just blah blah blahing it to the OH who has to hear my every thought and revelation! (lucky him!)

I often think, would I be eating this if I wasnt dieting? and Id love to say and mean yes, but the reality is, no. or is it?
I think it will be a bumpy road maintaining.

so, my plan is this:
I will weigh myself either once a week or once 2 weeks (possibly start with the former and if it goes well then move to the latter)
and I will have a 3lb buffer (this number was suggested in the book and with me being short I think it suits me)
if my weight wavers around the 3lbs mark, then ok, might just have a careful week. If it steps over that then I go back on diet until its off again -which really should only take two weeks max!

And that idea doesnt scare me! and I think it will help me learn truly how much of what I can eat each week to maintain and what will make me gain. And I think ill be surprised

 

[meoww]

oh also, found old photos of my teen years and my gosh! I looked so sad and sulky (and fat!) not being hard I really did look big! I felt so sad looking at the pics and in most there was my best friend who was the skinniest girl!
I just want to reach to the past me and tell her, it will all be ok!

 

[porshe04]

oh also, found old photos of my teen years and my gosh! I looked so sad and sulky (and fat!) not being hard I really did look big! I felt so sad looking at the pics and in most there was my best friend who was the skinniest girl!
I just want to reach to the past me and tell her, it will all be ok!

I dug out some old teen photos a couple of weeks ago and put them on FB. Not quite the same situation as you, I was slim yet I never felt it. I'm tall so maybe it just made me feel bigger, I don't know. If only I could speak to myself back then and say stay the way you are! It's only years of yo-yo dieting that's got me to where I am now. I felt I should post the pics to prove I haven't always been overweight!

 

[meoww]

yeah its sad to see times when you were actually doing ok but just didnt see it. I lost some weight at age 16 but didnt lose as much as I wanted, got frustrated and gained loads.
Ive also noticed myself going up and down slightly throughout life but I always saw myself as massively fat and it wasnt all bad!

Its funny how we struggle to accept our height too once we realise we're going to be tall or short! for me being short I believed I was supposed to grow and then id be thin! but I just grew outwards as well as upwards!

 

[meoww]

woop woop

WI this morning... 6.5lbs off! I'm so happy! How? Why?! NO, I mean YES go me!
My mental attitude is so great right now, I'm just not being tempted. Ok as listed above I'm eating cheese and stuff but must be doing something right, none of my meals are particularly large, ive made the odd curry thats been fairly big but thats due to being loaded with vegetables and zero noodles! so just cheap calories taking up bowl space! oh and water, so so so much water!

Going to keep a nice pace for the next two weeks and I could be in an amazing place!

Slight problem though, I'm hoping to go out on a p*ss up with my sister after work on Saturday.. sooo might need some carbs. argh!

I'll finalise the plans then write a food plan!

 

[meoww]

blah blah weekend, got drunk, ate bread, blah

awful hangover, regret, more junk food, felt ill, felt bloated

lesson learned..again!

good news, no more massive weekends for the next month! bad news, still not sure how to handle them when they come!

plan: work work work work work save save save, get skinny, buy house (and a cat)

starting some work experience so I might possibly actually have a career in my life, failing that it will keep me occupied and I can practice how to eat when I sit at a desk all day as opposed to running around after annoying rude customers

 

[meoww]

Having a medium week, can feel my focus waning which isn't good.
I haven't sat down with my Beck book for ages and read all my cards so perhaps that's what I should do now! (Well once I'm home from work!
Just typing that made me feel better!

 

[meoww]

Damn I keep forgetting to read my cards and Beck book!
I'm trying I read from memory but can't remember it all! Must do as soon as I'm back from work!

 

[dovydaitis]

you will soon be back on it, just think back to the crappy feeling when you were off it

 

[meoww]

Still here!

So I've still been struggling, I have got some great new habits and I do really need to recognise and reward myself for those.

But, I want quick weight loss! And I am still eating things that will not give me the results I want, and I know this, I still eat things and then Im somehow surprised when I've not lost or even gained weight!
Its like im just pushing my luck all the time, trying to see what I can 'get away with' eating!

Its silly!

I think I need to write myself a proper plan for the week, allow a few extra things on certain days and then stick to the plan!

My holiday is getting so close! less than a month! just over 3 weeks! GOSH! Im going to Malaga in Spain and I only recently saw where it actually is.. (my friend picked it) and its on the south coast of Spain and if you check a map like I did, you will see its the Southmost point of Europe, further south than Greece and Turkey (which I always assumed were baking hot) its practically in Morocco, so being there in AUGUST and being FAT will be a little less fun than being thin!
I need to shed my natural insulation, and then slink into flesh showing clothes without scaring anyone..

must do this, must must must!!!

 

[porshe04]

You're still trying which has to be a plus. I'm off to turkey in 35 days, not that I'm counting, and have to say I had no idea that Malaga was further south. Hot,hot,hot, in fact I've just looked and its a sweaty 32 today in Malaga. Unfortunately there is no miracle for us to lose a big chunk of weight pre holiday, you know what needs doing and how to do it. Maybe get your Beck bible out, that always seems to help

 

[meoww]

well according to google its inline with south Turkey, I didnt realise Spain stretched so far south! 32 gosh, hot hot!

This diet is the only way ill lose as much as possible before then! nothing else will!
well today ive had loooads of water plus one sachet so far. and coffee.

 

[porshe04]

well according to google its inline with south Turkey, I didnt realise Spain stretched so far south! 32 gosh, hot hot!

This diet is the only way ill lose as much as possible before then! nothing else will!
well today ive had loooads of water plus one sachet so far. and coffee.

Are you just doing packs then? I thought you were low carbing.

 

[porshe04]

Are you just doing packs then? I thought you were low carbing.

I think actually 32 is quite cool for there, in August its going to be 40+

 

[meoww]

hah oh no, its been so long since I was somewhere that hot!

Im low carbing and mixing packs in too, Ill have about two low carb meals and 1-2 packs a day but im looking to just have one low carb meal and the rest packs.
not been sticking to my plans very well though!

 

[meoww]

wooo hooo had 4 packs today, some milk almost it! had a couple of tiny tastes of things at work (I do mean tiny) a drop of tuna, taste of olive tapanede and taste of cheese -my job involves tasting foods and they were literally tiny bits and I only enjoyed them a little bit..

but otherwise, a GOOD DAY !! I can tell Ive been doing good as Im super tired right now, feel dizzy, mouth tastes awful, thirsty, all the signs!

 

[meoww]

oh urgh Ive had a full week off! and its felt like forever! I also do not feel good, feel heavy and sluggish, my skin is awful etc etc.
So I feel like I've learned somewhat and am looking forward to a clean week, well 6 days.. as I have my holiday in 6 days...! eek
Ive leaned that I dont enjoy eating lots of sugar, it makes me feel rubbish, but is also addictive, I've been wandering around looking for food and cant think of things that dont contain sugar! I had some eggs earlier, it took me a long time to remember the food type: eggs! all I could think was um cake? chocolate? cake? bread? I have lots of cake around as it was my birthday. I am indeed fed up with all things sweet though!

I now can totally say no to alcohol as I think forward to how I feel the next day (which is a lot worse than I used to feel) so I wonder if I can do this for sugary things too, I think it wont be long till I can!

well I need to check in every day, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun all must be GOOD, close as 100% dare I say be 100% !!

 

[porshe04]

I'm with you on the sugar. I'm starting to think all my weight related problems stem from it. I've cut out alcohol & sugar/sweetener and its been so much easier to control what I eat. Only 16 days to my hols now, not at the weight I want to be but feeling pretty good about myself and I'm determined not to blow it while I'm away. Good luck for the next 6 days and happy holidays