Hi Claire,
You covered your *ss, because she cannot now complained that you left her out, excluded her, etc. (Although, she might anyway).
My oldest sister is a very bitter person -- has been most of her life. She has made choices in her life that did not give her what she thinks she wants, wanted, etc. -- and she resents that I have not made the same choices. The grass is always greener.
She is a very hard worker and is very well educated and could possibly (even at her age -- she is 51) have a very rewarding professional and personal life... but her disposition and personality lead her to sabotage herself. She is physcially very attractive (even when overweight -- which she has been for the past several years, and that contributes to her misery), clever, funny, intelligent, etc. but she has a huge chip on her shoulder and makes things very difficult for the people around her.
Of course, my losing weight was a personal affront to her -- I only lost weight to make her feel bad about not having done so. My being in a solid marriage for the last 22 almost 23 years, is just to spite her... etc. It is always all about her: what people are doing to thwart her. I wish she would go into therapy and get over all of it.
Lots of people had less than perfect childhoods, lost opportunities, bad boyfriends, broken hearts, etc. SHE NEEDS TO GET OVER IT -- and move on.
But if there is anything I have learned over the years of dealing with her... is that I am going to keep my own counsel (i.e. my mouth shut) and just act as I would if she behaved in an acceptable fashion. Sort of like pretending you do not hear a burp! LOL It actually works... if I act like she is not being a difficult Bit*h... then eventually she stops.
MM
