diary of angie-bum, first time mum
- Thread starter angie-bum
- Start date
Purple Hugs
Loves weight.. training!
Great to hear yours is fine hun, will remember that about the water quality though.. I've not heard of that before. We haven't set ours up yet and are novices on that side of things.
Am planning on taking the girls swimming on Sunday with hubby so that'll be nice.
Am planning on taking the girls swimming on Sunday with hubby so that'll be nice.
angie-bum
Gold Member
Have had my scan, baby has the correct amount of heart chambers, brain hemispheres and eyeballs.... so phew on that count! Baby also didn't have any 'wedding tackle' so we think we are having a girl, which is fine cos we'd have been happy with either....glad I know cos I think unconsciously I was envisaging me bonding with a baby boy, so hmmmm, will need to change the mental picture. I am happy but wondering why I am feeling a bit odd now I know it's a girl. Maybe cos I haven't had a baby before and the scan made it very real. I suppose I am also worried about bonding to a little girl when my gut feeling was I was having a boy. Hmmmmm my head is a bit mixed up at the moment, hormones and my over active mind. My hubby is also being a bit odd, we live in a lovely house near to an estate and usually have no problems, but some young kids gave him some lip and threw their broken skateboard in his direction when he was trying to fix the car, now he wants us to plan to move. I love my house. I bought it with the proceedings of my Mums will. I was intending not to move again. I feel he has instantly fallen out of love with the house/ area and once he has made that change of mind I doubt he'll change his point of view. We have been here 3 years and had no problems. I feel really unsettled. I love my home. I suppose it's not that he wants to leave me, he just wants to leave our home (sometime in the future), but this has had a knock on effect. We were talking about getting some land near to us to do all those things you can't do in a semi detached house, you know, have a poly tunnel, build big bombfires, have a place to store 2 landrovers.... and we found a place but they took it off the market in the spring, but I have just heard that it's likely to go up for auction this winter. But he's now saying not to cos we could save the money to put to another place. I don't know. A plot of woodland came up 2 years ago I really wanted, and he managed to talk me out of it and got me to buy a bloody hot tub instead! not that the hot tub isnt lovely, but I really wanted that woodland and kick myself for not getting it.
We haven't come to blows about it, but I do find it unsettling that he seems to have let go of our home in his mind over one small incident. I don't like it when we dont share the same goals. I can feel us pulling in different directions.
Anyway, needed to write that as I have been up since 4.30am thinking. I also wanted to have a bit of holiday this week as it's going to be nice for a few days but he wants to just sort the house. I wanted to have a few days rest exploring Cornwall. May have to link up with my sis and do that. I hate it when I feel the need to take off in a different direction from hubby, but he won't listen to reason and if I just follow his decisions I will resent him. So, what do I want to do today? clear out my pottery, go to the dump, pressure wash the side of the garage...go out by myself or my sister and maybe paddle on the beach
We haven't come to blows about it, but I do find it unsettling that he seems to have let go of our home in his mind over one small incident. I don't like it when we dont share the same goals. I can feel us pulling in different directions.
Anyway, needed to write that as I have been up since 4.30am thinking. I also wanted to have a bit of holiday this week as it's going to be nice for a few days but he wants to just sort the house. I wanted to have a few days rest exploring Cornwall. May have to link up with my sis and do that. I hate it when I feel the need to take off in a different direction from hubby, but he won't listen to reason and if I just follow his decisions I will resent him. So, what do I want to do today? clear out my pottery, go to the dump, pressure wash the side of the garage...go out by myself or my sister and maybe paddle on the beach
Purple Hugs
Loves weight.. training!
Paddle on the beach!
We've had soooo much rubbish weather the weather is supposed to be good for a few days (on the Welsh coast anyway) so likely is in Cornwall too. If you need space to think and your head is obviously asking for that at 4.30am then get your head space hun. Explain to DH a little of how you feel, tell him you'd LOVE for him to come with you but will understand if his chores are more important. I don't mean that *****yily just let him know you are asking him to come but will respect his decision but it won't chang your mind.
As for the house, honestly when Erin was born and in the 3 years after Graham and my viewpoint changed dramatically about where we felt safe to raise our child. Our house was big enough but the area was slightly 'rough' and schools were poor quality. We considered buying a lovely big place within commuting distance but realised we'd be tied into full time work and commuting each day (both of us) and this in the end stopped us. It was very much a cross roads.
So my advice would be to consider his reasons for feeling the need to move, they are likely baby related in that the gang perhaps brought up fears over his own baby being like that one day. And see how you all feel after a long talk. Perhaps you could rent your house for a while is you needed to come to a compromise etc.
As for the land and landrovers/polytunnel etc.. a small holding is my dream so I can't sway you away or for on that it wouldn't be fair! lol but your dreams are your dreams and you need to find common ground to make them happen for you both.
Ok.. now as for a girl. and a healthy scan that is FANTASTIC news!!
But I can empathise on how you feel if you were 'bonding' with a boy internally. I was the same with Erin and am of mind today (as I head off for my scan) that I need to 'prepare' for a girl as I was slightly shocked when told Erin was a girl before! lol this is why I'm asking the sex again this time to give myself that room to 'prepare' my mind!
But in honesty, having 2 girls and having fostered many many girls ( as we only had one boy for 2 days in 5 years of fostering) they are lovely! lol and you'll find it much easier to bond I think. Just because in many ways they are mini-me's but with a mix of your DH thrown in. My Erin has my face, hubbies eyes and teeth (to her dismay as she'll need a brace as he has wonky teeth), his artistic flaire but my fire in her belly and attitude! I have learnt to smile sweetly when we clash personality wise as we are both 'women' although she is a mini woman at the moment it's apparant from an early age.
I'm likely going into too much detail here.. but I really do love our bond and try to nuture it while respecting her individuality.
I know all this is true of boys too but from what i've heard they can be more 'independent' from the very start.
Whatever sex your baby is.. it's YOUR baby and you'll have a fab bond I'm sure. You sound like a caring person who is in touch with how they feel - this will convey to your child for sure.
((hugs)) give your head time to get itself settled - you have 20 weeks after all till your baby arrives! lol (give or take a couple of weeks of course).
Congrats again on a healthy scan. Hope you make it to the beach. x
We've had soooo much rubbish weather the weather is supposed to be good for a few days (on the Welsh coast anyway) so likely is in Cornwall too. If you need space to think and your head is obviously asking for that at 4.30am then get your head space hun. Explain to DH a little of how you feel, tell him you'd LOVE for him to come with you but will understand if his chores are more important. I don't mean that *****yily just let him know you are asking him to come but will respect his decision but it won't chang your mind.
As for the house, honestly when Erin was born and in the 3 years after Graham and my viewpoint changed dramatically about where we felt safe to raise our child. Our house was big enough but the area was slightly 'rough' and schools were poor quality. We considered buying a lovely big place within commuting distance but realised we'd be tied into full time work and commuting each day (both of us) and this in the end stopped us. It was very much a cross roads.
So my advice would be to consider his reasons for feeling the need to move, they are likely baby related in that the gang perhaps brought up fears over his own baby being like that one day. And see how you all feel after a long talk. Perhaps you could rent your house for a while is you needed to come to a compromise etc.
As for the land and landrovers/polytunnel etc.. a small holding is my dream so I can't sway you away or for on that it wouldn't be fair! lol but your dreams are your dreams and you need to find common ground to make them happen for you both.
Ok.. now as for a girl. and a healthy scan that is FANTASTIC news!!
But I can empathise on how you feel if you were 'bonding' with a boy internally. I was the same with Erin and am of mind today (as I head off for my scan) that I need to 'prepare' for a girl as I was slightly shocked when told Erin was a girl before! lol this is why I'm asking the sex again this time to give myself that room to 'prepare' my mind!
But in honesty, having 2 girls and having fostered many many girls ( as we only had one boy for 2 days in 5 years of fostering) they are lovely! lol and you'll find it much easier to bond I think. Just because in many ways they are mini-me's but with a mix of your DH thrown in. My Erin has my face, hubbies eyes and teeth (to her dismay as she'll need a brace as he has wonky teeth), his artistic flaire but my fire in her belly and attitude! I have learnt to smile sweetly when we clash personality wise as we are both 'women' although she is a mini woman at the moment it's apparant from an early age.
I'm likely going into too much detail here.. but I really do love our bond and try to nuture it while respecting her individuality.
I know all this is true of boys too but from what i've heard they can be more 'independent' from the very start.
Whatever sex your baby is.. it's YOUR baby and you'll have a fab bond I'm sure. You sound like a caring person who is in touch with how they feel - this will convey to your child for sure.
((hugs)) give your head time to get itself settled - you have 20 weeks after all till your baby arrives! lol (give or take a couple of weeks of course).
Congrats again on a healthy scan. Hope you make it to the beach. x
angie-bum
Gold Member
thankyou, things seem different in light of day.
I am going for the plot of land or I will regret it. I think I have fairly good instincts, where hubby is ruled by his immediate emotions....he was scared of buying a house 3 years ago 'I dont want the commitment...' so I had to raise the funds myself and we split up briefly about it, then he was saying until recently that it was 'the best thing we'd ever done'.
Literally, this incident by the estate, some 10year old scroats gave him a bit of mouth and now he hates it here (though he says he thinks we should stay here another 5 years or so, to give us chance to pay off more of mortgage) The house is by an estate but it's been fine, the primary schools in the immediate area have very good reviews even if the seniors don't and if I get the land and we are still looking to move to a delaperdated farm somewhere, I am sure I could sell a plot of land with a poly tunnel on it, to raise the cash.
I don't think I should sanction getting a wreck of a home though even if it has land (as hubby wants), this house is fine but needs stuff done, hubby is a builder and it took me 3 years to get a shelf put up and a half finished deck built! No, I won't worry, I know this home is good for a few more years yet. And i will try and get the land, it's probably going for auction, so there are no guarantees, but I think I will write a letter to the company and put in a cash offer now and see what they say. I want to be able to build a kiln and have bombfires away from folks.... hmm need to write me a letter! =)
I am going for the plot of land or I will regret it. I think I have fairly good instincts, where hubby is ruled by his immediate emotions....he was scared of buying a house 3 years ago 'I dont want the commitment...' so I had to raise the funds myself and we split up briefly about it, then he was saying until recently that it was 'the best thing we'd ever done'.
Literally, this incident by the estate, some 10year old scroats gave him a bit of mouth and now he hates it here (though he says he thinks we should stay here another 5 years or so, to give us chance to pay off more of mortgage) The house is by an estate but it's been fine, the primary schools in the immediate area have very good reviews even if the seniors don't and if I get the land and we are still looking to move to a delaperdated farm somewhere, I am sure I could sell a plot of land with a poly tunnel on it, to raise the cash.
I don't think I should sanction getting a wreck of a home though even if it has land (as hubby wants), this house is fine but needs stuff done, hubby is a builder and it took me 3 years to get a shelf put up and a half finished deck built! No, I won't worry, I know this home is good for a few more years yet. And i will try and get the land, it's probably going for auction, so there are no guarantees, but I think I will write a letter to the company and put in a cash offer now and see what they say. I want to be able to build a kiln and have bombfires away from folks.... hmm need to write me a letter! =)
angie-bum
Gold Member
hahahahah! blimey is your other half related to mine
he has had a mobile for 10 years but wouldn't get a contract, cos of the commitment, but did for the first time last week so he could have an iphone, so funny, not sure what this commitment stuff is about, but yeah I had to sort the mortgage myself and do all the house hunting and the house is in my name and i pay the mortgage, though hubby does pay the bills..... i say hubby, but weve been together 9 years and it was only just before I got pregnant that he was saying that maybe marriage wasnt such a bad thing.... I love him, even if I dont understand him
he has had a mobile for 10 years but wouldn't get a contract, cos of the commitment, but did for the first time last week so he could have an iphone, so funny, not sure what this commitment stuff is about, but yeah I had to sort the mortgage myself and do all the house hunting and the house is in my name and i pay the mortgage, though hubby does pay the bills..... i say hubby, but weve been together 9 years and it was only just before I got pregnant that he was saying that maybe marriage wasnt such a bad thing.... I love him, even if I dont understand him
Purple Hugs
Loves weight.. training!
Good for you Angie, at least you have the balls to make up for his insecurities ((hugs)) meant in a nice way.
Men are funny creatures lol I don't always understand Graham I must admit.
I hope that you get things sorted and he doesn't feel out of sorts.
the land sounds fab
Men are funny creatures lol I don't always understand Graham I must admit.
I hope that you get things sorted and he doesn't feel out of sorts.
the land sounds fab
Purple Hugs
Loves weight.. training!
Meant to ask you how your strawberry plants are going? Did you get runners shoot of them? have you popped them in soil?
Have just added more of mine into a container to grow in for next year! lol And ripped out a load of dead veggies for composting.
Still have leeks on the go but looking a bit veggie bare at the moment.
Have just added more of mine into a container to grow in for next year! lol And ripped out a load of dead veggies for composting.
Still have leeks on the go but looking a bit veggie bare at the moment.
angie-bum
Gold Member
funny you should ask, i was looking at my strawberries today and thought I should make the effort to pot up the runners...also had to compost some veggies that have gone to seed...but have 2 pumpkins growing well, lots of broad beans and a nice crop of mini tomatoes, so alls good =)
MrsDannyDyer
Silver Member
What did u do with ur pumpkins? I bought a grow ur own pumpkin kit from asda and it has so far grown a stem and a few leafs. What size of pot should i transfer it too??? do u keep it in a greenhouse or in d garden?
Purple Hugs
Loves weight.. training!
well done on your Pumpkins!
I had one plant.. grew about 8 foot long.. but all fruit were tiny then rotted from the inside out.. Gutted! Last year I had a plant that was about 4 foot long.. with no fruit! grrr no luck with them at all I don't know why.
I do well with corgettes, beans etc, so am going to stick to what I CAN grow next year! lol
I had one plant.. grew about 8 foot long.. but all fruit were tiny then rotted from the inside out..
Gutted! Last year I had a plant that was about 4 foot long.. with no fruit! grrr no luck with them at all I don't know why. I do well with corgettes, beans etc, so am going to stick to what I CAN grow next year! lol
angie-bum
Gold Member
well with the pumpkins I had some it pots, which didnt do well, but the one I put in my raised bed with lots of compost and manure has really taken off, but saying that I have 3 other gourds in the same bed and they have either not grown or have grown 9 foot long but with tiny fruit....so I have no secret. But next year I think I might put one plant per large trug of manure and compost and i will try and nuture them a bit more....I have noticed that the slugs love the flowers they produce so that might be why I have had problems with some of them fruiting, next year I wont crowd em so much and will be out with the copper tape and organic slug pellets!!
oh and purple, well done with the beans, I put 3 types in and got plants and flowers but no fruit, so not pleased! however, I did get some peas this year and salad. I have parsnips in one bed that is over run with marigolds and carrots in the other with is over run with pumpkin at the mo....yes next year I will not be mixing my crops up so much and will only grow what is likely to be eaten, ie salad tomatoes the odd pumpkin and maybe some peas
oh and purple, well done with the beans, I put 3 types in and got plants and flowers but no fruit, so not pleased! however, I did get some peas this year and salad. I have parsnips in one bed that is over run with marigolds and carrots in the other with is over run with pumpkin at the mo....yes next year I will not be mixing my crops up so much and will only grow what is likely to be eaten, ie salad tomatoes the odd pumpkin and maybe some peas
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Purple Hugs
Loves weight.. training!
it's very much a trial and error thing isn't it - veggies. lol
We don't eat and immense amount of salad, and last year i grew LOADS! lol the chickens ate most of it with the guinea pigs eating the rest! lol They like radish, celery etc, but I forgot to grow radish this year to be honest! oops! lol
I have a lot of leeks on the go and will do till end of autumn/early winter, they are great as I love them roasted or in stews/soups etc. So will repeat this next year too.
But mostly going to stick to light planting in pots next year while baby is young etc. lol
We don't eat and immense amount of salad, and last year i grew LOADS! lol the chickens ate most of it with the guinea pigs eating the rest! lol They like radish, celery etc, but I forgot to grow radish this year to be honest! oops! lol
I have a lot of leeks on the go and will do till end of autumn/early winter, they are great as I love them roasted or in stews/soups etc. So will repeat this next year too.
But mostly going to stick to light planting in pots next year while baby is young etc. lol
angie-bum
Gold Member
I don't know why I don't post on here more often
So I think I will now up until the birth!
I am 24 weeks today. I got so hot last night my skin burned and itched, tried using sudocrem, but made it worse. Finally got up in middle of night, bathed the reddest parts with cold water, found some vaseline, which didn't inflame the skin more and I got little sleep..... so I am taking today as annual leave and am enjoying breakfast. A cuppa earl grey and a bowl of cereal with nutmeg, yum!
I've been feeling movement for a couple of weeks now, but not much in the last 24 hours, but reading other forums, that seems to be the norm as there is less room to do cartwheels!
Have also had hubby's family over for a visit and they then asked us over for dinner yesterday for thai green curry. Hubby's step mum shyly said after dinner when the men had gone away to talk, that they wanted to help buy something for the baby, as they had done so for hubby's sister, which I thought was very sweet. don't know what to get but have been thinking about a kari-me, since I saw sunflower's post about them.
We have thought of a name and have settled on Katia Rosa Lyon...... If they got it wrong on the scans and shes a he, we will have to rethink, but I like the names Thomas, Aiden or Jack (after my dad).
I think my weight gain is within the bounds of being reasonable, I have put on 2 stone, and some of that has gone on my thighs and face, but I think the majority of it is my bump and boobs.
Oh yes! the boobs! When I was very skinny I was completely flat chested. When I had a little meat on me I had a 'pawful' as my hubby would say....
but now! well, for those who have always had boobs, it's no big deal but for me who has waited all her adult life for some, well I am amused and delighted to now be around a d-cup ha ha!
Size 18 jeans are comfortable at the moment, though I don't fill the thigh part. i can get into most of my pre-pregnancy tops, if I wear a belly band with them. I have also taken to wearing vest tops as belly bands, like a boob tube but lower, so it covers the waist band. So though I know I have put on weight you can see I am pregnant rather than just overweight.
I mourn not being able to get comfortably into my skinny legged jeans, but I promise I will get back into them!
I have also been thinking about maternity leave and when to take it.
I am due on the 17th of december, but my family have a history of having early births. I came out at 32 weeks and my sister's 2 came out at 38 weeks.
So when to go? I have 2 weeks annual leave still to take and I was thinking of having a few days around my birthday in November.
I haven't been pregnant before so don't know, what the last weeks are like. I don't do a strenuous job, it's a balance of being in the office and being in the car. I live 2 miles from work so it's not like I have far to commute...so don't know if it is better to leave it a bit later, like last week of nov or first week of dec or to take a month before the birth to pamper myself and prepare. Just writing that I realise I want to leave a month before my due date, maybe take my annual leave then and have 2 weeks ML before my due date. I have to think that I don't want to have to return 52 weeks later, just before xmas and babs first birthday, though at this moment that seems a long way off...
have even been thinking about whether we can afford for me to stay at home...and not return to my job. Hmmm will have to see nearer the time. I know I would have to work in some capacity for 3 months or pay the maternity pay back.
I don't know. Will have to win the lottery or find a home based job me thinks :wave_cry:
So I think I will now up until the birth!
I am 24 weeks today. I got so hot last night my skin burned and itched, tried using sudocrem, but made it worse. Finally got up in middle of night, bathed the reddest parts with cold water, found some vaseline, which didn't inflame the skin more and I got little sleep..... so I am taking today as annual leave and am enjoying breakfast. A cuppa earl grey and a bowl of cereal with nutmeg, yum!
I've been feeling movement for a couple of weeks now, but not much in the last 24 hours, but reading other forums, that seems to be the norm as there is less room to do cartwheels!
Have also had hubby's family over for a visit and they then asked us over for dinner yesterday for thai green curry. Hubby's step mum shyly said after dinner when the men had gone away to talk, that they wanted to help buy something for the baby, as they had done so for hubby's sister, which I thought was very sweet. don't know what to get but have been thinking about a kari-me, since I saw sunflower's post about them.
We have thought of a name and have settled on Katia Rosa Lyon...... If they got it wrong on the scans and shes a he, we will have to rethink, but I like the names Thomas, Aiden or Jack (after my dad).
I think my weight gain is within the bounds of being reasonable, I have put on 2 stone, and some of that has gone on my thighs and face, but I think the majority of it is my bump and boobs.
Oh yes! the boobs! When I was very skinny I was completely flat chested. When I had a little meat on me I had a 'pawful' as my hubby would say....
but now! well, for those who have always had boobs, it's no big deal but for me who has waited all her adult life for some, well I am amused and delighted to now be around a d-cup ha ha!
Size 18 jeans are comfortable at the moment, though I don't fill the thigh part. i can get into most of my pre-pregnancy tops, if I wear a belly band with them. I have also taken to wearing vest tops as belly bands, like a boob tube but lower, so it covers the waist band. So though I know I have put on weight you can see I am pregnant rather than just overweight.
I mourn not being able to get comfortably into my skinny legged jeans, but I promise I will get back into them!
I have also been thinking about maternity leave and when to take it.
I am due on the 17th of december, but my family have a history of having early births. I came out at 32 weeks and my sister's 2 came out at 38 weeks.
So when to go? I have 2 weeks annual leave still to take and I was thinking of having a few days around my birthday in November.
I haven't been pregnant before so don't know, what the last weeks are like. I don't do a strenuous job, it's a balance of being in the office and being in the car. I live 2 miles from work so it's not like I have far to commute...so don't know if it is better to leave it a bit later, like last week of nov or first week of dec or to take a month before the birth to pamper myself and prepare. Just writing that I realise I want to leave a month before my due date, maybe take my annual leave then and have 2 weeks ML before my due date. I have to think that I don't want to have to return 52 weeks later, just before xmas and babs first birthday, though at this moment that seems a long way off...
have even been thinking about whether we can afford for me to stay at home...and not return to my job. Hmmm will have to see nearer the time. I know I would have to work in some capacity for 3 months or pay the maternity pay back.
I don't know. Will have to win the lottery or find a home based job me thinks :wave_cry:
Purple Hugs
Loves weight.. training!
lol I didn't think i'd got bigger till I put my rain jacket on the other day and couldn't do it up! lol
How you doing now angie?
How you doing now angie?
angie-bum
Gold Member
am okay, just trying to reign in my eating. Some days I am bigger than others, I notice mainly on my bottoms, finding it more difficult to find stuff that fits but what I can wear one day is too tight the next and okay a couple of days later. Am trying to be healthier by having porridge instead of rice pudding, but I could eat both by the bucket load...supposeI could count that as a craving?!
Purple Hugs
Loves weight.. training!
definately a craving and possibly the milk behind them that is making you crave.
You could make a healthy rice pudding with sweetener or natural sweetenings like Aguave necter or honey (aguave necter I think i've spelled wrong but can't be bothered to go to my kitchen cupboard - you'll find it in the whole foods section - it is dear but made from plants rather than bees and lasts ages, great on loads of puddings etc).
I wouldn't deny yourself what you are 'craving' just try to make it as healthy as possible. There is nothing worse than craving something you can't have and it'll likely pass as quickly as it came hun! lol
As for shape - I'm the same sometimes, can't bear anything tight on my bump - especially those lovely maternity jeans I bought! lol Baby seems to move forward and push against them like 'I NEED MORE ROOM'. lol
Glad all is going well though, we're ticking off the weeks eh! lol
You could make a healthy rice pudding with sweetener or natural sweetenings like Aguave necter or honey (aguave necter I think i've spelled wrong but can't be bothered to go to my kitchen cupboard - you'll find it in the whole foods section - it is dear but made from plants rather than bees and lasts ages, great on loads of puddings etc).
I wouldn't deny yourself what you are 'craving' just try to make it as healthy as possible. There is nothing worse than craving something you can't have and it'll likely pass as quickly as it came hun! lol
As for shape - I'm the same sometimes, can't bear anything tight on my bump - especially those lovely maternity jeans I bought! lol Baby seems to move forward and push against them like 'I NEED MORE ROOM'. lol
Glad all is going well though, we're ticking off the weeks eh! lol
angie-bum
Gold Member
I can't believe how quickly it's going...just talking to my boss on the phone today to say when I will likely to be taking maternity...all of a sudden I realise that Mid november does not look that far off anymore eeeeeek! all is good though, just hope that swine flu doesn't kick off in a big way
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