Hey all,
Got called away last night so couldn't carry on chatting!
Hmmmm.... an update on me... where on earth would you like me to start!
I suppose the important bits first, in some kind of month order! (makes it easier to go through!)
July 2011 - Had my gall bladder out... the biggest step towards me screwing up all my good weight loss work :-(
August 2011 - Not too bad was just getting the baby ready to start school really, went away with Michelle to my Mum and
Dads and it was awful... they all just clashed and did not get on at all :-(
September 2011 - Baby started school...very proud Mummy!
October 2011 - Went away to Cyprus for the week with the in-laws and mostly had a lovely time.
November 2011 - A bad month, very bad. Michelle's body pains had been getting worse and she collapsed in bedroom, we had to call an ambulance for her and she had semi-paralysis from her neck down, they believed that she may have had a minor stroke, she came out three days later and was then signed off of work which meant financially things were awful.
December 2011 - An ok month, Michelle no better, if anything getting worse...this is where the problems in our relationship began, it was to be the start of a very rough few months, the saving grace of December was that I got a job I loved working in Sports Marketing.
January 2012 - Not a good start to the year, things were rough and things between Michelle and I became unbearable, I started to go to work three hours early just so we didn't have to spend time together. On the plus side I passed my driving test!
February 2012 - Michelle collapsed again, just as bad as last time, in hospital a week this time and finally came out with a diagnosis of Fybromyalgia, this meant we had to move in temporarily with her parents (we don't get on) and then tragedy for us, at 34 weeks pregnant my sister found out that her baby had died. I also got made redundant by text message...no wages... no warning.
March 2012 - On 1st March at 08:42 weighing 3lbs 9oz Jasmine Emalee Doris Turner was born a sleeping angel, I have never seen such a beautiful human being in my whole life, I held her and sang songs to her and told her all the things that an auntie should tell her. We had Jasmine's sleeping day on 14th March where I read a poem... the coffin was so tiny... It will remain a time in my life that I never want to experience again, I will always remember the heart wrenching sounds of my sister screaming as the curtains closed... a sound that will stay with me forever.
At the end of March I made the decision to leave Michelle, the relationship was bad, there was no communication and no connection, the Fybromyalgia had robbed me of the person I loved and I didn't even know her anymore.
April 2012 - Had my birthday but really this month went by in a blur.
May 2012 - The same really, all a blur apart from starting a new job as a carer, its ok but i'm looking for something else whilst working.
Now - In the last few days Michelle and I have decided to give it another go, I don't know if its going to work but we owe it to ourselves, to Deven and to the two years that we had together to try. Just been off work the last two weeks as cracked my metatarsal falling down the stairs! back to it on Sunday though.
So, on Sunday is when I begin to turn things around again... I am starting my diet, using some Exante stuff that I have in the cupboard for now but will probably move to slim and save when I can afford it after pay day. I am also going to combine it with the C25K challenge, I want to get healthy as well as lose weight. I have just over two weeks until my sister's wedding so am hoping to knock off a bit of water weight by then if I'm lucky I might be able to kick off 10lbs just so I look a little better in my dress!
Sorry for offloading on you all, writing it all down has made me realise how crap its all been really :-(
But positivity is the key... I'm moving forward with hope rather than just existing.
I hope that you are all well.
Emma
xxx
xx
