ok so i've got over my strop about the post earlier hee hee and i've ticked the remember me button so fingers crossed!!
few things i just really want to get off my chest here so off i go and i'd love any input from anyone!!
on food - i got to 10:45 last night without cheating and then i went out and bought a bottle of wine, crisps and a chinese!! i knew i had the choice and i chose to do that. i'm not in any way giving out to myself today BUT i really do need to do more work on that side of things. i'm straight back ss'ing this morning and there has never been an issue the next day about ss'ing, i never want food or anything naughty during the day, its late evening that would be my breaking point. i have got through it loads of times before but the last couple of nights i have given in.
on fake tan man - he told me last night that he does respect me hugely and is so thankfull to me for all i have done for him... he is and has been drinking since friday..... he admitted it last night. i called up to his house this morning to make sure he went to work, he told me he wasn't drinking last night but i knew he was. he also said last night that he would go to AA, something he said he would never do before so that was good. he was still a bit drunk this morning but went to work anyway. i basically told him last night and today that if he carries on the way he is going he will end up with nothing and no-one BUT as it stands now he has the potential to have everything and to have people around him who care about him so it was his choice. he is drinking tonight 'for the last time', tried my hardest to get him to an AA meeting tonight but he wasn't having any of it. i do feel for him cos he does believe he is having i suppose 'his last supper' and i've been there so many times.
on a positive note for me... i told him this afternoon that this is the last time i'm doing this, i told him i can't keep doing this to me and its not something i would walk away from lightly but its the last time. so the plan for this weekend is, he is gonna go through his own dt's, i am gonna stay with him on friday night and he will stay with me on saturday night. if this doesn't happen i won't lose any sleep over it BUT i mean it that this is the last time i'm sitting here watching him do this and this is the last weekend i'm giving up because of him. i have never ever said that to him before and i think it struck home but for how long.
anyway i'm in grand form, i'm happy, i'm wearing my jeans and a white top in work today and have got so many compliements its great!!! i'm off shopping tonight with my friend and looking forward to that. i'm off tomorrow and i'm gonna go to the gym and clean my house. have my friend with her two kids coming up on sunday to stay for a couple of nights so have to have the place looking a bit respectable!!!
i know i can do this ss'ing lark but i think what was going through my head last night was that i have come so far and done so well and i have all my lovely clothes for holidays so just one chinese won't ruin that .... but isn't that the rock a lot of people perish on????? so its once again dig deep and get to it!!
any comments please jot them down cos i really need a bit of feedback today guys!!
thanks a mill