Dear son.
I love you more than life but not more than sleep. Please stay in your own bed tonight and sleep ALL night. I do not want a visit at 12.33am, a call out at 2.47am, to be informed at 3.22am that you have lost your pillow or at 4.17am that your nappy has leaked and your bed is wet.
It is bad enough that I have to share my bed and duvet with your father without having you try to climb in and inform me that you are going to fall off the edge of the bed and you don't have enough blanket and are therefore cold. Stay in your own bed and you wont fall out, you will have a whole duvet AND a fleecey blanket all to yourself, and I wont have to lose my temper at an ungodly hour known only to people who have to work nightshift.
Thank you,
Your loving mummy xxxxx.
P.S. the night does not end at 5.30am, it ends when MY alarm goes off at a slightly more reasonable 7am.
Dear husband.
I know for a fact that my name is not Mary, I was not alone in that hotel bedroom on our wedding night, and he is most definitely your child too. Take your sodding turn at 2.47, 3.22 or 4.17am. Do not complain that my getting out of bed is causing a draught, that you are tired and didnt get much sleep or wonder why i'm tired and grumpy when you give me a kick at 7.02am and ask for a cup of tea. Man up and face up to your responsibilities,
As ever,
your wife, mother of YOUR son