diary of angie-bum, first time mum

[angie-bum]

What 7 people I barely know have said to me this week

It's a good job I have a sense of humour

'yeah, I didn't realise she was pregnant I just thought she'd eaten all the pies' (that's okay, just talk about me like I'm not standing right by you)

'You seem to have be pregnant for years (erh no, just the usual gestation period...7 months so far)

(when discussing with a colleague a future appointment just b4 mat leave)...'you mean you'll still be as big as a house by then' (er?)

(in a break during serious meeting) 'I had my first at 40, you'll be fine' (erm, I don't know you, I didn't say I wouldn't be fine & I'm not 40)

'how long have you got to go.... 11 weeks! really?! (like she thought it unlikely) are you sure your not having twins? ...your having a boy. No a girl?!' (she obviously didn't believe this either)

(after I'd rushed back from a hastily arranged nurse appointment, as Bp suddenly higher and found out had raging uti)- from receptionist...
'everything alright then? never mind you'll not be able to take another week off' (well no, i wasn't looking for time off I was just making sure that I didn't have anything that could risk baby or an early birth, like a high BP or a raging uti.....Jeeze! I do need to have weekly wee and bp checks from now on.

'it's a shame you lost all that weight, just to put it back on again...' (well thankyou, you didn't bother to say anything complimentary or even acknowledge it when I had lost the weight, you just thought you'd save up that glowing comment until now...)

Otherwise, it's been an okay week. My midwife is a bit fluffy and doesn't listen to me, but I have seen a fab nurse practitioner and health visitor this week so not everything has been odd.

 

[Purple Hugs]

((HUGE HUGS)) I am right there with you hunny, bloody insensitive people out there and I want to punch them all!
I met a woman at school this week I worked in the same building as last year - she looked shocked and said 'ooh you've put weight on'.. I was floored, no hello or anything! I rather stunned admittedly bumbled 'i'm having a baby'.. and she said 'oh yes I know'! she went on to tell me that someone I worked with is due next month - she said 'you must be due before her are you' I said 'no actually I'm due in December'.. wishing by then I could just walk away - Thankfully as she rather surprised by this comment said 'oh' in that way you dread.. someone else came up to talk to her so I left them to it. I won't bother speaking to her next time!!

As for BP and UTI - are you on anti-biotics? I have had protein this week for the first time and was asked about UTI symptoms but have nothing so far. BP is 'up' for me but no one listens to that as it's in the normal range.
Hope they get it cleared up for you and BP goes back down. ((Hugs)) guess we are being welcomed to the third trimester eh!?

11 weeks hun, it'll fly by I'm sure x x

 

[abz]

oh honey. i am browsing this section as me and hubby are ttc and i couldn't not want to give you a hug for that.

sods the lot of them. i saw you in the pictures of bumps thread and thought you looked stunning.

abz xx

 

[angie-bum]

thankyou Abz and P-Hugs!

My Bp was 156/70 in the week, up from 110/60 & have uti. I was advised to get my bp and wee checked weekly now by the practice nurse at the surgery, no antibiotics as yet, but am keeping up lots of fluids & cranberry as suggested. My midwife seemed uninterested in my raised bp last week which is why I bypassed her and went straight to gp surgury instead the following day, who then picked up on my uti when mw hadn't.

As for the comments, I don't think that the people were trying to be insensitive or catty, I just think that changing body shape/pregnancy is such a loud non-verbal statement of being, that others find it really hard not to comment. (No one commented when I was constantly 18 stone) It would be nicer though if they thought for a nano second before they made their comments. Anyway, rant over. I know I will have baby and I will get back to the size I was (just in time to start getting bigger with another baby lol).

 

[abz]

well there's a pregnant lady at work and i was surprised to hear that she still had two months to go given the size of her bump, but i had enough nouse to know that i know little of such things, to not look surprised and to carry on the conversation about the nursery she is preparing. you'd think that others would too!!

 

[angie-bum]

there are a few people at work that are more subtle, their faces show surprise at my change in shape but they say 'ooh your looking well' 'what a lovely bump' or 'you're blooming!' I like those kinda comments!

 

[Purple Hugs]

Hope they get the UTI sorted. And the raise in BP settles too - its' worrying I know ((hugs))
you're right about the nano second. i have a friend who always says i'm 'blooming' and it's lovely.. even when I know I look rubbish as no make-up hair a mess etc on school run! lol

 

[Sunflowers]

Hope the BP settles, in terms of what they'll be keeping an eye on it's mainly the lower reading - that needs to stay within 30 of your booking reading or under 100.. Hope your uti feels better soon, not fun! Has it sparked off lots of strong BHs or have you escaped that one?

 

[angie-bum]

hmm, was at another toddlers party yesterday to get a crash course in children and talked to some mummies again. I felt my bump had been hard for seemingly hours. They were the ones to tell me that it was probably BH contractions. Who knew? I thought it would feel like something contracting rather than bump being unusually hard. So yeah. Lots of BH last night. Not so this morning and had a few baby flutters, so trying not to be an anxious first time mum and am keeping up with my fluids. I will be really glad when bump is a baby I can see and then I can fret about things I can actually see instead! lol

 

[Sunflowers]

lol, the fretting takes on a WHOLE new level once they're here though doesn't it!!

 

[Purple Hugs]

You are brave going to toddler parties they'd have scared me first time around! lol they're a whole other ball game!
Glad you got advice on the hardening, my MW didn't call it BH so I wasn't sure as didn't have it with Erin. But have it something chronic with this one. I tell DH she's being mean to me! lol she kicks low and makes my bump hard as anything feels terrible when I try to stand, walk around supermarkets or walk too long with the dogs.

Sunflower - handy to know about the situ with BP too thanks.

11 more weeks till we're here and fretting about babies eh! lol

 

[angie-bum]

I realise my midwife is a busy lady, but she doesn't pick up on my cues that I want more info, I really feel she rushes through the appointment and isn't picking up on stuff. The practice nurse was the one who said that I should should have regular checks for uti and bp, and it was my health visitor (ex mid wife) that suggested that mw should see me more regularly as bp had started to rise, I had had a big increase in weekly weight and was more puffy. I am going for glucose test tomorrow and am having a repeat wee and bp check the following day. Apart from that I have upped my intake fluids and a making sure I try my best to empty my bladder...can't see I can do anything more.

Anyway, have been feeling slightly odd recently, wavering between fear about baby being in someway damaged inside me and the uncertainess of what I will experience during and after the baby is born. I have a feeling of unease. I suppose I don't like doing anything I have no experience of, so part of it is that. That and I don't like being in the middle of an uncontrolled situation. I suppose I don't know who would assist with my birth and I tend not to trust nhs professionals, because of my experience being one and how my Mother was treated in hospital during the last few months of her life. I do not have an unfailing trust in the medical profession, so undertaking something that is likely to hurt, could be dangerous for me and baby and is likely to take place in the hospital where mum picked up the infection that ultimately killed her, well... I am not looking forward to the experience. I suppose I need to take some time and look into the options. My midwife obviously didn't want to spend the time taking me through the options when I asked her, so I will need to look into it myself. If I don't I am heading for an experience where I can see that I could be very traumatised. Hmm, hadn't realised this was all on my mind. I don't think I am unduly pessamistic, but I am just trying to focus on one thing at a time, get through the pregnancy, get through the birth, get through the first month. Then look at where we are at.

 

[Purple Hugs]

All sounds fair what you've said about looking at your options. ((hugs)) if things aren't feeling right you need to stand up for yourself now hun. There are options of Doulas, home birth, private midwives, Hypno birthing etc (where you can have a practicioner with you at the birth), birth centres in some areas etc. All of which will help you get the birth you want.
Having had a 'rough' birth with Erin I can totally appreciate that I was a rabbit in headlights and did whatever they said honestly. So this time around I'm being much more pro-active and changing the lay of things.

I do hope that all your tests go well ((hugs)) and that if there is something that needs treating they sort themselves out for you. Such a shame that you are feeling this way but totally understand how you are feeling. x

 

[angie-bum]

Thanks Mrs Hugs! feel a bit odd tonight, hubby is in a crabby and seems to be looking at buying expensive things on the net again which makes me want to slap him (he wants to get another work van when he promised to weld the one he has or sell one of his landrovers). He also takes lots of time and effort to get the right present for his family members, but my birthday is soon and I get the distinct impression he hasn't even thought about it. That and he doesn't seem to be planning anything about taking time off around the time of the birth. All in all I feel uncertain about my lot. But it will pass. I need more support. Just don't know where to get it yet.

 

[Purple Hugs]

Angie, so sorry that he's wrapped up in himself - it's really hard when you need support but can't get it from the most obvious place ((hugs)) Have you any girlfriends or family you can call on?
Also as per birthday presents TELL him what you want.. or outrightly tell him you expect something lovely and thoughtful given mumsy status and all! lol I'm a bugger for telling hubby what I want.. one year it was a horse! and yes the one I go and visit everyday. lol

Gotta get tough hun - if you don't ask you don't get! ((Hugs))
Feel like we should be sat on a sofa having a cuppa tea and a giggle over this, but I know it's serious. x

 

[angie-bum]

Thankyou Mrs Hugs ! feel a bit better this am, hubby stomped up to bed early last night and was asleep by the time I got there (hmm very good way of getting out of talking through stuff), but was cheery this am and brought me toast and tea in bed (very rare!) which I couldn't consume because of the glucose test I had to do this am lol! I will need to talk to him tonight about his plans re van etc, you are right I need to stand up for myself and spell out what I want for my birthday and what time he will need to take off for antenatal, hospital visits etc. As well as discussing my need for him to take some of the pressure off of me. I need him to be prepared as well for this birth and beyond.

Anyway glucose test went okay, but the stuff you have to drink is foul (now just have to wait for the blood results to come back). I also saw my midwife in passing, as she does a clinic at my gps on a Wednesday. I told her the practice nurse had said I needed weekly wee and bp readings and she said to book in with her next week, so she seems to be listening. My bp was fine again today 129/69 but wee had lots of leucocytes in, which may indicate infection in bladder or elsewhere in the body, so the web says. It was the same part of the wee stick the practice showed me to show I had uti. Anyway keeping up my fluids and no protein as yet showing up. Good.

Otherwise I have booked into see 2 of the local maternity units in the area in early Nov, as not knowing the makeup of the local services is doing my head in. I will also grill my mw about possiblity of home birth, though to be honest I would rather it wasn't her there, but would like to consider all the options. I am also going with a friend this weekend to look at what I need for my hospital bag and newborn stuff for babs.

Feel less tense about this, though not excited, I would like to feel excited! other plans are to bring more of a female network around me, so will be talking to all the lovely ladies on here, will make the effort to go to the local bumps and babes group held locally on a Monday and will have a group of gals round for my birthday. Good! need support from a little female energy. Was trying to rely on my other half to no avail. He knows from experience that I am a coper, so he lets me cope by myself. I just need to gently remind him that I need him too. I need to tell him what I need. If he still doesn't get it, then I'll slap im! (no only joking). Am having the afternoon off, will go ring a friend now and do some of that female huddling.

 

[abz]

that all sounds like a fantastic plan babes. my oh is also someone who needs things spelling out to him. we are wanting a baby soon and i think i'm going to have to be rather forthright about things when we do, as he'll be totally clueless and won't think to ask!!

abz xx

 

[angie-bum]

thanks abz! feel better now. Just wish my bloke would be a bit more forward thinking sometimes instead of letting me get on with the forward planning....should know better by now. He's a bloke, not a gal, he doesn't think the same way. Needs things spelling out =)

 

[abz]

give him a dictionary

 

[angie-bum]

hmm, got some things sorted. Hubby now aware that there are antenatal things he needs to go to and he has the dates....he is now talking about the need to sort his present van, not buy another and we actually talked about the upcoming birth and us both needing to be prepared and i have even got him to think about going to buy baby things... Progress!!!!!!