I'm thinking of joining you 100%, instead of doing LL.. Sorry if this rambles and feel free to skip!
This is not a decision I will take lightly and there are a few reasons for this.
But after losing 2 stone on foundation in 8 weeks, I suddenly started having major lapsing problems. Long story short I spoke to LLC on the day I was at my lowest and she said to continue foundation until the end even if I'm lapsing, then do route to management. Strongly discouraged me from doing lite, where you have a small meal. (Sarah this is known to you anyway I know!).
I tried to get back to full abstinence and it really wasn't working. So I decided to follow lite principles (same as working solution). Since then I've more or less been back on track with very little willpower or effort, which is an amazing feat for me!
So as I started to think, I started to question LLC's motives and I reckon it's about the money for her, she doesn't really want to do what is right for me, only for her bank balance.
Then I realised my problem in lapsing. I'd stopped taking responsibility for what goes into my mouth, and it had become about breaking the diet or sticking to it. So, when I lapsed it was full of junk and rubbish I wouldn't have eaten (or only in moderation) before the diet. Since going against LLC's advice and having that meal each day, I've taken on the responsibility again and I feel better for it??! And I feel in control again.
So then that got me thinking. Why should I pay £66 a week for a program that isn't the right one for me. I only have one stone left to lose and I can do that myself, I am positive. But only if I take responsibility for my own eating. By doing Exante, I feel it would suit me better: give me autonomy back, and allow me to save £15 a week (adds up, that's about £60 a month!) and thus will give me a little extra for buying food.
In taking responsibility, I have decided to continue with the LCD plan (such as the working solution) and I think it might be better to do it completely away from the LL program. I can't explain exactly why, but I know that in my low moments I will need to have that core belief I am doing this for myself and taking responsibility for my own actions to stop me lapsing. If I continue with LL, I know there will still be that part of me that is "on a program" to lose weight, and so want to break it. Hope this makes sense?!
BUT a slight complication is that I am doing a research project and my LLC is the one who agreed to pass the details on to people she knows who might be suitable for that. So I don't want to totally burn that bridge I have with her (even though that sounds like I'm just using her, oops!). So I thought that I could possibly talk to her, explain that I'm doing well and back on the program but that financially I can't afford to do the program any more (she knows I'm a student anyway), but would she still be willing to pass on details of my study to relevant people..
Anyway sorry this is long and rambling but I *just* had that epiphany about taking responsibility and needed to get it off my chest!
And it's so fabulous that Exante now has its own section of the board and everything! Yay!
Glad you're still doing well Sarah!
