JanD's Maintenance Diary. Week 38 onwards.
- Thread starter JanD
- Start date
JanD
maintaining since June'09
Thurs 8th April
Afraid I DID have a little biscuit at Mum's - it was literally a mouthful not even a couple of bites but I had it DANG IT!!! However I DID stop myself from having the second 'something' I've been having at home before going to bed - in my head this compensated for that biccie - mad I know.
Breakie - 1 weetabix, raspberries, splenda & skimmed milk
Options light hot choc.
Tea - cod fillet in provencale sauce (bought, so don't ask me what was in it
) and stir fry
2 yellow plums
I've brought to work a Batchelors pouch of beef & veg soup and a wholemeal roll filled with salad and a splodge of vlf salad cream (no spread) xx
Editing to add - 4 squares of wholenut and a light options hot choc
And again - Pkt of Go Ahead yoghurt breaks .... ***sigh*** xx
Afraid I DID have a little biscuit at Mum's - it was literally a mouthful not even a couple of bites but I had it DANG IT!!! However I DID stop myself from having the second 'something' I've been having at home before going to bed - in my head this compensated for that biccie - mad I know.
Breakie - 1 weetabix, raspberries, splenda & skimmed milk
Options light hot choc.
Tea - cod fillet in provencale sauce (bought, so don't ask me what was in it
) and stir fry2 yellow plums
I've brought to work a Batchelors pouch of beef & veg soup and a wholemeal roll filled with salad and a splodge of vlf salad cream (no spread) xx
Editing to add - 4 squares of wholenut
and a light options hot chocAnd again
- Pkt of Go Ahead yoghurt breaks .... ***sigh*** xx
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JanD
maintaining since June'09
Oh Mary ..... wait till you see today
Friday 9th April
Fell off the wagon and ate the horse
Started at Mum's ...... **sigh** 5 chocolates, 4 biscuits and a toasted hot cross bun with clover.
At home - a wholemeal, seeded roll with clover, corned beef & mayo followed by a piece of 50-50 bread with clover and walkers cheese & onion crisps (ate the rest of the packet too needless to say), a small piece of cheese and 2 McVities Gold chocolate biscuits
I THINK that's all but I wouldn't swear to it. I have no idea why this happened - I tried to do the 'examining my thoughts & emotions & reasons' thing but all I heard back was 'because I want it, I feel like it, I'm having it .... well I don't really WANT to have it, I know I'll feel awful when I've had it but I'm going to have it anyway so why bother fighting it' ...... you know the kind of thing.
I then didn't sleep very well, my heart was pounding - probably the poor old abused digestive system trying to cope with all that!
However I've been okay since i got up tonight except for 2 teaspoons of cheesey coleslaw in mum's. I had a banana as well but don't consider that 'bad'.
For tea I had a baked chicken breast stuffed with phili light & roasted tomatoes and courgettes.
I've brought to work a wholemeal roll with salad and vlf salad cream, 2 plums and a pear.
I'll have to be excellent over the weekend if I have any hope of even staying the same on Monday and I SOOOO wanted to lose more! (Obviously not enough!) 5 weeks till my hols .... gotta do it before then! xx
EDIT ... OFGS!!!!! Chunky KitKat at 5am xx
Friday 9th April
Fell off the wagon and ate the horse
Started at Mum's ...... **sigh** 5 chocolates, 4 biscuits and a toasted hot cross bun with clover.
At home - a wholemeal, seeded roll with clover, corned beef & mayo followed by a piece of 50-50 bread with clover and walkers cheese & onion crisps (ate the rest of the packet too needless to say), a small piece of cheese and 2 McVities Gold chocolate biscuits
I THINK that's all but I wouldn't swear to it. I have no idea why this happened - I tried to do the 'examining my thoughts & emotions & reasons' thing but all I heard back was 'because I want it, I feel like it, I'm having it .... well I don't really WANT to have it, I know I'll feel awful when I've had it but I'm going to have it anyway so why bother fighting it' ...... you know the kind of thing.
I then didn't sleep very well, my heart was pounding - probably the poor old abused digestive system trying to cope with all that!
However I've been okay since i got up tonight except for 2 teaspoons of cheesey coleslaw in mum's. I had a banana as well but don't consider that 'bad'.
For tea I had a baked chicken breast stuffed with phili light & roasted tomatoes and courgettes.
I've brought to work a wholemeal roll with salad and vlf salad cream, 2 plums and a pear.
I'll have to be excellent over the weekend if I have any hope of even staying the same on Monday
and I SOOOO wanted to lose more! (Obviously not enough!) 5 weeks till my hols .... gotta do it before then! xxEDIT ... OFGS!!!!! Chunky KitKat at 5am
xx
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Aww Jan, I can hear your frustration, I know how you are feeling as I was feeling exactly like that before I came back onto LT. Just wanted it because it was there, not because I even fancied it, it was just staring at me saying 'EAT ME' in a very loud voice. Thankfully the strictness of LT has put me back to 'a nice place'.
What about your routine - could you possibly change that, and pop into Mums a little later, rather than straight from a nightshift? I find after nights, I just go straight to bed, as I am cold, tired, and a bit hungry, but if I stayed up, I know I would eat too.
I remember reading a book a few years ago too, I cant remember who it was, but I think it was that McKenna bloke, called something like 'think yourself thin'.....something similar to that, and I found it very interesting. I think this was the one
Might be worth having a wee look at it.
What about your routine - could you possibly change that, and pop into Mums a little later, rather than straight from a nightshift? I find after nights, I just go straight to bed, as I am cold, tired, and a bit hungry, but if I stayed up, I know I would eat too.
I remember reading a book a few years ago too, I cant remember who it was, but I think it was that McKenna bloke, called something like 'think yourself thin'.....something similar to that, and I found it very interesting. I think this was the one
Might be worth having a wee look at it.
summergurl
♥3 Years Maintaining♥
Ah Jan!!!!!!! Im back! :giggle:
I can totally understand falling off the wagon and eating the horse! Its so hard to stop when all you really want to do is just eat whatever the hell you like!
You can pull it back i know you can!
5 weeks till your jollys, theres a motivation xxx
I can totally understand falling off the wagon and eating the horse! Its so hard to stop when all you really want to do is just eat whatever the hell you like!
You can pull it back i know you can!
5 weeks till your jollys, theres a motivation
xxx
JanD
maintaining since June'09
I really really appreciate all your support guys - I really need it at the moment too xx
Thanks Mary - I go to Mum's nearly every day at least once and as she lives literally round the corner from where I work it's a lot easier to go before and/or after work those days I'm working. Alright it's only a 12 mile round trip but I do that most other days - the days I'm working if I didn't call before and/or after I wouldn't go. I managed the 15 wks of TFR and I can manage when my resolve is in the right place .. it's me!!!
I watched the Paul McKenna programmes related to that book when they were on the tv. It's like everything else isn't it? You can know all the theory and know what you need to do and say all the right things to yourself but there's something in your head that just doesn't CLICK!!! Bl**dy frustrating!! I do thank you for and welcome your suggestions though! xx
I've finished work now - I'm still having my Sat night wine and I still feel a bit vulnerable ... wonder if it's a hormone thing?? xx
Thanks Joy ... I don't know either but they're a bloomin' pain! 5 weeks!!! I know!! ... hope I can pull it back!! xx
xxAww Jan, I can hear your frustration, I know how you are feeling as I was feeling exactly like that before I came back onto LT. Just wanted it because it was there, not because I even fancied it, it was just staring at me saying 'EAT ME' in a very loud voice. Thankfully the strictness of LT has put me back to 'a nice place'.
What about your routine - could you possibly change that, and pop into Mums a little later, rather than straight from a nightshift? I find after nights, I just go straight to bed, as I am cold, tired, and a bit hungry, but if I stayed up, I know I would eat too.
I remember reading a book a few years ago too, I cant remember who it was, but I think it was that McKenna bloke, called something like 'think yourself thin'.....something similar to that, and I found it very interesting. I think this was the one
Might be worth having a wee look at it.
Thanks Mary - I go to Mum's nearly every day at least once and as she lives literally round the corner from where I work it's a lot easier to go before and/or after work those days I'm working. Alright it's only a 12 mile round trip but I do that most other days - the days I'm working if I didn't call before and/or after I wouldn't go. I managed the 15 wks of TFR and I can manage when my resolve is in the right place .. it's me!!!
I watched the Paul McKenna programmes related to that book when they were on the tv. It's like everything else isn't it? You can know all the theory and know what you need to do and say all the right things to yourself but there's something in your head that just doesn't CLICK!!! Bl**dy frustrating!! I do thank you for and welcome your suggestions though! xx
Ah Jan!!!!!!! Im back! :giggle:
HOORAY!!!!! Hope you had a BALL!!!!!!!
I can totally understand falling off the wagon and eating the horse! Its so hard to stop when all you really want to do is just eat whatever the hell you like!
You can pull it back i know you can!
5 weeks till your jollys, theres a motivation
I've finished work now - I'm still having my Sat night wine and I still feel a bit vulnerable ... wonder if it's a hormone thing??
xxThanks Joy ... I don't know either but they're a bloomin' pain!
5 weeks!!! I know!! ... hope I can pull it back!! xx
summergurl
♥3 Years Maintaining♥
Doesnt look bad at all today Jan. Looks hearty xxx
xxxOkay...I've failed
I was subscribed to this diary and I haven't been getting the latest updates, so thought you'd gone quiet on me.
So I want to reply, but please excuse me if you end up repeating yourself somewhere along the line.
The first thing I notice and noticed before is that your Mum's is a danger zone for your eating. Okay...didn't take a genius to work that out did it
Going to pick some bits of the last couple of messages.
I was subscribed to this diary and I haven't been getting the latest updates, so thought you'd gone quiet on me.
So I want to reply, but please excuse me if you end up repeating yourself somewhere along the line.
The first thing I notice and noticed before is that your Mum's is a danger zone for your eating. Okay...didn't take a genius to work that out did it
Going to pick some bits of the last couple of messages.
I don't think you can do moderation at your mum's at the moment. Think you need to take this back to baseline for a while.
So basically, don't eat anything from her house. What do you need? Tired? Hungry? Take a banana or something just for there.
Make that house a no processed eating place. It's easier than trying to limit for the time being. You need to make a new habit for what you do at her house. Time for moderation later.
Can you do that?
wantitgone
Full Member
OH BOY I NEED SOME HELP! my first day choc shake fine had chicken soup for lunch and wanted to throw up couldnt finish it then tonight had vanilla with coffee in and smelt wonderful and couldnt finish that either!! struggling with the water and my mouth feels like someone has died in it!! please someone give me some motivation and do u think if i take the chicken soup ones back they will change them?? i dont know how u guys do this for months im proud of u x i have the worst taste in my mouth i need my bed as headache starting x
i need my bed as headache starting xOkay...read a bit more now.
Take it all back to base. Unprocessed food only. Enough of it. Stuff you enjoy. Real food. Just get the control back so you can relax a bit.
Yep, I know. But you don't have to fight it. It's fighting it that makes it so much harder. You don't have to have it either.
You just say STOP and move on. The more you think about fighting it or try to analyse it, the harder it becomes.
Put it away, don't even look at it. It's a no go Zone. Just for a while, until you get some confidence back. Attach a picture in your head to it. Whatever it is you feel you want that you know isn't right for you at the moment, if you see it, imagine a Fat Jan. Give it a picture. Then follow it with a picture of thin Jan who does it 'right'.
But above all, just don't go there. It's a no zone area. Nothing to fight...nothing to get frustrated about....nothing to analyse...just new habits that move away from the want=have.
Does that make sense? Does that seem doable for you for a while?
Go back to planning meals and snacks. Know when you are going to have them. Make sure it's enough.
Take it all back to base. Unprocessed food only. Enough of it. Stuff you enjoy. Real food. Just get the control back so you can relax a bit.
Yep, I know. But you don't have to fight it. It's fighting it that makes it so much harder. You don't have to have it either.
You just say STOP and move on. The more you think about fighting it or try to analyse it, the harder it becomes.
Put it away, don't even look at it. It's a no go Zone. Just for a while, until you get some confidence back. Attach a picture in your head to it. Whatever it is you feel you want that you know isn't right for you at the moment, if you see it, imagine a Fat Jan. Give it a picture. Then follow it with a picture of thin Jan who does it 'right'.
But above all, just don't go there. It's a no zone area. Nothing to fight...nothing to get frustrated about....nothing to analyse...just new habits that move away from the want=have.
Does that make sense? Does that seem doable for you for a while?
Go back to planning meals and snacks. Know when you are going to have them. Make sure it's enough.
I was going to advise you to take your healthy breakfast, eg 2 weetabix with you at your Mums when you finish work, and vow to yourself, just eat the breakfast, and nothing else, but excellent advice from KD as usual, and I think her suggestion of NO eating at your Mums for the time being could be the better alternative.
At least try it for a week or so Jan, and then everything becomes a habit, so hopefully that could be a habit too.
Hope you get this cracked Jan, you know you can do it, you just need to get that mojo back hun. xxx
At least try it for a week or so Jan, and then everything becomes a habit, so hopefully that could be a habit too.
Hope you get this cracked Jan, you know you can do it, you just need to get that mojo back hun. xxx
JanD
maintaining since June'09
Put it away, don't even look at it. It's a no go Zone. Just for a while, until you get some confidence back. Attach a picture in your head to it. Whatever it is you feel you want that you know isn't right for you at the moment, if you see it, imagine a Fat Jan. Give it a picture. Then follow it with a picture of thin Jan who does it 'right'.
But above all, just don't go there. It's a no zone area. Nothing to fight...nothing to get frustrated about....nothing to analyse...just new habits that move away from the want=have.
Does that make sense? Does that seem doable for you for a while?
Go back to planning meals and snacks. Know when you are going to have them. Make sure it's enough.
__________________
KD thank you so much for taking the trouble ....... I like the 'picture' idea ... I like the 'no go' idea and I totally understand them. It's sort of what I did when I gave up smoking I think. I'd made the decision and i didn't revisit it - I treated it like a bereavement as in - much as I wanted this 'best friend' back they were gone and I couldn't have them - I need to adopt this attitude now don't I??
I have to say it's easier with smoking as you just don't have ANY whereas you have to have food but the principle is similar if not the same ..... like I've said elsewhere it's not so much a permanent solution we can hope for as better management .... well I won't stop trying!! And thank you soo much for your help and support xx
But above all, just don't go there. It's a no zone area. Nothing to fight...nothing to get frustrated about....nothing to analyse...just new habits that move away from the want=have.
Does that make sense? Does that seem doable for you for a while?
Go back to planning meals and snacks. Know when you are going to have them. Make sure it's enough.
__________________
KD thank you so much for taking the trouble ....... I like the 'picture' idea ... I like the 'no go' idea and I totally understand them. It's sort of what I did when I gave up smoking I think. I'd made the decision and i didn't revisit it - I treated it like a bereavement as in - much as I wanted this 'best friend' back they were gone and I couldn't have them - I need to adopt this attitude now don't I??
I have to say it's easier with smoking as you just don't have ANY whereas you have to have food but the principle is similar if not the same ..... like I've said elsewhere it's not so much a permanent solution we can hope for as better management .... well I won't stop trying!! And thank you soo much for your help and support
xx
JanD
maintaining since June'09
You do. Just for now. There is plenty of time in maintenance to work on things...try different things. Sometimes when it all gets too much, and it feels like it's going wrong, it's best to just reset the button.
No 'trying'. If you try you will fight. No willpower. None needed. You just dont do it. You don't fight it. You just don't do it.
The foods that seem to set you off tend to be the processed ones that react with the reward signals in your brain. It's much more complicated than that mind you, but there is a physiological reason why it's hard to stop once you start. It's not just you possibly being in the 'wrong' mindset.
Obviously you want to include these things eventually...or even shortly, but it can get too much when we allow ourselves so much freedom of choice and hope to work on them all at the same time.
If you can go for 'real' foods for the moment, you'll find it a lot easier...but do plan it out. Give yourself some structure...some rules. A bit like a TFR but without the shakes
JanD
maintaining since June'09
Finishing off the diary for the night .... Bite of DH's cheese, pkt skips and a li'l glass of Amaretto
Once again thank you all for your help & suggestions and most of all your support - I really don't know what I'd do without this place .... Big *****hugs***** to you all xxxxx
Editing to add - a piece of toast with butter and egg&bacon sandwich filler and 2 YES 2 McVities Gold bars ..... **sigh** hopefully this was a last rebellion!
Once again thank you all for your help & suggestions and most of all your support - I really don't know what I'd do without this place .... Big *****hugs***** to you all xxxxx
Editing to add - a piece of toast with butter and egg&bacon sandwich filler and 2 YES 2 McVities Gold bars ..... **sigh** hopefully this was a last rebellion!
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JanD
maintaining since June'09
You do. Just for now. There is plenty of time in maintenance to work on things...try different things. Sometimes when it all gets too much, and it feels like it's going wrong, it's best to just reset the button.
No 'trying'. If you try you will fight. No willpower. None needed. You just dont do it. You don't fight it. You just don't do it.
The foods that seem to set you off tend to be the processed ones that react with the reward signals in your brain. It's much more complicated than that mind you, but there is a physiological reason why it's hard to stop once you start. It's not just you possibly being in the 'wrong' mindset.
Obviously you want to include these things eventually...or even shortly, but it can get too much when we allow ourselves so much freedom of choice and hope to work on them all at the same time.
If you can go for 'real' foods for the moment, you'll find it a lot easier...but do plan it out. Give yourself some structure...some rules. A bit like a TFR but without the shakes
I'm forever telling people that there's no such thing as 'trying' - you either do or you don't ..... Lol!
I'll try (lol) with the unprocessed/real stuff as you suggest .... dunno if I want to take it as far as as doing without the li'l tipple as yet - perhaps see how that goes
I often wonder how I ever TFR-d ...... xx
Thanks again xxxx
