Alessandra's diary

Teddy, I though about that. I will do 4/3 then 3/4 but always have pv on weekends.
 
Alessandra said:
Just when I think I am finally doing everything right, I realise that I am eating too much! Yesterday I had 2200cal!

So, from now on, not only will I post my menus as precise as I can, I will also count the calories.

Even though I am happy I lost weight, I am very frustrated it's going so slow. I hope this might help.

Today is going to be another pp day. I decided to do sat sun mon pv and pp the rest of the week. I cannot have my children thinking I'm not allowed vegetables. I have to eat vegs in front of them on weekends.

Breakfast-
2 eggs 176cal
100 grs ff fromage 50cal
30gr oatbran. 104cal

lunch
1/2 meatloaf( around 300grs lean mince, 1/4 onion, 1/2 egg and 40grs fromage frais)
100 grs Greek yogurt with sf jelly

Snack
150 yogurt

Dinner
1/2 meatloaf
100grs chicken breast
150gr yogurt

4 water
1 green tea
4 coffee

That is what I had today, Wednesday. It looks like a lot to me, isn't it?
I was still hungry after dinner. My kids asked for a toasted cheese sandwich on seeded bread and only had half. I have no idea where I got the strength not to eat their left overs!
 
Had another 200grs chicken and 200grs of yogurt. Enough now....
 
Are you "hungry" Alessandra...?

I ask because I was discussing the (foreign to me) notion of real physical hunger with a French Dukaner at lunch yesterday.

Do you eat from habit/boredom/stress/whatever etc, or are you really hungry?

I'll be upfront with you - I have (current tense - like an alcoholic) an eating disorder. I am a compulsive eater. Have you ever had issues like this?
 
Jo, very very good question.

I was asking myself the same thing a few days ago. I dont know if I know what hunger really is. Do I eat 500grs of meat because I am hungry of because it is allowed in the diet? Do I eat to feel better? I dont know.

Coming from a family with italian roots, I learned since I was little, that you "should" always eat something whenever you feel sad (or happy or afraid or etc). I even thought about going to a hypnoterapist to see if this "code" in my head could be changed.

I have always thought that when I felt totally happy with my life this problem with food would disapear and I was very wrong. My life now is exactly how I always wanted it to be. I have the husband I love, perfect and happy kids and live in the country I chose. However, this last few years dieting with no results left me angry and bitter about myself. I cant be happy for people who lose weight. I just think "this is not fair! I am the one dieting! I should be loosing!".

Cutting a long story short, I do eat compulsively especialy when i am about to have my period. When I was on ww i would save all the points for this day. I also ate compulsively for 3 days after 12weeks of religiously following the program and losing next to nothing. I think i now eat to for comfort but for anger. It's like I am angry for my body for not following my instructions!!!

I am sure I have an eating disorder because this is a major issue in my life. If i am following a diet you would have to kill me to make me cheat (conscienciously) and that is not very normal...

Anyway, sorry for such a long post and thank you ever so much for reading my diary. By doing that you are really making a difference!
 
Thank you Alessandra for your honesty. For people like us, this sort of a diet isn't even recommended as we do abuse rather the idea of "unlimited foods". And, of course, when we're happy with our weight (will we ever be?), there's Conso awaiting and we can't eat that way in Conso!

Your weight loss is good. Perhaps try eating half the quantity of meat you've prepared for a meal. Then stop and have a glass of water, and consciously ask yourself the question: "am I hungry?" If you are, then continue by all means.

I need to learn about hunger too. It's something I seem to really fear.

I wish you luck Alessandra - for some of us losing the weight is but half the battle. :)
 
Jo, are they helping you with this issue(hunger)? Do you know what triggers you to eat like that?
 
I am glad you said "people like us" because lots of people don't take me seriously when I say I have an eating problem. They see me at a healthy bmi and patronise me, they think I diet because I am futile... What people don't see is years and years of battles with the image you see in the mirror. I am glad my husband loves me whatever size I am but every time I go home I feel "judged" by how much I weight.

Anyway, you lost a lot of weight. Maybe this diet is perfect for us exactly because we can eat unlimitedly. Have you thought about that?
 
The problem is that we only eat unlimited quantities in Cruise. Once on Conso, I can gain lots!

Anyway, I don't want to put a spoke in your wheel. You must do as you see fit for now, get the weight down, and then see how you can manage thereafter.

:)
 
Do you think I should limit myself now? Do you think this is why I'm not loosing so much? Please tell me!
 
So today was my third pp day in a row and my weight hasn't gone down since Saturday. Now that I have this diary I know that if I make any mistakes someone is going to warn me ( I hope). I just worry I'm eating too much.

Bkf
2eggs
80grs quark
2 tbsp oat bran

Lunch
475grs red lean meat (2%)
100 grs Greek yogurt

Snack
100grs Greek
100grs rhubarb (weighed cooked)

Dinner
300grs chicken breast (weighed raw)
1/2 récipe of quiche (1 récipe= 250grs quark, 1 tin of tuna, 3eggs). Must confess that I was hungry when I made those and by the time they were ready I wasn't anymore but ended up eating anyway. Really regret it

Snack
Jelly
 
I would say that was a lot of eggs for one day but I don't think that is going to affect your weight loss negatively...
As for the eating disorder posts, I found the exercise they did on Supersize v Superskinny very helpful where you go to your old photos and pinpoint where the weight problems began *if you don't already know*. You can't solve a problem like that without first determining its origin. I know I began to get chubby as a child of 8 when I lost my younger brother. Food was a comfort to me. Now if I start to get feelings where I think I need 'comfort' I replace food with something else, pampering or something... I also recognise the feelings more readily now, acknowledge them and distract myself with something else. The more you do this the less you are at the mercy of these triggers.
Not sure if that helps but it might be a worthwhile exercise. Food problems don't just arise spontaneously, they are almost always rooted in childhood or attached to a negative emotion.
 
Do you think I should limit myself now? Do you think this is why I'm not loosing so much? Please tell me!

For the diet and weight loss, provided you stick to lean protein, there's no problem.

For "real life" after Cruise, that's anyone's guess.

As we've said to you before, your weight loss is perfectly normal with someone with little to lose.

Are you exercising at all? What are you drinking?
 
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Wdstepmum, I have tried to find the trigger for a while. I think it happened over a period when my brother was diagnosed with bronquites. My mum started to take him out to play sports every afternoon and leave me in the house all alone. Not very sure about that but I can't even find photographs of that period. Competition with my older sister throughout my whole life also didn't help.

Maintainer, I was looking at curvy's diary and noticed she is exercising a lot and lost 2kgs this week. Maybe that's it, exercising is the key for weight lost for me. Funny cause I can keep a diet for months but it is extremely hard to keep an exercise routine. I think I should try to focus more on it.


Wkdstepmum, how was your week? I remember you were planning a week with no dairy etc. How did it go?
 
Well I think knowing yourself is so important, you should really think it through, spend time if you meditate just contemplating your food problem and try and take note of when you get this insatiable hunger and whether you have had any negative emotions that day or experiences which might have made you feel 'alone' or 'disempowered' or 'unloved' etc.
As for my focus week I'm afraid life got in the way this week, OH and the kids were all ill with flu and this meant I was doing EVERYTHING for EVERYONE but I'm not going to beat myself up about it because that happens sometimes. I'll just do it next week instead x
 
My weight is still the same. Today is the 4th and last pp day. Tomorrow is my official weigh in and I really hopes it goes down.


Breakfast
80grs Greek yog
100 rhubarb
1 egg, 125 quark, 1/2tin tuna

Lunch
300grs salmon
Greek yog 200gr

Dinner
Steak 400grs
Oatbran 30grs
Oaken yogurt 100

3 jelly
4 coffees
2 dcoke
6 waters
 
Hey, I read you lost 5 pounds until now on another post, congrats!!
5 pounds in almost 5 weeks is perfectly normal, I think you are doing really good:)
 
You are doing great - in fact, if you think of it in percentages someone who is has 10 lbs to lose and loses 1lb a week is losing twice as fast than someone who has 40lbs to lose and loses 2lbs a week.

This is the reality of trying to lose the last few lbs (and remember - a healthy body has to have a few lbs to fat , or women wouldn't have boobs and brains at the same time!)
 
Thank you girls! I guess I look at people here loosing a lot more and feel a bit jealous! :) I just can't wait to start showing! And I can't wait to get to conso and have a piece of fruit!

Atropos, ideally I would like to get down to 120lbs.let's see.

I wouldn't have done without you all! Thank you!
 
Alessandra - I thought 120 was the weight you achieved with slimming pills rather than naturally? Isn't in lower than your Dukan ideal weight?
 
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